TRF Prediction Thread and Roast: Rushgoober's 30,000th post

[H. P. L.]

Lorraine,

 

I was very sad to read your post. I went to inform The Sisters of Mercy of The Blessed Virgin of the Seven Great Pains, and the mother superior, Sister Rosalia, said to me that "If she wants to take the path to God, there's no such trivial things as borders policy and airlines security that can stand in her way!".

Then she lifted her giant broadsword (she has seven of them besides her desk!) and made a few calls.

Just say the word and you can have a private jet waiting for you. No identifying marks, no questions asked, no boarding policy. Diplomatic treatment. You can even have a spiritual advisor on board. Just say the word.

Behold the power of The Sisters of Mercy of The Blessed Virgin of the Seven Great Pains!

[Tombstone Mountain]

DAZED AND CONFUSED AT THE DEW: Day 11

 

As we await the trial of our bantam comrade Goober, the tribulations of our stay at the Dew have taken a heavy toll on Lorraine. After returning from a nearly twenty-four absence this morning, presumably to retrieve a simple Pez dispenser for Goober with Lakeisha, she suddenly announced that she would be departing for Rome. She frantically packed her belongings, and kept repeating the phrase, "what has he ever done for me". As she stumbled toward the door, she mentioned something about rolling in the brambles and talking to the birds. I fear for her sanity. Perhaps she'll spend the night at the airport hotel and have a change of heart in the morning.

 

If fretting about Lorraine roaming the streets of Southern California in a disturbed state wasn't enough of a burden, I now find myself saddled with Tombstone. His "interview" with the 7COG dancers now complete, he's most likely persona non grata at Flynt's manse. I'm sure he'd much rather stay at the Soak and Poke, but I suspect he's installed himself here in order to shower me with bogus reassurances that my rather hasty decision to come to Goober's aid wasn't a monumental blunder.

 

Naturally, Tombstone brought along his constant companion, that wretched chimpanzee. My earlier fears that he was engaged in some unspeakably debauched activity with the poor creature appear to have been unfounded. He seems to have some strange rapport with that animal. When they frolic together it's as though Tombstone is lost in a world all his own, as if their minds were operating on the same level. He's presently teaching it to use the finger cymbals Lorraine forgot to take with her. I just hope it's not one of those feces throwing primates.

 

It's some small consolation that Tombstone travels with an extensive collection of Herzog films, and I may have spied a few packages of dehydrated morels among his possessions, so perhaps the day won't end on such a sour note after all.

 

Maybe a rejuvenated Lorraine will even turn up at our door tomorrow.

How did I get the chimp again? This thread is 28 pages now an d I can't recall.

 

On the Goobs front...if you wanna support the antichrist go right ahead—I cast my lot with the Pope after Sunday mass

 

http://www.therushfo...80#entry3019099

 

http://www.therushfo...20#entry3020436

 

http://www.therushfo...60#entry3021674

 

http://www.therushfo...80#entry3021919

 

http://www.therushfo...60#entry3023076

 

http://www.therushfo...80#entry3024556

 

The chimp is mentioned, albeit briefly, in each of these posts.

 

You must still be suffering from jet lag. :P

Yeah that's the ticket. I lost the chimp coming off the plane...didn't like the pet compartment I guess.

[HomesickAlien]

THE THISTLE DEW: Day 12

 

Did I say 12?

 

 

As day twelve of operation Justice for Goober comes to a close, and the number of protesters at the jail dwindles to something akin to the number of people who read this thread, I find myself overwhelmed with despair and regret.

 

Lorraine, my erstwhile traveling companion and fellow protester, now finds herself detained by Homeland Security at LAX. Her nervous behavior and refusal to surrender the Michael Jackson doll triggered a more extensive search by TSA agents, who found the Vapor Trolls Pez dispenser. Convinced that the candies the little curio contained were a new designer drug called the Vapors, they subjected her to an exhaustive background check. At last word she was muttering something about hopping an ocean liner to Italy. She's paid a heavy price for her allegiance to Goober.

 

Since I try to spend as little time as possible at the Thistle Dew, today I went to the largely deserted jailhouse grounds to "protest" Goober's incarceration. What I really planned on doing was propping my "Justice for Goober" sign against the nearest fig tree and spending the day reading a good book. At least it would appear that I was still making an effort. As I drove into the parking lot, I saw an attractive woman with long, dark hair hop into a grey Aston Martin and speed away. Could it have been who I thought it was?

 

I normally try to avoid Deputy Fife, but curiosity got the best of me. As I entered the jail lobby, there he sat at the information desk, a smirk on his face and a huge stack of documents in front of him. When I asked him if Neil's wife, Carrie, had just left, he said indeed she had. He said that she was delivering the transcripts of Neil's blog entries that he had requested. He went on to say that he was aware of how Goober constantly complains about Neil's "blather-laden" blog posts on TRF, and that he planned on reading all of them aloud well within earshot of Goober's cell. "That'll teach the little prick", he exclaimed. I thanked him for his time and quickly excused myself.

 

I stood in the parking lot in shock. I realized that Goober would consider this a form of torture worse than waterboarding. However, shock soon turned to delight. Maybe this was just what the little prick deserved. Overwhelmed with shame for the sudden feelings of ill will that I had toward poor little Goober, I returned to the Thistle Dew.

 

Tombstone has been gone most of the day, no doubt preparing for Goober's impending trial. You'd think that since we're now roommates he would give me the inside scoop on some of the information he's uncovered. . .

 

I have to go. Norman asked me to go to the local Costco to pick up more chocolate syrup. Don't ask.

[CygnusGal]

I've listened to Lorraine and used the pigeon. Spacious. The gerbil was upset that she didn't get her $50 and has refused to work with me again. The pigeon will work for scratch and I think I'm less likely to get scuppered, although I have no idea what that means.

 

Thank goodness you made it out of the Thistle Dew intact and I hope Lorraine survived her jog to Neverland. This Larry Flynt guy is pretty nice. He has cameras everywhere. For the past few hours I've been watching a black and white feed from a small cafe. I have to say the host is very hospitable and the girl he keeps talking with is so beautiful - I wonder if she dances? - but she seems pretty upset. Maybe it is all of the Nazis running around. The piano player is very good too. But everytime he plays this one song, the host gets really mad and tells him to stop. It must be hard to run an American cafe in a foreign land when it is filled with Nazis and the girl you love shows up with a mysterious fellow that she claims is her husband and then has to act like that crazy weekend in Paris was ... oh, wait...this isn't closed circuit TV?...uh, oh...

 

More details arise regarding the VIKINGS plans. Goober keeps them in NORWAY (Neverland Owned Repository of Wee Actor Youths). The VIKINGS will be coming from NORWAY on their BOATS (Bicycles Only Available To Small people). As near as I can tell, the plan is to LOOT (Leave Observers Openly Talking) and to PILLAGE (Play Increasingly Loud and Long Anthems against Gnome Etiquette) the villages around the courthouse. They would also like to see a football game in Minnesota. I'm still unsure about how this will impact the SCOG Dancers and the BRAWLRs. Goober is a clever leader.

 

I saw a very strange address on Sunday by the Pope in Rome. Apparently, I can be captain and he will draw the charts as we sail into destiny. Truly, the most inspirational message that I have heard from the Holy See.

 

The YIKES training was invaluable, but it would all be for naught had I not received the early start provided by the International Anne Murray Acclaimed School for Needed Outdoor Wiles and Building Ice Reinforced Domes (IAMASNOWBIRD).

[Tombstone Mountain]

THE THISTLE DEW: Day 12

 

Did I say 12?

 

 

As day twelve of operation Justice for Goober comes to a close, and the number of protesters at the jail dwindles to something akin to the number of people who read this thread, I find myself overwhelmed with despair and regret.

 

Lorraine, my erstwhile traveling companion and fellow protester, now finds herself detained by Homeland Security at LAX. Her nervous behavior and refusal to surrender the Michael Jackson doll triggered a more extensive search by TSA agents, who found the Vapor Trolls Pez dispenser. Convinced that the candies the little curio contained were a new designer drug called the Vapors, they subjected her to an exhaustive background check. At last word she was muttering something about hopping an ocean liner to Italy. She's paid a heavy price for her allegiance to Goober.

 

Since I try to spend as little time as possible at the Thistle Dew, today I went to the largely deserted jailhouse grounds to "protest" Goober's incarceration. What I really planned on doing was propping my "Justice for Goober" sign against the nearest fig tree and spending the day reading a good book. At least it would appear that I was still making an effort. As I drove into the parking lot, I saw an attractive woman with long, dark hair hop into a grey Aston Martin and speed away. Could it have been who I thought it was?

 

I normally try to avoid Deputy Fife, but curiosity got the best of me. As I entered the jail lobby, there he sat at the information desk, a smirk on his face and a huge stack of documents in front of him. When I asked him if Neil's wife, Carrie, had just left, he said indeed she had. He said that she was delivering the transcripts of Neil's blog entries that he had requested. He went on to say that he was aware of how Goober constantly complains about Neil's "blather-laden" blog posts on TRF, and that he planned on reading all of them aloud well within earshot of Goober's cell. "That'll teach the little prick", he exclaimed. I thanked him for his time and quickly excused myself.

 

I stood in the parking lot in shock. I realized that Goober would consider this a form of torture worse than waterboarding. However, shock soon turned to delight. Maybe this was just what the little prick deserved. Overwhelmed with shame for the sudden feelings of ill will that I had toward poor little Goober, I returned to the Thistle Dew.

 

Tombstone has been gone most of the day, no doubt preparing for Goober's impending trial. You'd think that since we're now roommates he would give me the inside scoop on some of the information he's uncovered. . .

 

I have to go. Norman asked me to go to the local Costco to pick up more chocolate syrup. Don't ask.

Poor Goober?!? Kinda sympathy for the devil am I not correct? Remember the nose.

[Tombstone Mountain]

I've listened to Lorraine and used the pigeon. Spacious. The gerbil was upset that she didn't get her $50 and has refused to work with me again. The pigeon will work for scratch and I think I'm less likely to get scuppered, although I have no idea what that means.

 

Thank goodness you made it out of the Thistle Dew intact and I hope Lorraine survived her jog to Neverland. This Larry Flynt guy is pretty nice. He has cameras everywhere. For the past few hours I've been watching a black and white feed from a small cafe. I have to say the host is very hospitable and the girl he keeps talking with is so beautiful - I wonder if she dances? - but she seems pretty upset. Maybe it is all of the Nazis running around. The piano player is very good too. But everytime he plays this one song, the host gets really mad and tells him to stop. It must be hard to run an American cafe in a foreign land when it is filled with Nazis and the girl you love shows up with a mysterious fellow that she claims is her husband and then has to act like that crazy weekend in Paris was ... oh, wait...this isn't closed circuit TV?...uh, oh...

 

More details arise regarding the VIKINGS plans. Goober keeps them in NORWAY (Neverland Owned Repository of Wee Actor Youths). The VIKINGS will be coming from NORWAY on their BOATS (Bicycles Only Available To Small people). As near as I can tell, the plan is to LOOT (Leave Observers Openly Talking) and to PILLAGE (Play Increasingly Loud and Long Anthems against Gnome Etiquette) the villages around the courthouse. They would also like to see a football game in Minnesota. I'm still unsure about how this will impact the SCOG Dancers and the BRAWLRs. Goober is a clever leader.

 

I saw a very strange address on Sunday by the Pope in Rome. Apparently, I can be captain and he will draw the charts as we sail into destiny. Truly, the most inspirational message that I have heard from the Holy See.

 

The YIKES training was invaluable, but it would all be for naught had I not received the early start provided by the International Anne Murray Acclaimed School for Needed Outdoor Wiles and Building Ice Reinforced Domes (IAMASNOWBIRD).

Norway. Still laughing at that one. Crazy stuff—you fit right in!

[Lorraine]

Norway! My husband is Norwegian (strange folks ). Can I send him back with the VIKINGS when they return? :lol:

 

(Only teasing, dear! In case you read this. ;) )

[HomesickAlien]

To whom it may concern:

 

As much as I'd like to stay at the Thistle Dew and dine on smoked emu with Tombstone for Thanksgiving, my long-lost aunt in Goleta has invited me to her house to spend the day. Therefore, there will be no update from the Dew tonight (I can almost hear the sighs of relief ).

 

I'm sure something interesting Goober-related will occur, so I'll take copious notes and tell you all about it in tomorrow's update.

 

TM, don't go rummaging through my belongings while I'm gone.

 

 

 

:hi:

[Lorraine]

To whom it may concern:

 

As much as I'd like to stay at the Thistle Dew and dine on smoked emu with Tombstone for Thanksgiving, my long-lost aunt in Goleta has invited me to her house to spend the day. Therefore, there will be no update from the Dew tonight (I can almost hear the sighs of relief ).

 

I'm sure something interesting Goober-related will occur, so I'll take copious notes and tell you all about it in tomorrow's update.

 

TM, don't go rummaging through my belongings while I'm gone.

 

 

 

:hi:

 

Wait! Substance!! You're not leaving me here alone, are you?? Whatever will I do at the Dew all by myself? And on Thanksgiving?

 

:(

[Lorraine]

How many days now is it since anyone has even seen RushGoober signed in? Maybe we pushed him away all together. I have noticed though that a few people have read this thread. I can account for maybe eighty viewings, but who are the other five thousand????

[Lorraine]

Can gerbils read?

[HomesickAlien]

To whom it may concern:

 

As much as I'd like to stay at the Thistle Dew and dine on smoked emu with Tombstone for Thanksgiving, my long-lost aunt in Goleta has invited me to her house to spend the day. Therefore, there will be no update from the Dew tonight (I can almost hear the sighs of relief ).

 

I'm sure something interesting Goober-related will occur, so I'll take copious notes and tell you all about it in tomorrow's update.

 

TM, don't go rummaging through my belongings while I'm gone.

 

 

 

:hi:

 

Wait! Substance!! You're not leaving me here alone, are you?? Whatever will I do at the Dew all by myself? And on Thanksgiving?

 

:(

 

Lorraine, you're back!

 

I was afraid Homeland Security had thrown you in Gitmo.

 

You won't be alone while I'm gone; Tombstone has taken up residence at the Thistle Dew. If he asks you to pull his finger, don't do it. I learned why this is a mistake the hard way.

 

I'm hitching a ride to Goleta with Kato, and he's blowing the horn. I have to go.

 

See you tomorrow night.

[Lorraine]

:o

[losingit2k]

To whom it may concern:

 

As much as I'd like to stay at the Thistle Dew and dine on smoked emu with Tombstone for Thanksgiving, my long-lost aunt in Goleta has invited me to her house to spend the day. Therefore, there will be no update from the Dew tonight (I can almost hear the sighs of relief ).

 

I'm sure something interesting Goober-related will occur, so I'll take copious notes and tell you all about it in tomorrow's update.

 

TM, don't go rummaging through my belongings while I'm gone.

 

 

 

:hi:

 

Wait! Substance!! You're not leaving me here alone, are you?? Whatever will I do at the Dew all by myself? And on Thanksgiving?

 

:(

 

Lorraine, you're back!

 

I was afraid Homeland Security had thrown you in Gitmo.

 

You won't be alone while I'm gone; Tombstone has taken up residence at the Thistle Dew. If he asks you to pull his finger, don't do it. I learned why this is a mistake the hard way.

 

I'm hitching a ride to Goleta with Kato, and he's blowing the horn. I have to go.

 

See you tomorrow night.

Being sent to Gitmo....You don't know how close to the truth you are!

[Tombstone Mountain]

To whom it may concern:

 

As much as I'd like to stay at the Thistle Dew and dine on smoked emu with Tombstone for Thanksgiving, my long-lost aunt in Goleta has invited me to her house to spend the day. Therefore, there will be no update from the Dew tonight (I can almost hear the sighs of relief ).

 

I'm sure something interesting Goober-related will occur, so I'll take copious notes and tell you all about it in tomorrow's update.

 

TM, don't go rummaging through my belongings while I'm gone.

 

 

 

:hi:

 

Wait! Substance!! You're not leaving me here alone, are you?? Whatever will I do at the Dew all by myself? And on Thanksgiving?

 

:(

 

Lorraine, you're back!

 

I was afraid Homeland Security had thrown you in Gitmo.

 

You won't be alone while I'm gone; Tombstone has taken up residence at the Thistle Dew. If he asks you to pull his finger, don't do it. I learned why this is a mistake the hard way.

 

I'm hitching a ride to Goleta with Kato, and he's blowing the horn. I have to go.

 

See you tomorrow night.

Being sent to Gitmo....You don't know how close to the truth you are!

Do they have a soccer team there? Every time I see video from there seems a soccer match is going on

[JohnnyBlaze]

This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

[Lorraine]

This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

I suspect he just can't stop listening to Vapor Trails remix, and maybe he feels too sheepish coming back and admitting it really isn't that bad of an album after all.

[Tombstone Mountain]

This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

I suspect he just can't stop listening to Vapor Trails remix, and maybe he feels too sheepish coming back and admitting it really isn't that bad of an album after all.

My thoughts are he'll try to top it.

[Tombstone Mountain]

This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

I suspect he just can't stop listening to Vapor Trails remix, and maybe he feels too sheepish coming back and admitting it really isn't that bad of an album after all.

My thoughts are he'll try to top it.

[losingit2k]

To whom it may concern:

 

As much as I'd like to stay at the Thistle Dew and dine on smoked emu with Tombstone for Thanksgiving, my long-lost aunt in Goleta has invited me to her house to spend the day. Therefore, there will be no update from the Dew tonight (I can almost hear the sighs of relief ).

 

I'm sure something interesting Goober-related will occur, so I'll take copious notes and tell you all about it in tomorrow's update.

 

TM, don't go rummaging through my belongings while I'm gone.

 

 

 

:hi:

 

Wait! Substance!! You're not leaving me here alone, are you?? Whatever will I do at the Dew all by myself? And on Thanksgiving?

 

:(

 

Lorraine, you're back!

 

I was afraid Homeland Security had thrown you in Gitmo.

 

You won't be alone while I'm gone; Tombstone has taken up residence at the Thistle Dew. If he asks you to pull his finger, don't do it. I learned why this is a mistake the hard way.

 

I'm hitching a ride to Goleta with Kato, and he's blowing the horn. I have to go.

 

See you tomorrow night.

Being sent to Gitmo....You don't know how close to the truth you are!

Do they have a soccer team there? Every time I see video from there seems a soccer match is going on

Yeah , They use the head of their last snitch as the ball. :outtahere:

[losingit2k]

This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

I suspect he just can't stop listening to Vapor Trails remix, and maybe he feels too sheepish coming back and admitting it really isn't that bad of an album after all.

My thoughts are he'll try to top it.

Don't hold your breath. It will be extremely hard to top this thread. :codger:

Edited November 28, 2013 by losingit2k

[Lorraine]

This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

I suspect he just can't stop listening to Vapor Trails remix, and maybe he feels too sheepish coming back and admitting it really isn't that bad of an album after all.

My thoughts are he'll try to top it.

Don't hold your breath. Its will extremely hard to top this thread. :codger:

We will just have to hold tight and wait and see. But I do agree. How could he ever top this thread?

 

I hope I do not live to regret that last question.

[Tombstone Mountain]

This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

I suspect he just can't stop listening to Vapor Trails remix, and maybe he feels too sheepish coming back and admitting it really isn't that bad of an album after all.

My thoughts are he'll try to top it.

Don't hold your breath. Its will extremely hard to top this thread. :codger:

We will just have to hold tight and wait and see. But I do agree. How could he ever top this thread?

 

I hope I do not live to regret that last question.

C'Mon people—he's sitting back in his chair thinking " 30,000th post is gonna be HUGE"! Perhaps a Jan Wenner redux article.

[default236]

Wtf did I just read!? This is golden! :LMAO: Some pin this thread until the 30,000th post! 73, are you listening??

[H. P. L.]

I have noticed though that a few people have read this thread. I can account for maybe eighty viewings, but who are the other five thousand????

My fans. :P :P :P :P :lol: :lol: :lol: