Tell A Dumb Joke

[OldRUSHfan]

What kind of bee's give milk ?

 

 

 

Boobies !

 

YES!!! ( @ ) ( @ )

Edited May 19, 2019 by OldRUSHfan

[pjbear05]

From my friend John, a musician and electronics buff:

 

"I'd like to do an old Chinese melody called Tu Ning."

 

" Did you hear, the Energizer Bunny died. Seems he got his polarity reversed and he kept coming and coming and coming. "

[Citizen of the World]

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it’s probably s**t.

[condemned2bfree]

A police man found a young lad drinking battery acid and another eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off.

[Babycat]

A police man found a young lad drinking battery acid and another eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off.

:P

[Babycat]

I refused to believe all the stories about my father stealing from his road construction job.

 

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

I had a job digging tunnels but I quit because it was too boring

 

I quit my job at the helium factory. I refuse to let people speak to me in that tone.

 

:P

[Three Eyes]

Dad jokes, baby!

[JohnRogers]

A priest, a rabbi and a imam walk into a bar. The barmaid asked do any of you guys eat ass?

 

The rabbi asked, “is the ass Kosher”?

 

The imam asked, “is the ass halal”?

 

The priest licked his right index finger tip, “is the ass yours”?

[Three Eyes]

Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart walk into a bar during a tour stop in 1975. The barkeep asks, "What can I get you girls?"

 

The three of them look taken aback. "We're not girls!", Geddy says.

 

The barkeep looks confused at first, but then says, "Ohhh sorry. That was rude of me. What can I get you ladies?"

[vaportrailer]

How do you keep a Rush nerd in suspense?

[vaportrailer]

How many Neil Pearts does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Only one, but no fans or fat people are allowed to watch.

They may purchase his books in the gift-shop, however.

 

 

Yep, that's dumb! :P

[vaportrailer]

Knock-knock

Who's there?

John Rutsey

 

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock

Who's there?

Neil Peart

[Three Eyes]

Q: How do you know if Neil Peart likes you?

 

A: You've never heard of Rush.

[Three Eyes]

What does standing next to a blaring air-raid siren have in common with Geddy Lee's R40 vocal performances?

 

Both are painful to listen to.

Edited May 26, 2019 by Three Eyes

[Principled Man]

I yelled "COW!" at a woman riding a bike, and she angrily flipped me off.

 

A second later, she rode right into the cow. I tried ....

[Three Eyes]

What happens when you order bar food in the vicinity of Alex Lifeson?

 

You bid farewell to your wings.

[Three Eyes]

What's the difference between Rik Emmett and Alex Lifeson?

 

One has the magic power and the other has a magic hairpiece.

[Three Eyes]

Michael Jackson was super talented and so is Geddy Lee and but in my opinion Geddy beats Michael by a nose.

[Three Eyes]

What's the difference between Rush the band and Rush Limbaugh?

 

One gets tons more radio airplay.

[Mr. Not]

Norm Macdonald tells a lot of stupid jokes

 

That makes him a stupid man

[Three Eyes]

One time Rush ended their show with Roll The Bones. When everyone came back from the bathroom they wondered where the hell the band went.

[Three Eyes]

They are a venerable Canadian band who came up in the 70s opening for Kiss among other big names before becoming headliners themselves and rising to international prominence in the 80s. And they kicked it all off with a song about the working man.

 

But enough about Loverboy.

[Three Eyes]

Rush called and asked for their thing back.

[Principled Man]

I got fired from my job at Office Depot over nothing. All I did was sneak up behind my coworkers and yell "SUPPLIES!"

[Blue J]

On Halloween...

 

Kid: Trick or Treat!

Woman: Well, what are you young man?

Kid: I'm a pirate!

Woman: Well, where are your buccaneers?

Kid: Under my buccin' hat.

 

I was going to post that one and you beat me to it.