Tell A Dumb Joke

[Jack Aubrey]

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

[toymaker]

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

 

Put a little boogie into it.

[Principled Man]

5 hours ago, Jack Aubrey said:

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

 

 

That reminds me of a funny story.......................................

[Principled Man]

My wife told me that sex is much better during vacations.

 

I wasn't expecting this on her postcard from Greece.

[BastillePark]

Why doesn't Mike Pence have sex?

 

He's afraid it would lead to dancing.

 

 

(plagiarized from Steve Martin and Martin Short)

[Principled Man]

My seafood quiche is delicious!

 

I always cut it into eighths, so I can call it Octopi.  

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

A dung beetle walks into a bar. He says, "Is this stool taken?"

[BastillePark]

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

 

 

Two dough nuts.

[Principled Man]

Aliens travelling the galaxy would never stop and visit Earth.

 

It has a one-star rating.

[invisible airwave]

What is Kevin Bacon's favorite Dream Theater album?

 

Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence

[Principled Man]

My wife is a physician, and I have an MBA.  One of our friends once asked her if she ever tells me to call her "Doctor".

 

Hell no!  My wife said.  If I do that, then I would have to call him "Master"....  

[blackhawkrush]

A cannibal says to a another one, 'I don't like your wife'. The other one replies, 'Eat the chips'.  

[Principled Man]

I fired my weightlifting instructor.

 

He didn't know squat.
 

[ozzy85]

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

 

Two. But how the hell did they get in a light bulb?

[blackhawkrush]

Woman, 'Now look here'. Man, 'I probably will'.   

[BastillePark]

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

 

I've never had a lentil on my face.

[condemned2bfree]

What fruit do cows eat?

 

Moo berries.

 

Yes that's dumb, but in my defense, I thought of it for the kids.

[condemned2bfree]

I'd like to die like my dad, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like his passengers.

[condemned2bfree]

When the inventor of the drawing board messed up, where did he go back to?

[condemned2bfree]

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol in the pilots ribs and demanded ''take me to the canaries!''

[condemned2bfree]

I have kleptomania, but when it's really bad, I take something for it.

[condemned2bfree]

Woman goes to the docs and says ''I've got a bad back. Docs replies ''that's old age.

 

Women not happy asks for a second opinion, doc answers ''you're ugly as well.''

[condemned2bfree]

Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

[Principled Man]

The American Academy of Pediatrics has announced that it is now using binary computations when discussing child development.  

 

The Terrible 2's are now officially known as The Terrible 10's.

[BastillePark]

1 hour ago, Principled Man said:

The American Academy of Pediatrics has announced that it is now using binary computations when discussing child development.  

 

The Terrible 2's are now officially known as The Terrible 10's.

What if they're non-binary?