HemiBeers Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 I went to a garage sale this weekend. There was a radio with a tag on it. "$2 but volume is stuck on maximum." So I think, for $2 I can't turn that down. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 Why is the that band with their 1989 hit, Don't Close Your Eyes, good music for the family to listen to? It's kid tested and mother approved. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.You ought to come out here with us peasants more often. :) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.You ought to come out here with us peasants more often. :) You're right. Wait, I mean you're not peasants! lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted December 5, 2020 Author Share Posted December 5, 2020 I don't always get a good night's sleep, but when I do, it's because I got hammered on Dos Equis.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fordgalaxy Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 Celibacy can be a choice or the result of circumstances. Frank and his wife Ann were attending a marriage enrichment weekend and the instructor said, "it's essential to know the things that are important to your mate." He said to the men, "guys, what is your wife's favorite flower?" Frank leaned over and whispered to Ann, "I'm pretty sure it's Gold Medal, right?" Thus began Frank's celibacy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entre_Perpetuo Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 Bono and Mick Jones go grocery shopping together. After an hour or so, Mick says to Bono "haven't you found what you're looking for yet?" Bono replies, "I would have, but we're all lost in this supermarket." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 May the Mass times acceleration Be with you 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted December 18, 2020 Author Share Posted December 18, 2020 The Invisible Man and the Invisible Woman just had a baby, but the kid’s nothing to look at.... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 (edited) How much did Santa's sleigh cost ? .....It was on the House. haha hahaha ;) Edited December 19, 2020 by Chicken hawk 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat 3 Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 How much did Santa's sleigh cost ? .....It was on the House. haha hahaha ;) :LMAO: :laughing yellow guy: :goodone: :rfl: :joker: 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Bono and Mick Jones go grocery shopping together. After an hour or so, Mick says to Bono "haven't you found what you're looking for yet?" Bono replies, "I would have, but we're all lost in this supermarket." The other Mick Jones is looking for beer that's "cold as ice." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted December 23, 2020 Share Posted December 23, 2020 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fordgalaxy Posted December 23, 2020 Share Posted December 23, 2020 Here's a groaner, if you know the term. Jim and Larry were in their favorite bar having a drink and a prison escapee in a orange jumpsuit runs in and shows a knife and demands everyone give him their wallets or purses. When he gets to Larry, he isn't quick enough with the wallet and the guy stabs him but then panics and runs out of the bar. Larry is so traumatized he passes out and wakes up in the ambulance. Jim is there with him and Larry asks, "what happened?" Jim says, "a con stabbed you, Larry." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 Fella walks into a pub and orders 2 beers. The bartender asks 'why two beers?' The man replied 'Ah you see me and my 2 other brother agreed, that wherever we are in the world we'd order 3 beers to remember each other by' The bartender perplexed replied 'but you've only got 2!' The man then replied 'well, I've given up drinking you see' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 (edited) I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.[/font] Edited December 27, 2020 by condemned2bfree 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_hi_water._ Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Because I am in Michigan, my radio station has Alice Cooper on it. He makes lots of good jokes, including this dad joke: Why does the invisible man not want to go looking for a job? He can't see himself doing it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_hi_water._ Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Why are pennies so damn common? It doesn't make any sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 This song's called Subtraction....Take it away! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
condemned2bfree Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 I knew I shouldn't have rubbed ketchup in my eyes.....that's Heinz sight for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 There is only one Question to ask today. Can we finally play euchre again? With ALL the relevant words and phrases that go with it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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