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Colon Cancer


Lorraine
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Lorraine has more grace than I thought possible by one in her situation.

 

But Laura, what choices do you have really?

I didn't ask for this.

I didn't want it.

It's the last thing I ever expected.

 

We'll see what the next few months bring. Then we'll see just how much grace I have. More than anything, if I make it to 12/25, I'll need moral strength. Christmas is already hard the older you get remembering Christmases long gone. Knowing though that this one will be IT may be too much.

 

That's when I will need prayers the most.

I think many of us here are touched by your faith and sense of humor through all of this. You are making the choice to face this with pride and dignity, very admirable in my book. Sending good thoughts to you today :hug2:

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Lorraine has more grace than I thought possible by one in her situation.

 

But Laura, what choices do you have really?

I didn't ask for this.

I didn't want it.

It's the last thing I ever expected.

 

We'll see what the next few months bring. Then we'll see just how much grace I have. More than anything, if I make it to 12/25, I'll need moral strength. Christmas is already hard the older you get remembering Christmases long gone. Knowing though that this one will be IT may be too much.

 

That's when I will need prayers the most.

I think many of us here are touched by your faith and sense of humor through all of this. You are making the choice to face this with pride and dignity, very admirable in my book. Sending good thoughts to you today :hug2:

I definitely am touched by her faith, sense of humor and courage....

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Was told today by one of my guardian angels, who promised to tell me things like this, that I am showing signs of deterioration and progression of the cancer into other parts of the body. .

 

Which is why it takes me so hard to type a line on a typewriter, and my texts are appalling.

This is also why they are gently trying to get me to sell my car because it is not safe for me to drive any longer. I don't take morphine if I am going to the store, but I still do not have the confidence I once had as a driver.

I drive no more than the 5-miles to Mass or to any store in any direction within the same range of miles.

 

I really do wish I could tell you how I feel. I never thought this would happen to me. Ever. Anything but this.

 

So tonight I am going to work on my attitude toward what I have left of my life. I can't mope or sit in a corner. There's not much I can do other than pray. I can't even read anymore because my eyes close. I haven't figured out the why of that yet. Nurse is coming tomorrow, so I will ask her.

 

I can't go for long walks, or even short ones. It's not my gait as much as being dizzy and lack of balance.

 

I'm kind of limited with distractions because I've lost interest in almost everything I was interested in.

 

I'm just rambling on again.

 

I do have envelopes addressed to those here who wanted memorial cards and, if you didn't want to send me that info, I am sending extra to Becky. She can send you one if you want.

 

I'll know when I can't do this anymore. That time hasn't come just yet. :cool:

 

Can't make plans because I know not how I am going to feel. Feeling fine today doesn't mean tomorrow will be grand too (today by the way was awful). Feeling rotten in the morning doesn't mean the whole day is useless.

 

It's an odd disease, but the only thing I ever hear about it is chemo. Cancer and chemo. Cancer and chemo. There's a lot more to cancer than chemo. It's that some one of the dear oncologists ought to write about it.

 

No one will commit to a time, but she really wonders how much longer I have to go because the cancer I have is a fast moving one

Edited by Lorraine
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:hug2:

Was told today by one of my guardian angels, who promised to tell me things like this, that I am showing signs of deterioration and progression of the cancer into other parts of the body. .

 

Which is why it takes me so hard to type a line on a typewriter, and my texts are appalling.

This is also why they are gently trying to get me to sell my car because it is not safe for me to drive any longer. I don't take morphine if I am going to the store, but I still do not have the confidence I once had as a driver.

I drive no more than the 5-miles to Mass or to any store in any direction within the same range of miles.

 

I really do wish I could tell you how I feel. I never thought this would happen to me. Ever. Anything but this.

 

So tonight I am going to work on my attitude toward what I have left of my life. I can't mope or sit in a corner. There's not much I can do other than pray. I can't even read anymore because my eyes close. I haven't figured out the why of that yet. Nurse is coming tomorrow, so I will ask her.

 

I can't go for long walks, or even short ones. It's not my gait as much as being dizzy and lack of balance.

 

I'm kind of limited with distractions because I've lost interest in almost everything I was interested in.

 

I'm just rambling on again.

 

I do have envelopes addressed to those here who wanted memorial cards and, if you didn't want to send me that info, I am sending extra to Becky. She can send you one if you want.

 

I'll know when I can't do this anymore. That time hasn't come just yet. :cool:

 

Can't make plans because I know not how I am going to feel. Feeling fine today doesn't mean tomorrow will be grand too (today by the way was awful). Feeling rotten in the morning doesn't mean the whole day is useless.

 

It's an odd disease, but the only thing I ever hear about it is chemo. Cancer and chemo. Cancer and chemo. There's a lot more to cancer than chemo. It's that some one of the dear oncologists ought to write about it.

 

No one will commit to a time, but she really wonders how much longer I have to go because the cancer I have is a fast moving one

 

:hug2: Hugs to you, as always! I don't think you are rambling, I think you are speaking bravely and sensibly. I really admire the way you have dealt with everything! I saw this today and it reminded me of you-

 

ciTupz3l.jpg

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:hug2:

Was told today by one of my guardian angels, who promised to tell me things like this, that I am showing signs of deterioration and progression of the cancer into other parts of the body. .

 

Which is why it takes me so hard to type a line on a typewriter, and my texts are appalling.

This is also why they are gently trying to get me to sell my car because it is not safe for me to drive any longer. I don't take morphine if I am going to the store, but I still do not have the confidence I once had as a driver.

I drive no more than the 5-miles to Mass or to any store in any direction within the same range of miles.

 

I really do wish I could tell you how I feel. I never thought this would happen to me. Ever. Anything but this.

 

So tonight I am going to work on my attitude toward what I have left of my life. I can't mope or sit in a corner. There's not much I can do other than pray. I can't even read anymore because my eyes close. I haven't figured out the why of that yet. Nurse is coming tomorrow, so I will ask her.

 

I can't go for long walks, or even short ones. It's not my gait as much as being dizzy and lack of balance.

 

I'm kind of limited with distractions because I've lost interest in almost everything I was interested in.

 

I'm just rambling on again.

 

I do have envelopes addressed to those here who wanted memorial cards and, if you didn't want to send me that info, I am sending extra to Becky. She can send you one if you want.

 

I'll know when I can't do this anymore. That time hasn't come just yet. :cool:

 

Can't make plans because I know not how I am going to feel. Feeling fine today doesn't mean tomorrow will be grand too (today by the way was awful). Feeling rotten in the morning doesn't mean the whole day is useless.

 

It's an odd disease, but the only thing I ever hear about it is chemo. Cancer and chemo. Cancer and chemo. There's a lot more to cancer than chemo. It's that some one of the dear oncologists ought to write about it.

 

No one will commit to a time, but she really wonders how much longer I have to go because the cancer I have is a fast moving one

 

:hug2: Hugs to you, as always! I don't think you are rambling, I think you are speaking bravely and sensibly. I really admire the way you have dealt with everything! I saw this today and it reminded me of you-

 

ciTupz3l.jpg

And I will,by the grace of God, try, and try hard, again tomorrow.

 

Today was a pain day and full of annoyances and pullings this way and that way.

 

And I either am losing my taste for cottage cheese or it has become very dry

 

That is a perfect card too. It does take a lot of courage often to face another day.

Edited by Lorraine
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:hug2:

Was told today by one of my guardian angels, who promised to tell me things like this, that I am showing signs of deterioration and progression of the cancer into other parts of the body. .

 

Which is why it takes me so hard to type a line on a typewriter, and my texts are appalling.

This is also why they are gently trying to get me to sell my car because it is not safe for me to drive any longer. I don't take morphine if I am going to the store, but I still do not have the confidence I once had as a driver.

I drive no more than the 5-miles to Mass or to any store in any direction within the same range of miles.

 

I really do wish I could tell you how I feel. I never thought this would happen to me. Ever. Anything but this.

 

So tonight I am going to work on my attitude toward what I have left of my life. I can't mope or sit in a corner. There's not much I can do other than pray. I can't even read anymore because my eyes close. I haven't figured out the why of that yet. Nurse is coming tomorrow, so I will ask her.

 

I can't go for long walks, or even short ones. It's not my gait as much as being dizzy and lack of balance.

 

I'm kind of limited with distractions because I've lost interest in almost everything I was interested in.

 

I'm just rambling on again.

 

I do have envelopes addressed to those here who wanted memorial cards and, if you didn't want to send me that info, I am sending extra to Becky. She can send you one if you want.

 

I'll know when I can't do this anymore. That time hasn't come just yet. :cool:

 

Can't make plans because I know not how I am going to feel. Feeling fine today doesn't mean tomorrow will be grand too (today by the way was awful). Feeling rotten in the morning doesn't mean the whole day is useless.

 

It's an odd disease, but the only thing I ever hear about it is chemo. Cancer and chemo. Cancer and chemo. There's a lot more to cancer than chemo. It's that some one of the dear oncologists ought to write about it.

 

No one will commit to a time, but she really wonders how much longer I have to go because the cancer I have is a fast moving one

 

:hug2: Hugs to you, as always! I don't think you are rambling, I think you are speaking bravely and sensibly. I really admire the way you have dealt with everything! I saw this today and it reminded me of you-

 

ciTupz3l.jpg

Tears....

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1635392715[/url]' post='4961818']

Was told today by one of my guardian angels, who promised to tell me things like this, that I am showing signs of deterioration and progression of the cancer into other parts of the body. .

 

Which is why it takes me so hard to type a line on a typewriter, and my texts are appalling.

This is also why they are gently trying to get me to sell my car because it is not safe for me to drive any longer. I don't take morphine if I am going to the store, but I still do not have the confidence I once had as a driver.

I drive no more than the 5-miles to Mass or to any store in any direction within the same range of miles.

 

I really do wish I could tell you how I feel. I never thought this would happen to me. Ever. Anything but this.

 

So tonight I am going to work on my attitude toward what I have left of my life. I can't mope or sit in a corner. There's not much I can do other than pray. I can't even read anymore because my eyes close. I haven't figured out the why of that yet. Nurse is coming tomorrow, so I will ask her.

 

I can't go for long walks, or even short ones. It's not my gait as much as being dizzy and lack of balance.

 

I'm kind of limited with distractions because I've lost interest in almost everything I was interested in.

 

I'm just rambling on again.

 

I do have envelopes addressed to those here who wanted memorial cards and, if you didn't want to send me that info, I am sending extra to Becky. She can send you one if you want.

 

I'll know when I can't do this anymore. That time hasn't come just yet. :cool:

 

Can't make plans because I know not how I am going to feel. Feeling fine today doesn't mean tomorrow will be grand too (today by the way was awful). Feeling rotten in the morning doesn't mean the whole day is useless.

 

It's an odd disease, but the only thing I ever hear about it is chemo. Cancer and chemo. Cancer and chemo. There's a lot more to cancer than chemo. It's that some one of the dear oncologists ought to write about it.

 

No one will commit to a time, but she really wonders how much longer I have to go because the cancer I have is a fast moving one

 

 

108-D915-D-E75-A-4603-A12-E-25-D121259570.jpg

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Just thought I'd drop by to say that just because I'm not posting here all the time doesn't mean I don't think about you every day.

 

I wish I could pick some platitude that would help but it is what it is....

 

I know that you say you have no choice how you conduct yourself in this situation, but know that I am mightily impressed with your grace and quiet courage in the face of the inevitable.

 

Lets get you that last Christmas you so richly deserve.

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Just thought I'd drop by to say that just because I'm not posting here all the time doesn't mean I don't think about you every day.

 

I wish I could pick some platitude that would help but it is what it is....

 

I know that you say you have no choice how you conduct yourself in this situation, but know that I am mightily impressed with your grace and quiet courage in the face of the inevitable.

 

Lets get you that last Christmas you so richly deserve.

 

Who needs platitudes? I want sincerity.

 

Hospice nurse commented on the bright colors I wore yesterday and I told her it would probably be the last time I'd ever wear the outfit. She started laughing and said, "Are you kidding? You'll wear that again!!" And here I am thinking, "Don't tell me she's going to tell me I have over a year to live." :) and then she says "You have at least to Christmas!"

 

But I decided, again, last night, to make the best of this I can. :madra: :madra: :madra: :madra: :madra:

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Hospice nurse had to come today to give me a suppository due to bloating and no b.m. She says tumor most likely growing on other side which is the cause of the pain and blockage. The pain in bladder area caused by pressure from tumor.

 

Maybe Christmas. I doubt it now.

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Hospice nurse had to come today to give me a suppository due to bloating and no b.m. She says tumor most likely growing on other side which is the cause of the pain and blockage. The pain in bladder area caused by pressure from tumor.

 

Maybe Christmas. I doubt it now.

Prayers as always.

 

And hugs. :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

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I can barely keep eyes open.

 

Have some kind of blockage.

 

 

two nights in a row nurse had to come with suppositories. Tonight didn't help with much but add lots of new bowel pain. Now I have pain on lower left side again.

 

This isn't fun for anyone concerned.

 

Can't even get my mind off of it by reading because I can't read.

Or listening to music because t breaks me apart.

 

Sat home all day. Made myself corn bread with honey. It didn't turn out that bad. Had some cottage cheese to go with.

Klondike Bar for desert

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I can barely keep eyes open.

 

Have some kind of blockage.

 

 

two nights in a row nurse had to come with suppositories. Tonight didn't help with much but add lots of new bowel pain. Now I have pain on lower left side again.

 

This isn't fun for anyone concerned.

 

Can't even get my mind off of it by reading because I can't read.

Or listening to music because t breaks me apart.

 

Sat home all day. Made myself corn bread with honey. It didn't turn out that bad. Had some cottage cheese to go with.

Klondike Bar for desert

:hug2: :hug2: :monalisa:

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I can barely keep eyes open.

 

Have some kind of blockage.

 

 

two nights in a row nurse had to come with suppositories. Tonight didn't help with much but add lots of new bowel pain. Now I have pain on lower left side again.

 

This isn't fun for anyone concerned.

 

Can't even get my mind off of it by reading because I can't read.

Or listening to music because t breaks me apart.

 

Sat home all day. Made myself corn bread with honey. It didn't turn out that bad. Had some cottage cheese to go with.

Klondike Bar for desert

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

 

So sorry to hear this...hope tomorrow goes better!

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I can barely keep eyes open.

 

Have some kind of blockage.

 

 

two nights in a row nurse had to come with suppositories. Tonight didn't help with much but add lots of new bowel pain. Now I have pain on lower left side again.

 

This isn't fun for anyone concerned.

 

Can't even get my mind off of it by reading because I can't read.

Or listening to music because t breaks me apart.

 

Sat home all day. Made myself corn bread with honey. It didn't turn out that bad. Had some cottage cheese to go with.

Klondike Bar for desert

Praying for you, Lorraine. :heart: :hug2: :hug2: :heart:

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Nightly hugs and prayers... :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

 

Hoping you had a peaceful, comfortable day and evening.

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