GhostGirl Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Dec 8 2005, 08:04 AM) QUOTE (Cygnus @ Nov 8 2005, 01:24 PM) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/00026317.jpg The goal of a Bitch... To dominate ...and to throw up all over her shirt? I thought the same thing! "The goal of a bitch is...to avoid doing laundry!"
Cygnus Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Cygnus Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 On the other side Q. Why don't women have any brains? A. Because they don't have penises to keep them in
sundog Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one o f them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Rolinda Bonz Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 QUOTE (sundog @ Dec 16 2005, 04:27 PM) REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one o f them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Daylin Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Dec 17 2005, 12:15 AM) QUOTE (sundog @ Dec 16 2005, 04:27 PM) REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one o f them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
sundog Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know.....it never happened) (C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!) And my personal favorite: 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
sundog Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/sundog918/snapdragons.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/sundog918/snapdragon2.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/sundog918/snapdragon3.gif
Trance Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 QUOTE (sundog @ Dec 19 2005, 10:54 PM) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
Cygnus Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/mobmain.gif
sundog Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/sundog918/fishing.jpg
ladirushfan80 Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 QUOTE (sundog @ Jan 8 2006, 09:35 AM) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/sundog918/fishing.jpg
sundog Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 40-ish................................49. Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone. Athletic...............................No breasts. Average looking....................Moooo. Beautiful..............................Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure................On medication. Feminist................................Fat. Free spirit............................Junkie. Friendship first......................Former slut. New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places. Old-fashioned.......................No BJs. Open-minded.......................Desperate. Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing. Professional..........................Bitch. Voluptuous..........................Very Fat. Large frame.........................Hugely Fat. Wants Soul mate..................Stalker. WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
Daylin Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 QUOTE (sundog @ Jan 8 2006, 09:13 AM) DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 40-ish................................49. Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone. Athletic...............................No breasts. Average looking....................Moooo. Beautiful..............................Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure................On medication. Feminist................................Fat. Free spirit............................Junkie. Friendship first......................Former slut. New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places. Old-fashioned.......................No BJs. Open-minded.......................Desperate. Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing. Professional..........................Bitch. Voluptuous..........................Very Fat. Large frame.........................Hugely Fat. Wants Soul mate..................Stalker. WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay These are so funny sis!
Cygnalschick Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 QUOTE Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Cygnus Posted January 9, 2006 Posted January 9, 2006 A young boy went to his father and asked, "Dad, what's the difference between theory and reality?" "Well, son, the best way to explain this is a practical exercise. Go ask your Mom if she'd sleep with a stranger for a million dollars and come tell me her answer." The boy returned and said, " She said she would, Dad." "OK," replied the father, "Go ask your sister the same question." The boy returned and said that his sister also answered "yes" to the question and then asked his Dad, "What's this got to do with theory and reality?" "It's simple, son. In theory, we live with millionaires. In reality, we live with a couple of sluts."
ladirushfan80 Posted January 10, 2006 Posted January 10, 2006 Bumper Stickers for women..... 1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME. 2. GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS. 3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING. 4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS. 5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG. 6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. . . SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH. 7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN. 8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN. 9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF. 10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN. 11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES? 12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES. 13. AND YOUR POINT IS...? 14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. 15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. 16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN. 17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP. 18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE. 19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. 20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY? 21. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT. 22. ANOTHER DOPELESS HOPE FIEND 23. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY. 24. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
sundog Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Jan 10 2006, 07:42 AM) 7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
Drumnut Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 QUOTE 4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS. This is more like my father.
Cygnus Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/111208.jpg
Daylin Posted January 13, 2006 Posted January 13, 2006 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Jan 13 2006, 08:46 AM) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/111208.jpg
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