Bullying

[nettiesaur]

I've noticed that a number of young people on this board are being bullied at school. Does anyone have any suggestions for them(that won't get them into trouble) on how to deal with this? I'm sure that they would appreciate it.

[barney_rebel]

Run like hell -worked for me. And when you get far enough, make sure you give them the finger and yell "f_ you!"

 

 

[Inthend]

Travel with groups of friends.

 

If things begin to get out of hand (if you feel constantly threatened), you need to tell someone in authority.

 

If you trust in Jesus, ask Him to take care of it. Or send someone to help.

[Mandalorian Hunter]

When I was, I used to stay in the library. Unfortunately, I also tried to earn their respect which lost me a few years which was a shame.

 

Anyway, from what some people have said on here, even avoiding people doesn't seem to do the trick. Another thing that helped for me was to not cheek them, not to look at them, basically not do what they want you to, and that can help. Aslong as people have a few good friends to talk to, not doing much about it is a viable option.

 

The one thing I would definitely advise is to not fight back physically.

[Padfoot]

QUOTE (barney_rebel @ May 10 2008, 06:43 PM)

Run like hell -worked for me.  And when you get far enough, make sure you give them the finger and yell "f_ you!"

(Sorry, I just find it funny you got away with giving them the finger..)

[Lady April]

I personally don't like bullies. I was bullied at school and at home while growing up. Of course at school I had no friends either. So being humiliated was pretty much a common daily thing. It might have been easier if I had friends to group up with but as it was I had no choice but to learn to deal with it. My only escape was turning 18 and getting out of the area.

So as I do not have any helpful advise I can most certainly have an appreciative perception and much sympathy

 

All I can say is this > You will learn exactly what you DO NOT want to be as a person when you get older!

[liquidcrystalcompass]

There is only one way to deal with a bully. Punch him in his nose and let him know that if he ever picks on you that there will be a price to pay. Bullies are weak at the core and easily confused and diffused.

[Fridge]

What I did was to wait until I could get one of them on their own, then hurt them VERY badly indeed.

 

It eventually worked, as they begun to get scared of what I would do to them. Anything they did to me would be repaid with interest.

 

It finally came to a head when two of them attacked me and I just completely lost it. After the red mist cleared, they both ended up in hospital, one with a broken jaw and the other lost a kidney.

 

They didn't bother me after that.

[lerxt1990]

I developed a razor sharp wit and sarcastic tongue and verbally lambasted the bullies until they left me alone. I preyed on every physical or mental shortcoming of the bullies and teasers who tried to victimize me. By late high school they were afraid of me due to my verbal attacks, and the rather large friends I had made on the track team that I had joined (lettered in discus and shotput thank you very much).

 

The best thing to do is try to make friends, and keep yourself busy and in the company of others, as many others as possible, at times where you might be exposed to these as-holes. The other thing to do, if it gets real bad to to reach out for help from friends, parents, and counselors. This isnt 1975, its post Columbine and post Va Tech USA, and young folks complaints are taken much more seriously today.

[Weakly Criminal]

[gleamingalloyaircar81]

QUOTE (lerxt1990 @ May 10 2008, 08:24 PM)

I developed a razor sharp wit and sarcastic tongue and verbally lambasted the bullies until they left me alone. I preyed on every physical or mental shortcoming of the bullies and teasers who tried to victimize me. By late high school they were afraid of me due to my verbal attacks, and the rather large friends I had made on the track team that I had joined (lettered in discus and shotput thank you very much). The best thing to do is try to make friends, and keep yourself busy and in the company of others, as many others as possible, at times where you might be exposed to these as-holes. The other thing to do, if it gets real bad to to reach out for help from friends, parents, and counselors. This isnt 1975, its post Columbine and post Va Tech USA, and young folks complaints are taken much more seriously today.

I wouldnt be able to do that. I cant say something bad to anybody without feeling like a dick.

[theworkingman]

I go around with a group of friends so if something happens we all have eachother's backs. And when it's just me I just defend myself. I'm not the biggest or strongest person at all but if somebody is bullying or trying to pick a fight with me I'll fight back. I try to let people know they don't intimidate me and that I am not afraid of them and they back off.

[liquidcrystalcompass]

QUOTE (Fridge @ May 10 2008, 08:00 PM)

What I did was to wait until I could get one of them on their own, then hurt them VERY badly indeed. It eventually worked, as they begun to get scared of what I would do to them. Anything they did to me would be repaid with interest. It finally came to a head when two of them attacked me and I just completely lost it. After the red mist cleared, they both ended up in hospital, one with a broken jaw and the other lost a kidney. They didn't bother me after that.

Atta boy

[Jack Aubrey]

QUOTE (liquidcrystalcompass @ May 10 2008, 08:06 PM)

There is only one way to deal with a bully. Punch him in his nose and let him know that if he ever picks on you that there will be a price to pay. Bullies are weak at the core and easily confused and diffused.

Yep. It always works.

 

[theworkingman]

Step on their toes and then

[invisibleairwaves]

QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ May 10 2008, 07:53 PM)

QUOTE (liquidcrystalcompass @ May 10 2008, 08:06 PM) There is only one way to deal with a bully.  Punch him in his nose and let him know that if he ever picks on you that there will be a price to pay.  Bullies are weak at the core and easily confused and diffused. Yep. It always works. ...until the bully or the bully's parents complain to the school, you get reprimanded/suspended/arrested for being violent, the bullies get emboldened, and you become known as the "spaz kid" along with whatever else they feel like calling you and the school admins will never take your complaints seriously ever again.

[Ancient Ways]

QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ May 10 2008, 10:53 PM)

QUOTE (liquidcrystalcompass @ May 10 2008, 08:06 PM) There is only one way to deal with a bully.  Punch him in his nose and let him know that if he ever picks on you that there will be a price to pay.  Bullies are weak at the core and easily confused and diffused. Yep. It always works. be willing to take an ass beating if you're going to try this.

[izzy]

I was bullied a lot when I was younger. I'd come home crying some times usually because this one girl used to be terrible to me and my dad decided he'd call the principal (he didn't tell me until after the fact that he made a call). The principal then had meetings with me, this girl and another girl she picked on. To be honest that didn't change a thing. I tried being friends with her but it wasn't realistic.

 

I think I've pretty much drowned out most of those memories from when I was really young but I know I was picked on until I was 13. Then I went to a different school. No one really picked on me I guess in high school. I went to a Christian high school because of my dad and I was pretty much one of the only atheists there so I didn't have that many friends there but I don't think anyone ever bullied me, even if they did what the hell does it matter.

 

Hell I never did anything about it really. I've never been physically bullied just verbally and excluded from a lot of things. But now I get all these stories about how the people I went to grade school with messed up in school, get arrested and what not... so seeing them wreck them f**k up makes me feel not so bad for going through whatever I don't remember. I'm long over it.

 

Meh what can you do really.

[sundog]

 

Great topic Nettie!

 

In Canada, we have the Kids Help Phone. It's somewhere to turn for information and advice and Help. Check out the site, I was looking and it seems pretty good.

 

Here is the direct link to the bullying section (for kids over 13) being bullied: Victims

 

 

Being Canadian, I don't know if the US or the UK have something like this, but the Canadian site might be of some assistance.

[nimagraven]

I spent my whole secondary school life being bullied.

 

I found now, that I'm in my working life, that if people see me as a soft touch, I go out of my way to rectify that now.. With words. It comes down to peer pressure and "wanting to be in with the in crowd" and on the flip, personally not giving a crap. Therefore, what I do now is tell said person to F off. If I let them get away with it once, then it's too late, you'll be laughed at if you stand up for yourself (in my experience)....

 

See... They did it once, it worked, so when you stand up for yourself next time it's a bit of a joke.. They've established that you're a soft touch, so therefore, it'll continue. If I was in school and going through this again, I'd actually stand up for myself -physically- at this point. This is weird because me and Dad had the same discussion about my past and he agreed.. Once you establish yourself as a soft touch, no amount of "bad words" against the person will fix it.. Only something as drastic as smacking them in the face. So what if you get hurt while standing up for yourself? This will more than likely happen, but every friend I've had or relation that did this has actually come off better off.. The bully knows you're not weak and moves onto it's next victim. I've known this to happen and other people started to stand up against the bully. They soon left peeps alone.

 

My brother actually smacked one kid in the face with a cricket bat it got that bad... He soon left him alone though, and this was the same situation.. He let the bully know he was a soft touch once, it continued, he had words with him, bully thought it was a joke.. So he surprised him and gave him a good smack. He was left alone the rest of his schooling life .

 

Bullies are weak and they try to pick on those that are weaker than themselves. Unfortunately, it took me a good 5 years after school to learn how to stand up for myself and make sure no one took advantage of me. I stopped being shy for instance. It doesn't work for everyone but the key to it is actually bullying the bully yourself, I think, and turning it on them and letting them know you're not afraid. And the key to it also is not to worry about the consequences... So what if they bully you? They'll never be your friend... Just tell 'em where to get off! I spent way too much time worrying about that in school. It's all peer pressure crap. The sooner you grow out of that the better hehe.

[treeduck]

Fast double jab, follwed by a left hook to the head, an up jab, a straight right hand, left hook to the body and a finishing right cross with a sweeping left as he falls.

 

If you're left-handed then replace each left with a right and vice versa. let me know how you get on out there.

 

[JohnnyBlaze]

I can't say that I was bullied very much in school because I was good at sports (which goes a long way). But my freshman year in high school a lot of folks didn't know each other because of course it was new for many of us. It was that year where I had my last bullying experience. I was short (still am ) and pudgy at 14 so this dick decided he wanted to pick on me. He was calling me Pudge (how creative, of him eh? ) for several weeks every other day... I just ignored him. Of course, all that time it bugged the shit out of me. Then one day in the cafeteria I was walking over to my table of friends and that dick looked at me with that stupid smirk of his and in his even stupider voice said, "What's up Pudge?" I guess it got to me that day.... I walked over to my table put my books down then walked backed to his (he still had that stupid smirk of his as he saw me getting closer) and not saying a word I picked up his tray of food and threw the entire thing in the trash can beside him. I don't remember what he said or even if I said anything at that time but he did NOTHING! And he never bothered me again. Although I probably looked deadly serious, I'm positive that I didn't look scary or anything because I just don't have that look. He just turned out to be the wussy that folks often say that bullies usually are. The theory held up! I'm not sure if I'd recommend this but sometimes you just have to stand up to a bully or else they'll probably never stop.

[-D-RocK-]

Carry yourself with confidence, be an effective communicator, and always maintain keen situational awareness.

 

 

 

One could always hit the weights hard and take some intense martial arts training. Not only will the bullies back off over time, but you will reap numerous health benefits and your confidence levels will increase 100 fold.

 

 

 

[lerxt1990]

QUOTE (gleamingalloyaircar81 @ May 10 2008, 09:56 PM)

QUOTE (lerxt1990 @ May 10 2008, 08:24 PM) I developed a razor sharp wit and sarcastic tongue and verbally lambasted the bullies until they left me alone.  I preyed on every physical or mental shortcoming of the bullies and teasers who tried to victimize me.  By late high school they were afraid of me due to my verbal attacks, and the rather large friends I had made on the track team that I had joined (lettered in discus and shotput thank you very much). The best thing to do is try to make friends, and keep yourself busy and in the company of others, as many others as possible, at times where you might be exposed to these as-holes.  The other thing to do, if it gets real bad to to reach out for help from friends, parents, and counselors.  This isnt 1975, its post Columbine and post Va Tech USA, and young folks complaints are taken much more seriously today. I wouldnt be able to do that. I cant say something bad to anybody without feeling like a dick. Even if its someone thats abusing you? If thats the case, then avoidance is the best answer, if thats possible.

[GeddyLeefan2112]

Meh, I've always been made fun of, all my life. I'm a very quiet person, I don't dress the "in" clothes, and I'm most certainly not with the "in" crowd.

 

I have a handfull of friends at school, and a handfull of friend who don't go to my school.

 

The only stuff I have ever dealt with is the occassional shove in the hall, the occassional "bitch you wanna fight?" which is met with silence, and the guys in my physics class thought it was hilarious to torment me.

 

All my life, I've never stood up to any of the teasing/being picked on stuff I have endured. I'm a pretty laid back person, I just ignore it. Ignoring it has always seemed to work for me. I just avoid people I know are going to say stupid shit or do stupid shit. And if they do do anything, I just brush it off. Don't acknowledge it. Pretend like they aren't there. Always seemed to work...

 

Except...

 

Several months ago, two guys in my physics particularly enjoyed making fun of me and harassing me everyday. One day, one of the guys brought in a video recorder and took videos of me during class. He liked to zoom in, particularly, on my breasts. He then told me he was going to put all of this on YouTube. I threw my ignoring strategy out the window and began to shoot insults at him. I gave him the middle finger, told him to go f**k himself, all sorts of stuff. It really pissed me off though. I didn't want these nasty guys having videos of me and I certainly didn't want them all over the internet. Oh well, I got past that shit.