blackhawkrush Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 2 hours ago, Principled Man said: Your wife is Italian, too? Yes, center forward for Juventus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Patient: I have these dreams where women come towards me, and I keep pushing them away. Doctor: What do you want me to do? Patient: Break my arms. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 2 Author Share Posted March 2 (edited) Ma chews a lot of Doublemint gum. We can't find the larger packs in stores anymore, so went online. We sure struck the mother lode, didn't we? Edited March 5 by Principled Man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 I've always been unlucky, even as a child. I had a rocking horse and it died. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 Yoda: Padawan, inside the taun-taun, how warm was it? Luke: I do not know, Master. Yoda: LUKEWARM, it was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 5 Author Share Posted March 5 I made a whopping seven figures last year! I was also fired from the toy factory for being too slow. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted March 8 Share Posted March 8 My wife said to me, 'You'll drive me to my grave'. I had the car out in two minutes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted March 8 Share Posted March 8 Do you want a good laugh? Do this tomorrow. Go to an antique shop and ask, 'What's new?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 9 Author Share Posted March 9 Told a great joke to a bunch of my co-workers. They were amazed! It was so good, the HR Lady has now invited me over to tell it to her! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 My wife was looking through a fashion magazine. Saw a fur coat, said 'I want that'. So I cut it out for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Not Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 A man in France tried to rob a bank using underwear as a mask, the cops put him in jail right after a quick debriefing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Not Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 I can't stand stuck-up bodies of water. It's like, 'Get over yourself, Lake Superior'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 Dumb Xer/Xennial joke: Which fruit has the longest aftertaste? Cranberries, because they have to let it linger on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 10 Author Share Posted March 10 2 hours ago, invisible airwave said: Dumb Xer/Xennial joke: Which fruit has the longest aftertaste? Cranberries, because they have to let it linger on. Not bad. I chuckled. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 A caveman tells another caveman a joke. "U hu gu agh ug". The other says, "I heard it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 Cats have proven beyond any doubt that the Earth is not flat. If the Earth were flat, cats would have knocked everything off the Earth by now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhyta Posted March 12 Share Posted March 12 1 hour ago, Principled Man said: Cats have proven beyond any doubt that the Earth is not flat. If the Earth were flat, cats would have knocked everything off the Earth by now. Absolutely! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 2 hours ago, Principled Man said: Cats have proven beyond any doubt that the Earth is not flat. If the Earth were flat, cats would have knocked everything off the Earth by now. 1 hour ago, Rhyta said: Absolutely! You can see it in their eyes. You place something - like a beverage - on a table or shelf, and their eyes say, “Oh, yes. Thank you! It’s all mine….” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 13 Author Share Posted March 13 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 What is Jessica Rabbit's maiden name? Jessica Human. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BastillePark Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 Which country is filled with very bad singers? Singapore. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 Magician: Here's a little trick I picked up. I don't know who dropped it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 I've got a one-man-dog. He only bites me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Principled Man Posted March 19 Author Share Posted March 19 My bank's website required me to make a new password - 8 characters long. So I typed in "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves". The website crashed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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