librarian Posted October 10, 2021 Posted October 10, 2021 And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life” But John came fifth and won a toaster...
Principled Man Posted October 19, 2021 Author Posted October 19, 2021 When you fall asleep in a suit of armor, you’ll wake up to pee in the metal of the knight. 1
Principled Man Posted October 19, 2021 Author Posted October 19, 2021 .......... Very funny, but so hideous, I can’t look at it again. :laughing guy: 2
RUSHHEAD666 Posted October 22, 2021 Posted October 22, 2021 What does the Titanic and the "Sixth Sense" have in common? Icy dead people 2
Weakly Criminal Posted October 24, 2021 Posted October 24, 2021 (edited) Ladies, please contain yourselves in the grocery store! And try to stay carlm. Edited October 24, 2021 by Weakly Criminal 1
goose Posted October 25, 2021 Posted October 25, 2021 Ladies, please contain yourselves in the grocery store! And try to stay carlm.:lol:
Principled Man Posted November 25, 2021 Author Posted November 25, 2021 The Dragon of Erebor was incorrigible as a child. His mother would always say, "Get that damned smaug look off your face!" 2
Principled Man Posted November 27, 2021 Author Posted November 27, 2021 We have a big buck wandering the neighborhood. He’s a bit clumsy, so we named him “Scooby Doo”. Every fall, he goes into Rut Roh.....
Fordgalaxy Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says: "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"He says: "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on thecounter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.He says: "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."She says: "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound ofit dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first, she isreally embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerkcould tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know thatshe was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says: "That'll be $34.50 please."The woman is totally confused by this and asks: "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"He replies: "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $11.00 and the catfish bait is $3.50." 1
Principled Man Posted December 18, 2021 Author Posted December 18, 2021 Why are thermonuclear fusion scientists so funny? He He He.....
Fordgalaxy Posted December 20, 2021 Posted December 20, 2021 What does Santa get bad children for Christmas? A package of batteries with the note, "toy not included." 1
Chicken hawk Posted December 20, 2021 Posted December 20, 2021 (edited) What did the Peanut Butter say to the Grape on Christmas Eve?? Tis the Season to be Jelly ! Edited December 20, 2021 by Chicken hawk
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