Jump to content


The Crappy Novel Thread

books bad worst

  • Please log in to reply
35 replies to this topic

#1 ThatLightInYourEyes

ThatLightInYourEyes

    Rushaholic

  • Members
  • 1596 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:"Underwater by the end of this century!" rave the climatologists.
  • Interests:Trying. Just trying.

Posted 01 December 2013 - 09:46 PM

Not everyone likes to read, but we all like to complain about what we have read. Aside from the usual Twilight/Fifty Shades/Valley Of The Dolls suspects, what other novels suck and why? To kick off the thread, I guess I'll have to share the fact that I've started reading what is considered the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of novels, which is available here:

http://www.amazon.co...k/dp/B004UJL8BM

Sponsored Post

#2 Narps

Narps

    Official TRF Pace Car Driver

  • Members
  • 27720 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Myrtle Beach SC
  • Interests:Exercise, my children, my new grandchildren(twin boys), the rest of my life...

Posted 01 December 2013 - 10:13 PM

I'll get the festivities started. I am one of those everyone's who doesn't like to read. I would probably critique novels about as well as I apparently do movies. :)

#3 laughedatbytime

laughedatbytime

    Twin City Cub Fan

  • Members *
  • 69630 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:suburban Minneapolis
  • Interests:women's Uggs, trying to compensate for my small hands, buying gifts for the equipment staff, smashing certain cell phones, that dreamy Judge Berman

Posted 01 December 2013 - 10:24 PM

To the Lighthouse—Virginia Woolf

Nothing happens in this book.    This is literally true.   I was assigned this book in college and it was torture.

#4 goose

goose

    Honkin' in Nevada

  • Members *
  • 53733 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Sierra Nevada foothills, East Slope
  • Interests:Comical conies

Posted 01 December 2013 - 10:31 PM

Anything that reads like a script, I avoid.  Grisham, minus Painted House, for example.

#5 Cyclonus X-1

Cyclonus X-1

    Yurts >>>>>>> Gers

  • Members *
  • 61417 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Minnesota
  • Interests:Music, literature, sports.

Posted 01 December 2013 - 11:03 PM

View Postgoose, on 01 December 2013 - 10:31 PM, said:

Anything that reads like a script, I avoid.  Grisham, minus Painted House, for example.

Aside from some Michael Crichton and Neil Gaiman books, I totally agree.

Pamela is a crappy novel.  Let's see what I can remember of it.  Dude tries to rape a girl like four times.  He finally decides to leave her alone and gets all mopey.  She realizes just how into her he is and falls for him.  He's like, "Well, okay, we can be together, but here are TWO HUNDRED RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW."  She agrees and they live "happily ever after," thus showing that living a virtuous life, as the girl did by fighting him off initially and preserving her chastity, has its rewards!  :facepalm:

#6 Tombstone Mountain

Tombstone Mountain

    The Grinder of all Yukonian Blades

  • Members *
  • 14365 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Goatnut, TN
  • Interests:Picking it up. Laying it down.
    Staying on the inside track.
    Sniffin' out the truth!

Posted 01 December 2013 - 11:23 PM

Apelius—The Golden Ass

It's more fun translating than to casually read. Well not really.  The ancient Greeks were straight up freaks!

#7 Tombstone Mountain

Tombstone Mountain

    The Grinder of all Yukonian Blades

  • Members *
  • 14365 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Goatnut, TN
  • Interests:Picking it up. Laying it down.
    Staying on the inside track.
    Sniffin' out the truth!

Posted 01 December 2013 - 11:28 PM

View PostNarpet, on 01 December 2013 - 10:13 PM, said:

I'll get the festivities started. I am one of those everyone's who doesn't like to read. I would probably critique novels about as well as I apparently do movies. :)
Never a better time than now...why don't you use your potty time for something other than Popular Mechanics or Golf Digest...or knowing you-Playboy:)


#8 Cygnus 2112

Cygnus 2112

    The Professor

  • Members *
  • 4651 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:British Columbia Canada

Posted 08 December 2013 - 10:00 PM

The Colordao Kid by Stephen King.  I love his books but this one went absolutely nowhere.

#9 Principled Man

Principled Man

    Mathematical Porn Star

  • Members *
  • 10280 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Western Wisconsin
  • Interests:Rush
    The Green Bay Packers
    The Milwaukee Brewers
    Monty Python
    Cincinnati Chili
    Refreshing Beverages
    Golf, bowling, and Blu-ray
    TRAVEL
    Getting Slim & Trim
    And everything astronomical, cosmological, whatever can be measured in light-years.....out there in that Great Big Magnificent Universe!!

Posted 09 December 2013 - 07:10 AM

Hunters Of Dune and Sandworms Of Dune, by Kevin Anderson and Brian Herbert.  

The most insipid pieces of prose I have ever read.  Irrelevant side plots, redundancies galore.....a writing style that would insult the intelligence of a 12-year old.  A horribly ignoble end to the Dune series.  Frank Herbert would have been embarrassed to no end.  He's lucky to have passed away before seeing his masterpiece destroyed.

#10 bathory

bathory

    Book Würm

  • Members *
  • 9561 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 09 December 2013 - 09:38 AM

dune got shitty before herbert croaked

#11 Segue Myles

Segue Myles

    Cupcake Warrior

  • Members
  • 32227 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United Kingdom
  • Interests:Lacuna Coil
    Nightwish
    Within Temptation
    The Juliana Theory
    REM
    Thrice
    Idlewild
    Jimmy Eat World
    HIM
    Paradise Lost
    AFI
    U2
    Bruce Springsteen
    Sonata Arctica
    Pearl Jam
    Biffy Clyro
    Placebo

Posted 09 December 2013 - 10:27 PM

Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!

#12 theredtamasrule

theredtamasrule

    The Elitist Booby Type

  • Members
  • 8902 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Central KY

Posted 09 December 2013 - 11:09 PM

View PostPrincipled Man, on 09 December 2013 - 07:10 AM, said:

The most insipid pieces of prose I have ever read.....a writing style that would insult the intelligence of a 12-year old.

Sounds like you're talking about Clockwork Angels. This makes me highly dubious of any work by Anderson.

#13 Principled Man

Principled Man

    Mathematical Porn Star

  • Members *
  • 10280 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Western Wisconsin
  • Interests:Rush
    The Green Bay Packers
    The Milwaukee Brewers
    Monty Python
    Cincinnati Chili
    Refreshing Beverages
    Golf, bowling, and Blu-ray
    TRAVEL
    Getting Slim & Trim
    And everything astronomical, cosmological, whatever can be measured in light-years.....out there in that Great Big Magnificent Universe!!

Posted 10 December 2013 - 12:39 AM

View Posttheredtamasrule, on 09 December 2013 - 11:09 PM, said:

View PostPrincipled Man, on 09 December 2013 - 07:10 AM, said:

The most insipid pieces of prose I have ever read.....a writing style that would insult the intelligence of a 12-year old.

Sounds like you're talking about Clockwork Angels. This makes me highly dubious of any work by Anderson.

Once I heard that Anderson was doing CA, I knew I wasn't going to read it.  The guy is a hack.

#14 goose

goose

    Honkin' in Nevada

  • Members *
  • 53733 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Sierra Nevada foothills, East Slope
  • Interests:Comical conies

Posted 11 December 2013 - 02:31 AM

View PostSegue Myles, on 09 December 2013 - 10:27 PM, said:

Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!
I enjoyed it.  I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.

#15 JohnnyBlaze

JohnnyBlaze

    The Ghost Rider

  • Members *
  • 30145 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 16 December 2013 - 08:18 AM

View Postgoose, on 11 December 2013 - 02:31 AM, said:

View PostSegue Myles, on 09 December 2013 - 10:27 PM, said:

Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!
I enjoyed it.  I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.
I enjoyed it so much that I read it twice

#16 GeddysMullet

GeddysMullet

    Non-Binary

  • Members
  • 5293 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Northeast New Jersey
  • Interests:music, books, documentary films, parrots, long hair, big noses

Posted 16 December 2013 - 09:44 AM

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 16 December 2013 - 08:18 AM, said:

View Postgoose, on 11 December 2013 - 02:31 AM, said:

View PostSegue Myles, on 09 December 2013 - 10:27 PM, said:

Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!
I enjoyed it.  I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.
I enjoyed it so much that I read it twice

I LOVED Life Of Pi.  I've read it twice, too, and have recommended it to a number of people.  

Crappy novels?  Anything by Dan Brown :yes:

#17 JohnnyBlaze

JohnnyBlaze

    The Ghost Rider

  • Members *
  • 30145 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 20 December 2013 - 01:58 AM

View PostGeddysMullet, on 16 December 2013 - 09:44 AM, said:

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 16 December 2013 - 08:18 AM, said:

View Postgoose, on 11 December 2013 - 02:31 AM, said:

View PostSegue Myles, on 09 December 2013 - 10:27 PM, said:

Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!
I enjoyed it.  I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.
I enjoyed it so much that I read it twice

I LOVED Life Of Pi.  I've read it twice, too, and have recommended it to a number of people.  

Crappy novels?  Anything by Dan Brown :yes:
I've only read Da Vinci Code but it was enough to not read any other Dan Brown book. It just came across to me like a pompous Hardy Boys mystery story.

#18 GeddysMullet

GeddysMullet

    Non-Binary

  • Members
  • 5293 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Northeast New Jersey
  • Interests:music, books, documentary films, parrots, long hair, big noses

Posted 20 December 2013 - 09:23 AM

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 20 December 2013 - 01:58 AM, said:

View PostGeddysMullet, on 16 December 2013 - 09:44 AM, said:

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 16 December 2013 - 08:18 AM, said:

View Postgoose, on 11 December 2013 - 02:31 AM, said:

View PostSegue Myles, on 09 December 2013 - 10:27 PM, said:

Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!
I enjoyed it.  I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.
I enjoyed it so much that I read it twice

I LOVED Life Of Pi.  I've read it twice, too, and have recommended it to a number of people.  

Crappy novels?  Anything by Dan Brown :yes:
I've only read Da Vinci Code but it was enough to not read any other Dan Brown book. It just came across to me like a pompous Hardy Boys mystery story.

DaVinci Code held together just well enough to be a good book for a long plane flight.  The rest of his books were contrived and transparent movie-script garbage.

#19 OGr8imL84AD8inF8sBlackSedan

OGr8imL84AD8inF8sBlackSedan

    Solar Federalist

  • Members
  • 2112 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Sanford, FL

Posted 21 December 2013 - 10:25 AM

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 08 December 2013 - 10:00 PM, said:

The Colordao Kid by Stephen King.  I love his books but this one went absolutely nowhere.

Never tried that one but King, as much as I love his books, can write some clinkers.

Tommyknockers sucked.
The Shining...just couldn't get through it...Maybe I should try again.
The Gunslinger...went nowhere.

Non king....Let me see. I'd heard about this "great" book called Tea With Terrorists....what a POS.

Andy Summers of The Police wrote a memoir...It was Horrendous.

The problem I have with crappy books is that they are easy to forget. I know I've tried quite a few....just forgot about 'em.

EDIT:

Just checked in at the Books You Want To See As Movies thread and have to add the OP in that thread to this thread.

Geralds Game...Couldn't get through it as much good as I'd heard about it.

Edited by OGr8imL84AD8inF8sBlackSedan, 21 December 2013 - 10:28 AM.


#20 Cygnus 2112

Cygnus 2112

    The Professor

  • Members *
  • 4651 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:British Columbia Canada

Posted 21 December 2013 - 12:06 PM

View PostOGr8imL84AD8inF8sBlackSedan, on 21 December 2013 - 10:25 AM, said:

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 08 December 2013 - 10:00 PM, said:

The Colordao Kid by Stephen King.  I love his books but this one went absolutely nowhere.

Never tried that one but King, as much as I love his books, can write some clinkers.

Tommyknockers sucked.
The Shining...just couldn't get through it...Maybe I should try again.
The Gunslinger...went nowhere.

Non king....Let me see. I'd heard about this "great" book called Tea With Terrorists....what a POS.

Andy Summers of The Police wrote a memoir...It was Horrendous.

The problem I have with crappy books is that they are easy to forget. I know I've tried quite a few....just forgot about 'em.

EDIT:

Just checked in at the Books You Want To See As Movies thread and have to add the OP in that thread to this thread.

Geralds Game...Couldn't get through it as much good as I'd heard about it.

I enjoyed The Shining.  And the Gunslinger is not a great book but a great intro into the Dark Tower Series.





Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: books, bad, worst

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users