Principled Man Posted October 10, 2023 Author Share Posted October 10, 2023 5 hours ago, Principled Man said: The American Academy of Pediatrics has announced that it is now using binary computations when discussing child development. The Terrible 2's are now officially known as The Terrible 10's. 4 hours ago, BastillePark said: What if they're non-binary? I knew I should have said Base 2 instead of binary.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 Saw this one on Threads a minute ago. Why is 4 in the afternoon the best time to start playing golf? Because it's tea time! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted October 13, 2023 Author Share Posted October 13, 2023 Microbiologists always go on vacation out in ranch country. They love walking through the Pasteur.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted October 17, 2023 Author Share Posted October 17, 2023 My neighbor is Senior Professor of Ancient Greek Language and Culture at his university. When corresponding with his students, he always gets the Alpha mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted October 17, 2023 Author Share Posted October 17, 2023 Why did the Apollo space program run way over-budget? Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins insisted that it be filmed on location. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BastillePark Posted October 17, 2023 Share Posted October 17, 2023 A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; and is named "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tearfully tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 Professor: Can you give me an example of wasted energy? Pupil: Yes sir. Telling a hair-raising story to a bald-headed man. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 Woman: I am Evette. Man: You look after the animals, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 All characters in this movie are either alive or dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted October 23, 2023 Author Share Posted October 23, 2023 I hate it when people use decimal points instead of periods when they're writing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 Woman: I'm going to have six cats, four dogs and three hamsters. Man: That'll surprise the doctor. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted October 31, 2023 Author Share Posted October 31, 2023 Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Do you mean a martini?" Caesar says, "If I had wanted a double, I would have said so!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted October 31, 2023 Share Posted October 31, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted November 4, 2023 Share Posted November 4, 2023 What goes "ninety-nine clump, ninety-nine clump"? A centipede with a wooden leg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted November 4, 2023 Share Posted November 4, 2023 I was on a Zoom call the other day and I told a joke but no one laughed. It turns out I'm not even remotely funny. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted November 4, 2023 Share Posted November 4, 2023 Did you know that absolutely nothing spelled backwards is: "gnihton yletulosba" which, ironically, means absolutely nothing! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted November 4, 2023 Share Posted November 4, 2023 My wife got terribly upset and angry when she found all those letters. I doubt I'll ever get her to play Scrabble with me ever again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted November 4, 2023 Share Posted November 4, 2023 Woman's old flame approaches her and says, 'Come on, baby. Admit it, you missed me'. The woman punches him and says, 'Yeah, but not this time'. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted November 7, 2023 Author Share Posted November 7, 2023 Sheepdog: All 40 sheep are here, boss. Farmer: I only have 38 sheep, you dumb dog! Sheepdog: I know, dumbass. I rounded them up. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted November 10, 2023 Share Posted November 10, 2023 I had a dog for dinner when I was in China. Yum-yum. That was his name. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted November 11, 2023 Share Posted November 11, 2023 Woman: I just started doing Yoga. Man: He's very lucky, whoever this Yoga guy is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted November 14, 2023 Share Posted November 14, 2023 I don't eat marijuana infused beef. The steaks are too high. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted November 14, 2023 Author Share Posted November 14, 2023 Where do Stormtroopers always shop? At the store next to Target. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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