The Man Card

[Lerxster]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

Oh for god-dahh-dahh! Damming.

[Maverick]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

[default236]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Realizing you're born on the same day as Oprah Winfrey.

"And you can have my birth date, and you can have my birth date! Everyone can have my birth date!"

Edited May 22, 2013 by default236

[tx_rush]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

[Maverick]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Realizing you're born on the same day as Oprah Winfrey.

"And you can have my birth date, and you can have my birth date! Everyone can have my birth date!"

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/0903/cam_a/Gifs%20IIIIII/Oprahs-Bees.gif

[Maverick]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

 

Wait! Has anyone ever seen LABT and Stedman in the same room at the same time?

[Inthend]

Funny stuff guys.

Was Lmao!

Good thread Sdog.

[laughedatbytime]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

 

Wait! Has anyone ever seen LABT and Stedman in the same room at the same time?

Has anyone ever seen Stedman and Oprah in the same room at the same time (without the paparazzi there)?

[laughedatbytime]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

 

CHICAGO, IL–With nearly three weeks having passed since talk-show host Oprah Winfrey last issued an official command, approximately 60 million Oprah Winfrey Show viewers are on standby, stationed in front of their television sets and patiently awaiting further instructions from their leader.

 

 

Hagerstown, MD, <I>Oprah Winfrey Show </I>viewer and mother of four Liz Kuharski, 34, awaits word from her leader about what to buy, cook and read.

 

"We must be patient with Oprah," said Winfrey fan Melanie Leupke, 44, of Stillwater, OK. "Ours is not to question why she is taking so long. When the time is right and we are needed again, Oprah will tell us what to do."

 

Across the U.S., Oprah viewers' anticipation for new Winfrey directives is reaching a fever pitch. In Winfrey's home base of Chicago, throngs of fans gather outside her Harpo Studios headquarters around the clock, maintaining their silent, faithful vigil. Though the city's streets are quiet, a palpable sense of expectation fills the air.

 

"What book should I read? What low-fat lemon-bread recipes should I use? What made-for-TV movies should I watch to give me a sense of empowerment?" asked Pamela Kolb, a Mundelein, IL, homemaker and one of the approximately 13,000 Oprah viewers huddled outside her studio. "In these complex times, it can be frightening to have to go three weeks without any guidance from a television personality. But we must remain true to Oprah's vision. Our duty is to stay focused and on full alert until new orders are issued."

 

"Oprah will not let us down. I know this much is true," said fan Jamiqua Hudson, clutching a copy of the Wally Lamb best-seller I Know This Much Is True, the latest Oprah's Book Club selection and the last item Oprah fans were commanded to buy before the three-week directive drought began. "She will not leave us to make decisions for ourselves. I have faith in her."

 

Winfrey, 44, ranks among the most successful individuals in entertainment history, with best-selling cookbooks, high-profile movie roles, close friendships with many of Hollywood's biggest power players, and a top-rated daytime talk show. Time magazine recently named her one of the Most Influential People Of The Century. Her greatest influence, however, is that which she holds over her army of nearly 60 million couch-bound women, who unfailingly obey her nationally televised directives on everything from home-decorating to weight-loss.

 

"I follow Oprah's advice to the letter," said viewer Cassandra Fryer of Visalia, CA. "When she told us to help out at our kids' schools by repainting any worn-out jungle-gym equipment, I was there right away with my paint can at the ready. In fact, so many women showed up to paint the jungle gym that the resultant multi-layered sludge, made up of thousands of coats of paint, took over seven months to dry."

 

"I used to wear a lot of teal, but after seeing a recent episode called 'Oprah's Wardrobe Makeovers,' the only colors I wear are muted autumn hues, such as forest green and burgundy," said Liz Kuharski, a Hagerstown, MD, homemaker and mother of four. "I just wish she would issue some more commands for us to obey. If I have to wait much longer, I might find myself inadvertently following the orders of some other talk-show host."

 

During the past few years, Winfrey's power seems to have grown exponentially. All 18 Oprah's Book Club selections have been New York Times best-sellers. When, through the auspices of her charity organization, Oprah's Angel Network, she ordered her followers to contribute pocket change to the World's Largest Piggy Bank for scholarships for needy children, they did so in record numbers. Her May 1998 command to her followers to stop eating ham sandwiches singlehandedly bankrupted the U.S. pork industry.

 

Spokespersons for Harpo Productions said Winfrey well understands the responsibility that comes with such extraordinary power.

 

"Oprah takes her role as a world leader very seriously," Harpo Productions director of public relations Amy Hirsch said in a press release issued from deep within the company's massive network of underground bunkers. "Her commitment to the betterment of her subjects is supreme, and she will allow nothing and no one to stand in the way of such efforts."

 

"Sometimes, I don't know what to do," said Jane Clement, a Cedar Rapids, IA, manicurist. "But, then, Oprah comes on the TV and explains to me what I should be doing, and I feel better."

 

Clement's sentiments are typical of millions of Oprah viewers, who have total faith in their leader. But despite such faith, some experts fear that if the wait for a new edict goes on much longer, serious trouble may arise.

 

"The U.S. daytime-TV audience is a powderkeg waiting to go off," said Prof. Katherine Anne Beatts, director of Harvard University's prestigious Institute For Media Studies. "If this mob continues to be left without direction, it is in danger of fragmenting into thousands of uncontrollable splinter groups, acting without cohesion and creating a state of virtual anarchy. Oprah must avert this crisis scenario by acting now, before it is too late."

 

Added Beatts: "The paucity of leadership in this country should be deeply appalling to any civilized person."

[tx_rush]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

 

CHICAGO, IL–With nearly three weeks having passed since talk-show host Oprah Winfrey last issued an official command, approximately 60 million Oprah Winfrey Show viewers are on standby, stationed in front of their television sets and patiently awaiting further instructions from their leader.

 

 

Hagerstown, MD, <I>Oprah Winfrey Show </I>viewer and mother of four Liz Kuharski, 34, awaits word from her leader about what to buy, cook and read.

 

"We must be patient with Oprah," said Winfrey fan Melanie Leupke, 44, of Stillwater, OK. "Ours is not to question why she is taking so long. When the time is right and we are needed again, Oprah will tell us what to do."

 

Across the U.S., Oprah viewers' anticipation for new Winfrey directives is reaching a fever pitch. In Winfrey's home base of Chicago, throngs of fans gather outside her Harpo Studios headquarters around the clock, maintaining their silent, faithful vigil. Though the city's streets are quiet, a palpable sense of expectation fills the air.

 

"What book should I read? What low-fat lemon-bread recipes should I use? What made-for-TV movies should I watch to give me a sense of empowerment?" asked Pamela Kolb, a Mundelein, IL, homemaker and one of the approximately 13,000 Oprah viewers huddled outside her studio. "In these complex times, it can be frightening to have to go three weeks without any guidance from a television personality. But we must remain true to Oprah's vision. Our duty is to stay focused and on full alert until new orders are issued."

 

"Oprah will not let us down. I know this much is true," said fan Jamiqua Hudson, clutching a copy of the Wally Lamb best-seller I Know This Much Is True, the latest Oprah's Book Club selection and the last item Oprah fans were commanded to buy before the three-week directive drought began. "She will not leave us to make decisions for ourselves. I have faith in her."

 

Winfrey, 44, ranks among the most successful individuals in entertainment history, with best-selling cookbooks, high-profile movie roles, close friendships with many of Hollywood's biggest power players, and a top-rated daytime talk show. Time magazine recently named her one of the Most Influential People Of The Century. Her greatest influence, however, is that which she holds over her army of nearly 60 million couch-bound women, who unfailingly obey her nationally televised directives on everything from home-decorating to weight-loss.

 

"I follow Oprah's advice to the letter," said viewer Cassandra Fryer of Visalia, CA. "When she told us to help out at our kids' schools by repainting any worn-out jungle-gym equipment, I was there right away with my paint can at the ready. In fact, so many women showed up to paint the jungle gym that the resultant multi-layered sludge, made up of thousands of coats of paint, took over seven months to dry."

 

"I used to wear a lot of teal, but after seeing a recent episode called 'Oprah's Wardrobe Makeovers,' the only colors I wear are muted autumn hues, such as forest green and burgundy," said Liz Kuharski, a Hagerstown, MD, homemaker and mother of four. "I just wish she would issue some more commands for us to obey. If I have to wait much longer, I might find myself inadvertently following the orders of some other talk-show host."

 

During the past few years, Winfrey's power seems to have grown exponentially. All 18 Oprah's Book Club selections have been New York Times best-sellers. When, through the auspices of her charity organization, Oprah's Angel Network, she ordered her followers to contribute pocket change to the World's Largest Piggy Bank for scholarships for needy children, they did so in record numbers. Her May 1998 command to her followers to stop eating ham sandwiches singlehandedly bankrupted the U.S. pork industry.

 

Spokespersons for Harpo Productions said Winfrey well understands the responsibility that comes with such extraordinary power.

 

"Oprah takes her role as a world leader very seriously," Harpo Productions director of public relations Amy Hirsch said in a press release issued from deep within the company's massive network of underground bunkers. "Her commitment to the betterment of her subjects is supreme, and she will allow nothing and no one to stand in the way of such efforts."

 

"Sometimes, I don't know what to do," said Jane Clement, a Cedar Rapids, IA, manicurist. "But, then, Oprah comes on the TV and explains to me what I should be doing, and I feel better."

 

Clement's sentiments are typical of millions of Oprah viewers, who have total faith in their leader. But despite such faith, some experts fear that if the wait for a new edict goes on much longer, serious trouble may arise.

 

"The U.S. daytime-TV audience is a powderkeg waiting to go off," said Prof. Katherine Anne Beatts, director of Harvard University's prestigious Institute For Media Studies. "If this mob continues to be left without direction, it is in danger of fragmenting into thousands of uncontrollable splinter groups, acting without cohesion and creating a state of virtual anarchy. Oprah must avert this crisis scenario by acting now, before it is too late."

 

Added Beatts: "The paucity of leadership in this country should be deeply appalling to any civilized person."

 

I made a deal with my wife shortly before we got married. I would never watch porn if she would never watch oprah

[laughedatbytime]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

 

CHICAGO, IL–With nearly three weeks having passed since talk-show host Oprah Winfrey last issued an official command, approximately 60 million Oprah Winfrey Show viewers are on standby, stationed in front of their television sets and patiently awaiting further instructions from their leader.

 

 

Hagerstown, MD, <I>Oprah Winfrey Show </I>viewer and mother of four Liz Kuharski, 34, awaits word from her leader about what to buy, cook and read.

 

"We must be patient with Oprah," said Winfrey fan Melanie Leupke, 44, of Stillwater, OK. "Ours is not to question why she is taking so long. When the time is right and we are needed again, Oprah will tell us what to do."

 

Across the U.S., Oprah viewers' anticipation for new Winfrey directives is reaching a fever pitch. In Winfrey's home base of Chicago, throngs of fans gather outside her Harpo Studios headquarters around the clock, maintaining their silent, faithful vigil. Though the city's streets are quiet, a palpable sense of expectation fills the air.

 

"What book should I read? What low-fat lemon-bread recipes should I use? What made-for-TV movies should I watch to give me a sense of empowerment?" asked Pamela Kolb, a Mundelein, IL, homemaker and one of the approximately 13,000 Oprah viewers huddled outside her studio. "In these complex times, it can be frightening to have to go three weeks without any guidance from a television personality. But we must remain true to Oprah's vision. Our duty is to stay focused and on full alert until new orders are issued."

 

"Oprah will not let us down. I know this much is true," said fan Jamiqua Hudson, clutching a copy of the Wally Lamb best-seller I Know This Much Is True, the latest Oprah's Book Club selection and the last item Oprah fans were commanded to buy before the three-week directive drought began. "She will not leave us to make decisions for ourselves. I have faith in her."

 

Winfrey, 44, ranks among the most successful individuals in entertainment history, with best-selling cookbooks, high-profile movie roles, close friendships with many of Hollywood's biggest power players, and a top-rated daytime talk show. Time magazine recently named her one of the Most Influential People Of The Century. Her greatest influence, however, is that which she holds over her army of nearly 60 million couch-bound women, who unfailingly obey her nationally televised directives on everything from home-decorating to weight-loss.

 

"I follow Oprah's advice to the letter," said viewer Cassandra Fryer of Visalia, CA. "When she told us to help out at our kids' schools by repainting any worn-out jungle-gym equipment, I was there right away with my paint can at the ready. In fact, so many women showed up to paint the jungle gym that the resultant multi-layered sludge, made up of thousands of coats of paint, took over seven months to dry."

 

"I used to wear a lot of teal, but after seeing a recent episode called 'Oprah's Wardrobe Makeovers,' the only colors I wear are muted autumn hues, such as forest green and burgundy," said Liz Kuharski, a Hagerstown, MD, homemaker and mother of four. "I just wish she would issue some more commands for us to obey. If I have to wait much longer, I might find myself inadvertently following the orders of some other talk-show host."

 

During the past few years, Winfrey's power seems to have grown exponentially. All 18 Oprah's Book Club selections have been New York Times best-sellers. When, through the auspices of her charity organization, Oprah's Angel Network, she ordered her followers to contribute pocket change to the World's Largest Piggy Bank for scholarships for needy children, they did so in record numbers. Her May 1998 command to her followers to stop eating ham sandwiches singlehandedly bankrupted the U.S. pork industry.

 

Spokespersons for Harpo Productions said Winfrey well understands the responsibility that comes with such extraordinary power.

 

"Oprah takes her role as a world leader very seriously," Harpo Productions director of public relations Amy Hirsch said in a press release issued from deep within the company's massive network of underground bunkers. "Her commitment to the betterment of her subjects is supreme, and she will allow nothing and no one to stand in the way of such efforts."

 

"Sometimes, I don't know what to do," said Jane Clement, a Cedar Rapids, IA, manicurist. "But, then, Oprah comes on the TV and explains to me what I should be doing, and I feel better."

 

Clement's sentiments are typical of millions of Oprah viewers, who have total faith in their leader. But despite such faith, some experts fear that if the wait for a new edict goes on much longer, serious trouble may arise.

 

"The U.S. daytime-TV audience is a powderkeg waiting to go off," said Prof. Katherine Anne Beatts, director of Harvard University's prestigious Institute For Media Studies. "If this mob continues to be left without direction, it is in danger of fragmenting into thousands of uncontrollable splinter groups, acting without cohesion and creating a state of virtual anarchy. Oprah must avert this crisis scenario by acting now, before it is too late."

 

Added Beatts: "The paucity of leadership in this country should be deeply appalling to any civilized person."

 

I made a deal with my wife shortly before we got married. I would never watch porn if she would never watch oprah

Not sure I would have gone THAT far... ;)

[JohnnyBlaze]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

 

CHICAGO, IL–With nearly three weeks having passed since talk-show host Oprah Winfrey last issued an official command, approximately 60 million Oprah Winfrey Show viewers are on standby, stationed in front of their television sets and patiently awaiting further instructions from their leader.

 

 

Hagerstown, MD, <I>Oprah Winfrey Show </I>viewer and mother of four Liz Kuharski, 34, awaits word from her leader about what to buy, cook and read.

 

"We must be patient with Oprah," said Winfrey fan Melanie Leupke, 44, of Stillwater, OK. "Ours is not to question why she is taking so long. When the time is right and we are needed again, Oprah will tell us what to do."

 

Across the U.S., Oprah viewers' anticipation for new Winfrey directives is reaching a fever pitch. In Winfrey's home base of Chicago, throngs of fans gather outside her Harpo Studios headquarters around the clock, maintaining their silent, faithful vigil. Though the city's streets are quiet, a palpable sense of expectation fills the air.

 

"What book should I read? What low-fat lemon-bread recipes should I use? What made-for-TV movies should I watch to give me a sense of empowerment?" asked Pamela Kolb, a Mundelein, IL, homemaker and one of the approximately 13,000 Oprah viewers huddled outside her studio. "In these complex times, it can be frightening to have to go three weeks without any guidance from a television personality. But we must remain true to Oprah's vision. Our duty is to stay focused and on full alert until new orders are issued."

 

"Oprah will not let us down. I know this much is true," said fan Jamiqua Hudson, clutching a copy of the Wally Lamb best-seller I Know This Much Is True, the latest Oprah's Book Club selection and the last item Oprah fans were commanded to buy before the three-week directive drought began. "She will not leave us to make decisions for ourselves. I have faith in her."

 

Winfrey, 44, ranks among the most successful individuals in entertainment history, with best-selling cookbooks, high-profile movie roles, close friendships with many of Hollywood's biggest power players, and a top-rated daytime talk show. Time magazine recently named her one of the Most Influential People Of The Century. Her greatest influence, however, is that which she holds over her army of nearly 60 million couch-bound women, who unfailingly obey her nationally televised directives on everything from home-decorating to weight-loss.

 

"I follow Oprah's advice to the letter," said viewer Cassandra Fryer of Visalia, CA. "When she told us to help out at our kids' schools by repainting any worn-out jungle-gym equipment, I was there right away with my paint can at the ready. In fact, so many women showed up to paint the jungle gym that the resultant multi-layered sludge, made up of thousands of coats of paint, took over seven months to dry."

 

"I used to wear a lot of teal, but after seeing a recent episode called 'Oprah's Wardrobe Makeovers,' the only colors I wear are muted autumn hues, such as forest green and burgundy," said Liz Kuharski, a Hagerstown, MD, homemaker and mother of four. "I just wish she would issue some more commands for us to obey. If I have to wait much longer, I might find myself inadvertently following the orders of some other talk-show host."

 

During the past few years, Winfrey's power seems to have grown exponentially. All 18 Oprah's Book Club selections have been New York Times best-sellers. When, through the auspices of her charity organization, Oprah's Angel Network, she ordered her followers to contribute pocket change to the World's Largest Piggy Bank for scholarships for needy children, they did so in record numbers. Her May 1998 command to her followers to stop eating ham sandwiches singlehandedly bankrupted the U.S. pork industry.

 

Spokespersons for Harpo Productions said Winfrey well understands the responsibility that comes with such extraordinary power.

 

"Oprah takes her role as a world leader very seriously," Harpo Productions director of public relations Amy Hirsch said in a press release issued from deep within the company's massive network of underground bunkers. "Her commitment to the betterment of her subjects is supreme, and she will allow nothing and no one to stand in the way of such efforts."

 

"Sometimes, I don't know what to do," said Jane Clement, a Cedar Rapids, IA, manicurist. "But, then, Oprah comes on the TV and explains to me what I should be doing, and I feel better."

 

Clement's sentiments are typical of millions of Oprah viewers, who have total faith in their leader. But despite such faith, some experts fear that if the wait for a new edict goes on much longer, serious trouble may arise.

 

"The U.S. daytime-TV audience is a powderkeg waiting to go off," said Prof. Katherine Anne Beatts, director of Harvard University's prestigious Institute For Media Studies. "If this mob continues to be left without direction, it is in danger of fragmenting into thousands of uncontrollable splinter groups, acting without cohesion and creating a state of virtual anarchy. Oprah must avert this crisis scenario by acting now, before it is too late."

 

Added Beatts: "The paucity of leadership in this country should be deeply appalling to any civilized person."

 

I made a deal with my wife shortly before we got married. I would never watch porn if she would never watch oprah

man, you REALLY hate Oprah

[Mara]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

 

CHICAGO, IL–With nearly three weeks having passed since talk-show host Oprah Winfrey last issued an official command, approximately 60 million Oprah Winfrey Show viewers are on standby, stationed in front of their television sets and patiently awaiting further instructions from their leader.

 

 

Hagerstown, MD, <I>Oprah Winfrey Show </I>viewer and mother of four Liz Kuharski, 34, awaits word from her leader about what to buy, cook and read.

 

"We must be patient with Oprah," said Winfrey fan Melanie Leupke, 44, of Stillwater, OK. "Ours is not to question why she is taking so long. When the time is right and we are needed again, Oprah will tell us what to do."

 

Across the U.S., Oprah viewers' anticipation for new Winfrey directives is reaching a fever pitch. In Winfrey's home base of Chicago, throngs of fans gather outside her Harpo Studios headquarters around the clock, maintaining their silent, faithful vigil. Though the city's streets are quiet, a palpable sense of expectation fills the air.

 

"What book should I read? What low-fat lemon-bread recipes should I use? What made-for-TV movies should I watch to give me a sense of empowerment?" asked Pamela Kolb, a Mundelein, IL, homemaker and one of the approximately 13,000 Oprah viewers huddled outside her studio. "In these complex times, it can be frightening to have to go three weeks without any guidance from a television personality. But we must remain true to Oprah's vision. Our duty is to stay focused and on full alert until new orders are issued."

 

"Oprah will not let us down. I know this much is true," said fan Jamiqua Hudson, clutching a copy of the Wally Lamb best-seller I Know This Much Is True, the latest Oprah's Book Club selection and the last item Oprah fans were commanded to buy before the three-week directive drought began. "She will not leave us to make decisions for ourselves. I have faith in her."

 

Winfrey, 44, ranks among the most successful individuals in entertainment history, with best-selling cookbooks, high-profile movie roles, close friendships with many of Hollywood's biggest power players, and a top-rated daytime talk show. Time magazine recently named her one of the Most Influential People Of The Century. Her greatest influence, however, is that which she holds over her army of nearly 60 million couch-bound women, who unfailingly obey her nationally televised directives on everything from home-decorating to weight-loss.

 

"I follow Oprah's advice to the letter," said viewer Cassandra Fryer of Visalia, CA. "When she told us to help out at our kids' schools by repainting any worn-out jungle-gym equipment, I was there right away with my paint can at the ready. In fact, so many women showed up to paint the jungle gym that the resultant multi-layered sludge, made up of thousands of coats of paint, took over seven months to dry."

 

"I used to wear a lot of teal, but after seeing a recent episode called 'Oprah's Wardrobe Makeovers,' the only colors I wear are muted autumn hues, such as forest green and burgundy," said Liz Kuharski, a Hagerstown, MD, homemaker and mother of four. "I just wish she would issue some more commands for us to obey. If I have to wait much longer, I might find myself inadvertently following the orders of some other talk-show host."

 

During the past few years, Winfrey's power seems to have grown exponentially. All 18 Oprah's Book Club selections have been New York Times best-sellers. When, through the auspices of her charity organization, Oprah's Angel Network, she ordered her followers to contribute pocket change to the World's Largest Piggy Bank for scholarships for needy children, they did so in record numbers. Her May 1998 command to her followers to stop eating ham sandwiches singlehandedly bankrupted the U.S. pork industry.

 

Spokespersons for Harpo Productions said Winfrey well understands the responsibility that comes with such extraordinary power.

 

"Oprah takes her role as a world leader very seriously," Harpo Productions director of public relations Amy Hirsch said in a press release issued from deep within the company's massive network of underground bunkers. "Her commitment to the betterment of her subjects is supreme, and she will allow nothing and no one to stand in the way of such efforts."

 

"Sometimes, I don't know what to do," said Jane Clement, a Cedar Rapids, IA, manicurist. "But, then, Oprah comes on the TV and explains to me what I should be doing, and I feel better."

 

Clement's sentiments are typical of millions of Oprah viewers, who have total faith in their leader. But despite such faith, some experts fear that if the wait for a new edict goes on much longer, serious trouble may arise.

 

"The U.S. daytime-TV audience is a powderkeg waiting to go off," said Prof. Katherine Anne Beatts, director of Harvard University's prestigious Institute For Media Studies. "If this mob continues to be left without direction, it is in danger of fragmenting into thousands of uncontrollable splinter groups, acting without cohesion and creating a state of virtual anarchy. Oprah must avert this crisis scenario by acting now, before it is too late."

 

Added Beatts: "The paucity of leadership in this country should be deeply appalling to any civilized person."

 

I made a deal with my wife shortly before we got married. I would never watch porn if she would never watch oprah

man, you REALLY hate Oprah

 

You'd have given that up for no reason at all if you'd married me. I hate Oprah.

[Maverick]

Watching Oprah or anyone who came to fame because of her.

 

I hate to admit this, but I have to share it. I saw the show where Oprah "These are a few of my favorite things" where she gives everyone in her audience that day a shit load of some pretty awesome gifts. Anyway, the last thing she gave away was the new Volkswagen Beetle that came out a couple of years ago. Volkswagen hadn't unveiled the car yet, and all they showed was its silhouette. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I am at a gas station buying some sodas. As I am leaving, there is a young woman (mid 20's probably) gassing up a red Beetle. I catch a glimpse of her license plate, and it says "TX OPRAH" on it. So I'm wondering is it "Tax Oprah" or "Texas Oprah" when I realize it is "Thanks Oprah." Then it hits me, that was one of the cars given away. So I pull up next to the car and ask the girl if she was in the audience that day. She wasn't, but her mom was.

 

How damning is this?

Damned damning.

 

By the way, I hate when people say that Oprah gave the car away. No, Oprah convinced some local car dealer to give them away. Oprah is out nothing.

 

U mad, bro?

 

LABT also seems to know far too much about oprah and volkswagon beetles.....probably a closet oprah fan

 

CHICAGO, IL–With nearly three weeks having passed since talk-show host Oprah Winfrey last issued an official command, approximately 60 million Oprah Winfrey Show viewers are on standby, stationed in front of their television sets and patiently awaiting further instructions from their leader.

 

 

Hagerstown, MD, <I>Oprah Winfrey Show </I>viewer and mother of four Liz Kuharski, 34, awaits word from her leader about what to buy, cook and read.

 

"We must be patient with Oprah," said Winfrey fan Melanie Leupke, 44, of Stillwater, OK. "Ours is not to question why she is taking so long. When the time is right and we are needed again, Oprah will tell us what to do."

 

Across the U.S., Oprah viewers' anticipation for new Winfrey directives is reaching a fever pitch. In Winfrey's home base of Chicago, throngs of fans gather outside her Harpo Studios headquarters around the clock, maintaining their silent, faithful vigil. Though the city's streets are quiet, a palpable sense of expectation fills the air.

 

"What book should I read? What low-fat lemon-bread recipes should I use? What made-for-TV movies should I watch to give me a sense of empowerment?" asked Pamela Kolb, a Mundelein, IL, homemaker and one of the approximately 13,000 Oprah viewers huddled outside her studio. "In these complex times, it can be frightening to have to go three weeks without any guidance from a television personality. But we must remain true to Oprah's vision. Our duty is to stay focused and on full alert until new orders are issued."

 

"Oprah will not let us down. I know this much is true," said fan Jamiqua Hudson, clutching a copy of the Wally Lamb best-seller I Know This Much Is True, the latest Oprah's Book Club selection and the last item Oprah fans were commanded to buy before the three-week directive drought began. "She will not leave us to make decisions for ourselves. I have faith in her."

 

Winfrey, 44, ranks among the most successful individuals in entertainment history, with best-selling cookbooks, high-profile movie roles, close friendships with many of Hollywood's biggest power players, and a top-rated daytime talk show. Time magazine recently named her one of the Most Influential People Of The Century. Her greatest influence, however, is that which she holds over her army of nearly 60 million couch-bound women, who unfailingly obey her nationally televised directives on everything from home-decorating to weight-loss.

 

"I follow Oprah's advice to the letter," said viewer Cassandra Fryer of Visalia, CA. "When she told us to help out at our kids' schools by repainting any worn-out jungle-gym equipment, I was there right away with my paint can at the ready. In fact, so many women showed up to paint the jungle gym that the resultant multi-layered sludge, made up of thousands of coats of paint, took over seven months to dry."

 

"I used to wear a lot of teal, but after seeing a recent episode called 'Oprah's Wardrobe Makeovers,' the only colors I wear are muted autumn hues, such as forest green and burgundy," said Liz Kuharski, a Hagerstown, MD, homemaker and mother of four. "I just wish she would issue some more commands for us to obey. If I have to wait much longer, I might find myself inadvertently following the orders of some other talk-show host."

 

During the past few years, Winfrey's power seems to have grown exponentially. All 18 Oprah's Book Club selections have been New York Times best-sellers. When, through the auspices of her charity organization, Oprah's Angel Network, she ordered her followers to contribute pocket change to the World's Largest Piggy Bank for scholarships for needy children, they did so in record numbers. Her May 1998 command to her followers to stop eating ham sandwiches singlehandedly bankrupted the U.S. pork industry.

 

Spokespersons for Harpo Productions said Winfrey well understands the responsibility that comes with such extraordinary power.

 

"Oprah takes her role as a world leader very seriously," Harpo Productions director of public relations Amy Hirsch said in a press release issued from deep within the company's massive network of underground bunkers. "Her commitment to the betterment of her subjects is supreme, and she will allow nothing and no one to stand in the way of such efforts."

 

"Sometimes, I don't know what to do," said Jane Clement, a Cedar Rapids, IA, manicurist. "But, then, Oprah comes on the TV and explains to me what I should be doing, and I feel better."

 

Clement's sentiments are typical of millions of Oprah viewers, who have total faith in their leader. But despite such faith, some experts fear that if the wait for a new edict goes on much longer, serious trouble may arise.

 

"The U.S. daytime-TV audience is a powderkeg waiting to go off," said Prof. Katherine Anne Beatts, director of Harvard University's prestigious Institute For Media Studies. "If this mob continues to be left without direction, it is in danger of fragmenting into thousands of uncontrollable splinter groups, acting without cohesion and creating a state of virtual anarchy. Oprah must avert this crisis scenario by acting now, before it is too late."

 

Added Beatts: "The paucity of leadership in this country should be deeply appalling to any civilized person."

 

I made a deal with my wife shortly before we got married. I would never watch porn if she would never watch oprah

 

You lost.

[ILSnwdog]

exfoliating...as far as I know...dead skin will fall off all by itself.

 

How about back waxing? I'm fortunate that my DH doesn't have a hairy back. But I wouldn't hold it against the Yetis out there if they wanted to defoliate their backs.

 

Funny story - my husband used to have a roommate named Cliff. Cliff was without question the hairiest individual I or anyone I know has ever encountered. Once at a pool party someone asked, "hey, who threw the bathmat in the pool?" - it was Cliff floating about. Cliff was a good sport about his hairiness, though.

 

One morning I picked up DH (we were dating then) to head to a road race. It was still dark out. As I was pulling into the driveway, I saw their newspaper rise up off the sidewalk and go floating into the front door, all by itself! (Not really, of course - Cliff was so hirsute you couldn't see him in the dark).

 

The only place I remove hair from is my face and neck. I'm a Yeti and proud of it! :madra:

 

I assume, then, that you'll have to rent a hedge trimmer for your ears and nose someday? :laughing guy:

I use a weed wacker. :)

[ILSnwdog]

Quoting Sex In The City.

 

Hey! There were some good lines in those shows, and in both movies! God, I hope they make a third!

 

Oops...

 

/hands card over to ILS.

 

You can have it back after watching three dirty harry movies and drinking an oil can of Fosters. :)

[Maverick]

Quoting Sex In The City.

 

Hey! There were some good lines in those shows, and in both movies! God, I hope they make a third!

 

Oops...

 

/hands card over to ILS.

 

You can have it back after watching three dirty harry movies and drinking an oil can of Fosters. :)

 

Ahh! Sweet redemption!

[drbirdsong]

Judging another man on his man-ness means you are wasting time by not working on your own man-ness. All you bitches lose.

[Principled Man]

exfoliating...as far as I know...dead skin will fall off all by itself.

 

How about back waxing? I'm fortunate that my DH doesn't have a hairy back. But I wouldn't hold it against the Yetis out there if they wanted to defoliate their backs.

 

Funny story - my husband used to have a roommate named Cliff. Cliff was without question the hairiest individual I or anyone I know has ever encountered. Once at a pool party someone asked, "hey, who threw the bathmat in the pool?" - it was Cliff floating about. Cliff was a good sport about his hairiness, though.

 

One morning I picked up DH (we were dating then) to head to a road race. It was still dark out. As I was pulling into the driveway, I saw their newspaper rise up off the sidewalk and go floating into the front door, all by itself! (Not really, of course - Cliff was so hirsute you couldn't see him in the dark).

 

The only place I remove hair from is my face and neck. I'm a Yeti and proud of it! :madra:

 

I assume, then, that you'll have to rent a hedge trimmer for your ears and nose someday? :laughing guy:

I use a weed wacker. :)

 

Gas motor, I hope. None of them sissy electric ones......

[Lost In Xanadu]

Getting into a slap fight

[ILSnwdog]

Getting into a slap fight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0ABi4cYB28

Here is the best slap fight ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvxfXgFtiLU

[priest_of_syrinx]

Proclaiming your love for My Little Pony.

You're probably right.

[Mara]

exfoliating...as far as I know...dead skin will fall off all by itself.

 

How about back waxing? I'm fortunate that my DH doesn't have a hairy back. But I wouldn't hold it against the Yetis out there if they wanted to defoliate their backs.

 

Funny story - my husband used to have a roommate named Cliff. Cliff was without question the hairiest individual I or anyone I know has ever encountered. Once at a pool party someone asked, "hey, who threw the bathmat in the pool?" - it was Cliff floating about. Cliff was a good sport about his hairiness, though.

 

One morning I picked up DH (we were dating then) to head to a road race. It was still dark out. As I was pulling into the driveway, I saw their newspaper rise up off the sidewalk and go floating into the front door, all by itself! (Not really, of course - Cliff was so hirsute you couldn't see him in the dark).

 

The only place I remove hair from is my face and neck. I'm a Yeti and proud of it! :madra:

 

I assume, then, that you'll have to rent a hedge trimmer for your ears and nose someday? :laughing guy:

I use a weed wacker. :)

 

You puss. Real men use a match and an aerosol can.

[librarian]

Proclaiming your love for My Little Pony.

 

This, this, a thousand times this.

 

You will never convince me that there is not something extremely disturbing about grown-ass men getting all "squeeeeeee" over cartoon characters meant for 3-8 year old girls. Never.

 

:LMAO:

[Lerxster]

exfoliating...as far as I know...dead skin will fall off all by itself.

 

How about back waxing? I'm fortunate that my DH doesn't have a hairy back. But I wouldn't hold it against the Yetis out there if they wanted to defoliate their backs.

 

Funny story - my husband used to have a roommate named Cliff. Cliff was without question the hairiest individual I or anyone I know has ever encountered. Once at a pool party someone asked, "hey, who threw the bathmat in the pool?" - it was Cliff floating about. Cliff was a good sport about his hairiness, though.

 

One morning I picked up DH (we were dating then) to head to a road race. It was still dark out. As I was pulling into the driveway, I saw their newspaper rise up off the sidewalk and go floating into the front door, all by itself! (Not really, of course - Cliff was so hirsute you couldn't see him in the dark).

 

The only place I remove hair from is my face and neck. I'm a Yeti and proud of it! :madra:

 

I assume, then, that you'll have to rent a hedge trimmer for your ears and nose someday? :laughing guy:

I use a weed wacker. :)

 

You puss. Real men use a match and an aerosol can.

:o that's slightly dangerous. Personally, I install a brad-point bit in my Skil, just shove it in my ear and up my nose and turn 'er on. Rips the hair right out. I admit it's wimpier than a wacker.

 

:|

 

I'll turn in my man card now.