Colon Cancer

[Lorraine]

For Thanksgiving Eve, extra hugs and prayers...and thank you for letting us get a chance to know you...and for your bravery and tenacity to make the best of a horrible situation.

 

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

 

For the first time today the b.m. looked like they describe rectal cancer stool - coffee grinds. And I had a lot of pain today, but I wasn't going to call my nurse back here.

 

As it is, she had to come over first thing in AM to change the dressing again because I couldn't pull the water protector one away from the one protecting the tubes.

 

She told me in order for her to enjoy Thanksgiving with her family and take good care of her patients at the same tme, she has to get up at 1:00 AM and start her rounds from home to home. Her daughter was going to cook the Thanksgiving meal. The nurse if around my age - maybe a few years younger, but a very devoted soul to her charges.

 

"Till death do we part" she told me when she was assigned to my team.

 

But I am determined not to give in to this. I am going to fight as much as I can.

 

I am going to cook our own Thanksgiving meal tomorrow and do the best I can. A kind soul from my church went to the store for me and bought me all I needed and didn't make me feel like I put her out by doing it.

My husband is finally getting it through his head this is no joke. He seems startled: now what is he going to do? :huh:

I have nothing but admiration for you, cooking your Thanksgiving meal. :angel: :hug2: :heart:

 

Wish we could all come over for a plate - I'd bring the homemade cranberry sauce! Happy Thanksgiving!

Wish you all could too.

 

We'd had have a grand time.

[Lorraine]

For Thanksgiving Eve, extra hugs and prayers...and thank you for letting us get a chance to know you...and for your bravery and tenacity to make the best of a horrible situation.

 

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

 

For the first time today the b.m. looked like they describe rectal cancer stool - coffee grinds. And I had a lot of pain today, but I wasn't going to call my nurse back here.

 

As it is, she had to come over first thing in AM to change the dressing again because I couldn't pull the water protector one away from the one protecting the tubes.

 

She told me in order for her to enjoy Thanksgiving with her family and take good care of her patients at the same tme, she has to get up at 1:00 AM and start her rounds from home to home. Her daughter was going to cook the Thanksgiving meal. The nurse if around my age - maybe a few years younger, but a very devoted soul to her charges.

 

"Till death do we part" she told me when she was assigned to my team.

 

But I am determined not to give in to this. I am going to fight as much as I can.

 

I am going to cook our own Thanksgiving meal tomorrow and do the best I can. A kind soul from my church went to the store for me and bought me all I needed and didn't make me feel like I put her out by doing it.

My husband is finally getting it through his head this is no joke. He seems startled: now what is he going to do? :huh:

I have nothing but admiration for you, cooking your Thanksgiving meal. :angel: :hug2: :heart:

 

It knocked me out, and was made worse by it being in the midst of my two-day-no-steroid experiment to see just how much of a difference the pill made.

 

Well, I'm here to tell you that taking that one little pill in the morning makes a big difference in how I can and can't get anything done in the morning.

 

It's rough now not being able to drive. I could have them take the morphine pump out, but then I'd be taking pills all day long, and pills aren't as effective as the pump.

 

I'll wait a while longer, to be sure, then seriously look into selling the car which should be sold within a week. I'm not out to take advantage of anyone. Just to get the money the car is worth, and used Subaru's in this part of the country are a big seller. A good used one is hard to come by, especially now with winter just starting.

 

My life is a lot more peaceful, and I am becoming more resigned to the inevitable.

[Babycat]

27th - Daily :hug2:

[laughedatbytime]

Nightly hugs and prayers...

 

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

 

Hope you had a tranquil day!

[laughedatbytime]

Thinking of you, friend...hugs and prayers

 

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

[Lorraine]

Nightly hugs and prayers...

 

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

 

Hope you had a tranquil day!

Thinking of you, friend...hugs and prayers

 

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

 

They upped my morphine dosage, and now I can't keep my eyes open. If they lower it, the pain will start again.

 

I think it takes two days for the body to adjust.

 

I don't want to go through another weekend like the one I just had. It was bad.

 

Then I think if I wasn't taking anything for the pain, how bad things would be. What I'm trying to say is that I am in worse shape than I thought, and it is getting worse rapidly.

 

Pray for me - please. My husband isn't head over heals in love with me, but he does, in his own minuscule way, care, and I do see him looking more and more worried. I'm sure it's more selfish than anything else, but still ... At this point in time, he is all I have.

 

And I think my sister would get on a plane and knock the doctor in charge of the hospice out like a light if he gave me a hard time.

 

So I am not in that bad a shape. :eh: :unsure:

 

Yet I am always looking forward to tomorrow and if it will bring any new surprises.

And my heart is full of joy.

I know the whole thing sounds insane, but that is the way it is.

Edited November 30, 2021 by Lorraine

[EagleMoon]

Hugs and prayers sent your way. I think of you every day even though I haven’t been here much. :hug2:

[Sun & Moon]

Prayers and hugs. :heart: :heart: :hug2: :hug2: I'm glad to hear that you are experiencing joy and peace in the middle of all this. They are precious gifts.

[Babycat]

28th Daily :hug2:

 

29th - :hug2:

 

Today - :hug2:

[Fridge]

Yet I am always looking forward to tomorrow and if it will bring any new surprises.

And my heart is full of joy.

I know the whole thing sounds insane, but that is the way it is.

 

It's not insane.

 

Remember a PM exchange we had a little while ago?...you're "wearing the albatross", and doing it rather well if I may say so :-)

[goose]

:hug2:

 

A heart full of joy. That's so beautiful!

[Lorraine]

They can't tell me how much time I have, but they told me they have a room fixed up for me and getting decorated for Christmas

 

These people are started to drive me nuts.

 

So, which is it? Either could live for weeks or almost a year????

 

I wish I could lock myself up in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel tomorrow for hours just to get my brain set straight.

 

All I do here all day is text endlessly to no one who can be of any real help to me. Tomorrow I am putting my phone on DND

 

I can't even find someone to drive me to the store. When the other person who drives here that has cancer found out I was on a morphine pump and could no longer drive. that was the end of my use.

 

And the social worker from hospice asked me today why I don't sell my car back to subaru Probably because they'd give me $10,000 for it and turn around and sell it for $23,000

 

Woe is me.

Edited December 1, 2021 by Lorraine

[blueschica]

They can't tell me how much time I have, but they told me they have a room fixed up for me and getting decorated for Christmas

 

These people are started to drive me nuts.

 

So, which is it? Either could live for weeks or almost a year????

 

I wish I could lock myself up in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel tomorrow for hours just to get my brain set straight.

 

All I do here all day is text endlessly to no one who can be of any real help to me. Tomorrow I am putting my phone on DND

 

I can't even find someone to drive me to the store. When the other person who drives here that has cancer found out I was on a morphine pump and could no longer drive. that was the end of my use.

 

And the social worker from hospice asked me today why I don't sell my car back to subaru Probably because they'd give me $10,000 for it and turn around and sell it for $23,000

 

Woe is me.

 

That sounds so frustrating! I hope tomorrow is better. Can you maybe check with your church? I know ours has retired people that volunteer to drive others to the store, medical appointments, things like that. Maybe they could find someone to coordinate and drive trips for you? :hug2: :hug2:

Edited December 1, 2021 by blueschica

[RUSHHEAD666]

I LOVE YOU LORRAINE! BE STRONG! CAPS ON!

 

I am here! I was gone for a week with Lisa and her girls. Mom and dad too!

 

I will always pray for you!

 

You are in my heart! You are in my mind.

Finding a great friend like you is hard to find!

 

YOU ROCK!

 

I will always support you. PM me whenever you want. I'm home now.

 

RUSH FOREVER!

 

FRIENDS FOREVER!

 

Earl

[Babycat]

:hug2:

[goose]

Reading through, this line from Rod Stewart came to mind...

 

My love for you is immeasurable

My respect for you immense

You're ageless, timeless, lace and fineness

You're beauty and elegance

 

You're in our hearts and in our souls, Lorraine.

[Leanne]

:hug2:

[Lorraine]

They can't tell me how much time I have, but they told me they have a room fixed up for me and getting decorated for Christmas

 

These people are started to drive me nuts.

 

So, which is it? Either could live for weeks or almost a year????

 

I wish I could lock myself up in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel tomorrow for hours just to get my brain set straight.

 

All I do here all day is text endlessly to no one who can be of any real help to me. Tomorrow I am putting my phone on DND

 

I can't even find someone to drive me to the store. When the other person who drives here that has cancer found out I was on a morphine pump and could no longer drive. that was the end of my use.

 

And the social worker from hospice asked me today why I don't sell my car back to subaru Probably because they'd give me $10,000 for it and turn around and sell it for $23,000

 

Woe is me.

 

That sounds so frustrating! I hope tomorrow is better. Can you maybe check with your church? I know ours has retired people that volunteer to drive others to the store, medical appointments, things like that. Maybe they could find someone to coordinate and drive trips for you? :hug2: :hug2:

 

The first place I checked was with my church.

 

There are no medical appointments when you are on Hospice. Hospice isn't there to get you well; it is there to help you die in comfort without pain.

 

All I need is someone to take me to the store once or twice a week. I am not one of those goes down each and every aisle and stops and looks at every single item shopper. I know what I need and want and where it is. I just go, get what I need and leave.

 

The church office is having a hard time getting anyone to help. I'm not the only frustrated senior.

 

It will work out.

 

I hope.

[Lorraine]

But I still can't wait to get up each morning. :)

 

Isn't that strange?

 

Still can't explain that inexplicable joy in my heart.

 

:wub:

Edited December 2, 2021 by Lorraine

[blueschica]

But I still can't wait to get up each morning. :)

 

Isn't that strange?

 

Still can't explain that inexplicable joy in my heart.

 

:wub:

 

That is why we love you here! I'm glad you have that joy. :)

[Bahamas]

There is a volunteer group up here, literally a hospice volunteer organisation.

Besides the church, I would bet you a dime there are services for hospice company, there, not just the walks and talks but putting in driving requests and they will find time?

Your mind is so in-tune (still!), perhaps you are being assumed as being incapable, yet have simple needs that don't fit into the general residents there?

Don't yell at me - I have seen it where people are on a path of decline and get politely ignored when they want more help, but one-in-ten need and want more assistance.

Are you allowed to google? Steal somebodies phone and give it to the lady by the elevator and ask them to do a "volunteer driving" search?

 

The bulletin boards in the common rooms have posts? Poke the next person and demand - what does that say? Grocery delivery?!!

[Babycat]

2nd - Daily :hug2:

 

Today - :hug2:

[laughedatbytime]

Daily hugs and prayers...

 

:hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

 

Hope you had a joy filled day!

[goose]

:hug2:

 

 

[Lorraine]

There is a volunteer group up here, literally a hospice volunteer organisation.

Besides the church, I would bet you a dime there are services for hospice company, there, not just the walks and talks but putting in driving requests and they will find time?

Your mind is so in-tune (still!), perhaps you are being assumed as being incapable, yet have simple needs that don't fit into the general residents there?

Don't yell at me - I have seen it where people are on a path of decline and get politely ignored when they want more help, but one-in-ten need and want more assistance.

Are you allowed to google? Steal somebodies phone and give it to the lady by the elevator and ask them to do a "volunteer driving" search?

 

The bulletin boards in the common rooms have posts? Poke the next person and demand - what does that say? Grocery delivery?!!

I am at home receiving their services. I will only go there the last few weeks of my life o die. Easier to die there than here.