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Mara's Tale of Gore


Mara
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Warning: this is not for the squeamish and faint of stomach. It's just too awesomely gross not to share, though.

 

Last week I noticed a small swelling on the left side of my neck, up in the hairline just under the ridge of the skull. I thought maybe it was just a pimple and thought no more of it except when I'd hit it with the hairbrush once in a while.

 

Within 3 days the damn thing was huge - about the size of a dollar coin, angry and red (and I could feel a bigger area of hardened swelling under the surrounding skin), and it really f*ckin' HURT. I did the usual "take Aleve and ignore it and it will go away" approach I generally use with medical issues.

 

But it didn't go away. It got worse; I couldn't sleep well because it was hard to find a comfortable position to put my head. By Thursday I wasn't really able to focus on anything else and made a doctor's appointment. It turns out it's an abscess that has actually gotten into the lymph node there; there's a cyst involved as well and that's probably where it started. Doctor didn't want to lance it at the time, but did take a culture. We're treating with antibiotics for staph and culturing to make sure it's not MRSA. I also got narcotics for pain - it was that bad, and I am super stoic about pain. I also treated it 3X/day with hot packs to try to get it to bust on its own. That didn't seem to be working, but the hot packs do feel good.

 

Today I was enjoying a late lunch with my husband and felt something wet and warm splat on my leg (shorts today as it's nice out). I looked down and thought at first that a big glob of ketchup and mayo had dripped out of my cheeseburger and landed there. Further examination revealed that the suspicious blob did not in fact involve condiments of any kind. The abscess had, with no warning, blown open all by itself. And it wasn't just on my leg; it was all over my shoulder, down my shirt front, and in my hair.

 

I cleaned it up as best as I could in the bathroom. It's still kind of gunky, but it feels so much better.

 

In case you're wondering, I did finish my lunch. :)

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You are the best. Awesome story. You prove once again why folks around here think so highly of you. You flip a gross story into a charming one. Well done and I hope you heal fully very soon..... :rose:
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Glad to hear that you're feeling so much better. Also good to hear that the blob didn't land on your plate where you might have mistaken it for ketchup and mayo. A good story, thanks for sharing it. :spitwater:

 

Yikes, I didn't think about that! Yeah, nothing like mistakenly dunking french fries into a big glob of pus. That would have guaranteed a repeat viewing of anything I'd already ingested.

My husband did say he's not sure if he'll ever be able to eat cottage cheese again.

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Mara, I'm just glad you didn't film it and put it on YouTube, like everyone else does.....

 

:LOL: :lol: :LOL:

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Glad to hear that you're feeling so much better. Also good to hear that the blob didn't land on your plate where you might have mistaken it for ketchup and mayo. A good story, thanks for sharing it. :spitwater:

 

Yikes, I didn't think about that! Yeah, nothing like mistakenly dunking french fries into a big glob of pus. That would have guaranteed a repeat viewing of anything I'd already ingested.

My husband did say he's not sure if he'll ever be able to eat cottage cheese again.

So much for the charm.... :LOL:
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I had the same thing happen to me in high school, but it was in my armpit, you have some similar gland there. It was unbelievably painful
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I've worked with several vets who say they love working with abcesses because it's so satisfying when they finally drain.

 

I used to work for a vet many years ago, and I'm also a horse person. Horse people have an almost disturbing fascination with pus - the more volume the better, and ACES if it also has a smell that would knock out an elephant.

 

I did beg the doctor on Thursday to open it up; it hurt that much and I wanted the immediate relief I knew would result. But she didn't want to go digging into the lymph node as that's generally something done in a surgical setting and they just remove the affected node.

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The restaurant was blessedly uncrowded since it was about 3:30 in the afternoon. It was just Five Guys, nothing fancy. I know, it would have made the story better if we'd been at some poncey 5-star place and the abscess had exploded all over the ironed and starched linens, but the truth is pretty pedestrian.
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Well I'm glad you're okay. What about the others in the restaurant?

 

Hopefully, it wasn't similar to Monty Python's "Mr. Creosote at the French restaurant" scene.....

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