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TRF Prediction Thread and Roast: Rushgoober's 30,000th post


Tombstone Mountain
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You know he's planning on something to document the occasion  

24 members have voted

  1. 1. What will his thread topic be?

    • A thanks to TRF for the years of support?
      3
    • Another malignant VT thread
      6
    • A thread asking the question "why do so many people here care what I think?"
      1
    • Why BU2B2 ruins Clockwork Angels
      2
    • Rushgoober's top 500 commercials off all time
      0
    • Rushgoober's top 500 recipes for hippies
      1
    • Top Ten Movies that make Rushgoober cry
      2
    • Pink Floyd: Overtaking Rush as my favorite band
      0
    • Why Krautrock makes me space out
      0
    • Headlong Flight, how it grew on me, and why people say dumb stuff
      0
    • Gerbils: Curiousity didn't just kill the cat
      1
    • I love how Neil describes wildlife, and here's why
      2
    • Rush concerts that live in my psyche
      0
    • Ben Affleck
      3
    • Behind the Candlabra—movie of the year
      3


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This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

I suspect he just can't stop listening to Vapor Trails remix, and maybe he feels too sheepish coming back and admitting it really isn't that bad of an album after all.

My thoughts are he'll try to top it.

Don't hold your breath. Its will extremely hard to top this thread. :codger:

We will just have to hold tight and wait and see. But I do agree. How could he ever top this thread?

 

I hope I do not live to regret that last question.

C'Mon people—he's sitting back in his chair thinking " 30,000th post is gonna be HUGE"! Perhaps a Jan Wenner redux article.

 

I've got no idea how Goobs is going to top this thread..! :P

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I have noticed though that a few people have read this thread. I can account for maybe eighty viewings, but who are the other five thousand????

My fans. :P :P :P :P :LOL: :lol: :LOL: :lol: :LOL: :lol:

and they are legion! Edited by Tombstone Mountain
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This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

The Yukon Blade Grinder is here to serve

Today Goobs is probably thankful another edition of the YBG didn't come out. Too bad tomorrow will have one—black Friday!
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This thread has done what no other TRFer or thread has before: Shut rushgoober up.

I can't believe it.

It hasn't shut him up. His absence is due to his recent epiphany. He didn't want to be a toy maker. He wanted to be a dentist.
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THE THISTLE DEW: Day 14

 

That's right, I said 14. :sigh:

 

 

After a much needed, and all too brief, respite at my aunt's in Goleta, Kato arrived late this afternoon to chauffeur me back to our freaky little flophouse. As we chugged along in his rusty old Bronco, he said that he had noticed an ambulance in the jail parking lot when he was on his way to pick me up. I reluctantly suggested that we should go check it out.

 

Upon our arrival at the jail, I saw Deputy Fife standing just outside the door; he was obviously shaken. I asked him what was going on, and he said that reading Neil's blog entries to Goober was a terrible mistake. He said that Goober had flown into a rage, banging his head against the wall, cursing, screaming, and throwing his own feces at anyone in sight. However, Deputy Fife assured me that Goober was now receiving the best possible care. Fortunately, Doctor Conrad Murray was on call when emergency services got word of Goober's condition.

 

Just then, Doc Murray emerged from the jail. He said that it had taken an unusually large dose of Thorazine to calm the "little fella". He added that he considered using propofol, but one of his former patients once had a "very bad reaction" to it, so now he tries to avoid it whenever possible.

 

Dismayed, I told Kato that we really needed to get back to the Thistle Dew. I was anxious to see how Lorraine and Tombstone had gotten along in my absence.

 

I was expecting a warm welcome from my steadfast comrades, but I was greeted by an empty motel room. Lorraine and Tombstone had gone to the Brisbane Bottoms Bar and Grill for Thanksgiving. In their note, they also said that they planned on going to a club after dinner, and told me not to wait up. I decided to watch one of Tombstone's Herzog movies and go to bed early, but I heard music coming from down the hall. . .

 

The music (ABBA's Dancing Queen) was coming from Norman's room. The door was open just a crack, and despite the fact that I knew I would regret it, I cautiously crept closer to take a peek inside. There was Norman, modeling Lorraine's 7COG dancer outfit in front of the mirror. I also noticed that he had blown up the photos he'd taken of me on the roof to poster size, and had them plastered all over the walls! Horrified, I ran back to my room, locked the door and jumped into bed, my only comfort the stuffed llama that I'd purchased for Goober.

 

How long will this nightmare continue?

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Not much to do on this side of the ocean but wait and pray.

Sister Rosalia, the mother superior of The Sisters of Mercy of The Blessed Virgin of the Seven Great Pains, has become some kind of advisor for me. She's clearly a woman from the south of Italy, brown skin, mighty eyebrows, big lips. She'd have Darkthrone running scared and even the devil himself. The fact that she keeps seven broadswords by her desk is a plus.

"So she's not coming?" asked me today.

"I don't know. No words from her"

"Let's keep the faith alive".

"Yeah, let's".

I show her OrsonSubstance's reports from the sinister, soon-to-be-a-King-Diamond-album Thistle Dew.

"This kind of devotion is admirable" sister Rosalia said. "I'll pray for him".

So, Substance, take comfort in the fact that, spiritually at least, you are not alone.

Edited by H. P. L.
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THE THISTLE DEW: Day 14

 

That's right, I said 14. :sigh:

 

 

After a much needed, and all too brief, respite at my aunt's in Goleta, Kato arrived late this afternoon to chauffeur me back to our freaky little flophouse. As we chugged along in his rusty old Bronco, he said that he had noticed an ambulance in the jail parking lot when he was on his way to pick me up. I reluctantly suggested that we should go check it out.

 

Upon our arrival at the jail, I saw Deputy Fife standing just outside the door; he was obviously shaken. I asked him what was going on, and he said that reading Neil's blog entries to Goober was a terrible mistake. He said that Goober had flown into a rage, banging his head against the wall, cursing, screaming, and throwing his own feces at anyone in sight. However, Deputy Fife assured me that Goober was now receiving the best possible care. Fortunately, Doctor Conrad Murray was on call when emergency services got word of Goober's condition.

 

Just then, Doc Murray emerged from the jail. He said that it had taken an unusually large dose of Thorazine to calm the "little fella". He added that he considered using propofol, but one of his former patients once had a "very bad reaction" to it, so now he tries to avoid it whenever possible.

 

Dismayed, I told Kato that we really needed to get back to the Thistle Dew. I was anxious to see how Lorraine and Tombstone had gotten along in my absence.

 

I was expecting a warm welcome from my steadfast comrades, but I was greeted by an empty motel room. Lorraine and Tombstone had gone to the Brisbane Bottoms Bar and Grill for Thanksgiving. In their note, they also said that they planned on going to a club after dinner, and told me not to wait up. I decided to watch one of Tombstone's Herzog movies and go to bed early, but I heard music coming from down the hall. . .

 

The music (ABBA's Dancing Queen) was coming from Norman's room. The door was open just a crack, and despite the fact that I knew I would regret it, I cautiously crept closer to take a peek inside. There was Norman, modeling Lorraine's 7COG dancer outfit in front of the mirror. I also noticed that he had blown up the photos he'd taken of me on the roof to poster size, and had them plastered all over the walls! Horrified, I ran back to my room, locked the door and jumped into bed, my only comfort the stuffed llama that I'd purchased for Goober.

 

How long will this nightmare continue?

Heh. Heh heh. Was he video taping himself, saying all kinds of "dirty" stuff? Did he call his dog, Precious?
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The Yukon Blade Grinder

Black Friday Edition

 

 

11.27.13

Santa Barbara Courthouse

 

After the Thanksgiving holiday there’s much activity in the public square of Santa Barbara. As the wheels of justice turn, rumors circulating among the elite media have turned out to be true. While most people in America are out shopping till their hearts content, the Yukon Blade Grinder is hard at work swimming with the sharks of the media elite.

 

The story of the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” cult continues to asphyxiate mainstream North America like the wafting aroma of a fart, but no worries, the Yukon Blade Grinder has it in the bag. Nitty-gritty details have been leaked by several sources close to the action, as former cellmates have stepped forward eager to shovel more dirt on the grave of one Rush T. Goober. To the members of the British Repertoires Acclaimed Wee Legion, the “T” stands for “turncoat”, to Santa Barbara’s recent veterans of their highly esteemed penal system—it’s “Twinkles”—as in Robert Pattinson’s vampire role in the Twilight saga. Now the story creeps forward.

 

Yes, the Yukon Blade Grinder has all kinds of news to report. Santa Barbara Sheriff Ron Howard’s press conference offered a quite a resounding end to the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” case. Though a once spiraling, out of control situation, the city has taken a problem by the horns and handed it off to another country, but more of that later.

 

It’s hard to predict an outcome with so many levels of legal complexity, but there are telltale signs. Superstar lawyer/prodigious novelist John Grisham issued a statement before today’s press conference confirming his business decision to abandon his client due to “improbable odds of victory”. The Yukon Blade Grinder knows why.

 

After 20 days of unpredictable events, there’s a modicum of closure, but it appears the scars inflicted upon the community will last for some time. Once seen as a potential revenue stream for cash strapped Santa Barbara, plans for making Neverland Ranch a state landmark have been put on hold since the rise of this grisly situation. However with today’s events, they are one step closer to realizing that vision. Sheriff Howard’s press conference helped clear the air and establish new developments in the cultic drama sweeping the world. Here’s the transcript from his 8 am presser:

 

Sheriff Howard: Ok folks, today marks the end of our journey involving the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” case. After much debate with the city council, and careful consideration of potential legal ramifications, we’ve decided to drop all charges against Rush Goober, and extradite him to Canada to face their legal system for the crime of “impersonating a Rush fan”. This is very serious business up there.

 

Thorough reflection led the city to its decision based on a treaty the county made with Canada back in 1910, when we had an influx of Canadian criminals at the time. So we decided to rid ourselves altogether of this issue and give it over to Toronto city Mayor Rob Ford to deal with. Believe me when I tell you, he’s salivating to get Rush Goober in country. They approached us, so it just kind of fell in our laps, talk about divine providence. Mayor Ford could use the political points at the moment.

 

Charges have also been dropped against the Seven Cities of Gold dancers. They will be key witnesses for the prosecution in Canada in exchange for their release. Since their arrest and incarceration, they’ve been model citizens and have proven beneficial to Mr. Larry Flynt, who can now walk because of a special treatment he received from the dancers.

 

So, before I take any questions, I can say with confidence this story is behind us, and we move forward. We appreciate all the support during the dark times, with wild animals running amok and the abundance of freaks invading our town to exploit this situation. Okay I’ll start with you:

 

Catholicism Wow! Magazine: Did the recent Papal mass have any influence on the county’s decision to extradite Rush Goober?

Sheriff Howard: Umm kinda. If God is against him, who can be for him? Pope Francis did show up big time. Next question.

 

David Fricke RollingStone Magazine: Will this story eclipse the debacles of the past in regards to the life and memory of Michael Jackson? And, if that’s the case, will Neverland Ranch be a positive experience for those who visit?

Sheriff Howard: We don’t know and we really don’t care. This is about revenue.

David Fricke RollingStone Magazine: Can we put an end to the mystery to actual flesh fed to the Seven Cities of Gold dancers? What was it?

Sheriff Howard: It was either a nose, or a snipped foreskin…we couldn’t tell which. Either way, we’re done with it.

 

American Journal of Medicine: Correct me if I’m wrong, did you say the Seven Cities of Gold dancers used a special therapy to help Larry Flynt walk? You mean they cured his paralysis?

Sheriff Howard: Yes I did.

American Journal of Medicine: Well this is big news in the field of medicine, like Nobel Prize worthy. How did they do it?

Sheriff Howard: The leader, Robin Redbreasts, said that reversal was achieved by a variation of the “Miyagi” technique, as in the Karate Kid. You know, the one used on Ralph Macchio? They gave me a demonstration and I hope my wife doesn’t find out about it. Next Question.

 

The Yukon Blade Grinder: Can you tell us about the arrest of the Yukon Blade Grinder reporter, Lorraine? She was arrested outside of the Thistle Dew motel on Thanksgiving Day. What was the charge?

Sheriff Howard: Well this was bizarre in of itself. You’ve all heard the modern vocabulary terms such as twerk and selfie I assume. When we received calls about her odd behavior on the street we sent Deputy Fife to check it out. Upon arrival, he found her in the middle of the street in some curious Norwegian pose. Fife asked her what she was doing. She said “Fjording”. He had no clue what that meant at the time, and we still don’t, but it didn’t look right to him. We brought her in, found she ate some bad turkey. Basically she was tripping out from food poisoning. She’s ok and She’ll be released after the press conference.

The Yukon Blade Grinder: Good news then. A Rush Goober related question. Is he still a resident of your jail?

Sheriff Howard: No, we released him to Canadian Mounties yesterday.

The Yukon Blade Grinder: Did he leave anything behind to give some insight into his condition, perhaps more rationale for this mess?

Sheriff Howard: No, none at all. However, he did leave a manuscript he wrote on toilet paper for a sequel to the Twilight series. It was titled Beautiful Fangs: Edwin Bites Back. Apparently he’s a big fan.

 

Thank you all for the thoughtful questions and attention to this sad and confusing case. Santa Barbara can now return to normal. Happy Days are on the way!

 

 

--End Transcript--

 

So, a door closes and another door opens. The way of life the Yukon Blade Grinder reckons. As we prepare to make our way to Toronto brace for impact rabid readers. Canadians don’t take kindly to the notion of impersonating a Rush fan, and Mayor Ford is the poster boy for the Canadian workingman. Like the substantial girth of their beloved mayor, so is their appetite for punishing those who dare cross the thin blue line of Rush blasphemy. The Grinder will be there, on the scene, and ready to dole out the truth. Until next time dear followers, keep an eye out for our return as we venture to the land of Ice Chuckers, Poutine, and Labatt’s beer. Should be tasty!

Edited by Tombstone Mountain
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How long will this nightmare continue?

Don't ask, but with Mother Rosalia and her seven swords praying for us, who cares?

 

I'm on my way to get my pic taken for my passport. Gotta pack and am on my way to Canada. Big doings and happenings up there. I'll swing by the Orbit Room first to see if I can engage Big Al in our Free The Goobs campaign. Perhaps he will make a substantial monetary contribution to the Gooby Fund. I'll tell him he'll get a tax break if he contributes.

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I have noticed though that a few people have read this thread. I can account for maybe eighty viewings, but who are the other five thousand????

My fans. :P :P :P :P :LOL: :lol: :LOL: :lol: :LOL: :lol:

Of course! Why didn't I think of that? Your fans and the Vatican. I wonder who will translate the thread into Latin for them?

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How long will this nightmare continue?

Don't ask, but with Mother Rosalia and her seven swords praying for us, who cares?

 

I'm on my way to get my pic taken for my passport. Gotta pack and am on my way to Canada. Big doings and happenings up there. I'll swing by the Orbit Room first to see if I can engage Big Al in our Free The Goobs campaign. Perhaps he will make a substantial monetary contribution to the Gooby Fund. I'll tell him he'll get a tax break if he contributes.

I think Anthem Entertainment is putting us up in cush digs—it'll make Thistle Dew seem like a distant memory. Substance will like that so much
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How long will this nightmare continue?

Don't ask, but with Mother Rosalia and her seven swords praying for us, who cares?

 

I'm on my way to get my pic taken for my passport. Gotta pack and am on my way to Canada. Big doings and happenings up there. I'll swing by the Orbit Room first to see if I can engage Big Al in our Free The Goobs campaign. Perhaps he will make a substantial monetary contribution to the Gooby Fund. I'll tell him he'll get a tax break if he contributes.

I think Anthem Entertainment is putting us up in cush digs—it'll make Thistle Dew seem like a distant memory. Substance will like that so much

Groovy! I hope the cush digs are bed bug and rat free. And I hope Anthem throws in a complete Rush CD/DVD set to help us while away the hours there in case we run into some snags up in Canada.

 

My passport pic turned out well. A vast improvement over the mugshot from my booking yesterday.

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Wow, a lot of things happened in the last few days. Biggest surprise, Goobs in the hands of the Mounties! :o

My head is empty reading through the last pages and I'm flip-flopping, if it makes sense to keep up the support or relinquish the efforts. Maybe this is a kneejerk reaction and I should stay tuned to see what happens next. I'm too nosy anyway, not to lurk and see what happens to poor Goober. Interesting on every occasion how things take a surprising twist.

 

Fact is, this thread is epoch-making and it must be kept alive. Long live the YBG.

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Goobs has been picked up by the Mounties already you say? Of course! We're in Rushville now. Impersonating a Rush fan comes with a steep penalty in Canada.

 

I hope he manages to keep his opinions about Vapor Trails to himself else things will go worse for him in Canada than they did with Sheriff Taylor.

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How long will this nightmare continue?

Don't ask, but with Mother Rosalia and her seven swords praying for us, who cares?

 

I'm on my way to get my pic taken for my passport. Gotta pack and am on my way to Canada. Big doings and happenings up there. I'll swing by the Orbit Room first to see if I can engage Big Al in our Free The Goobs campaign. Perhaps he will make a substantial monetary contribution to the Gooby Fund. I'll tell him he'll get a tax break if he contributes.

I think Anthem Entertainment is putting us up in cush digs—it'll make Thistle Dew seem like a distant memory. Substance will like that so much

Groovy! I hope the cush digs are bed bug and rat free. And I hope Anthem throws in a complete Rush CD/DVD set to help us while away the hours there in case we run into some snags up in Canada.

 

My passport pic turned out well. A vast improvement over the mugshot from my booking yesterday.

The least I can do is make sure Substance feels the love...he's had it rough. I think he'll like Anthem tower
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The Yukon Blade Grinder

Black Friday Edition

 

 

11.27.13

Santa Barbara Courthouse

 

After the Thanksgiving holiday there’s much activity in the public square of Santa Barbara. As the wheels of justice turn, rumors circulating among the elite media have turned out to be true. While most people in America are out shopping till their hearts content, the Yukon Blade Grinder is hard at work swimming with the sharks of the media elite.

 

The story of the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” cult continues to asphyxiate mainstream North America like the wafting aroma of a fart, but no worries, the Yukon Blade Grinder has it in the bag. Nitty-gritty details have been leaked by several sources close to the action, as former cellmates have stepped forward eager to shovel more dirt on the grave of one Rush T. Goober. To the members of the British Repertoires Acclaimed Wee Legion, the “T” stands for “turncoat”, to Santa Barbara’s recent veterans of their highly esteemed penal system—it’s “Twinkles”—as in Robert Pattinson’s vampire role in the Twilight saga. Now the story creeps forward.

 

Yes, the Yukon Blade Grinder has all kinds of news to report. Santa Barbara Sheriff Ron Howard’s press conference offered a quite a resounding end to the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” case. Though a once spiraling, out of control situation, the city has taken a problem by the horns and handed it off to another country, but more of that later.

 

It’s hard to predict an outcome with so many levels of legal complexity, but there are telltale signs. Superstar lawyer/prodigious novelist John Grisham issued a statement before today’s press conference confirming his business decision to abandon his client due to “improbable odds of victory”. The Yukon Blade Grinder knows why.

 

After 20 days of unpredictable events, there’s a modicum of closure, but it appears the scars inflicted upon the community will last for some time. Once seen as a potential revenue stream for cash strapped Santa Barbara, plans for making Neverland Ranch a state landmark have been put on hold since the rise of this grisly situation. However with today’s events, they are one step closer to realizing that vision. Sheriff Howard’s press conference helped clear the air and establish new developments in the cultic drama sweeping the world. Here’s the transcript from his 8 am presser:

 

Sheriff Howard: Ok folks, today marks the end of our journey involving the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” case. After much debate with the city council, and careful consideration of potential legal ramifications, we’ve decided to drop all charges against Rush Goober, and extradite him to Canada to face their legal system for the crime of “impersonating a Rush fan”. This is very serious business up there.

 

Thorough reflection led the city to its decision based on a treaty the county made with Canada back in 1910, when we had an influx of Canadian criminals at the time. So we decided to rid ourselves altogether of this issue and give it over to Toronto city Mayor Rob Ford to deal with. Believe me when I tell you, he’s salivating to get Rush Goober in country. They approached us, so it just kind of fell in our laps, talk about divine providence. Mayor Ford could use the political points at the moment.

 

Charges have also been dropped against the Seven Cities of Gold dancers. They will be key witnesses for the prosecution in Canada in exchange for their release. Since their arrest and incarceration, they’ve been model citizens and have proven beneficial to Mr. Larry Flynt, who can now walk because of a special treatment he received from the dancers.

 

So, before I take any questions, I can say with confidence this story is behind us, and we move forward. We appreciate all the support during the dark times, with wild animals running amok and the abundance of freaks invading our town to exploit this situation. Okay I’ll start with you:

 

Catholicism Wow! Magazine: Did the recent Papal mass have any influence on the county’s decision to extradite Rush Goober?

Sheriff Howard: Umm kinda. If God is against him, who can be for him? Pope Francis did show up big time. Next question.

 

David Fricke RollingStone Magazine: Will this story eclipse the debacles of the past in regards to the life and memory of Michael Jackson? And, if that’s the case, will Neverland Ranch be a positive experience for those who visit?

Sheriff Howard: We don’t know and we really don’t care. This is about revenue.

David Fricke RollingStone Magazine: Can we put an end to the mystery to actual flesh fed to the Seven Cities of Gold dancers? What was it?

Sheriff Howard: It was either a nose, or a snipped foreskin…we couldn’t tell which. Either way, we’re done with it.

 

American Journal of Medicine: Correct me if I’m wrong, did you say the Seven Cities of Gold dancers used a special therapy to help Larry Flynt walk? You mean they cured his paralysis?

Sheriff Howard: Yes I did.

American Journal of Medicine: Well this is big news in the field of medicine, like Nobel Prize worthy. How did they do it?

Sheriff Howard: The leader, Robin Redbreasts, said that reversal was achieved by a variation of the “Miyagi” technique, as in the Karate Kid. You know, the one used on Ralph Macchio? They gave me a demonstration and I hope my wife doesn’t find out about it. Next Question.

 

The Yukon Blade Grinder: Can you tell us about the arrest of the Yukon Blade Grinder reporter, Lorraine? She was arrested outside of the Thistle Dew motel on Thanksgiving Day. What was the charge?

Sheriff Howard: Well this was bizarre in of itself. You’ve all heard the modern vocabulary terms such as twerk and selfie I assume. When we received calls about her odd behavior on the street we sent Deputy Fife to check it out. Upon arrival, he found her in the middle of the street in some curious Norwegian pose. Fife asked her what she was doing. She said “Fjording”. He had no clue what that meant at the time, and we still don’t, but it didn’t look right to him. We brought her in, found she ate some bad turkey. Basically she was tripping out from food poisoning. She’s ok and She’ll be released after the press conference.

The Yukon Blade Grinder: Good news then. A Rush Goober related question. Is he still a resident of your jail?

Sheriff Howard: No, we released him to Canadian Mounties yesterday.

The Yukon Blade Grinder: Did he leave anything behind to give some insight into his condition, perhaps more rationale for this mess?

Sheriff Howard: No, none at all. However, he did leave a manuscript he wrote on toilet paper for a sequel to the Twilight series. It was titled Beautiful Fangs: Edwin Bites Back. Apparently he’s a big fan.

 

Thank you all for the thoughtful questions and attention to this sad and confusing case. Santa Barbara can now return to normal. Happy Days are on the way!

 

 

 

 

 

--End Transcript--

 

So, a door closes and another door opens. The way of life the Yukon Blade Grinder reckons. As we prepare to make our way to Toronto brace for impact rabid readers. Canadians don’t take kindly to the notion of impersonating a Rush fan, and Mayor Ford is the poster boy for the Canadian workingman. Like the substantial girth of their beloved mayor, so is their appetite for punishing those who dare cross the thin blue line of Rush blasphemy. The Grinder will be there, on the scene, and ready to dole out the truth. Until next time dear followers, keep an eye out for our return as we venture to the land of Ice Chuckers, Poutine, and Labatt’s beer. Should be tasty!

 

:LOL:

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