laughedatbytime Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 What is Beethoven doing these days? Decomposing.Too soon. 2
goose Posted October 26, 2019 Posted October 26, 2019 What is Beethoven doing these days? Decomposing.Too soon.lol
Principled Man Posted October 31, 2019 Author Posted October 31, 2019 Last year, I went Trick or Treating all around the neighborhood. Every time, the neighbors looked at me all confused and said, "What have you come as?" I'm a werewolf. Neighbors: "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on." Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, ya moron.... 1
goose Posted November 3, 2019 Posted November 3, 2019 ^^^ lol Last night I was a Standup Comic Panda, telling bad jokes like an old-timey comic. "My panda-wife's cooking...it's horrible. Every night the same thing...Chinese! But seriously, last night she burned the bamboo!" "I tell ya, it ain't easy being endangered. No really, it's unbearable!" 1
Thebuckeye2112 Posted December 5, 2019 Posted December 5, 2019 Two Airline mechanics named Gary and Tim get off work at New York's La Guardia Airport, one night La Guardia gets fogged in heavily so there is not any aircraft movement. So that night they do not have any work, usually after Gary and Tim quit the two hit a nearby bar, so Gary said to Tim. "I have heard you can get a buzz off of drinking jet fuel." So they roughly drink a quart a piece and return back home. The next morning Gary calls Tim and says "How are you feeling?" Tim says he is fine, Gary asks Tim if he has a hangover which Tim responds with no, Tim then says to Gary "This is great we can drink all we want and we will not get hung over," Gary then says "One small question, Tim" Tim says "what is that" Gary responds with "Have you farted yet?" Tim answers "no, why?" "Well don't because I am calling from Phoenix, Arizona." Here's another joke a friend of mine said to me in high school: Two Cannibals named Jeff and Mike are sitting down to chow down on a man killed after being hit by a city bus, they cook him and begin consuming him, Jeff asks Mike how he is doing, Mike responds "Awesome, I am having a ball right now."
HemiBeers Posted December 5, 2019 Posted December 5, 2019 What do you call a medical condition when you have too many dogs? A roverdose. 1
Mara Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 Why do Norwegian battleships all have barcodes on the sides? ....so when the ships return to port, they can Scandinavian! 6
Mr. JD Posted January 22, 2020 Posted January 22, 2020 To Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you... You have my Word. 3
Disk98 Posted January 22, 2020 Posted January 22, 2020 (edited) I had a customer at work ask about upgrading her iPhone 7 to an iPhone 11. So I did an Apples to Apples comparison. :D Edited January 22, 2020 by Disk98 3
Mr. JD Posted January 23, 2020 Posted January 23, 2020 If two vegans get in a fight, is it still considered a beef? 6
goose Posted January 24, 2020 Posted January 24, 2020 If two vegans get in a fight, is it still considered a beef?a rhubarb 4
Mara Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 I was gonna make an anal sex joke....but f**k it 6
Mr. JD Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 What did the drummer name his two daughters? Anna one Anna two 4
Mr. JD Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 What's the loudest pet you can get .... A Trumpet 2
Mr. JD Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 How do you cut the ocean in half? With a Sea Saw 3
Principled Man Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 I was gonna make an anal sex joke....but f**k it You're a naughty, naughty lady. Carry on .... :sundog: 1
Principled Man Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 And now, a haiku..... Love is in the air But so is influenza Wash your face and hands 3
Mara Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 If Jesus' earthly dad was a carpenter, how did young J spend his evenings? Jesus swept. I'll show myself out. 3
Principled Man Posted February 4, 2020 Author Posted February 4, 2020 If Jesus' earthly dad was a carpenter, how did young J spend his evenings? Jesus swept. I'll show myself out. I used to be a carpenter. My boss said that I was like lightning. I never struck the same thing twice. 2
HemiBeers Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 To Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you... You have my Word.When telling jokes about Microsoft Office, you really Excel. At least that's my Outlook on the subject. Ok, I'll stop...I'm becoming a pain in the Access. Sorry, I'm a computer guy. 2
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now