PhilCastro Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 First some context for the situation: about 15 years ago my mom took this job at a Cafeteria at RIT. This is the school I go too now. It is a private school with high tuition prices. over $35,000 a year. My mom took a huge pay cut to take this job for one reason. So my brother and I could go to college for basically free. As a family, we've never been well off financially so this was huge to my mom that we would be able to get a college education. Fast forward to today: I'm a third year student here at RIT, and it is going great. my grades are solid and I love what I'm doing. But now, we are in some trouble and this is where i need to know what you think. My mom is a supervisor at her job now. She has been for almost 10 years. She has seen many student workers come and go from this place. They employ almost 50 students a term here. Well, my mom was talking to a few of the students last week. They were talking about going out and partying and stuff. So my mom turns to the one kid, pats him on his belly once, and says "well it looks like you are starting to get a beer gut." The kid turns to her and says "Don't ever touch me again. Everyone else here may think you are cute and funny, but i think you are annoying and I have never liked you." My mom was stunned. she immediately apologizes to the kid. Well now it turns out that apologizing was not good enough. My mom received an email a couple days later notifying that the kid went to HR and filed a harassment claim on her. She has been suspended from work, and they told her to report to HR on Tuesday (tomorrow). And now today, HR calls her and tells her that they are just going to call her tomorrow and have a phone conference with her. So basically if my mom gets fired from this job, I will have no way of paying for school, and i wouldn't be able to get a degree from one of the best schools in the area. I was just wondering what people think? Is that harassment? Is my mom getting fired? I've never felt this angry towards someone in my life. I don't know what I'm gonna do if my mom loses this job Thanks for taking the time to listen... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushman14 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 that sucks. doesn't sound like your mom did anything malicious. for some reason the kid is being a little bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReRushed Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I can only go by what you wrote and by judging what you wrote your mother, in no way, harassed that kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilCastro Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (Rushman14 @ Oct 24 2011, 08:24 PM) that sucks. doesn't sound like your mom did anything malicious. for some reason the kid is being a little bitch. He seems like a little bitch. I looked up his facebook, and in some of his pictures, he was trying to look badass posing with nerf guns I know there was nothing malicious. what I'm afraid of is that the school probably wants to protect the student more than some cafeteria worker. They are getting 35000 dollars a year from this kid after all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I don't quite know what to make of conducting a phone interview with an employee who has been there for over 15 years, the majority of time spent as a supervisor. Depending on her, and this kids, reputation at the school, this could go either way. I will say this though.... you have options. Don't take this opportunity as a sure fire way of getting into college. Start looking into financial aid and scholarships. Your mom could be in some serious hot water, focus on her and what she is going through. There were witnesses, right? I'm sure this won't amount to much but like I said, look into other options so at least your mom won't feel like she's under pressure to keep her job so you and your brother will be guaranteed of a college education. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 24 2011, 05:30 PM) QUOTE (Rushman14 @ Oct 24 2011, 08:24 PM) that sucks. doesn't sound like your mom did anything malicious. for some reason the kid is being a little bitch. He seems like a little bitch. I looked up his facebook, and in some of his pictures, he was trying to look badass posing with nerf guns I know there was nothing malicious. what I'm afraid of is that the school probably wants to protect the student more than some cafeteria worker. They are getting 35000 dollars a year from this kid after all Questionable. If he weren't there, I'm sure some other kid would be. I would say the school would look more favorably on an employee of 15 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilCastro Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (Janie @ Oct 24 2011, 08:30 PM) I don't quite know what to make of conducting a phone interview with an employee who has been there for over 15 years, the majority of time spent as a supervisor. Depending on her, and this kids, reputation at the school, this could go either way. I will say this though.... you have options. Don't take this opportunity as a sure fire way of getting into college. Start looking into financial aid and scholarships. Your mom could be in some serious hot water, focus on her and what she is going through. There were witnesses, right? I'm sure this won't amount to much but like I said, look into other options so at least your mom won't feel like she's under pressure to keep her job so you and your brother will be guaranteed of a college education. Fortunately my brother has already graduated. I really hope this turns into nothing. I just have this terrible feeling in my stomach right now. So depressing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 24 2011, 05:38 PM) QUOTE (Janie @ Oct 24 2011, 08:30 PM) I don't quite know what to make of conducting a phone interview with an employee who has been there for over 15 years, the majority of time spent as a supervisor. Depending on her, and this kids, reputation at the school, this could go either way. I will say this though.... you have options. Don't take this opportunity as a sure fire way of getting into college. Start looking into financial aid and scholarships. Your mom could be in some serious hot water, focus on her and what she is going through. There were witnesses, right? I'm sure this won't amount to much but like I said, look into other options so at least your mom won't feel like she's under pressure to keep her job so you and your brother will be guaranteed of a college education. Fortunately my brother has already graduated. I really hope this turns into nothing. I just have this terrible feeling in my stomach right now. So depressing... I know that feeling! However, I think you're feeling that anxiety because this recently happened... and, you're the one going through it. As an outsider, I'm looking at this and assuming the school is going to side with your mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 (edited) Phil, your mother should consult with an attorney ASAP. In no way did she harass, assault, or abuse that little punk. Your mother has legal rights, just like the students have rights. Harassment is by legal definition a repetitive, ongoing action that causes someone pain, emotional distress, fear, etc. A one-time action is NOT harassment in any way. IMO, your mother should demand a face-to-face meeting with HR, the student, and his family. If the kid is brave enough to file charges against your mother behind her back, then he should be brave enough to say it to her face. If your mother does lose her job, then she should SUE, SUE, SUE.... Good luck! Edited October 25, 2011 by Workaholic Man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilCastro Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (Workaholic Man @ Oct 24 2011, 09:09 PM) Phil, your mother should consult with an attorney ASAP. In no way did she harass, assault, or abuse that little punk. Your mother has legal rights, just like the students have rights. Harassment is by legal definition an repetitive, ongoing action that causes someone pain, emotional distress, fear, etc. A one-time action is NOT harassment in any way. IMO, your mother should demand a face-to-face meeting with HR, the student, and his family. If the kid is brave enough to file charges against your mother behind her back, then he should be brave enough to say it to her face. If your mother does lose her job, then she should SUE, SUE, SUE.... Good luck! Thanks WR. That's some good advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Let us know what happens Phil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Not Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 If this really passes as harassment and she loses her job, then nearly every teacher I've had should be out of theirs (undeserving still, of course) That's my take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCM Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (Workaholic Man @ Oct 24 2011, 08:09 PM) Phil, your mother should consult with an attorney ASAP. In no way did she harass, assault, or abuse that little punk. Your mother has legal rights, just like the students have rights. Harassment is by legal definition a repetitive, ongoing action that causes someone pain, emotional distress, fear, etc. A one-time action is NOT harassment in any way. IMO, your mother should demand a face-to-face meeting with HR, the student, and his family. If the kid is brave enough to file charges against your mother behind her back, then he should be brave enough to say it to her face. If your mother does lose her job, then she should SUE, SUE, SUE.... Good luck! This is good advice here. Doesn't sound like your mom has done anything resembling harassment. I hope it all goes well for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancient Ways Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (Workaholic Man @ Oct 24 2011, 09:09 PM) Phil, your mother should consult with an attorney ASAP. In no way did she harass, assault, or abuse that little punk. Your mother has legal rights, just like the students have rights. Harassment is by legal definition a repetitive, ongoing action that causes someone pain, emotional distress, fear, etc. A one-time action is NOT harassment in any way. IMO, your mother should demand a face-to-face meeting with HR, the student, and his family. If the kid is brave enough to file charges against your mother behind her back, then he should be brave enough to say it to her face. If your mother does lose her job, then she should SUE, SUE, SUE.... Good luck! it's impossible to say without knowing how they have handled issues like this in the past. Some places may have a zero tolerance policy on issues like this and may terminate based on that. Another thing to consider is state law. I live in a state where there is no "right to work" and you can be fired at any time for any reason not specifically made illegal such as civil rights act, ada, etc... The advice to seek counsel is absolutely correct and hopefully she has not already made statements, either verbal or written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 It seems, if you teach or work at a school nowadays, you cannot touch a kid -- for ANY reason. Doesn't matter if it's a harmless pat or whatever. You touch a kid, you run the risk of getting fired. That's especially unfortunate in a case like this where there was zero intended malice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILSnwdog Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 You're mother did nothing wrong, but the school has to at least appear to be administering some kind of discipline, just in case. I'd take Workaholic Mans advice just to be on the safe side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
go2wrk@95974 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 It sounds to me like this kid was being a real di*k-weed. Your Moms got nothing to worry about...They're gonna rule "not guilty..case dismissed..",imo. Another frivolous maneuver, by some bonehead juvenile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1 of the 7 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I so hope everything's decided in your mom's favor. Fingers crossed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilCastro Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Thanks for the input everyone. I'll let you know what happens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilCastro Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Oct 24 2011, 09:54 PM) It seems, if you teach or work at a school nowadays, you cannot touch a kid -- for ANY reason. Doesn't matter if it's a harmless pat or whatever. You touch a kid, you run the risk of getting fired. That's especially unfortunate in a case like this where there was zero intended malice. This is the part that worries me. That's the first thing i thought when this started to happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HowItIs Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (Workaholic Man @ Oct 24 2011, 06:09 PM) Phil, your mother should consult with an attorney ASAP. In no way did she harass, assault, or abuse that little punk. Your mother has legal rights, just like the students have rights. Harassment is by legal definition a repetitive, ongoing action that causes someone pain, emotional distress, fear, etc. A one-time action is NOT harassment in any way. IMO, your mother should demand a face-to-face meeting with HR, the student, and his family. If the kid is brave enough to file charges against your mother behind her back, then he should be brave enough to say it to her face. If your mother does lose her job, then she should SUE, SUE, SUE.... Good luck! This is excellent advice. And adding what Ancient Ways said about checking into precedent, which is one of the first things an attorney would do. Your Mother did nothing wrong. That kid is an asshat. I hope it all works out for you and her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Slug that piece of crap in his beer gut, then kiss him on the cheek and ask him if that's harassment. Seriously though, sorry to hear about that Phil. Hopefully things will work out for you and your mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H. P. L. Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Coming from a completely different country, but the situation here is so much similar... To me it looks like that spoiled kid just wanted to exort some kind of power over your mum. Maybe he got his pride wounded by your mum's innocent remark. Maybe in his delusion of being bad ass he thinks he will get his way anyway he wants. It's a sad reality that schools will choose stupid but rich pupils over good personnell. Hope everything goes well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gompers Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 She may want to get a good lawyer if things go in an unfortunate direction. This kid's character could use some tweaking and his attitude adjusted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
workingcinderellaman Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 24 2011, 11:43 PM) QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Oct 24 2011, 09:54 PM) It seems, if you teach or work at a school nowadays, you cannot touch a kid -- for ANY reason. Doesn't matter if it's a harmless pat or whatever. You touch a kid, you run the risk of getting fired. That's especially unfortunate in a case like this where there was zero intended malice. This is the part that worries me. That's the first thing i thought when this started to happen That is scary. My feeling is that it will blow over but I can definitely understand your concern. As had been mentioned, your mom's best bet is to talk to an attorney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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