Just for fun

[chaotica]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 1 2006, 09:02 AM)

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. "What are you doing" She asked. He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law."

I needed a good laugh today!!! This did it thanks

[Cygnalschick]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 1 2006, 08:02 AM)

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. "What are you doing" She asked. He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law."

Good one Cygnus!

[blonde77th]

QUOTE (Cygnalschick @ May 1 2006, 10:44 AM)

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 1 2006, 08:02 AM) A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. "What are you doing" She asked. He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law." Good one Cygnus!

[CeeJ]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 1 2006, 09:02 AM)

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. "What are you doing" She asked. He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law."

 

 

omg...

 

good one!!!

[Cygnus]

Dear Tech Support:

 

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

 

Thanks,

Troubled User.....

_____________________________________

REPLY:

 

Dear Troubled User:

 

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

 

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

 

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support .

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional oftware.

I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

 

Best of luck,

Tech Support

[blonde77th]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 2 2006, 08:19 AM)

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... _____________________________________ REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 . However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional oftware. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system! Best of luck, Tech Support

[Daylin]

QUOTE (blonde77th @ May 2 2006, 08:55 AM)

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 2 2006, 08:19 AM) Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0  to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed  that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night  10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run  my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... _____________________________________ REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0  to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible  to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.  You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child  Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to  alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.  Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance .  Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 ,  Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .  However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will  cause  the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the  only  way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional oftware. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system! Best of luck, Tech Support

[anagramking]

WOMEN OVER FORTY

 

This is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes.

 

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just

a few reasons why:

 

A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and

ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman

over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining

about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something

more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured

in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past

the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

 

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match

with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of

course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think

they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often

undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40

has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger

woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't

trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're

attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a

woman over 40. They always know.

 

A woman over 40 looks good wearing

bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her

younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell

you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever

have to wonder where you stand with her.

 

Yes, we praise women over 40 for

a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every

stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy

relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old

waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the

cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize:

it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

[Rolinda Bonz]

QUOTE (anagramking @ May 2 2006, 08:52 PM)

WOMEN OVER FORTY This is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes. As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize: it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

Woohoooooo!

[Cygnus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/image003.gif

 

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately

spotted a large, beautiful parrot..

 

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

 

"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

 

The owner looked at her and said,

"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

 

The woman thought about this, but decided

she had to have the bird any way.

 

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up

in her living room and waited for it to say something.

 

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,

 

"New house, new madam."

 

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication,

but then thought "that's really not so bad."

 

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school

the bird saw and said,

"New house, new madam, new girls."

 

The girls and the woman were a bit offended

but then began to laugh about the situation

considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

 

Moments later, the woman's husband Wayne

came home from work.

 

The bird looked at him and said,

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/image005.gif

 

"Hi, Wayne!"

[Daylin]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 3 2006, 07:27 AM)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/image003.gif A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband Wayne came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/image005.gif "Hi, Wayne!"

[Daylin]

QUOTE (anagramking @ May 2 2006, 10:52 PM)

WOMEN OVER FORTY This is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes. As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize: it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

[chaotica]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 3 2006, 07:27 AM)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/image003.gif A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband Wayne came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/image005.gif "Hi, Wayne!"

ouch

 

[Cygnus]

Why we split up

 

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore

and I'd have to quit. Ok, I can understand that.

Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up, and I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the beer was for!!!!

 

I don't think she's coming back.............

 

 

 

[madra sneachta]

Four Catholics are having coffee together, discussing how important their

children are.

The first girl tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a

room, everyone calls him "Father." The second chirps, "Well, my son is a

bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third

says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever

he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman

sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle

"Well...?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2," hard bodied, well hung, male

stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, all the women say, "My God!!!"

 

 

 

 

[Arleen2112]

QUOTE (madra sneachta @ May 16 2006, 10:43 AM)

Four Catholics are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first girl tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father." The second chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2," hard bodied, well hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, all the women say, "My God!!!"

[blonde77th]

QUOTE (Daylin @ May 3 2006, 07:41 AM)

QUOTE (anagramking @ May 2 2006, 10:52 PM) WOMEN OVER FORTY This is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes. As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize: it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage. Right on

[Arleen2112]

2 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users):

Arleen2112, blonde77th

 

Hello

 

 

Laughter is the BEST medicine

 

[blonde77th]

QUOTE (Arleen2112 @ May 16 2006, 10:14 AM)

QUOTE (madra sneachta @ May 16 2006, 10:43 AM) Four Catholics are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first girl tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father." The second chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2," hard bodied, well hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, all the women say, "My God!!!"

[blonde77th]

QUOTE (Arleen2112 @ May 16 2006, 10:15 AM)

2 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users): Arleen2112, blonde77th Hello Laughter is the BEST medicine

HIiiiiiii

[blonde77th]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 16 2006, 08:04 AM)

Why we split up She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Ok, I can understand that. Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up, and I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for!!!! I don't think she's coming back.............

[Cygnus]

This is for all of you Bass fishermen and their wives.

 

Dear Dr.Phil

 

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing.

A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself. What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?

Thanks,

 

 

 

PS Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two bass we caught

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/bass.jpg

 

 

Dear Fisherman, Get rid of that narrow minded wife.

That's a nice pair of bass!

 

DR Phil

[Cygnus]

The bull

 

 

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the

breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a

sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife

playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See ... He mated 50

times last year ..that's once-a-week."

 

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

"This bull mated 120 times lastyear." The wife gave her husband a

healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a

lot from him."

 

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in

capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so

excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's

once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

 

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with

the same cow."

 

 

NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable

and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more surgeries he

will likely be okay.

[Der Trommler]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Jun 5 2006, 08:01 AM)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/bass.jpg Dear Fisherman, Get rid of that narrow minded wife. That's a nice pair of bass! DR Phil

 

A VERY nice pair indeed.....

[Want2bLikeBrutus]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Jun 5 2006, 07:01 AM)

This is for all of you Bass fishermen and their wives. Dear Dr.Phil When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing. A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself. What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists? Thanks, PS Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two bass we caught http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/bass.jpg Dear Fisherman, Get rid of that narrow minded wife. That's a nice pair of bass! DR Phil

UMMM......someone help me here...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not seeing the fish, there are supposed to be fish in the pic somewhere???