"No screaming kids" allowed in NC restaurant

[Jaye]

QUOTE (ForceTen @ Sep 8 2010, 08:19 PM)

QUOTE (librarian @ Sep 8 2010, 02:13 PM) I think it is rude for a restaurant to post something like that. Children go through so many emotions all the time - it's not something that can be predicted. Not as rude as parents just letting their kids scream, shreik, and run all over the place.   But, as the owner said, they're not asking the parents to leave and never come back. What they're asking is for parents of noisy, uncontrollable kids to be repsectful of others and take it outside.   Ever see these? Are they rude, offensive or descriminatory?     "No shoes? No shirt? No service!"   "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" Exactly. What really annoys me is when parents just sit there and do nothing while their kids running around making noise.   Also once, when my mum worked in Asda canteen, some kid was messing around near her and the mother said something like "Stop it or that lady will tell you off!" WTF? It's not my mum's responsibility!

[Mara]

QUOTE (librarian @ Sep 8 2010, 03:13 PM)

I think it is rude for a restaurant to post something like that. Children go through so many emotions all the time - it's not something that can be predicted.

I believe it's directed more at the parents than at the kids. Specifically at parents who have trained themselves to be oblivious to their child's tantrums and don't realize (or don't care) that it annoys others.

 

Really - a few moments of a baby crying is one thing. Full on out-of-control screaming, yelling, running around like a thing possessed, hitting, etc., is quite another.

 

You guys may think my husband is a dick for this, and well, maybe he sort of was. We were out to lunch with the in-laws (yes, THOSE in-laws) about two years ago. Nowhere fancy - it was a Mexican restaurant. My brother-in-law has multiple myeloma, which when active causes little "holes" in bones and makes them fragile. He had a broken arm as a result of it, and was wearing a cast.

 

So this kid about age 5 was tearing pell-mell around the place, crashing into people, tables, waitstaff, all the while yelling at the top of his lungs. He slammed into BIL's casted arm a couple of times. My SIL approached the parents - no luck, just a dirty look and a shrug. She then approached the manager of the place - "no habla Ingles very well". (Gainesville, Ga. - lots of Mexicans there because of the chicken plants).

 

Finally, my husband stuck a well-timed foot into the aisle just as the kid hurtled past. . .NO, he wasn't hurt, just shocked into taking it easy until his family was ready to leave. The parents were SO oblivious they didn't even notice! Makes me wonder if they'd have noticed if a stranger in a brown van with a bubble window had driven off with their child in it. . .

[Janie]

This is one of those heated debates. Being on both sides (not having kids/having kids) let me point out an observation...

 

There are those parents who turn a blind eye. This is who I want to believe that sign is for.

 

Then, there are those parents who have a child who can behave and knows how to behave but for whatever reason, the child is having a rough go at things. The parent(s) are obviously flustered. It's this parent I have sympathy for. I will either (1) drown the noise out... my life will go on or (2) try to help. Kids can easily be entertained by other people sometimes and if I'm waiting for my meal or just finished mine and mom and dad have just ordered or waiting for theirs... it's no skin off my back to help junior out.

 

I'm a little offended that the sign went up, but it's their business. I can go somewhere else. There are lots of kid-friendly restaurants and IMO, if I'm going out with my kids, that's where I'm going. If I want a nice dinner out, that's my opportunity to do so sans kids. Which is a total treat, I will not lie about that.

[Janie]

QUOTE (Mara @ Sep 8 2010, 12:49 PM)

QUOTE (librarian @ Sep 8 2010, 03:13 PM) I think it is rude for a restaurant to post something like that. Children go through so many emotions all the time - it's not something that can be predicted. I believe it's directed more at the parents than at the kids. Specifically at parents who have trained themselves to be oblivious to their child's tantrums and don't realize (or don't care) that it annoys others.   Really - a few moments of a baby crying is one thing. Full on out-of-control screaming, yelling, running around like a thing possessed, hitting, etc., is quite another.   You guys may think my husband is a dick for this, and well, maybe he sort of was. We were out to lunch with the in-laws (yes, THOSE in-laws) about two years ago. Nowhere fancy - it was a Mexican restaurant. My brother-in-law has multiple myeloma, which when active causes little "holes" in bones and makes them fragile. He had a broken arm as a result of it, and was wearing a cast.   So this kid about age 5 was tearing pell-mell around the place, crashing into people, tables, waitstaff, all the while yelling at the top of his lungs. He slammed into BIL's casted arm a couple of times. My SIL approached the parents - no luck, just a dirty look and a shrug. She then approached the manager of the place - "no habla Espanol very well". (Gainesville, Ga. - lots of Mexicans there because of the chicken plants).   Finally, my husband stuck a well-timed foot into the aisle just as the kid hurtled past. . .NO, he wasn't hurt, just shocked into taking it easy until his family was ready to leave. The parents were SO oblivious they didn't even notice! Makes me wonder if they'd have noticed if a stranger in a brown van with a bubble window had driven off with their child in it. . . It's hard to raise kids because of ALL the every single little thing you need to teach them. Teach, being the key word here. That was the perfect opportunity for mom/dad to intervene, pull junior aside and start the process of explaining why people behave a certain way in certain places and start in on consequences. It's hard because you have to take the chance that a temper tantrum is going to happen and you'll have to summon the waiter over and then wait for the check and the processing of the bill while you have a screaming kid and people giving you mean looks... but... the other option is to do nothing and then what does that teach kids?

[ForceTen]

Good on your BIL, Mara. Here's another example...

 

I was at Perkins a while back with some friends. These are friends I see very rarely due to living quite a distance apart and having conflicting schedules. The family that was sitting right behind me had two young kids under the age of 6.

 

Very cute kids until they started shrieking. I'm not talking yelling. I mean all out shrieking in as high of a pitch as they possibly could. Enough to the point of causing pain and headaches. Parents basically told their kids to be quiet twice and then promptly shut up as their kids continued on for about 5 minutes.

 

The little boy turned around and shrieked in my ear and I could feel the moisture and heat on the side of my face from him. I promptly turned and looked at him and gave him a very stern look. He promptly went from shrieking to crying and his little sister did too.

 

Both parents gave me the dirtiest looks and I promptly told them where they could go (without being profane) because they did nothing to control their kids. Now, Perkins is a family restaurant, and I expect to hear families and it being a little loud. But, what they did was completely uncalled for.

 

Was I wrong? To be honest, I couldn't care less. It resolved the shrieking issue and the kids quieted down after a few seconds.

[Janie]

QUOTE (Mara @ Sep 8 2010, 12:49 PM)

Finally, my husband stuck a well-timed foot into the aisle just as the kid hurtled past. . .NO, he wasn't hurt, just shocked into taking it easy until his family was ready to leave. The parents were SO oblivious they didn't even notice! Makes me wonder if they'd have noticed if a stranger in a brown van with a bubble window had driven off with their child in it. . .

This reminds me of something that happened a long time ago. I was at a museum with a friend and this little girl, about five, pulled on my shirt and said she lost her mommy. I asked what color coat her mommy was wearing, she thought for a minute, said, "RED!" and then we walked for a bit until I saw a woman in a red coat. That was indeed the little girls mommy. That woman "lost" her kid three times that I counted and never once looked around to keep an eye on her child. I was floored. Someone could have taken that little girl, easily probably, and that mom would have never known!? Having kids (and even at the time when this happened I didn't have kids) I don't get it. Just thinking about this gives me a mini heart attack.

[Mara]

I will say - if you go to Olive Garden, or Pizza Hut, or any family-friendly restaurant in a mall or shopping area (especially during the holidays) and expect to have child-free peace and quiet, you are an idiot.

 

Places that advertise as family-friendly NEED to be a wee bit more accommodating. But that does not absolve parents of a degree of responsibility.

 

We used to have a column in our local paper called "Hungry - With Kids" that reviewed restaurants not only on the usual standards but also on how kid-friendly they were. Like did they offer cups with lids, a decent kids' menu, crayons, etc. It was a huge hit - not only with families, but also with people who wanted to know where NOT to go on a weekend night. Everyone was happy.

[ForceTen]

QUOTE (Janie @ Sep 8 2010, 03:00 PM)

It's hard to raise kids because of ALL the every single little thing you need to teach them. Teach, being the key word here. That was the perfect opportunity for mom/dad to intervene, pull junior aside and start the process of explaining why people behave a certain way in certain places and start in on consequences. It's hard because you have to take the chance that a temper tantrum is going to happen and you'll have to summon the waiter over and then wait for the check and the processing of the bill while you have a screaming kid and people giving you mean looks... but... the other option is to do nothing and then what does that teach kids?

Simple solution if both parents are there:

 

One parent takes the kid outside while the other either eats and then trades places so the other can. Or, gets check and food packaged up to take home and meets the rest outside.

 

If you're on your own, most people would be understanding if you're trying to leave and get things taken care of. At least you're doing something.

[thesweetscience]

QUOTE (librarian @ Sep 8 2010, 03:13 PM)

I think it is rude for a restaurant to post something like that. Children go through so many emotions all the time - it's not something that can be predicted.

Not true. Learning disabilities aside, kids behavior can be controlled through diligent parental attention and discipline in some form. When I was a kid I didn't act the way I see a great many children act in public because there were consequences. Seeing unruly children in public was a rare thing when I was young because more parents were diligent. This goes against the notion that it CAN'T be done. It just ISN'T done.

[ILSnwdog]

QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Sep 8 2010, 03:22 PM)

QUOTE (librarian @ Sep 8 2010, 03:13 PM) I think it is rude for a restaurant to post something like that. Children go through so many emotions all the time - it's not something that can be predicted. Not true. Learning disabilities aside, kids behavior can be controlled through diligent parental attention and discipline in some form. When I was a kid I didn't act the way I see a great many children act in public because there were consequences. Seeing unruly children in public was a rare thing when I was young because more parents were diligent. This goes against the notion that it CAN'T be done. It just ISN'T done.   It used to be that if kids acted out, they were going to get a foot in the ass.   But you can still hold your kids accountable without thrashing them. All I have to do is count 1-2-3, and mine know that they have crossed the line, and they stop in their tracks.

[Mara]

My best friend from HS had a story he loved to tell about the time he decided to play "automatic rifle" with a mouthful of peas in a restaurant. He filled his mouth, then slammed his cheeks with his hands so peas sprayed everywhere. (He was around 4-5).

 

He was repeating the story once and his dad overheard and commented, "yeah, the part he never tells anyone is the part where he got taken out to the car and had his butt worn out right after."

[workingcinderellaman]

QUOTE (librarian @ Sep 8 2010, 02:13 PM)

I think it is rude for a restaurant to post something like that. Children go through so many emotions all the time - it's not something that can be predicted.

Perhaps; but not as rude as out of control screaming kids.

 

 

http://failads.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/children-slaves.jpg

 

[BeOhBe Bob]

QUOTE (Mara @ Sep 8 2010, 04:42 PM)

My best friend from HS had a story he loved to tell about the time he decided to play "automatic rifle" with a mouthful of peas in a restaurant. He filled his mouth, then slammed his cheeks with his hands so peas sprayed everywhere. (He was around 4-5). He was repeating the story once and his dad overheard and commented, "yeah, the part he never tells anyone is the part where he got taken out to the car and had his butt worn out right after."

Selective memory, typical male

 

 

 

[Alex]

You can talk about what parents can't control this and that, and whose the idiot in the situation but the fact remains. Its a private establishment, so its their rules. If you don't like it, take a hike.

[GeddyLeefan2112]

I can understand a child being a little loud...yelling once or talking a bit too loud...it happens. I remember doing it when I was a child, and I certainly remember my younger sister doing it. It was always met with the same response by my parents...

 

"Shhhhh, we're in a restaurant", followed by an explanation of why we don't act that way in public. It was normally quieted, but if it happened again, we were certainly informed that there would be consequences if it continued.

 

What I can't understand, is constant screaming and running around and raising hell by children while the parents just sit there and ignore it completely. If your child is screaming, the situation needs to change, whether you removed them from the situation or not.

[librarian]

Gadzooks!

[iluvgeddy05]

While they are at it, can they ban people who loudly talk on their cell phones during dinner? And people who haven't bathed in a while?

 

 

 

[JohnnyBlaze]

QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Sep 9 2010, 10:57 AM)

While they are at it, can they ban people who loudly talk on their cell phones during dinner? And people who haven't bathed in a while?

There are going to be few folks left given that criteria.

I guess a mute in a plastic bubble would be able to stay.

[ForceTen]

QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ Sep 9 2010, 07:10 AM)

QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Sep 9 2010, 10:57 AM) While they are at it, can they ban people who loudly talk on their cell phones during dinner?  And people who haven't bathed in a while? There are going to be few folks left given that criteria. I guess a mute in a plastic bubble would be able to stay. All the better for those of us whom are courteous to others.

[Ya_Big_Tree]

QUOTE (Tarkus406 @ Sep 8 2010, 11:42 AM)

The way I see it is this...if your kid can't handle sitting in a restaurant for dinner without screaming and crying "I WANNA GO HOME I HATE THIS PLACE" for 2 hours..don't take them out to eat. They won't enjoy it, and neither will you or anyone within a 20 metre radius of you. I am sorry for the mothers here with children who are hard to control due to developmental disabilities such as autism. I understand it's not easy for you. But really...if I'm paying to sit in a fine dining establishment for a meal it's very nerve-racking to have a child screaming she or he wants to go home the whole time. I had this happen at an IHOP a couple of months ago and the mother could not calm her daughter down. Yes, she actually did try to, but no cigar. Eventually I lost my appetite and left without finishing my food. Now what really steams my carrots is when a child is sitting there, face all red, tears everywhere, like "IIII WANNNTT TTOOOO GOOOOOOO HOOOOMMMMEEEEEE" repeatedly, and the parents are doing NOTHING about it! They just pretend it's not happening. That, I think, is bad parenting and shows the parents don't care to have any control over their children. Contrary to modern belief, control and discipline are not the 'crimes' people think they are these days. You can control your children without beating them up or doing anything illegal. But this whole restaurant thing...I think it's a good idea. Like the owner said, they won't tell you you cant bring your kids in, or tell you to GTFO or anything...just take them outside until they calm down. That's not much to ask, I don't think. If my kid was causing that kind of ruckus I'd be outside giving him/her quite a lecture, with punishments to follow (groundings, no television, whatever...) Kids have to learn some way, right? At least that's how it was when I was a kid.

Exactly.

 

I don't have kids and probably never will. I love kids but I don't love them when I'm trying to enjoy a meal with someone and I can't hear what they are saying cause some screaming brat is going off on something. I don't think it's a bad idea to start having parents take their children outside and calm them down before returning inside.

 

I never acted the way I see some kids act in public back in the day. And if I did, my parents would simply just take me home where I would recieve some sort of punishment for being disruptive. I don't understand why parents are almost afraid of their children now. Afraid to punish them, afraid to tell them "NO" Sakes.. grow a pair will ya.

 

 

[Pags]

You never know when your young child is going to act out. Mostly, my kids have been okay in restaurants (fortunately) - but no parent has gone incident-free and it's absolutely happened to us where one of our kids got out of hand. But we handle it immediately, even if we have to leave.

 

On the other hand, if any so-called adult ever made a comment to me about one of my children it would be their mistake. My first question to them would be, "This is a 4 year old child who doesn't know how to control themselves yet. You? You're what... 58? What's your freakin' excuse?"

 

We'll see where the altercation goes from there. But I'll win.

[Mara]

QUOTE (Pags @ Sep 9 2010, 05:53 PM)

You never know when your young child is going to act out. Mostly, my kids have been okay in restaurants (fortunately) - but no parent has gone incident-free and it's absolutely happened to us where one of our kids got out of hand. But we handle it immediately, even if we have to leave.

And from reading the article, that's all the proprietor is really asking.

 

I think the biggest crime here is the inflammatory wording of the sign. But then parents who think their kids' tantrums are everyone else's problem probably wouldn't notice a milder, more toned-down request.

 

(Kind of like the woman who, I kid you not, changed her child's diaper ON THE TABLE in a frozen yogurt establishment where I worked as a teen. She left the dirty one on the table and left - my assistant manager chased her out and threw it at her as she was leaving. I'd like to say it stuck to her inconsiderate nasty butt, but I would be lying).

[librarian]

QUOTE (Mara @ Sep 9 2010, 05:02 PM)

(Kind of like the woman who, I kid you not, changed her child's diaper ON THE TABLE in a frozen yogurt establishment where I worked as a teen.  She left the dirty one on the table and left)

 

That is sososososo wrong and not to mention, gross.

People are so wierd.

 

I guess there was no sign that said:

 

"take your sh*t with you when you leave"

 

 

 

 

[CeeJ]

QUOTE (Mara @ Sep 8 2010, 02:49 PM)

QUOTE (librarian @ Sep 8 2010, 03:13 PM) I think it is rude for a restaurant to post something like that. Children go through so many emotions all the time - it's not something that can be predicted. I believe it's directed more at the parents than at the kids. Specifically at parents who have trained themselves to be oblivious to their child's tantrums and don't realize (or don't care) that it annoys others.   Really - a few moments of a baby crying is one thing. Full on out-of-control screaming, yelling, running around like a thing possessed, hitting, etc., is quite another.   You guys may think my husband is a dick for this, and well, maybe he sort of was. We were out to lunch with the in-laws (yes, THOSE in-laws) about two years ago. Nowhere fancy - it was a Mexican restaurant. My brother-in-law has multiple myeloma, which when active causes little "holes" in bones and makes them fragile. He had a broken arm as a result of it, and was wearing a cast.   So this kid about age 5 was tearing pell-mell around the place, crashing into people, tables, waitstaff, all the while yelling at the top of his lungs. He slammed into BIL's casted arm a couple of times. My SIL approached the parents - no luck, just a dirty look and a shrug. She then approached the manager of the place - "no habla Ingles very well". (Gainesville, Ga. - lots of Mexicans there because of the chicken plants).   Finally, my husband stuck a well-timed foot into the aisle just as the kid hurtled past. . .NO, he wasn't hurt, just shocked into taking it easy until his family was ready to leave. The parents were SO oblivious they didn't even notice! Makes me wonder if they'd have noticed if a stranger in a brown van with a bubble window had driven off with their child in it. . . "You guys may think my husband is a dick for this"   Think? Really?   Your husband IS a dick for this. Your words.   IF your husband had done that to any of my children... He would be a hurting man. And that is saying that the child wasn't hurt.   If your husband did that and my child was hurt... THE BOTTOM OF THE HUDSON!   I have been reading this and staying away. Can't count the times I've only gotten this far cause I just wanna puke when I read those words.     I guess I'll chime in here. At first glimpse, I wanna say great. BUT there must be provisions for those that are "challenged" in some way. Children with disabilities can not help what happens. And the parents of these children should be able to judge weather or not their child can handle certain situations and decide for themselves and their child. I wouldn't expect to see the same child lash out in my favorite restaurant 3 out of 7 times we were there. I would THINK that the parents would KNOW the child couldn't handle the place.   A 3 year old with ants in the pants totally different story. The child doesn't belong in a place where they can't sit still. And don't blame the child for the running and screaming... Blame the parents. They need to learn PARENTING SKILLS.   I like the rules but with provisions.

[ForceTen]

QUOTE (Pags @ Sep 9 2010, 04:53 PM)

You never know when your young child is going to act out. Mostly, my kids have been okay in restaurants (fortunately) - but no parent has gone incident-free and it's absolutely happened to us where one of our kids got out of hand. But we handle it immediately, even if we have to leave. On the other hand, if any so-called adult ever made a comment to me about one of my children it would be their mistake. My first question to them would be, "This is a 4 year old child who doesn't know how to control themselves yet. You? You're what... 58? What's your freakin' excuse?" We'll see where the altercation goes from there. But I'll win.

You see, this is where people start crossing the line. You think your child, and your honour has been questioned when doing the right thing by taking your child outside when they act up. Again, no one is saying they'd speak out against parents whom were doing the right thing or children who act out once. But again, usually the good parents will do something even at that.

 

The issue is with parents who are lazy, inconsiderate, and have no courtesy for others in the establishment. That is what draws the looks, the comments and the complaints. If people have issues with that, so be it. I have no problems with speaking my mind about poor parenting, ill/misbehaved children.

 

As to your comment about "winning", please... That's the kind of attitude that's inviting of trouble.