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Neil's personality.....a theory.


fraroc
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Now, we all know that Neil stirs a bit of controversy on this site, especially when SpaghettiLee was still here. Despite the fact that I thought that the shit he said about Neil really crossed the line, for a while, I did agree with him. I though that Neil not wanting to interact with his fans, giving his fans the could shoulder and ignoring them meant that he was a mean spirited asshole. I personally do not like the fact that he treats his fans this way, I think that for the sake of being in the music business and having a pretty large legion of fans, he should be nicer to them. But is he REALLY the cold-hearted soulless meanie that some people paint him as?

 

I used to say yes. Now I say no.

 

As you can see and hear in the Beyond The Lighted Stage documentary, the way Neil treats his fans can be summed up in that one line from Limelight, "I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend." But what does that really mean? People who are friends with Neil, including Geddy and Alex say that Neil is a actually a very nice guy and loves making new friends. Hell, in his own writing, he talks about how he enjoys the company of others and being friends with people. When you look back on how he dosen't like to interact with his fans, it all becomes very confusing. Neil's a nice guy, loves making friends, enjoys other people's company, but doesn't like to interact with fans in person?

 

This is where I look back at the "I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend" line. Look at how it's worded. "I CAN'T pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend.". It's "I can't", which means that he can try, but simply cannot. It's a lot different from saying as an example "I WON'T pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend" or "I REFUSE TO pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend." When it comes to celebrities having a "relationship" with their fans, you have to keep it real, There really is NO relationship. The majority of the fans of a major A-List celebrity will most likely never see said celebrity in person ever in their lives let alone meet or make friends with and I feel that any celebrity, no matter how nice they are to their fans in person, who refers to their fans as "friends" or "family" is lying to themselves, because they know that it's impossible to be close friends with millions of people who like you. They're pretending that a stranger is a long awaited friend.

 

My reason on why Neil treats his fans negatively could be totally wrong, keep in mind that this is just MY theory.

 

I personally believe that Neil hates the fact that he can't have a close relationship with all of his fans. I really do think it upsets him a lot, which is why he puts on this facade of a fan-hating asshole. He used the facade as a shield because he doesn't want to get hurt by the fact that he can't make close friends with his fans. He knows that a legion of fans can never be friends all too well and he knows that believing his fans are friends can't make it so. It actually is really heartbreaking when you think about it :( Not having a group of true friends until college, I know the feeling all to well....

Edited by fraroc
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Now, we all know that Neil stirs a bit of controversy on this site, especially when SpaghettiLee was still here. Despite the fact that I thought that the shit he said about Neil really crossed the line, for a while, I did agree with him. I though that Neil not wanting to interact with his fans, giving his fans the could shoulder and ignoring them meant that he was a mean spirited asshole. I personally do not like the fact that he treats his fans this way, I think that for the sake of being in the music business and having a pretty large legion of fans, he should be nicer to them. But is he REALLY the cold-hearted soulless meanie that some people paint him as?

 

I used to say yes. Now I say no.

 

As you can see and hear in the Beyond The Lighted Stage documentary, the way Neil treats his fans can be summed up in that one line from Limelight, "I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend." But what does that really mean? People who are friends with Neil, including Geddy and Alex say that Neil is a actually a very nice guy and loves making new friends. Hell, in his own writing, he talks about how he enjoys the company of others and being friends with people. When you look back on how he dosen't like to interact with his fans, it all becomes very confusing. Neil's a nice guy, loves making friends, enjoys other people's company, but doesn't like to interact with fans in person?

 

This is where I look back at the "I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend" line. Look at how it's worded. "I CAN'T pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend.". It's "I can't", which means that he can try, but simply cannot. It's a lot different from saying as an example "I WON'T pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend" or "I REFUSE TO pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend." When it comes to celebrities having a "relationship" with their fans, you have to keep it real, There really is NO relationship. The majority of the fans of a major A-List celebrity will most likely never see said celebrity in person ever in their lives let alone meet or make friends with and I feel that any celebrity, no matter how nice they are to their fans in person, who refers to their fans as "friends" or "family" is lying to themselves, because they know that it's impossible to be close friends with millions of people who like you. They're pretending that a stranger is a long awaited friend.

 

My reason on why Neil treats his fans negatively could be totally wrong, keep in mind that this is just MY theory.

 

I personally believe that Neil hates the fact that he can't have a close relationship with all of his fans. I really do think it upsets him a lot, which is why he puts on this facade of a fan-hating asshole. He used the facade as a shield because he doesn't want to get hurt by the fact that he can't make close friends with his fans. He knows that a legion of fans can never be friends all too well and he knows that believing his fans are friends can't make it so. It actually is really heartbreaking when you think about it :( Not having a group of true friends until college, I know the feeling all to well....

 

So he can't pretend a stranger is a long-awaited friend, but he can pretend to be a fan-hating asshole?

 

Gee, thanks Neil.

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I also think Neil gets treated a bit unfairly, and I don't really understand why. Not too long ago, a local newspaper published an interview with him. The interviewer made the point of saying that Neil was more than happy to talk; he didn't have to be chased down and actually called the interviewer himself. When he was asked why he likes to write books and make music, he replied that he loves to share. In his books he always talks about how he enjoys the company of people, and enjoys meeting people in his travels. But fans are another story. Some fans are cool; some are not. Some are fanatical and weird and will demand things of a star that they have no right to demand. I believe that most fans are normal people, but after a few experiences with obsessed fans following your bus or trying to find out where you live . . . I'd say he's earned a bit of the benefit of the doubt. I know some introverted people. They simply are uncomfortable when people crowd around. Get them alone and they open up and are generous and have lots of interesting insights and ideas, but in groups, they are shy and retiring.

 

No one will ever convince me that he is a "fan hating asshole" or anything else like that. I don't believe, as some have said, that he "hates people" or "hates religious people" or any of that stuff. He writes his perspectives in his lyrics, like anyone else does. I'm sure he'd be the first to say "take it or leave it, but at least think about it." Members of the forum talk about respecting each other's beliefs and tastes. I'm just not sure why some people are not willing to do the same for him.

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He is a human being

He is flawed

He is not a God (despite what some Rush fans might think)

He has his "own moral compass" and it might point in different directions than mine and yours

 

Accept it and be thankful for his great music.

 

No one's life is going to be any less significant if they never meet him and don't get a chance to take a selfie with him while drooling.

 

Clem

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Now, we all know that Neil stirs a bit of controversy on this site, especially when SpaghettiLee was still here. Despite the fact that I thought that the shit he said about Neil really crossed the line, for a while, I did agree with him. I though that Neil not wanting to interact with his fans, giving his fans the could shoulder and ignoring them meant that he was a mean spirited asshole. I personally do not like the fact that he treats his fans this way, I think that for the sake of being in the music business and having a pretty large legion of fans, he should be nicer to them. But is he REALLY the cold-hearted soulless meanie that some people paint him as?

 

I used to say yes. Now I say no.

 

As you can see and hear in the Beyond The Lighted Stage documentary, the way Neil treats his fans can be summed up in that one line from Limelight, "I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend." But what does that really mean? People who are friends with Neil, including Geddy and Alex say that Neil is a actually a very nice guy and loves making new friends. Hell, in his own writing, he talks about how he enjoys the company of others and being friends with people. When you look back on how he dosen't like to interact with his fans, it all becomes very confusing. Neil's a nice guy, loves making friends, enjoys other people's company, but doesn't like to interact with fans in person?

 

This is where I look back at the "I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend" line. Look at how it's worded. "I CAN'T pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend.". It's "I can't", which means that he can try, but simply cannot. It's a lot different from saying as an example "I WON'T pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend" or "I REFUSE TO pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend." When it comes to celebrities having a "relationship" with their fans, you have to keep it real, There really is NO relationship. The majority of the fans of a major A-List celebrity will most likely never see said celebrity in person ever in their lives let alone meet or make friends with and I feel that any celebrity, no matter how nice they are to their fans in person, who refers to their fans as "friends" or "family" is lying to themselves, because they know that it's impossible to be close friends with millions of people who like you. They're pretending that a stranger is a long awaited friend.

 

My reason on why Neil treats his fans negatively could be totally wrong, keep in mind that this is just MY theory.

 

I personally believe that Neil hates the fact that he can't have a close relationship with all of his fans. I really do think it upsets him a lot, which is why he puts on this facade of a fan-hating asshole. He used the facade as a shield because he doesn't want to get hurt by the fact that he can't make close friends with his fans. He knows that a legion of fans can never be friends all too well and he knows that believing his fans are friends can't make it so. It actually is really heartbreaking when you think about it :( Not having a group of true friends until college, I know the feeling all to well....

 

So he can't pretend a stranger is a long-awaited friend, but he can pretend to be a fan-hating asshole?

 

Gee, thanks Neil.

 

I don't think he's pretending to be a fan hating asshole rather he's just putting a box around himself to protect his composure.

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I also think Neil gets treated a bit unfairly, and I don't really understand why. Not too long ago, a local newspaper published an interview with him. The interviewer made the point of saying that Neil was more than happy to talk; he didn't have to be chased down and actually called the interviewer himself. When he was asked why he likes to write books and make music, he replied that he loves to share. In his books he always talks about how he enjoys the company of people, and enjoys meeting people in his travels. But fans are another story. Some fans are cool; some are not. Some are fanatical and weird and will demand things of a star that they have no right to demand. I believe that most fans are normal people, but after a few experiences with obsessed fans following your bus or trying to find out where you live . . . I'd say he's earned a bit of the benefit of the doubt. I know some introverted people. They simply are uncomfortable when people crowd around. Get them alone and they open up and are generous and have lots of interesting insights and ideas, but in groups, they are shy and retiring.

 

No one will ever convince me that he is a "fan hating asshole" or anything else like that. I don't believe, as some have said, that he "hates people" or "hates religious people" or any of that stuff. He writes his perspectives in his lyrics, like anyone else does. I'm sure he'd be the first to say "take it or leave it, but at least think about it." Members of the forum talk about respecting each other's beliefs and tastes. I'm just not sure why some people are not willing to do the same for him.

 

I was about to comment on this when I read your post and you pretty much covered what I was going to say. If people would read his books they would know why he is the way he is. I never thought he was any kind of fan hating anything. He's just really uncomfortable with being anything other than the guy next door that happens to play drums. I don't know why some people have such a hard time accepting that someone they admire can be shy and not feel comfortable with the "celebrity" thing. There are a lot of weird fans out there.

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Neil is shy and uncomfortable with strangers acting like his friend. It's not a choice. He could probably try and play the part but he'd probably have a panic attack.

Social anxiety is a very real thing. and being an introverted shy person is almost a canadian thing. I'm sort of the same as Neil in this respect and have tried to explain it to people on here and else where but some are too selfish to understand.

"CAN'T pretend.." You nailed it there..

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I think Neil likes to meet people on even terms...not the over zealous fan that wants him to automatically BE HIS FRIEND!

 

I've seen people interacting with "famous people" and it HAS to be a pain in the ass to deal with some of them.

 

 

I always LIKED the fact that he was receptive to sending him letters, and him responding, (until it got out of hand) and I like the fact that he's receptive to sending things to the venue and signing them for you...if I met him on the street, I'd probably just thank him for the music and signing the things I've sent over the years (two post cards, and my Hemispheres album), and not bug him as I've seen people do to other famous people....Sports fans are HORRIBLE!

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He has endured some horrific tragedy in his life and I would imagine having a total stranger come up to you and ask personal questions (yes, I can totally see it happening) would be very uncomfortable.

 

I just think maybe he would prefer to get to know people in a more "normal" way. When two people meet for the first time and know nothing about each other. I can imagine it must be weird for someone to know a lot about you when you have never seen them before in your life. Some people are fine with that but maybe others are not.

 

Just random ramblings. :)

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I get that he can't treat every fan as if he and they were intimately acquainted, but I also think the number of fans who expect that from him relative to the number of his fans that merely want to tell him what a huge impact his lyrics have had on their lives (and I am neither of those types of fans) is vanishingly small, so perhaps he could pretend that the majority of his fans are harmless and only want to share with him the opportunity to say "thank you" to him. And really, given that it's Neil's fans who have afforded him the lifestyle that he enjoys, the "thank yous" should be coming the other direction.

 

(I'm not that kind of fan, either. I'd be perfectly happy to leave Neil alone if he and I crossed paths. I could easily pretend he's a stranger...because he is.)

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I totally get how Neil is since I think I'm very similar...introverted, uncomfortable accepting compliments, not comfortable in large groups of people. I can just imagine how hard it is to trust a complete stranger coming up and acting like you're his best friend or wanting to 'worship' you...very embarassing and difficult to trust people at first.

 

Not to get into amatuer psychology here, but knowing how he grew up could have something to do with this. He was not the popular sports kid and kind of an outcast. Then he developed his drumming talent and all of a sudden people wanted to know him. It probably leads to the question of 'why do you want to be my friend now, when you had nothing to do with me before I showed my drumming talent?'

 

He's a smart guy so at times he can probably overanalyze people and their intentions. At the end of the day, I admire the hell out of his work, but I have no desire to worship or try to show that I'm his long lost friend.

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Then he developed his drumming talent and all of a sudden people wanted to know him. It probably leads to the question of 'why do you want to be my friend now, when you had nothing to do with me before I showed my drumming talent?'

 

That^^^.

Also some fans think of him as a god-like character... which is nonsense, why should Neil give them the time of day if they're that deluded?

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When you read Neil's books, you realize that outside of his job, he is just a regular person. In fact of late, he talks/writes more then ever about his simple interactions with people and the importance of this. No theory, his words and not mine. Edited by Jeffrey
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Now, we all know that Neil stirs a bit of controversy on this site,

 

Neil Peart doesn't stir anything on this site.

 

100% of any conflicts or arguments that occur on this site are caused by the FANS who post here.

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Neil (Peart) reminds me of Neil (Armstrong) who also avoided the spotlight, because he didn't think of himself as a big hero, just an average guy do once did a good job at something.

 

It is impossible to imagine what Neil Armstrong had to endure. He was literally the most famous human being EVER, who performed the greatest human achievement EVER.

 

The limelight that he was facing was a billion times brighter than anything any rock band could ever get. He was truly wise to reject it all. :ebert:

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