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Tell A Dumb Joke


Principled Man
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And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life”

 

But John came fifth and won a toaster...

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When you fall asleep in a suit of armor, you’ll wake up to pee in the metal of the knight.
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..........

 

Very funny, but so hideous, I can’t look at it again. :laughing guy:

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The Dragon of Erebor was incorrigible as a child.

 

His mother would always say, "Get that damned smaug look off your face!"

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We have a big buck wandering the neighborhood.

 

He’s a bit clumsy, so we named him “Scooby Doo”.

 

Every fall, he goes into Rut Roh.....

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A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says: "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says: "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the

counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."

 

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says: "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

She says: "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of

it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

 

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first, she is

really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk

could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that

she was the only person around.

 

The man rings up the sale and says: "That'll be $34.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks: "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies: "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $11.00 and the catfish bait is $3.50."

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