Dweezil Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Dear Jerry, I love your show even though I shouldn't. Love a fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya_Big_Tree Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Dear Bathroom Scale, I'm pleased that we are finally seeing eye to eye once again. Me losing 37lbs might have something to do with that. Hopefully from now on our encounters will be full of good news and not as frustrating. Thank You, YaYa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Dear ______ I'm rather glad you packed your toys and went home. You arrogant jc loving bastard. Karma baby. Karma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted May 28, 2009 Author Share Posted May 28, 2009 Dear Christiano Ronaldo, Dork. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinwoodsman Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 Dear Rain, please stay away for another week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liquidcrystalcompass Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 Dear Customer, Why did you purchase a $50K automobile right before you closed on your home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 (edited) Dear _____, You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? Well, prepare to reap the whirlwind, my friend. Make no mistake, this is not revenge. This is a reckoning. I'm talking scorched earth. Nice knowing you. Edited May 28, 2009 by Jack Aubrey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 Dear Neighbor, Please stop feeding the feral cats. For one, I am sick and tired of them shitting all over my yard, and for two, they are a rabies risk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 QUOTE (Mara @ May 28 2009, 10:54 AM) Dear Neighbor, Please stop feeding the feral cats. For one, I am sick and tired of them shitting all over my yard, and for two, they are a rabies risk. Sounds like it's time to invest in an air rifle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ May 28 2009, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (Mara @ May 28 2009, 10:54 AM) Dear Neighbor, Please stop feeding the feral cats. For one, I am sick and tired of them shitting all over my yard, and for two, they are a rabies risk. Sounds like it's time to invest in an air rifle! Think the Glock would be overkill? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 QUOTE (Mara @ May 28 2009, 11:40 AM) QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ May 28 2009, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (Mara @ May 28 2009, 10:54 AM) Dear Neighbor, Please stop feeding the feral cats. For one, I am sick and tired of them shitting all over my yard, and for two, they are a rabies risk. Sounds like it's time to invest in an air rifle! Think the Glock would be overkill? Considering the cost of ammo nowadays, yes it would! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baxtrice Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Dear _____, Tomorrow is the third interview. I've made it past the phone interview and the casual interview. I have the skills and qualifications you require. I probably have more knowledge and skills and than that 16 year old booger eating high schooler you have working for you presently. I have a college degree for the love! I'm not asking for much, but please hire me. Thank you for your time. ~baxtrice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Dear _____, I love ya child but you are working my last nerve. You have got to take a nap little man. As much as you think you can drop this nap, you still need it. And don't think I don't hear you up there playing with your toys and please stop moving your furniture around, strategically placing it under the pictures in your room to get them down off the wall. I don't need little hands touching pictures with glass frames and taking nails out of the walls. Sincerely, Mama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Dear Tylenol, You need to work a little faster. Sincerely, Mama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 (edited) Dear Cat, Please stop meowing. The Tylenol has not kicked in yet and the kid is upstairs trashing his room. I can barely think over your incessant pleas for attention and my child playing his favorite nursery rhyme toy over and over and over again. Sincerely, Mama (again) P.S. Tiny baby, please stop practicing martial arts on my delicate, extremely important vital organs. Edited May 29, 2009 by Janie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Dear Gross Dude at Gas Station, Just because I talked to you at the gas pump island does not mean I am interested in going out with you. And when I told you that I am married, "no one has to know" is the wrong response. FYI, the answer would still be "no" even if I wasn't married, because you are clearly a douche-tastic fuckstain. Vomitingly, Mara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 QUOTE (Mara @ May 30 2009, 11:41 PM) Dear Gross Dude at Gas Station, Just because I talked to you at the gas pump island does not mean I am interested in going out with you. And when I told you that I am married, "no one has to know" is the wrong response. FYI, the answer would still be "no" even if I wasn't married, because you are clearly a douche-tastic fuckstain. Vomitingly, Mara fuckstain... that made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 QUOTE (Mara @ May 30 2009, 11:41 PM) Dear Gross Dude at Gas Station, Just because I talked to you at the gas pump island does not mean I am interested in going out with you. And when I told you that I am married, "no one has to know" is the wrong response. FYI, the answer would still be "no" even if I wasn't married, because you are clearly a douche-tastic fuckstain. Vomitingly, Mara Classic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Sphinc-Tor Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 QUOTE (Mara @ May 30 2009, 11:41 PM) Dear Gross Dude at Gas Station, Just because I talked to you at the gas pump island does not mean I am interested in going out with you. And when I told you that I am married, "no one has to know" is the wrong response. FYI, the answer would still be "no" even if I wasn't married, because you are clearly a douche-tastic fuckstain. Vomitingly, Mara Oh...uhhhhh....Sorry Mara...didn't know it was you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 QUOTE (Prince Sphinc-Tor @ May 31 2009, 11:53 AM) QUOTE (Mara @ May 30 2009, 11:41 PM) Dear Gross Dude at Gas Station, Just because I talked to you at the gas pump island does not mean I am interested in going out with you. And when I told you that I am married, "no one has to know" is the wrong response. FYI, the answer would still be "no" even if I wasn't married, because you are clearly a douche-tastic fuckstain. Vomitingly, Mara Oh...uhhhhh....Sorry Mara...didn't know it was you.... And I am sorry for dousing you with gasoline and chasing you across the parking lot with the lighter held aloft. Truce? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Dear Little Man, I'm thrilled that you found a new way to keep yourself entertained but, really, I did not need to just spend the last 30 minutes unplugging the toilet because you wadded up an entire roll of tp and tried flushing it along with a few small toys I'm sure. Thanks, Mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 QUOTE (Janie @ Jun 3 2009, 04:44 PM) Dear Little Man, I'm thrilled that you found a new way to keep yourself entertained but, really, I did not need to just spend the last 30 minutes unplugging the toilet because you wadded up an entire roll of tp and tried flushing it along with a few small toys I'm sure. Thanks, Mom Wait until he tries flushing the bath linens. I did this, as did my sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nettiesaur Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Dear State legislator idiot, Why do you think that every child in a school where 10 percent or more of the kids speak Spanish needs to have bilingual education? Those kids who don't speak Spanish don't need it, and if the parents wanted the program, they'd go to the public schools. This is just another effort to kill the voucher program here.(yup, it's only for the private, "voucher " schools, not the public schools). signed Furious teacher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionman Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Dear hospice people, Thank you for the help with my dad. It's the most help I've had in 4 years even though I have a brother and 2 sisters that all live within 20 miles that won't help at all. You hospice guys are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks again, Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nettiesaur Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 QUOTE (missionman @ Jun 6 2009, 02:57 AM) Dear hospice people, Thank you for the help with my dad. It's the most help I've had in 4 years even though I have a brother and 2 sisters that all live within 20 miles that won't help at all. You hospice guys are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks again, Mark Dear MM, Nettie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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