Bahamas Posted April 27, 2023 Share Posted April 27, 2023 A Rush album goes up to a group of fans and asks: Is there life after forty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 Which classic artist is most beloved by rappers? MC Escher 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 Iron Age societies had amusement parks, but they all went out of business. Nothing but ferrous wheels. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 Beethoven, Mozart and Bach were buried in the ground rather than cremated. They're among the most famous decomposers in the world! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy85 Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 (edited) Almost forgot... This week is diarrhea week. Runs through Friday. Edited May 10, 2023 by ozzy85 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krystal Posted May 15, 2023 Share Posted May 15, 2023 What has 4 legs, has 3 meals a day but never goes anywhere? A dinner table 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 I was feeling depressed. So my friend put her hand on my shoulder and said: "Earth." That meant the world to me. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 30, 2023 Author Share Posted May 30, 2023 There's a cool news story from Sweden today. It's about Hvaldimir, a beluga whale who was part of an old Russian navy spy program, and is now frequenting Swedish waters. He had a Russian electronic harness attached to him. I’m pretty sure that his entire family had the harnesses. They were the original i-Pods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BastillePark Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 What happens if a frog breaks down on the highway? It get's toad away. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted June 6, 2023 Author Share Posted June 6, 2023 What were the stand-up rodeo clown’s last words before he was stampeded? “Stop me if you’ve herd this one.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted June 9, 2023 Author Share Posted June 9, 2023 I'm God, I know it Defy me and you're the Enemy I'm God, I know it Defy me and you're the Enemy Yeah, all around in my home town They're trying to track me down, yeah They say they want to bring me in guilty For the killing of the Presidency For the life of the Presidency But I say.... I'm God, I know it Cause I swear it's all just common sense I'm God, I know it But they say it is a Capital offense Them boxes got the better of me And what is to be must be Every day the bucket goes to the well But one day the bottom will drop out Yes, today the bottom has dropped out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted June 12, 2023 Share Posted June 12, 2023 A dumb META joke: A haiku is five syllables on 1st and 3rd. Seven on middle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted June 20, 2023 Author Share Posted June 20, 2023 A cop pulled me over last night. Officer: "Have you been drinking?" -- No, not at all, officer. Officer: "Is that marijuana I smell?" -- No. I ran over a skunk a few miles back. Officer: Then why are your eyes so red? -- It was a baby skunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 Now here's Peter Gabriel's reaction to Baroness' new album not being self titled. "So?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted June 23, 2023 Share Posted June 23, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted June 27, 2023 Author Share Posted June 27, 2023 My 7 year-old daughter came home from school looking quite confused. “A boy in my class had me play doctor with him.” -- WHAT?! What did he have you do? “Nothing; I just sat and waited 45 minutes. Daddy, what's an insurance company?” 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted June 30, 2023 Share Posted June 30, 2023 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted July 11, 2023 Author Share Posted July 11, 2023 Dad: Knock, Knock! Son: Who's there? Dad: Hike Son: Hike who? Dad: ........... Unsuspecting son Dad waiting with bated breath Sets the perfect trap 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BastillePark Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 Did you hear about the Feminist meeting Chuck Norris attended? He got his shirt ironed and a sandwich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjbear05 Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 Farcebook acting the fool over a comment deemed "in violation of standards". Multiple attempts to change passweird keep looping me to Security update. Emailed my friends about the dump and deleted thing FB from the tablet. Fuq 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted July 18, 2023 Share Posted July 18, 2023 Saw this one on Threads. It’s illegal to laugh out loud in Hawaii. You have to use a low ha. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted July 31, 2023 Author Share Posted July 31, 2023 A creative way to rank the people in your life: I would buy you a beer. I would buy you dinner. I would drive you to the airport. I would drive you to the hospital. I would help you move. I would let you stay at my place for the weekend. I would bail you out of jail. I would put a hit on the guy who hurt you. I would look through tons of garbage to find your ashes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted August 1, 2023 Author Share Posted August 1, 2023 I gave my seat on the bus to an elderly man. The old fart drove us right into the ditch. I'm now unemployed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted August 4, 2023 Share Posted August 4, 2023 My Doc told me my DNA is backwards. I replied: "And?" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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