Dallas Cowboys

[Weakly Criminal]

Not a Cowboys fan, but they will hand the Falcons their first loss of the season Sunday night.

Not a Cowboys fan, but they will hand the Falcons their first loss of the season Sunday night.

 

Not sure about that, but I'll be taking the points. Here's hoping you're right.

[mazyyz]

Not a Cowboys fan, but they will hand the Falcons their first loss of the season Sunday night.

Not a Cowboys fan, but they will hand the Falcons their first loss of the season Sunday night.

 

Not sure about that, but I'll be taking the points. Here's hoping you're right. default/trink39.gif

 

The Falcons are due to lose a few this year. They haven't beaten anyone that is over .500. I know, you can argue the Chargers and the Broncos. Yes, the Chargers were above .500 at the time, however, they were on the peak of decline. The Broncos and Manning were not clicking at that time.

 

The Cowboys are a dangerous team. I don't think they will make it to the playoffs, but they are still dangerous to face. This should be a challenge to the Dirty Birds.

[laughedatbytime]

BRISTOL, CT—In an installment of the popular segment broadcast Thursday night, ESPN’s “Sport Science” attempted to investigate the natural phenomena surrounding Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo’s shittiness and provide conclusive explanations for why the Dallas veteran sucks so bad.

“We always want to highlight the athletes who perform on nearly superhuman levels,” “Sports Science” host John Brenkus said. “And really, nobody in sports presents a better case study of a player who spectacularly collapses under the pressure of a professional athletic stage than Tony Romo.”

The four-minute piece, which used high-tech motion sensors and accelerometers to measure the quarterback’s forced and ill-advised throws, revealed that Romo possesses the exceptional ability to f**k up in just 0.64 seconds. The segment also sought to explain the physics involved in Romo haphazardly chucking a perfect spiral directly into the hands of an opposing cornerback.

“We observed Romo missing 98 percent of our targets,” Brenkus said. “While studying the footage, we were able to determine that his capacity to make poor decisions in less than a second greatly influence why he’s so imprecise.”

“There’s not a quarterback in the NFL who can make a mistake as quickly as Romo,” Brenkus added.

The “Sports Science” broadcast confirmed that Romo’s numerous boneheaded meltdowns in clutch situations correspond to an abnormally terrible field of vision coupled with an unparalleled knack for sloppily throwing into double coverage.

In addition, the show used computer animations of Romo’s brain to simulate the precise slowness of neural firings required for the quarterback to stand in the pocket and take a sack instead of spotting an open receiver streaking down the sideline.

Physicist and local professor Dr. Charles Dunbar, who worked as a consultant on the “Sport Science” segment, confirmed that Romo has seemed to defy logic with his horrid play over the years. Analyzing tape of the Dallas quarterback throwing four interceptions to the Giants in week eight, Dunbar said he was intrigued by how the human body could be capable of such an utterly shitty performance.

“It was truly fascinating to scrutinize Romo’s pathetic struggles on the field,” Dunbar said. “We are finally starting to unravel the science behind the dumb shit tripping over his own feet and falling down well before the pass rushers arrive.”

“Those in the scientific community interested in studying piss poor quarterbacking truly couldn’t ask for a better subject,” Dunbar added.

-->"]www.theonion.com/articles/espn-sports-science-segment-reveals-physics-of-ton,30210/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default

[laughedatbytime]

<img src="" />

Hell, it worked in preview mode...

Edited November 4, 2012 by laughedatbytime

[Syrinx]

FIRE GARRETT!!! Enough of this sloppy undisciplined play. This is absolutely ridiculous.

[treeduck]

That guy who missed that tackle and got the penalty on that last Failclown drive cost the Cowboys big. What's he called Scatterhorn? Swandick?

[Syrinx]

Scamdick

[Weakly Criminal]

Not a Cowboys fan, but they will hand the Falcons their first loss of the season Sunday night.

Not a Cowboys fan, but they will hand the Falcons their first loss of the season Sunday night.

 

Not sure about that, but I'll be taking the points. Here's hoping you're right. default/trink39.gif

 

The Falcons are due to lose a few this year. They haven't beaten anyone that is over .500. I know, you can argue the Chargers and the Broncos. Yes, the Chargers were above .500 at the time, however, they were on the peak of decline. The Broncos and Manning were not clicking at that time.

 

The Cowboys are a dangerous team. I don't think they will make it to the playoffs, but they are still dangerous to face. This should be a challenge to the Dirty Birds.

Not a Cowboys fan, but they will hand the Falcons their first loss of the season Sunday night.

Not a Cowboys fan, but they will hand the Falcons their first loss of the season Sunday night.

 

Not sure about that, but I'll be taking the points. Here's hoping you're right. default/trink39.gif

 

The Falcons are due to lose a few this year. They haven't beaten anyone that is over .500. I know, you can argue the Chargers and the Broncos. Yes, the Chargers were above .500 at the time, however, they were on the peak of decline. The Broncos and Manning were not clicking at that time.

 

The Cowboys are a dangerous team. I don't think they will make it to the playoffs, but they are still dangerous to face. This should be a challenge to the Dirty Birds.

 

The Shegulls are going down. Book it. Three inch headlines.

[Syrinx]

I don't know why, but I think we go on a run here. Winnable games coming up.

[Weakly Criminal]

I don't know why, but I think we go on a run here. Winnable games coming up.

I don't know why, but I think we go on a run here. Winnable games coming up.

 

Agreed.

[Weakly Criminal]

For the first time since the first game of the season in NY, the 'Boys actually won a game by out playing their opponent rather than being less incompetent. Good stretch schedule wise coming up. Giants not playing so well, anything is possible.

[Syrinx]

Beat Cleveland and we are 5-5. Then the Redskins on Thanksgiving and 6-5. Giants follow up losing to Green Bay and it is a tie for first. Fingers crossed!

[Weakly Criminal]

Beat Cleveland and we are 5-5. Then the Redskins on Thanksgiving and 6-5. Giants follow up losing to Green Bay and it is a tie for first. Fingers crossed!

Beat Cleveland and we are 5-5. Then the Redskins on Thanksgiving and 6-5. Giants follow up losing to Green Bay and it is a tie for first. Fingers crossed!

 

:cheers:

[softfilter]

I don't know how many more sarcastic statements I can make to say how f*cked up this season has been for the the Browns.... Taking defeat out of the jaws of victory will be the official title of the 2012 Browns season film

Or, when it came to "moral"??? victories Cleveland was undefeated... One thing that has been true Browns haven't been a push over for anyone this season.. Good bye Shurmur.

Edited November 19, 2012 by softfilter

[Syrinx]

That Browns team is an up-and-comer! They have a poor record but have not been blown out by anyone. The Cowboys on the other hand... . A win is a win but.....

[Weakly Criminal]

Ok, the 'Boys won as they should have, butt ugly. The O line better get fixed or we WILL lose to RGIII and the Skins.

[Syrinx]

I am so darn frustrated by this team!!! There are holes top to bottom and the worst thing is there is no quick fix. This team is broken.

[laughedatbytime]

One thing's for sure. They've got the right GM for the job...no need for a change there... :outtahere:

[Syrinx]

I have been a fan since 1971 and I don't think I have ever felt this bad. I am bordering on not caring. If that is happening to a die hard like me, it could spell trouble. I am embarrassed by this team of under achieving losers.

[Weakly Criminal]

Steven needs to grow a pair and tell his father that it's time for the GM job to be transfered. Then Redball has to go. Get Shawn Peyton, or Cower, or Holmgren in here ASAP.

[treeduck]

Steven needs to grow a pair and tell his father that it's time for the GM job to be transfered. Then Redball has to go. Get Shawn Peyton, or Cower, or Holmgren in here ASAP.

 

No don't get Sean Payton

[Syrinx]

Problem is the coaches who could really turn this around have their pick of any job they want and have to consider whether they want to work with meddling Jerry.

[sullysue]

Steven needs to grow a pair and tell his father that it's time for the GM job to be transfered. Then Redball has to go. Get Shawn Peyton, or Cower, or Holmgren in here ASAP.

 

No don't get Sean Payton

 

Don't think it won't happen. Payton has connections with the Cowboys, and he has a permanent residence in Westlake. Again, the issue is with that pain in the ass, Jerry Jones. He's destroying this team with his egotistical, controlling bullcrap. Surely, he has to be aware of the general view that he has become detrimental to the team.

[treeduck]

Steven needs to grow a pair and tell his father that it's time for the GM job to be transfered. Then Redball has to go. Get Shawn Peyton, or Cower, or Holmgren in here ASAP.

 

No don't get Sean Payton

 

Don't think it won't happen. Payton has connections with the Cowboys, and he has a permanent residence in Westlake. Again, the issue is with that pain in the ass, Jerry Jones. He's destroying this team with his egotistical, controlling bullcrap. Surely, he has to be aware of the general view that he has become detrimental to the team.

 

Payton would want to bring Mickey Loomis with him, since this whole thing happened because of a clause involving Loomis. I don't think Jerry would go along with that. He'd also want to bring along Brees, that's not happening either...

 

Why can't the Cowboys discover their own top head coach anyway? Can't be that difficult if THE SAINTS can do it?

[treeduck]

Dallas Cowboys fans are calling on a higher power to erase Jerry Jones from the equation in Big D.

 

 

The Dallas Morning News reported Monday that a man from Ft. Benning, Ga. has petitioned President Barack Obama to remove Jones from power over the Cowboys organization.

 

The petition, housed on the White House website and filed under the category of "Human Rights," includes the following call to arms:

 

"We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch's immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress."

 

As we post this, 412 U.S. citizens have signed the petition. Only 24,588 more are required for Obama to take this seriously. We've dispatched Rosenthal to monitor this development closely.

 

http://www.nfl.com/n...ust-jerry-jones

http://cowboysblog.d...om-office.html/

Edited November 27, 2012 by 1-0-0-1-0-0-1
Fixed links and stuff