TRF Prediction Thread and Roast: Rushgoober's 30,000th post

[Lorraine]

:laughing guy: What a fun day this is turning out to be! We have been alerted to Vegans posing as Hare Krishnas! Oh, well! I got a free tambourine out of the deal, and reimbursement is forthcoming from the Yukon Blade Grinder Expense Account for the incense sticks and patchouli oil, so all is not lost! Still hate to see them get in trouble. I hope they manage to escape into a neighboring State, or Mexico, safely! Adieu Krishnas!

 

I have at hand an application from someone who calls herself "CygnusGal". What, pray tell, is a "CygnusGal"? Is there anyone here that can fill me in? For experience, she writes: Long time TRF member. Very impressive. But can she dance? And how will she look dressed as an escapee from a harem?

[Tombstone Mountain]

CygnusGal...yeah I know her. Though she rarely surfaces on the board anymore, I believe I can speak for the forum—we miss her! Ok, I'm done sucking up!

[CygnusGal]

I am writing this letter on a gerbil and smuggling it out of Larry Flynt's safe house with the hope that it finds you in time. I told the gerbil that you'd give her $50. Please see she is well compensated. I have been watching the events in the motel room on closed-circuit TV - I have been provided with a monitor to view the Emperor's conquest of the pathetic rebel band attacking the second Death Star and...oops, wrong channel...the Thistle Dew motel.

 

The Thistle Dew is a trap! Get out while you can! The pez dispenser, the Milk Duds, the little finger bells, the bar of soap in the dish in the bathroom; they are all ruses to entice you into complacency and distract you from Rushgoober's true goal!

 

I have it on good authority that Rushgoober and his legion of VIKINGS (Vapor trails Immensely Knowledgable and Irritatingly Nice Gnome Squad) have been secretly planning a clever takeover of the small persons acting industry. The VIKINGS are to replace the BRAWLRs! In a terrible tactical blunder, Rushgoober wrote his plans on a cocktail napkin in the form of a torch song which were then mistakenly used as lyrics on the latest Taylor Swift song. Attentive listeners will not be able to distinguish it from any other Taylor Swift song.

 

The motivation to displace the BRAWLRs with the VIKINGS is murky and surely Rushgoober will fail. As I am blessed with a sophisticated palate for wee person acting, I can definitively say that the quality of the VIKINGS does not approach the sheer perfection that we all associate with the BRAWLRs.

 

Rushgoober's plan is to destroy both the SCOG Dancers and the BRAWLRs at the trial and replace them with the hegemony of the VIKINGS. He must be stopped.

 

For the record, the issue that the SCOG Dancers had with the BRAWLRs looking up our skirts was that they were breathing on our kneecaps. Very annoying.

 

I have to go as I've run out of gerbil to write on...

 

RR

 

[Lorraine]

:o Heavens! Can someone translate her post for me? I didn't understand a word she said other than I need to hightail it out of the Thistle Dew. Don't ask where Substance is - I hope Norman didn't entice him to tea with his mommy.

 

I'm leaving everything behind. I hope that Substance finds the gerbil with the cryptic message on it. He can pay the gerbil the fifty bucks. I ran out of funds and have yet to be reimbursed. The check is in the mail. Right. Next time Cygnus, use a homing pigeon. Their rates are cheaper.

 

And who wants BRAWLR breath on their kneecaps ( )?

 

By the way, Cygnus Gal, nice whip! Bring it along to the audition. It will fit in nicely! It beats bell on your fingers.

[Tombstone Mountain]

I am writing this letter on a gerbil and smuggling it out of Larry Flynt's safe house with the hope that it finds you in time. I told the gerbil that you'd give her $50. Please see she is well compensated. I have been watching the events in the motel room on closed-circuit TV - I have been provided with a monitor to view the Emperor's conquest of the pathetic rebel band attacking the second Death Star and...oops, wrong channel...the Thistle Dew motel.

 

The Thistle Dew is a trap! Get out while you can! The pez dispenser, the Milk Duds, the little finger bells, the bar of soap in the dish in the bathroom; they are all ruses to entice you into complacency and distract you from Rushgoober's true goal!

 

I have it on good authority that Rushgoober and his legion of VIKINGS (Vapor trails Immensely Knowledgable and Irritatingly Nice Gnome Squad) have been secretly planning a clever takeover of the small persons acting industry. The VIKINGS are to replace the BRAWLRs! In a terrible tactical blunder, Rushgoober wrote his plans on a cocktail napkin in the form of a torch song which were then mistakenly used as lyrics on the latest Taylor Swift song. Attentive listeners will not be able to distinguish it from any other Taylor Swift song.

 

The motivation to displace the BRAWLRs with the VIKINGS is murky and surely Rushgoober will fail. As I am blessed with a sophisticated palate for wee person acting, I can definitively say that the quality of the VIKINGS does not approach the sheer perfection that we all associate with the BRAWLRs.

 

Rushgoober's plan is to destroy both the SCOG Dancers and the BRAWLRs at the trial and replace them with the hegemony of the VIKINGS. He must be stopped.

 

For the record, the issue that the SCOG Dancers had with the BRAWLRs looking up our skirts was that they were breathing on our kneecaps. Very annoying.

 

I have to go as I've run out of gerbil to write on...

 

RR

 

As Darth Vader would say: Impressive. Most impressive.

[Lorraine]

I found out why I am here all by myself - seems everyone and their sister and brother is at a CA Tour CD or DVD listening/watching party.

I guess I'll just sit here and feel sorry for myself and Goobs. :sigh: No. Can't do that. No time for self-pity with Goobs in the slammer and the prospect of BRAWLRs breathing on my kneecaps.

 

Maybe I will jog (!!) out to WonderLand (or is it NeverLand? should I think Peter Pan to remember the name?) Ranch and give myself an unguided tour. Maybe I will run into that oaf Sheriff Howard or his lackey.

 

If you don't hear from me in twenty-four (24) hours, panic and send out a search party. Thank you.

[HomesickAlien]

DISPATCH FROM THE DEW: Day 8

 

As the first week of our protest against the unfortunate incarceration of Goober comes to a close, our efforts remain unrewarded, and second thoughts about our mission have begun to creep into my mind. The bulk of our fellow TRF members remain indifferent to his plight, and the familiar refrain "what has he ever done for me" now rattles in my own head. Why is it that we're so anxious for him to return and make his 30,000th post? Tombstone said that it will probably be a big letdown, and I'm afraid I must concur. Are we really on tenterhooks, waiting for him to review the new live cd? I'm sure his greatest contribution will be to remind us of Geddy's "steadily deteriorating voice". It's all so disheartening, yet we carry on. . .

 

This morning some interesting news came over the wireless. Several crop circles had mysteriously formed in a couscous field on the outskirts of town. Who knew it was cultivated like wheat? I always thought it grew on vines. I immediately remembered that Goober had an affinity for these unfathomable formations, so I saw this as an opportunity to remove the nagging doubts I had about our undertaking. I packed up the goodies we'd purchased for Goober and headed out to the pasture in question.

 

I nearly tripped over a 2 x 4 attached to a rope as I made my way to the middle of the nearest circle, where I sat in silence clutching that damned stuffed llama. I played Floyd's Interstellar Overdrive on the boombox; I thought space rock was an appropriate choice, and it's Goober's favorite song. I closed my eyes and pondered our situation. . .

 

I woke up four hours later only to find that a passing emu had defecated on my brand new Salvatore Ferragamo silk shirt. The only thing I learned is that you should never fall asleep in a crop circle.

 

Lorraine continues to be distracted from the task at hand, and spent most of the day with the 7COG dancers, helping them sift through applications for a seventh dancer. It turns out the poor girls are illiterate, and Lorraine graciously offered to teach them to read using the trove of material available from the Hooked on Phonics program. All she asked in return is that Lakeisha teach her how to play Tiny Bubbles on the ukulele. Who said Don Ho was irreplaceable? She may be losing interest in poor Goober, but she's now embarked on her own mission of mercy.

 

I'm not particularly optimistic about the news coming from the European front. Greyfriar tells us that he knows a psychologist willing to consult with Mr. Grisham on Goober's insanity defense, although considering the fact that he abandoned his petition drive, I'm skeptical that we'll be hearing from Herr Greyfriar soon. Of course, it's possible that I'm being "an impatient cat", and we may receive good news tomorrow.

 

Our only hope may be a rather dubious plan that was hatched by H.P.L., who tells us that the Bishop of Rome will be appealing to a higher power for Goober's salvation this Sunday before a gathering of his followers. Rumor has it that the man has some pull. The Bishop of Rome that is, not H.P.L., who is so concerned with Goober's fate that he can't bear to return to this thread until Monday.

 

It's late Friday evening, and Lorraine has yet to return from her jog to Neverland. Considering her propensity for finding trouble, I hope she's taking ukulele lessons from Lakeisha, and hasn't been kidnapped by the Hare Krishnas.

 

You'll have to excuse me, because Norman has asked me to help him alphabetize his collection of Greco-Roman wrestling tapes. I hope Goober appreciates what we must endure.

 

 

This is all very wearying.

 

 

http://media.tumblr.com/090278cafeebcdd6183742745983bd83/tumblr_inline_mgg03xSkjn1qabw0a.gif

[priest_of_syrinx]

Where has he been anyway? Perhaps preparing for the grand event?? Or listening nonstop to his Vapor Trails remix CD that just arrived finding still more wrong with it??

 

I think he gets into spats with people on other boards, so he may be having too much fun elsewhere. It's also possible he's become captivated by the Twilight series again, and can't stop reading long enough to post.

 

Maybe he's being entranced by My Little Pony. It's only a matter of time.

:fury:

[Lorraine]

Of all the nerve! Lakeisha told me I had the musical talent of a tone deaf toad! Coming from her, that's rich. She told me I would never master Tiny Bubbles and that the best I can hope for is to pluck out Chopsticks on the uke! She concluded by telling me to stick with my silent piano playing so as to cause the least amount of damage to delicate ears. :o Be that as it may...

 

I am afraid that Substance, my dear friend, is right. Even though we have been at this quest for Goobs a short while, it seems like ages. It has also left me asking the question of the moment: What has RushGoober ever done for me?? And the follow up question to that is: Would RushGoober ever do this for me?

 

Since our European contingent (one of whom went off on an adventure until Monday - the nerve of him - how can anyone have a good time at this crucial point?) seems to want to pass the buck - one to the shrink and the other to the pope (the Rhine flows into the Tiber ) - and we can't seem to drum up more than a handful of supporters on TRF for RushGoober, depression has set in big time.

 

Substance is weeping in the corner with his silk shirt in his hands. Salvatore Ferragamo shirts do not come cheap.

 

On a brighter note, while I was giving myself a tour of the now desolate Neverland estate, I caught sight of something interesting. I saw crowds of gerbils milling about holding little signs in their tiny hands. I had to get as close as I dared to read what was written on the signs. The print was so small, that I had to don my Geddy glasses. With glasses perched at the end of my lovely nose, this is what I read: Gerbils Organized Official Bug Society

[HomesickAlien]

I might have to get Lorraine to fly out there with me to picket the jail.

 

http://i.imgur.com/Y27lxDE.png

 

What was I thinking?

[HomesickAlien]

Of all the nerve! Lakeisha told me I had the musical talent of a tone deaf toad! Coming from her, that's rich. She told me I would never master Tiny Bubbles and that the best I can hope for is to pluck out Chopsticks on the uke! She concluded by telling me to stick with my silent piano playing so as to cause the least amount of damage to delicate ears. :o Be that as it may...

 

I am afraid that Substance, my dear friend, is right. Even though we have been at this quest for Goobs a short while, it seems like ages. It has also left me asking the question of the moment: What has RushGoober ever done for me?? And the follow up question to that is: Would RushGoober ever do this for me?

 

Since our European contingent (one of whom went off on an adventure until Monday - the nerve of him - how can anyone have a good time at this crucial point?) seems to want to pass the buck - one to the shrink and the other to the pope (the Rhine flows into the Tiber ) - and we can't seem to drum up more than a handful of supporters on TRF for RushGoober, depression has set in big time.

 

Substance is weeping in the corner with his silk shirt in his hands. Salvatore Ferragamo shirts do not come cheap.

 

On a brighter note, while I was giving myself a tour of the now desolate Neverland estate, I caught sight of something interesting. I saw crowds of gerbils milling about holding little signs in their tiny hands. I had to get as close as I dared to read what was written on the signs. The print was so small, that I had to don my Geddy glasses. With glasses perched at the end of my lovely nose, this is what I read: Gerbils Organized Official Bug Society

 

It is demoralizing that we haven't heard any news about Goober in days. Tombstone seems to be more occupied with "interviewing" the 7COG dancers and cavorting with that poor chimp.

 

Weren't we supposed to hear from Robin Redbreasts yesterday? I'm sure Tombstone is proofreading her statement at this very moment.

 

What has Goober done for me? I repeatedly asked myself that question as I worked to remove the emu feces from my shirt using the Woolite I found in the bathroom. (In reality I would never use Woolite on a Salvatore Ferragamo shirt. )

 

This undertaking is quickly becoming, as Goober would say, a "chore". :sigh:

[Tombstone Mountain]

I am writing this letter on a gerbil and smuggling it out of Larry Flynt's safe house with the hope that it finds you in time. I told the gerbil that you'd give her $50. Please see she is well compensated. I have been watching the events in the motel room on closed-circuit TV - I have been provided with a monitor to view the Emperor's conquest of the pathetic rebel band attacking the second Death Star and...oops, wrong channel...the Thistle Dew motel.

 

The Thistle Dew is a trap! Get out while you can! The pez dispenser, the Milk Duds, the little finger bells, the bar of soap in the dish in the bathroom; they are all ruses to entice you into complacency and distract you from Rushgoober's true goal!

 

I have it on good authority that Rushgoober and his legion of VIKINGS (Vapor trails Immensely Knowledgable and Irritatingly Nice Gnome Squad) have been secretly planning a clever takeover of the small persons acting industry. The VIKINGS are to replace the BRAWLRs! In a terrible tactical blunder, Rushgoober wrote his plans on a cocktail napkin in the form of a torch song which were then mistakenly used as lyrics on the latest Taylor Swift song. Attentive listeners will not be able to distinguish it from any other Taylor Swift song.

 

The motivation to displace the BRAWLRs with the VIKINGS is murky and surely Rushgoober will fail. As I am blessed with a sophisticated palate for wee person acting, I can definitively say that the quality of the VIKINGS does not approach the sheer perfection that we all associate with the BRAWLRs.

 

Rushgoober's plan is to destroy both the SCOG Dancers and the BRAWLRs at the trial and replace them with the hegemony of the VIKINGS. He must be stopped.

 

For the record, the issue that the SCOG Dancers had with the BRAWLRs looking up our skirts was that they were breathing on our kneecaps. Very annoying.

 

I have to go as I've run out of gerbil to write on...

 

RR

 

Substance, check out the initials...Robin has spoken.

[Lorraine]

In reality I would never use Woolite on a Salvatore Ferragamo shirt.

In reality, anyone that can afford one shouldn't have to worry about anything other than sending them out to be professionally cleaned. ;)

Edited November 23, 2013 by Lorraine

[Tombstone Mountain]

Okay, everybody just take a deep breath.

 

We've all been really stressed out about things we can't possibly control.

However, we do have someone who cares about us and our worries.

I've flown to Vatican City. HPL and I have a very significant appointment tomorrow.

 

Clasp your hands together, offer up some thoughts to the great spirit in the sky. This has gotten theological!

[Lorraine]

I might have to get Lorraine to fly out there with me to picket the jail.

 

http://i.imgur.com/Y27lxDE.png

 

What was I thinking?

I say let's just zip over to LAX and hop on a plane home. Leave Goobs to the gerbils!

[HomesickAlien]

I am writing this letter on a gerbil and smuggling it out of Larry Flynt's safe house with the hope that it finds you in time. I told the gerbil that you'd give her $50. Please see she is well compensated. I have been watching the events in the motel room on closed-circuit TV - I have been provided with a monitor to view the Emperor's conquest of the pathetic rebel band attacking the second Death Star and...oops, wrong channel...the Thistle Dew motel.

 

The Thistle Dew is a trap! Get out while you can! The pez dispenser, the Milk Duds, the little finger bells, the bar of soap in the dish in the bathroom; they are all ruses to entice you into complacency and distract you from Rushgoober's true goal!

 

I have it on good authority that Rushgoober and his legion of VIKINGS (Vapor trails Immensely Knowledgable and Irritatingly Nice Gnome Squad) have been secretly planning a clever takeover of the small persons acting industry. The VIKINGS are to replace the BRAWLRs! In a terrible tactical blunder, Rushgoober wrote his plans on a cocktail napkin in the form of a torch song which were then mistakenly used as lyrics on the latest Taylor Swift song. Attentive listeners will not be able to distinguish it from any other Taylor Swift song.

 

The motivation to displace the BRAWLRs with the VIKINGS is murky and surely Rushgoober will fail. As I am blessed with a sophisticated palate for wee person acting, I can definitively say that the quality of the VIKINGS does not approach the sheer perfection that we all associate with the BRAWLRs.

 

Rushgoober's plan is to destroy both the SCOG Dancers and the BRAWLRs at the trial and replace them with the hegemony of the VIKINGS. He must be stopped.

 

For the record, the issue that the SCOG Dancers had with the BRAWLRs looking up our skirts was that they were breathing on our kneecaps. Very annoying.

 

I have to go as I've run out of gerbil to write on...

 

RR

 

Substance, check out the initials...Robin has spoken.

 

:|

 

CygnusGal = Robin Redbreasts?

 

The fact that CG may be one of your co-conspirators, while Lorraine and I are left floundering, is hardly a comfort. :P

Edited November 23, 2013 by substancewithoutstyle

[Lorraine]

Okay, everybody just take a deep breath.

 

We've all been really stressed out about things we can't possibly control.

However, we do have someone who cares about us and our worries.

I've flown to Vatican City. HPL and I have a very significant appointment tomorrow.

 

Clasp your hands together, offer up some thoughts to the great spirit in the sky. This has gotten theological!

Quite right, Tomb. I forgot about His Holiness setting everything right.

 

Substance, let's wait until Monday until we leave town.

[Tombstone Mountain]

Okay, everybody just take a deep breath.

 

We've all been really stressed out about things we can't possibly control.

However, we do have someone who cares about us and our worries.

I've flown to Vatican City. HPL and I have a very significant appointment tomorrow.

 

Clasp your hands together, offer up some thoughts to the great spirit in the sky. This has gotten theological!

Quite right, Tomb. I forgot about His Holiness setting everything right.

 

Substance, let's wait until Monday until we leave town.

I've heard from reliable sources he really likes Rush. "Freewill" is a fav of his.

[Tombstone Mountain]

I am writing this letter on a gerbil and smuggling it out of Larry Flynt's safe house with the hope that it finds you in time. I told the gerbil that you'd give her $50. Please see she is well compensated. I have been watching the events in the motel room on closed-circuit TV - I have been provided with a monitor to view the Emperor's conquest of the pathetic rebel band attacking the second Death Star and...oops, wrong channel...the Thistle Dew motel.

 

The Thistle Dew is a trap! Get out while you can! The pez dispenser, the Milk Duds, the little finger bells, the bar of soap in the dish in the bathroom; they are all ruses to entice you into complacency and distract you from Rushgoober's true goal!

 

I have it on good authority that Rushgoober and his legion of VIKINGS (Vapor trails Immensely Knowledgable and Irritatingly Nice Gnome Squad) have been secretly planning a clever takeover of the small persons acting industry. The VIKINGS are to replace the BRAWLRs! In a terrible tactical blunder, Rushgoober wrote his plans on a cocktail napkin in the form of a torch song which were then mistakenly used as lyrics on the latest Taylor Swift song. Attentive listeners will not be able to distinguish it from any other Taylor Swift song.

 

The motivation to displace the BRAWLRs with the VIKINGS is murky and surely Rushgoober will fail. As I am blessed with a sophisticated palate for wee person acting, I can definitively say that the quality of the VIKINGS does not approach the sheer perfection that we all associate with the BRAWLRs.

 

Rushgoober's plan is to destroy both the SCOG Dancers and the BRAWLRs at the trial and replace them with the hegemony of the VIKINGS. He must be stopped.

 

For the record, the issue that the SCOG Dancers had with the BRAWLRs looking up our skirts was that they were breathing on our kneecaps. Very annoying.

 

I have to go as I've run out of gerbil to write on...

 

RR

 

Substance, check out the initials...Robin has spoken.

 

:|.

 

CygnusGal = Robin Redbreasts?

 

The fact that CG may be one of your co-conspirators, while Lorraine and I are left floundering is hardly a comfort. :P

Dude she's scratching notes and tying them to the necks of gerbils, we're all feeling it. We need comfort beyond what this world provides.

[HomesickAlien]

DOWN AND OUT AT THE DEW: Day 9

 

With our patience, not to mention sanity, quickly approaching the breaking point, tonight's missive will be mercifully brief.

 

There was no news on the Goober front today, and with my precious Ferragamo shirt in ruins, we decided to throw caution to the wind and go for an afternoon drive with Kato. He's a bit disheveled, but basically harmless, and we needed to get away from the dreary Dew for a while. As we drove through Brentwood, he regaled us with tall tales about celebrities he claimed to have once known. We even treated him to a meal at the Sakana Sushi Bar, where we ran up quite a bill. I'm sure we'll be reimbursed by Tombstone. Lorraine said she can't bear to watch Forbidden Paradise again, so we also stopped at Blockbuster to rent a movie.

 

Upon our return, we found that a gift had been delivered for Lorraine from Losingit2k — the finger cymbals she had been lusting after. Despite the fact that her attempts to teach Lakeisha and the girls to read were met with insults and ridicule, she does enjoy donning her 7COG dancer outfit, and the finger cymbals were just what she needed to complete the ensemble.

 

Tombstone has flown to Rome, no doubt accompanied by that chimp. He probably attempted to purchase a seat for the beast; I hope Alitalia stashed it in the cargo bay. He's there to meet H.P.L., who is convinced he can persuade the pontiff to intervene on Goober's behalf. Considering how TM likes to mix business with pleasure, he'll most likely make Silvio's villa his base of operations. I understand the extracurricular activities there are similar to those of Flynt's "safe house".

 

We've decided that Goober's fate is out of our hands, and that the best we can do for our lovable little troll is await word from TM and H.P.L. Perhaps tomorrow will bring good news, although I do hope this situation is resolved before Thanksgiving. The thought of sitting with Norman at the dinner table is too disturbing to contemplate.

 

Lorraine has Psycho cued up, so I must be going. I thought it was an odd choice, but Lorraine said that this place reminds her of a Hitchcock movie!

[greyfriar]

Via Telegram from Europe - Dear friends - stop - Communication breakdown, it's always the same - stop - Computer problems here, hence the Telegram - stop - Online petition stuck - stop - No replies at all - stop - Uh, supper's ready - stop - Still learning about rhythm methods to guarantee an effective acoustic irradiation therapy - stop - It takes more time than expected - stop - Way too many songs to choose from - stop - Psychologist and me are thinking about an additional visual stimuli - stop - Conformable to the Clockwork Orange movie - stop - Working on an assessment titled COALNOVT (Clockwork Orange Angels Leave NO Vapor Trails) - stop - We need information about the trial - stop - Trying to be on the spot if the date is announced - stop - Good to hear that TM is on the way to Rome - stop - Hope the pope likes Disc-Golf - stop - Also good to hear from Lorraine and SWS - stop - Get out of the damn Dew - stop - Looks like Norman tries to euthanize you - stop - We need you both armed with full force on T-day - stop - That's all for now - stop - I'm very confident that everything will work out, if we stay tuned - stop - 29,999 must be eliminated - stop - Ahh, cigarette smoke in the eye, f**kin hell - stop - Hope to hear from ya' all soon - stop - Regards Herr Greyfriar - End

[Tombstone Mountain]

Via Telegram from Europe - Dear friends - stop - Communication breakdown, it's always the same - stop - Computer problems here, hence the Telegram - stop - Online petition stuck - stop - No replies at all - stop - Uh, supper's ready - stop - Still learning about rhythm methods to guarantee an effective acoustic irradiation therapy - stop - It takes more time than expected - stop - Way too many songs to choose from - stop - Psychologist and me are thinking about an additional visual stimuli - stop - Conformable to the Clockwork Orange movie - stop - Working on an assessment titled COALNOVT (Clockwork Orange Angels Leave NO Vapor Trails) - stop - We need information about the trial - stop - Trying to be on the spot if the date is announced - stop - Good to hear that TM is on the way to Rome - stop - Hope the pope likes Disc-Golf - stop - Also good to hear from Lorraine and SWS - stop - Get out of the damn Dew - stop - Looks like Norman tries to euthanize you - stop - We need you both armed with full force on T-day - stop - That's all for now - stop - I'm very confident that everything will work out, if we stay tuned - stop - 29,999 must be eliminated - stop - Ahh, cigarette smoke in the eye, f**kin hell - stop - Hope to hear from ya' all soon - stop - Regards Herr Greyfriar - End

Maniacal laugh!!! Playing discgolf with the pope=awesome!

[losingit2k]

I am writing this letter on a gerbil and smuggling it out of Larry Flynt's safe house with the hope that it finds you in time. I told the gerbil that you'd give her $50. Please see she is well compensated. I have been watching the events in the motel room on closed-circuit TV - I have been provided with a monitor to view the Emperor's conquest of the pathetic rebel band attacking the second Death Star and...oops, wrong channel...the Thistle Dew motel.

 

The Thistle Dew is a trap! Get out while you can! The pez dispenser, the Milk Duds, the little finger bells, the bar of soap in the dish in the bathroom; they are all ruses to entice you into complacency and distract you from Rushgoober's true goal!

 

I have it on good authority that Rushgoober and his legion of VIKINGS (Vapor trails Immensely Knowledgable and Irritatingly Nice Gnome Squad) have been secretly planning a clever takeover of the small persons acting industry. The VIKINGS are to replace the BRAWLRs! In a terrible tactical blunder, Rushgoober wrote his plans on a cocktail napkin in the form of a torch song which were then mistakenly used as lyrics on the latest Taylor Swift song. Attentive listeners will not be able to distinguish it from any other Taylor Swift song.

 

The motivation to displace the BRAWLRs with the VIKINGS is murky and surely Rushgoober will fail. As I am blessed with a sophisticated palate for wee person acting, I can definitively say that the quality of the VIKINGS does not approach the sheer perfection that we all associate with the BRAWLRs.

 

Rushgoober's plan is to destroy both the SCOG Dancers and the BRAWLRs at the trial and replace them with the hegemony of the VIKINGS. He must be stopped.

 

For the record, the issue that the SCOG Dancers had with the BRAWLRs looking up our skirts was that they were breathing on our kneecaps. Very annoying.

 

I have to go as I've run out of gerbil to write on...

 

RR

 

 

[losingit2k]

Via Telegram from Europe - Dear friends - stop - Communication breakdown, it's always the same - stop - Computer problems here, hence the Telegram - stop - Online petition stuck - stop - No replies at all - stop - Uh, supper's ready - stop - Still learning about rhythm methods to guarantee an effective acoustic irradiation therapy - stop - It takes more time than expected - stop - Way too many songs to choose from - stop - Psychologist and me are thinking about an additional visual stimuli - stop - Conformable to the Clockwork Orange movie - stop - Working on an assessment titled COALNOVT (Clockwork Orange Angels Leave NO Vapor Trails) - stop - We need information about the trial - stop - Trying to be on the spot if the date is announced - stop - Good to hear that TM is on the way to Rome - stop - Hope the pope likes Disc-Golf - stop - Also good to hear from Lorraine and SWS - stop - Get out of the damn Dew - stop - Looks like Norman tries to euthanize you - stop - We need you both armed with full force on T-day - stop - That's all for now - stop - I'm very confident that everything will work out, if we stay tuned - stop - 29,999 must be eliminated - stop - Ahh, cigarette smoke in the eye, f**kin hell - stop - Hope to hear from ya' all soon - stop - Regards Herr Greyfriar - End

 

[Babycat]

I have found another gerbil upon which to write this letter in order to try to secure Rushgoober's release. The only problem I've encountered is that one particular gerbil with the address to send the letter has scarpered. I have been scuppered by a gerbil.