Freddy Lee Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Sex is like a misdameanor, the more I miss it, the meaner I get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddy Lee Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Three words to ruin a man's ego: "Is it in"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddy Lee Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Have you noticed that more and more women are having their navel's pierced? That's because its a handy place to hang the air freshener. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimsonmistymemory Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Batman sees Superman at the Hall Of Justice looking a little weird.Batman- Hey Superman why so down?Superman- I don' want to talk about it.Batman- Look man it's ok I wont tell any other of the superfriends you can trust me.Superman- well ok I was flying over Metropolis yesterday and when I flew over the Daily planet I happen to look down and see Wonder Woman sunbathing completely nude and spread eagle.Batman- Really what did you do?Superman- well I figured no one was watching and I would swoop down and get me some.Batman- haha I bet she was suprised!Superman- No but the invisible man was! Tadum :LMAO: 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vital signz Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 My friend came into work yesterday with the worst hang overI said man you look like you had a rough nightHe said "I got so wasted last night when I got home I blew chunks"I said oh you got real sick?He said "No you don't understand Chunks is my dog"!! TaDum :laughing guy: Jesus Christ this made me split my side open....... :laughing guy: :laughing guy: :laughing guy: :laughing guy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormtron Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 What's brown and sticky? A stick. Sorry, I'll leave now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimsonmistymemory Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 A very big man walks into a bar on a very crowded Friday night,after pacing up & down the bar svereral times he cleares a spot in the middlehe calls to the barkeep to bring him a pitcher of beerbarkeep brings pitcher and a glassbig man asks,did I ask for a f**king glass? and in less than 2 seconds chugs the pitcher downhe burps as he looks to his left and saysall you down ther are mother f**kers who wants to fight me?after a long silence no one answersBig man orders another pitcher and chugs it down like the 1stburps and looks to he right and saysall you down there are cock suckers who wants to fight me?after a long silence the littlest scrawny guy in the whole place gets off his bar stool and walks towards big manbig man sees the little man heading his way and shoutsYOU WANT TO FIGHT ME?the little guy stops in his tracks and saysNo sir! I just realized I was on the wrong side TaDum :LMAO: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 The thread title says "very vulgar content" and three pages in, i'm still waiting for that to start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 A very big man walks into a bar on a very crowded Friday night,after pacing up & down the bar svereral times he cleares a spot in the middlehe calls to the barkeep to bring him a pitcher of beerbarkeep brings pitcher and a glassbig man asks,did I ask for a f**king glass? and in less than 2 seconds chugs the pitcher downhe burps as he looks to his left and saysall you down ther are mother f**kers who wants to fight me?after a long silence no one answersBig man orders another pitcher and chugs it down like the 1stburps and looks to he right and saysall you down there are cock suckers who wants to fight me?after a long silence the littlest scrawny guy in the whole place gets off his bar stool and walks towards big manbig man sees the little man heading his way and shoutsYOU WANT TO FIGHT ME?the little guy stops in his tracks and saysNo sir! I just realized I was on the wrong side TaDum :LMAO: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realsnowdog Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 (edited) A man goes to the doctor's to pick up his wife's test results. The doctor looks concerned. "I'm really sorry sir," he says, "but I'm afraid some of the test results got mixed up & we're not sure which are the ones for your wife. We've narrowed it down to two. She either has Alzheimer's or AIDS." "But that's terrible!" Says the man. "What the hell am I supposed to do now??" "Well," says the doctor, "My advice would be to drive her out into the country somewhere & leave her there. Then, if she finds her way home, don't f*ck her." Edited September 9, 2015 by realsnowdog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realsnowdog Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Some day I'll get to an open mike night. If I were you I'd get along to an open mic night. If you find yourself at an open mike night, you're in the wrong place! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Some day I'll get to an open mike night.If I were you I'd get along to an open mic night. If you find yourself at an open mike night, you're in the wrong place! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mother of all machines Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I'd lose weight but I hate losing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenJennings Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 A fella is sitting on an airplane, waiting for all of the passengers to board. A gorgeous blonde struts down the aisle, instantly catching his eye. "Is this seat taken?" The leggy blonde asks the man, gesturing to the seat next to his. "No." he nervously stuttered, smiling, "By all means, please take a seat." The woman sat down and began flipping through a magazine, the man awkwardly attempted to manufacture a conversation, "Business or pleasure?" "Huh?" the woman looked up from her periodical. "Are you traveling on business or pleasure?" he reiterated. "Oh. Business." she smiled, "I'm attending a conference for the American Society of Nymphomaniacs." "Nymphomaniacs?" the man was taken aback. The gears in his mind began to spin. What luck to be seated next to one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen, and she happened to be a nymphomaniac. "That's right," she answered, "I'll be lecturing... Speaking about my experiences as a nymphomaniac." "Your experiences?" the man probed. The woman immediately opened up, "Yep. There are a lot of misconceptions out there. I mainly like to speak about the stereotypes we encounter, and the real truth behind the rumors." The man's curiosity was piqued, "What kind of misconceptions?" "Well," she explained, "It's always said that black men are the most well endowed, but I can tell you that Native American men absolutely take that honor. I've also heard it suggested that Frenchmen are the most romantic lovers, but I've found Hispanic men lead in that regard. Oh, and stamina... nobody tops a good old redneck American southerner in terms of stamina!" The man nodded, somewhat speechless. "Oh, I'm sorry." The woman apologized. "Listen to me going on and on... I never even got your name!" "Tonto." the man introduced himself, "Tonto Rodriguez... but my friends call me Bubba." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILSnwdog Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 A married couple are arguing while driving down the highway. The subject of infidelity came up. In the heat of the moment, the wife cuts open her husband's pants, cuts off his manhood, and tosses it out the sun roof. A father and his nine year old daughter are traveling right behind, and the Johnson lands on their windshield before blowing off. The daughter asked, "what the heck was that?" The father quickly replies, "oh, that was a bug." After a moment of silence, the daughter exclaims, "well, it sure had a big dick!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 ^^^ KJ and ILS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleRushmonkey Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 A man buys a small farm in the country and wants some livestock to try and get some income.He goes to a local farmer who's willing to sell him a donkey, a cockerel and a hen. He meets the farmer and they arrange a deal.As he's leaving with the donkey, rooster and hen the farmer says 'if the donkey starts to get a bit skittish just scratch him between the ears and that should calm him down... oh... and also, around here, we call a donkey an ass, a rooster a cock and a hen a pullet'. The man thanks him and sets off walking home with a bird under each arm and the donkey on a lead.A little way down the road the donkey starts to get skittish but the man can't reach the donkeys ears because he's got the chickens under his arm. He spots an old lady walking down the road and when she gets closer, the man asks 'excuse me, do you think you could hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?' 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchetaxe&saw Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I like my coffee like I like my women. Without a penis. Don't ask, but that cracks me up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I like my coffee like I like my women. Without a penis. Don't ask, but that cracks me up.http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg293/goose_trf/dikkinkupps%20cafe_zps9dqjwavi.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Union 5-3992 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I knew the psychic was a phony when she accepted my check Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred Star Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) A young boy and girl are playing Doctors 'n' Nurses when the boy suddenly drops his duds, points to his willy and says to the girl.. i've got one of these - you have'nt... The litle girl ponders this for a minute lifts her dress, points to her fanny (pussy) and replies.. when you've got one of "these" - you can have as many of "those" as you want. Edited September 27, 2015 by Fred Star Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 A young boy and girl are playing Doctors 'n' Nurses when the boy suddenly drops his duds, points to his willy and says to the girl.. i've got one of these - you have'nt... The litle girl ponders this for a minute lifts her dress, points to her fanny (pussy) and replies.. when you've got one of "these" - you can have as many of "those" as you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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