Digital Man Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Who here has ever almost burned down a restaurant? Completely unintentionally, of course. I can't be the only one...can I? Not me, But when I was 9. I burned down the whole back yard. Got my a** Whooped for that. :P Haha! Oh...I mean, ummm...sorry to hear that. Reminds me, I don't know why, of something that happened to a (not very bright) friend of mine, when we were about 13-14 years old...sitting in health class, which was taught by a guy who also taught phys. ed...big, muscular, sports coach; a guy with whom I would not want to tussle in a dark alley. At any rate, he was talking about something, and my very dim friend sat in the front row, and held his first finger up in the air vertically, and started twirling it around in little circles, as if to say, "big deal", you know, something like that...and the teacher says, angrily, "You want to bring that finger up here, and I'll break it for you?!" And so the kid stands up, walks up, with his finger still held up in the air, and the teacher takes his whole hand and starts wrenching it around, and does, in fact, break it. The kid came in the next day with a splint on that first finger that went about half way up his forearm. Teachers used to be able to do those kinds of things when were kids and our parents didn't threaten anyone about it. IT taught you there were consequences to acting like a dumbass to people you should have a bit of respect for. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimsonmistymemory Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I went to the store to get milk, I came home with cheese and lunch meat and forgot the milk. What makes this dorky is I already had cheese and lunch meat in the frig... Duh 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimsonmistymemory Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 (edited) Edit double post what a dork lol Edited June 2, 2015 by Crimsonmistymemory 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I have a few of these...enough that sundog had me add DangerProne as my middle name on facebook, and if you think about that statement you can see I still do some today. There's a really stupid game where one guy shoots an arrow straight up in the air and the 5-6 guys around him try to catch it on the way down...One of the guys in our group was into archery so...how none never got hurt I can not guess. We all had bmx bikes and we would build jumps for them and see who could go the farthest. One day we got the idea for the kids not jumping at the moment to lie down at the back side of the ramp and we'd 3, 4 5 guys there for the other kid to jump over ala Evil Kenevil and the busses. The parents soon saw us and that game ended quickly. I vividly remember the kid in my 3rd grade class who broke both legs trying to emulate Evel Knievel. Except he rode his bike off the roof. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue J Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Who here has ever almost burned down a restaurant? Completely unintentionally, of course. I can't be the only one...can I? Not me, But when I was 9. I burned down the whole back yard. Got my a** Whooped for that. :P Haha! Oh...I mean, ummm...sorry to hear that. Reminds me, I don't know why, of something that happened to a (not very bright) friend of mine, when we were about 13-14 years old...sitting in health class, which was taught by a guy who also taught phys. ed...big, muscular, sports coach; a guy with whom I would not want to tussle in a dark alley. At any rate, he was talking about something, and my very dim friend sat in the front row, and held his first finger up in the air vertically, and started twirling it around in little circles, as if to say, "big deal", you know, something like that...and the teacher says, angrily, "You want to bring that finger up here, and I'll break it for you?!" And so the kid stands up, walks up, with his finger still held up in the air, and the teacher takes his whole hand and starts wrenching it around, and does, in fact, break it. The kid came in the next day with a splint on that first finger that went about half way up his forearm. Teachers used to be able to do those kinds of things when were kids and our parents didn't threaten anyone about it. IT taught you there were consequences to acting like a dumbass to people you should have a bit of respect for. Absolutely, yeah. I knew this kid, he was a friend of mine at the time, and I knew his parents- and I'm sure they blamed him pretty significantly for just doing something stupid and disrespectful in the first place. Yeah, teachers today don't get away with even losing their tempers (emotionally, not to even mention physically) without being threatened with being fired, or prosecuted. It's ridiculous. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleRushmonkey Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 So many things... Almost burned my school down making macaroni cheese with my friend in food tech when we were 11. I don't think that our teacher ever forgave us for that, or the fact that we were laughing about it for about ten minutes afterwards. I never liked macaroni cheese anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 In high school advanced chemistry, we used to end labs by dumping all of the beakers/test tubes/etc. into the garbage can simultaneously to see what sort of fun reactions we might be able to set off. But then the school went and ruined all of the fun by threatening suspension for anyone engaging in attempted chemical warfare. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troutman Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 In high school advanced chemistry, we used to end labs by dumping all of the beakers/test tubes/etc. into the garbage can simultaneously to see what sort of fun reactions we might be able to set off. But then the school went and ruined all of the fun by threatening suspension for anyone engaging in attempted chemical warfare. :( Terrorist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddy Lee Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 This morning at school, I was in 3rd period French and my phone went off. It was some call from Brooklyn. I forgot to silence my phone so my teacher takes it. It gets better. Then it goes off again (since the teacher is too damn old to know how to silence a phone). I get a text from the same guy who upon text appears to be "horny". It gets even better. The teacher actually reads the f*****g text and thinks I am...you know. So, I am sent to the principal. And, thank Christ, he believes the misunderstanding. All because I forgot to silence my phone. And...word eventually gets out. Dork. :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I went to a Windsor hotel to give a lecture and was quite pleased to have arrived just in time for it...only to find out at the front desk that I went to the wrong Windsor!!!!That's got so many levels to it...where does one start? Can you ellaborate?Sure Rod. First off, the rush of adrenaline must have completed made your heart jump out of your chest. Second, how long did you feel bad about it? Must've been kinda bothersome for a while. I know you're thoughtful and respectful of others, it surely bothered you for some time. Did you make up the lecture at a later date? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod in Toronto Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 It was quite a rush, since my boss was going to be at the lecture as well. I got to the right place, which was 6 blocks away from where I first went, and I was sweating like a pig!!! Luckily I was wearing a suit, which helped hide the pools if sweat in my shirt. I had done the same lecture in a different conference a few months ago, so I was reasonably well prepared. The delay was a bummer, but people liked what I presentes - there was an evaluation form at the end, and the grades I got were good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 I went to the store to get milk, I came home with cheese and lunch meat and forgot the milk. What makes this dorky is I already had cheese and lunch meat in the frig... Duh Not long ago, I bought a ton of groceries at the Walmart. When I got home, I noticed that about half my bags were missing. I must have left them at the counter at the store. I zoomed back to the store, but no bags were there. The customer service people actually REFUNDED me for all the items that I had lost. I got back home, and guess what I found? The bags of groceries that I thought were missing. I had placed them in a different spot than usual. :doh: I AM A DORK!! So I went back to Walmart and repaid for the groceries. I may be a dork, but I am a PRINCIPLED DORK......;) ;) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I went to the store to get milk, I came home with cheese and lunch meat and forgot the milk. What makes this dorky is I already had cheese and lunch meat in the frig... Duh Not long ago, I bought a ton of groceries at the Walmart. When I got home, I noticed that about half my bags were missing. I must have left them at the counter at the store. I zoomed back to the store, but no bags were there. The customer service people actually REFUNDED me for all the items that I had lost. I got back home, and guess what I found? The bags of groceries that I thought were missing. I had placed them in a different spot than usual. :doh: I AM A DORK!! So I went back to Walmart and repaid for the groceries. I may be a dork, but I am a PRINCIPLED DORK...... ;) ;)That's ate up man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat 3 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I was riding my mountain bike passed some geese and lead towards them and made "quack, quack, quack" noises at them. Those geese chased me down, wings spread and hissing like they wanted me dead. I was laughing so hard, it was all I could do to get enough speed to peddle away from them. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toymaker Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Stabbed myself in the gut with a tree stump once, but I don't exactly know how I did that. Also raced upstairs and hit my head on a bulkhead and fell backwards down the stairs. That was pretty bloody. Eight stitches. When I was a little stupid kid, I wanted to know what made the numbers glow in a clock radio and . . . maybe I should stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x1yyz Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So I get home from work today, and I'm beat, my body aches......but I force myself into the shower. I load up my hands with soap and start washing my face......hands moving up and down.....and what do I do? Accidentally jam my pinky up my right nostril. I actually drew blood.... :doh: I'm a freaking DORK....... Next?! Anyone? Anyone? I've done that more times than I care to admit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 I was riding my mountain bike passed some geese and lead towards them and made "quack, quack, quack" noises at them. Those geese chased me down, wings spread and hissing like they wanted me dead. I was laughing so hard, it was all I could do to get enough speed to peddle away from them. Hate to see what happens when you ride by a bunch of cows..... ;) ;) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x1yyz Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 The other day I was pulling my left sleeve up with my right hand and used such force that I punched myself, hard, in the jaw. I do a lot of scuba diving. When diving, I always wear a wetsuit. Wetsuits fit snugly. Whenever I put one on without punching myself in the face it is a good day. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleRushmonkey Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 (edited) The other day I was pulling my left sleeve up with my right hand and used such force that I punched myself, hard, in the jaw. I do that with my covers in bed a lot. Also, I was playing rounders a while back, I hit the ball (one of the first times) and the ball whacked me straight in the jaw. :rfl: Edited June 3, 2015 by LittleRushmonkey 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Segue Myles Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 The other day I was pulling my left sleeve up with my right hand and used such force that I punched myself, hard, in the jaw. I do a lot of scuba diving. When diving, I always wear a wetsuit. Wetsuits fit snugly. Whenever I put one on without punching myself in the face it is a good day. I would love to scuba dive, but where I live all there is to see is plastic bags whilst freezing to death! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 How many times have I slipped and fallen/almost fallen off the running boards on my car? More times than I care to admit. I use it as a step to get in and out - you'd think after owning the car for 1.5 years I'd have gotten it figured out..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toymaker Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 (edited) Whadda buncha dorks!! Pleased to be in your company :) Edited June 3, 2015 by toymaker 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x1yyz Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 The other day I was pulling my left sleeve up with my right hand and used such force that I punched myself, hard, in the jaw. I do a lot of scuba diving. When diving, I always wear a wetsuit. Wetsuits fit snugly. Whenever I put one on without punching myself in the face it is a good day. I would love to scuba dive, but where I live all there is to see is plastic bags whilst freezing to death! If you ever have the chance to holiday in a tropical place you can do a "Discover Diving" course where an instructor takes you out for the day. You don't get certified, but it's a great way to experience it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I pulled a Bill DanceDude can fish his ass offhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EilcXPjuEc 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
librarian Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Went to feed the cats outside in the front of the house this morning and nearly threw my coffee across the porch when I realized, "HEY WAIT!!! this cup is waay too light - jeez, its my coffee!!! That would have been unpleasant on several levels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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