Principled Man Posted February 4, 2020 Author Share Posted February 4, 2020 To Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you... You have my Word.When telling jokes about Microsoft Office, you really Excel. At least that's my Outlook on the subject. Ok, I'll stop...I'm becoming a pain in the Access. Sorry, I'm a computer guy. Traffic is really bad in your town. Every morning, it’s a hard drive to work..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 Why are valley girls so odd? Cuz they just literally can't even... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted February 4, 2020 Author Share Posted February 4, 2020 I once loved two girls at a timeKate and Edith, both were mineI guess what they always say is trueYou can’t have Kate and Edith, too 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted February 8, 2020 Author Share Posted February 8, 2020 What did the old horse say after he tripped? HELP!! I've fallen and I can't giddyup!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted February 8, 2020 Share Posted February 8, 2020 I used to design custom calendars until i was fired for taking a day off. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted February 8, 2020 Share Posted February 8, 2020 (edited) Why does Tom Cruise run so much in his movies? So he can keep his body firm and far and away because he can’t handle the truth about Scientology. Edited February 8, 2020 by invisible airwave 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted February 9, 2020 Share Posted February 9, 2020 Two maggots were arguing in dead earnest. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 8, 2020 Author Share Posted March 8, 2020 It was really painful, changing all of my clocks, setting them all an hour ahead. A full hour of my life that I will never get back....no, wait..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fridge Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 "In Scotland we have mixed feelings about Global Warming. Because we all get to sit on the mountains and watch the English drown." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disk98 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 If you anger the pilot on an airplane, don’t tell him cool his jets. It won’t end well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Two maggots were arguing in dead earnest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Eyes Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Just got this one from David Spade's monologue on Lights Out with David Spade. "Italy is planning to close college campuses as a precaution against coronavirus. This includes the most famous Italian college Whatsamatta U!!!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 11, 2020 Author Share Posted March 11, 2020 People aren't shaking hands these days because of the COVID-19 hysteria. Not me. I'm not shaking hands with anyone because everyone's OUT OF TOILET PAPER..... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldRUSHfan Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 (edited) Just went and checked on how much toilet paper is in my bathroom closet...LOLBettya Mr. Whipple is really getting off on this! Edited March 12, 2020 by OldRUSHfan 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 12, 2020 Author Share Posted March 12, 2020 What do Australians say to each other to help fight the virus spread? Bidet, mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HemiBeers Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 Hope they cure this Covid-19 before tick season or else we'll be faced with Corona and Lyme. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 13, 2020 Author Share Posted March 13, 2020 Hope they cure this Covid-19 before tick season or else we'll be faced with Corona and Lyme. :goodone: :laughing guy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 Just got this one from David Spade's monologue on Lights Out with David Spade. "Italy is planning to close college campuses as a precaution against coronavirus. This includes the most famous Italian college Whatsamatta U!!!"Spade is ripping off Bullwinkle!?! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
librarian Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 what do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HemiBeers Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 All the toilet paper hoarders must think it's the Zombie Apocalypse. They're getting prepared for when they see the Zombies and shit themselves. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Eyes Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 Just got this one from David Spade's monologue on Lights Out with David Spade. "Italy is planning to close college campuses as a precaution against coronavirus. This includes the most famous Italian college Whatsamatta U!!!"Spade is ripping off Bullwinkle!?! He might not realize it. lol. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HemiBeers Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 Just got this one from David Spade's monologue on Lights Out with David Spade. "Italy is planning to close college campuses as a precaution against coronavirus. This includes the most famous Italian college Whatsamatta U!!!"Spade is ripping off Bullwinkle!?! He might not realize it. lol.no he's old enough to realize it...and hoping no one remembers. Spade is a washed up hack. I watched his faux talk show once and it was an embarrassment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 14, 2020 Author Share Posted March 14, 2020 (edited) Just got this one from David Spade's monologue on Lights Out with David Spade. "Italy is planning to close college campuses as a precaution against coronavirus. This includes the most famous Italian college Whatsamatta U!!!"Spade is ripping off Bullwinkle!?! He might not realize it. lol.no he's old enough to realize it...and hoping no one remembers. Spade is a washed up hack. I watched his faux talk show once and it was an embarrassment. As with the majority of SNL alumni, he had brief success after leaving the show, but then faded away quickly. Not enough talent to sustain a career. Edited March 14, 2020 by Principled Man 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HemiBeers Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 (edited) what do you get when you put p and shit together? Shipt Edited March 14, 2020 by HemiBeers 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Eyes Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 Wow, very strong hate for the Spade man! lol. Didn't expect that. He's a fine comic, imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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