iluvgeddy05

I know and that's what I'm doing even though it's been emotionally taxing and very difficult. My first visit with my therapist was with my husband. He tried to tell my husband things he could already tell he needed to work on and my husband kind of blew him off, didn't try to understand what he was saying, and was basically like "she's been through more stuff so she needs more help than I do." Even one of the first things the therapist said to him was "Do you even hear the things she tells you she needs and tries to say to you?" Because he watched my husband blow me off right in front of him. Example: Therapist (to me): "How is your sleep? Are you getting a good night's sleep?" Me: "No, I don't sleep well at all, I'm lucky to get 5-6 hours most nights." Husband: "Well I sleep just fine!" Therapist: "Did you even hear what she said? That she's struggling with sleeping?" It was good for your therapist to point this out. If I can make a comment well above my pay grade though, your focus in this thread seems to be on your relationship and the fact that your husband doesn't live up to your expectations, is insenstive or worse, etc. But you've identified yourself as having had an eating disorder, an alcoholic father (which of course is a form of child abuse), being homeless (a runaway?), the victim of two sexual assaults and having suffered physical abuse by a former boyfriend. That is a horrific list. You probably have PTSD as well as other conditions. Just seems to me that working through all of that (assuming you haven't fully worked through it, which I'm guessing is the case), should be the focal point. Whether or not you made a mistake marrying this fellow I think you'll be able to figure out in a relatively short time. But I don't think you're having suicidal ideations because your husband made awful comments about your weight. It goes much deeper than that and the focus on your husband as being the primary source of your current problems to me is likely misdirected, even if it turns out he's an insensitive jerk who you should leave for your own well being. Stay in therapy. Follow your doctor's advice. Take your medication if prescribed. Good luck! I agree with this. The frustration with your husband has deeper roots - sounds like it's PTSD and a reflection of your struggle on him. Same for his reaction to you - I am not taking his side, but I'm sure he feels threatened by what you are telling him, going to therapy, etc. However, it's the therapist/dr. who needs to get through to him and it might not be in a couple's therapy situation. I'm sure when the therapist asked him if he was noticing your struggles, he heard "Why are you not noticing your wife is struggling because of YOU? Don't you get it??" Actually, my therapist would have said it differently if this were my situation " Sounds like your wife is struggling with sleep. How does that make you feel? What comes to your mind?" That seems to start a conversation more than "Did you hear that?" Being stubborn and threatened like that is tough shell to crack - but work on YOU first. He will show his support if he wants to, but the marriage can't be the focus right now - YOU have to be. Also, feel free to dump the therapist if this person might not be the right fit. If he is, that's great, but if not - it's all professional. Find someone else. Love and hugs.

(deep breath) I'm not much to complain about mixing and stuff, but I think the CA audio cd is awful. Geddy sounds like he is standing about 10 feet from the microphone - I have bootlegs of this show that sound better :( I was very disappointed! And it sucks because this tour pretty much held a dream setlist for me. I fell in love with Rush with the 80's tunes and hearing them live in 2013? Incredible! I just wish it sounded like that on my copy. That said, the sound of the DVD in the theaters was way better and I'm expecting my Bluray copy to be the same quality (that's when Amazon decides to get the thing to me... supposedly Saturday!)

This reminds me of a story I have about being pissed when a "non-fan" won a meet in greet: Years ago, my local classic rock station had a breakfast party up by the lake. There were door prizes and two grand prizes - one was a hot tub, the other a M&G with Rush that weekend at the SPAC show. I was too young to attend this "drinking at 10am" party, but I listed to the radio morning show at home since they were broadcasting from there. Anyways, the DJs went to pick the grand prizes out of the hat of names. For some reason, they did the M&G one first and pick some dude's name out. "Congratulations to... "John" - you just won a M&G!!" to which drunken "John" stumbled up to the DJ stage and replied "oh...eh, I would have rather won the hot tub..." The DJ's said "Well, if that's the case - " but "John" interjected and said "Nah, I'll take the M&G... whatever..." and stumbled away. And I could hear the DJ say "No really! The Rush fans are going to kill me if I let you have this!!" "John" insisted he was happy with this prize when in reality, he sounded the exact opposite.. So, in other words, this man who was clearly not a Rush fan got a M&G ... and probably a real Rush fan got the stupid hot tub

Oh and this too: http://www.therushforum.com/index.php?/topic/75658-truth-about-love/ As you can see, I had a hard time too the first year or so... :)

I would highly HIGHLY encourage you and your husband (or even just you for now) to go through this website: http://conscious-transitions.com/ It debunks all of what marriage "is supposed to be" and why there is so much anxiety and fear when you are married to someone. Not having butterflies all the time is not a bad thing, you might not LIKE the person all the time, those sorts of things - which are OK and NORMAL. The site focuses on things pre-marriage but really hits on the core of relationships and what really matters. It has made a world of difference in my marriage simply because I had unrealistic expectations based on what society says and shows us. Remember - marriage is a transition, just like getting a new job, moving, losing someone in life - but we tend to treat it as this magical weapon that should never EVER be "off" - when nothing in real life is that way. Keeping communication open, honest and without yelling (hard sometimes!) is necessary. I like Mira's letter suggestion if you can see that working for you. My only red flag in this (to me) is his insensitivity to your eating disorder, but I know from experience (as I am one year in medically-treated recovery myself right now) is that unless the person you are talking to personally has such issues, no one else is going to get it. It's not because they don't want to, they just literally can't. Remarks that the person might think are harmless or all in good fun - or even meant to support you - can be tragic to those who struggle with food and body image. But he needs to know this and understand to the best of his ability. I wish you the best of luck!

Thanks all! Sorry I don't visit here more often :( Facebook and work has sucked up my daytime! Hope to see some of you this summer (SPAC and Hamilton shows) :7up:

SPAC presale this time around was yucky, for me anyways. Think I have like 24th row - not bad, but... And I kept seeing seats that I had in years past at this same venue! MusicToday must get the same seats to throw out each time.

http://www.rockabyebabymusic.com/rush.html I'm in love and want a baby now :P

Make it a two-fer. RRHOF induction ceremony, Rush show a following (or previous) night! I mean, they aren't touring Europe until May, and with a spring 2013 trip on the road, obviously this will be coordinated around it.

I was front row and lucky to WIN tickets. I loved every minute of it, but yes, it went by fast. I would say second row is pretty much the same, just on person in front of you... It did ruin me for future shows because if am more than 10 rows back, I get really cranky.

Geddy belly http://www.rushshowphotos.com/Rush2012/Col...62184&k=mhh44JM (too lazy to upload with photobucket..)

It's a fun song and I like it. Am I going to buy this guy's music or albums? Not a chance. But, it is what it is. I like having breaks from the seriousness of Rush and other music to wig out on things like this.

QUOTE (Chicken hawk @ Sep 21 2012, 10:39 AM) I almost went to Manchester....but decided Boston instead. So i hope that one is a special show. Manchester ... the first show must have been excellent ! it was!

I did it! I rode the full 100 miles around the lake. What an incredible day. Weather was a big chilly for riding, but really sunny and seasonable. There was ton of food along the way too, which kept us going. I was so glad I was able to participate in so something that made such a difference. All the riders yesterday in total raise over $260,000!! Remarkable - all that money goes towards saving lives and helping people with HIV live full productive lives. Thanks everyone who encouraged me to go the distance!!

QUOTE (ALifeson85 @ Sep 13 2012, 06:44 PM) Alex keeps f**king up his solos because his fat fingers are too fat. Geddy: "Isn't that a horrible feeling? The first time you pick up your instrument after you haven't played in a while, the strings feel so ginormous..." Alex: "I don't get that so much until I pick up a tuba. Then, I feel totally lost."

Xanadu would be awesome regardless of the setlist placement. Idk, I didn't mind WM as the ender of Set II; the Alex solo is fabulously indulgent.

QUOTE (Thunder Bay Rush @ Sep 14 2012, 10:29 AM) Oh, trust me, if I was working for someone else, I'd quit in two seconds! The problem is that I'm self-employed and I have to make hay when the moon shines, or however the hell that saying goes... If I don't go to do this contract, I'll be turning down $15K... gotta go. But, I'm still going to buy a large pack of Mydol today. SOB! And, I'll be watching my mailbox for a few of those big-ass chocolate chip cookies mentioned above... ugh. I sympathize as my husband is (literally) a farmer, so yes, when there is nice weather outside during the nice months, I'm sad because he is stuck working in the fields instead of catching rays on the beach with me

Why is it you "have" to go? I mean, really. What if you had this huge vacation planned around the world, bought and paid for and not really easily rescheduled? Can you remotely attend the work stuff during the day from the Rush cities? (Skype, email, chat, etc)? Does your work know you were taking this time off in the first place? (I don't know what it is you do, which may be the problem of me not helping you...)

Actually, I'm sorry Rush even started. Because the bar was set too damn high and it's nothing but disappointment as a result.

Rush, burning? http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/ae/mus...-angels-652948/

Bravado.

QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Sep 9 2012, 10:12 PM) Some of you need to grow the f**k up. "You don't like the setlist?!? MOM HE DOESN'T LIKE THE SETLIST!!" Seriously. A bunch of f***ing ten year olds. LOL

QUOTE (ReflectedLight @ Sep 9 2012, 07:42 PM) QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Sep 9 2012, 07:41 PM) They played Working Man. Quite well too. now there's a tune we haven't heard in a while. Psh. I could listen to Alex's live solo in that everyday for the rest of my life.

They played Working Man. Quite well too.