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Digital Man
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It seems women get stuck with all the bad luck in life...just read on:

 

 

menstruation

guynocologist

menopause

histerectamy

 

But at least there is herpes!!

 

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It is good to be a woman:

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3 Taxis stop for us.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.

13. We will never regret piercing our ears.

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

 

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QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Jan 25 2006, 06:50 AM)
It is good to be a woman:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

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QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Jan 25 2006, 05:50 AM)
It is good to be a woman:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

rofl3.gif Boy I'm proud to be a woman!!

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A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

A set of screwdrivers,

a cordless drill, and

a black lace bra...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

One friend who

Always makes her

Laugh...

And one

Who lets her cry...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

A good piece of furniture

not previously owned by

Anyone else in her family...

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

Eight matching plates,

Wine glasses with stems,

And a recipe for a meal that will

Make her guests feel honored.

 

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

A feeling of control over Her destiny...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

How to fall in love Without losing herself...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

When to try harder... and

WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

That she can't change

The length of her calves,

The width of her hips, or

The nature of her parents...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

That her childhood

May not have been Perfect...

but; It's over...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she would and Wouldn't

Do for love or more...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

How to live alone...

even if She doesn't like it...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

Whom she can trust, Whom she can't,

And why she shouldn't Take it personally...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

Where to go..

Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..

Or a charming inn in the woods...

When her soul needs soothing...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she can and can't accomplish

In a day...

A month...

And a year...

 

 

 

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

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QUOTE
MARRIAGE SEMINAR



While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it

 

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Tips on Getting More Efficiency from your Women Employees

 

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was written for male supervisors of women in the workforce during World War II, only 60+ years ago! The intent was not to be "funny".

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

1.) Pick young, married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters; they're less likely to be flirtatious; they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

 

2.) When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

 

3.) General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

 

4.) Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

 

5.) Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Women make excellent workers when they have their jobs set out for them, but they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

 

6.) Whenever possible, let the female employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

 

7.) Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make for some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

 

8.) Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

 

9.) Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

 

10.) Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

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QUOTE (Cygnus @ Feb 6 2006, 10:57 AM)
Tips on Getting More Efficiency from your Women Employees

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was written for male supervisors of women in the workforce during World War II, only 60+ years ago! The intent was not to be "funny".


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1.) Pick young, married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters; they're less likely to be flirtatious; they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2.) When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3.) General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4.) Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5.) Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Women make excellent workers when they have their jobs set out for them, but they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

6.) Whenever possible, let the female employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

7.) Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make for some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

8.) Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

9.) Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

10.) Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

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The Difference Between Men and Women - Haircuts

 

Women's Version:

 

Woman 2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

 

Woman 1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I

mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

 

Woman 2: Oh Gosh no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like

that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this

stuff,

I'm afraid.

 

Woman 1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could

easily get one of those layer cuts--that would look so cute I think. I was

actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long

neck.

 

Woman 2: Oh--that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take

attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

 

Woman 1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your

shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms--see

how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me

so much easier.

 

 

 

Men's Version:

 

Man 2: Haircut?

 

Man 1: Yeah

 

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YOU GOTTA LOVE TEXAS GIRLS!!!!

 

A girl from Texas and a girl from the east coast were seated side by side on an airplane.

 

The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said, "So where y'all from"?

 

The east coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence".

 

The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then she replied, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"

 

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