Principled Man Posted May 17, 2022 Author Share Posted May 17, 2022 (edited) People like to say that with age comes wisdom. OK….so I don’t have wrinkles. I have wise cracks. Edited May 17, 2022 by Principled Man 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted May 23, 2022 Author Share Posted May 23, 2022 American History - The Wild West: It would have been much nicer out there if they had made the towns big enough for everyone. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted May 23, 2022 Share Posted May 23, 2022 A big plus to living in Switzerland would have the be the flag. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted June 13, 2022 Author Share Posted June 13, 2022 A 38-year-old Michigan man was critically injured in a explosion at his house and remains hospitalized, Warren Police Commissioner William Dwyer said. The man lost both of his arms in the explosion and was in a coma. Michael Liburdi, 38, was under federal investigation for firearms violations at the time of the Saturday afternoon blast at his home, where he lived alone with his dog. After the explosion, officers executed a search warrant of the residence and found one dozen rifles, handguns, loaded AR-style magazines, small explosive devices, and 4,000 rounds of ammunition among other materials in the house. The explosion caught Liburdi completely by surprise......and totally unarmed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamas Posted June 18, 2022 Share Posted June 18, 2022 We watched some of Ghostbusters : Afterlife. Lots of kids, lots of jokes. A Grasshopper walks into a bar. The Bartender says "we have a drink made after you". The Grasshopper says "You have a drink made after Steve?" What do you call a dead polar bear? Anything you like. It's dead! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted December 6, 2022 Author Share Posted December 6, 2022 James Dean hated Christmas. He didn't want to be like everyone else with their caroling and decorations and gift-giving..... He was a rebel without a Claus. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted December 6, 2022 Share Posted December 6, 2022 I sent my hearing aid in for repair a few months ago. I haven't heard anything since. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted December 6, 2022 Author Share Posted December 6, 2022 Han and Leia stopped trying to surprise Luke on Christmas. He always sensed their presents. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted December 6, 2022 Share Posted December 6, 2022 I farted on the elevator today. It was wrong on so many levels. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted December 9, 2022 Author Share Posted December 9, 2022 (edited) I got a wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn't a huge present....just a stocking stuffer. Edited December 9, 2022 by Principled Man 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted December 9, 2022 Share Posted December 9, 2022 Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted December 9, 2022 Author Share Posted December 9, 2022 Christmas Pick-Up Lines for Adults: “Can I take your picture? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas.” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted December 9, 2022 Share Posted December 9, 2022 I've been telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted December 9, 2022 Share Posted December 9, 2022 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted December 10, 2022 Share Posted December 10, 2022 21 hours ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said: Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe. My son enjoyed that one 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted December 15, 2022 Author Share Posted December 15, 2022 [A man is applying for a credit card at a department store.] Ditz Clerk: What is your occupation? Man: I’m a tree trimmer. Ditz Clerk: OK, so what do you do after Christmas? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 I lost my wife's audio book. Now I'll never hear the end of it. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 I wouldn't worry about your phone or your TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted December 27, 2022 Author Share Posted December 27, 2022 Russian sausage tycoon dies after falling from hotel in India Pavel Antov, a Russian lawmaker and businessman who made his fortune in the sausage industry, died after falling from the third floor of his hotel room while on vacation in India — the latest Russian businessman to die under mysterious circumstances this year. [Washington Post] For those who knew Antov well, they were all in agreement that he was the wurst. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine Posted December 28, 2022 Share Posted December 28, 2022 Two TV aerials meet on a rooftop and fall in love. A few weeks later they end up married The reception was excellent 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted January 22 Author Share Posted January 22 Today I saw a bumper sticker that said, "I'm a veterinarian. I drive like an animal!". It made me realize just how many proctologists are driving around. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 Have you heard? They're not making 12 inch rulers any longer. I asked my wife when her birthday was & she said March first. So I walked around the block & asked her again. My wife told me to put ketchup on the grocery list. Now I can't read it at all. Do they allow loud laughingt in Hawaii, or just a low hah? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted February 4 Author Share Posted February 4 I was at the library today. I went up to the counter and asked the guy if they had any books on paranoia. The guy leans forward, stares right at me and whispers, "They're right behind you." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weakly Criminal Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 On 1/24/2023 at 7:14 AM, Jack Aubrey said: Have you heard? They're not making 12 inch rulers any longer. If they're from China, they are probably making them shorter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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