TRF Prediction Thread and Roast: Rushgoober's 30,000th post

[H. P. L.]

It's official: Italy has its own teleportation device, pretty much USS Enterprise kinda stuff.

And, it's located in President Berlusconi's office.

Today (it's 9 pm here right now) I called in a few favours and managed to get a hearing in Berlusconi's manor, which btw is very near where I live.

Knowing the Presidente's world famous love for female beauty, I got to his personal segretario with a BIG picture of the 7COG dancers in their outfits into my hands.

"Oh yes", said the secretary, "Mr. Berlusconi will surely be interested in getting these fine young women out of prison..."

"Actually" said I, "They're already out of prison. Goober is still in there".

"Who is Goober?"

"He's a guy..."

Just like that - ZAP! - I found myself, in less than a blink of an eye, in the local piazza.

"... that loves making endless lists that start with Amon Dhuul..."

A couple of old crones, going to church, gave me a chilling stare of accusation. A small dog barked at me. A Mini Cooper conducted by a 16 years old, playing Lana del Rey at uncanny power, nearly turned me into roadkill.

I got my bearings back together, snarked, and got home. Had to play VT Remixed all afternoon to let the shock wear out.

So the political solution is a no no. But never fear. We Italians always have an ace up our sleeves. I already have another plan...

What's all white and lives in Rome? Yeah, you guessed right.

THE POPE!!!!!

You Italian men. American women are putty in your hands. Do you have putty in Italy? If not then you will have no clue what I'm talking about. But who cares? You've got a pope!

Of course we have putty! Where do you think Michelangelo came from?

[Tombstone Mountain]

So he's still sitting at 29999... is he trying to build anticipation??

 

Wake me when I should give a shit.

Well, technically you shouldn't. It's just a post right? The journey is much more important than arriving at the destination. His 30,000th post will probably be a big letdown

[Tombstone Mountain]

I'm also beginning to question the loyalty of our European comrades. Greyfriar was suspiciously silent today, and I fear he may have abandoned his petition drive.

 

You're an impatient cat, I'll do the best that I can. ;)

The petition is still running but the responses are mostly like "Who the f**k is Goober?" or "What the f**k is going on in the USA? Nose eating?". A lot of F-bombs were dropped in the blog and I got hardly love for our fellow Rushhead.

I'm very busy at the moment to find a new kind of support for our Goober. Now let me tell you my newest idea. I work in a psychiatry and I have talked to our psychologist today. She was very shocked when she heard about the case and what happened to Mr. Jacksons nose. She agreed to help out with an assessment to attest Goober's mental incapacity. That strategy could help to set him free or at least to commit him in our institution. We currently work out a therapy for him which includes a massive acoustic irradiation so that he can make his peace with MJ songs and of course with Vapor Trails. Hopefully the judge will have an understanding for our rhythm methods.

Enough now, the detailed concept is still a work in progress and we keep our fingers crossed that everything will work out fine. Here's hope!

Maybe we should find an athletic supporter for Goobs...what size is he?

[Lorraine]

I was out shopping and picked up a gift for Goobs. A Vivian Leigh and Clark Gable Pez Dispenser - two heads on top - and Pezzies come out of both mouths at the same time. Isn't that a gas? He'll love it!

 

I'm so pleased with myself. Time to hug myself again.

[Tombstone Mountain]

Does anyone know where I can buy little bells to wear on my fingers?

http://www.amazon.com/Pairs-Professional-Fingers-Cymbal-Dancing/dp/B003HLGEFO/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1385060370&sr=8-7&keywords=Finger+bells

Does Zildjian make these too? Sabian perhaps? Edited November 22, 2013 by Tombstone Mountain

[Tombstone Mountain]

Honestly after eating Michael Jackson’s nose, we felt we were imbued with special powers. We kept repeating the lyrics to “Secret Touch” and “One Little Victory” with the hopes that Goobs would telepathically sense our group chants, thus experiencing endless torture …did it work?

I don't know if it worked, but the prison had reported that Goober was constantly visiting the ivory throne during that time.

If only we had video of this

This will never get old!

[HomesickAlien]

The Yukon Blade Grinder: Scorned Woman Edition

 

 

11.20.13

 

As the stars look down on the Yukon Blade Grinder, they certainly do it with a smile. Fortune favors the bold, and the Grinder put up a small fortune for the opportunity to interview the victims of the deranged “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” cult leader—Rush Goober. Safely making it back to the real world, the victims are ready to speak and let their story be told. Wanting to deal with a “legitimate” media outlet, the Yukon Blade Grinder was the only choice for these ladies to share their tale of woe and frustration. $10,000 bucks seemed a like pittance to help heal the wounds of this talented group. Only to happy to accept the money, Hustler founder Larry Flynt opened the door of opportunity for our oft imitated, yet never duplicated news beacon.

 

Great Expectations

 

At one point they were destined to be the highlight of attending a Rush show during the gigantic Clockwork Angels tour. Never before had the band been accompanied onstage. Eager to stretch beyond the familiar, Rush has never lacked ambition. Within minutes of the albums release, the epic “Seven Cities of Gold” skyrocketed to the top of the Canadian Adult Music charts, and it seemed only logical to pursue a duel threat of talent—exotic dance and virtuoso musicianship. Could such a combination be found?

 

Painstakingly scouring the depths of gentlemen’s clubs throughout the Great White North, Anthem Entertainment auditioned hundreds of women who fit the bill. A mere handful received the lifelong credential of being called a “Seven Cities of Gold” dancer. To stand in front of a talent-judging panel consisting of band manager Ray Danniels with Geddy, Alex and Neil was no cakewalk, and those who persevered through the gauntlet were proud to live out every Canadian woman’s dream.

 

Ever proactive, the dancers decided to have a “get to know each other” group survival outing with Les Stroud before band rehearsals. Knowing the skills of a performing musician are much different than just taking your clothes off in front of random men, they dedicated two months to learning each other’s instruments, just in case an emergency popped up and someone needed to pick up the slack. For hours upon hours they practiced on the frozen tundra of the Yukon, eating only what they found foraging, or from what they killed with their lethal arrows. Elk, moose, and their favorite red meat—beaver—had no chance against this group’s tenacious survival instincts and keen eye for the hunted.

 

Such dedication would be rewarded in someway they thought. No one wanted to be responsible for ruining the show. Spending hours upon hours in the gym toning up bodies and learning to dance in 7/8 time, the dancers put in the sweat to make the dream a fulfilling one. It seemed the axiom “perspiration causes inspiration” became the defining slogan for these minx of the Great White North. However, as rehearsals commenced and additional bit players were added to the mix, issues arose like towering flames of a funeral pyre.

 

The Flawed Couple

 

It was no surprise the SCOG dancers would be colleagues of another highly regarded performing group, the British Repertoires Acclaimed Wee Legion. Those words alone have spelled trouble for every movie requiring elite performing dwarfs, and the Yukon Blade Grinder has some experience with this crew. Supplying the needs for films such as the timeless Harry Potter saga, Lord of the Rings, Willow, and Time Bandits, the acting troupe is the lone giant of this tiny acting niche. Known for mayhem and mischief, yet in the opinion of Anthem Entertainment, well worth the potential snares of the talent vs. aggravation trade-off. The BRAWL’rs filled the unique role of bringing the story of Clockwork Angels to life. At first the union was joyful and full of wonder, as all parties felt excited about becoming a part of the Rush family.

 

Always professional when on the clock, the team enjoyed the nightlife a little too much it seems. Hitting the town after hours and appearing in tabloids dancing on tables at local establishments, whispers of doubt began to creep into company official’s minds as more and more chicanery arose. It turns out that was only the start of an ill-fated relationship destined to end up in flames.

 

The Interview: Part One

 

The Yukon Blade Grinder, with this unprecedented access, now answers some of the lingering questions alive in the mind of its readers. Upon entering the safe house supplied by Mr. Flynt we got the exclusive story behind the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” debacle. Guided into a conference room we see the ladies looking fresh and healthy, ready to clear the air regarding this saga. With placards marked only by stage names, the Grinder starts the questions rolling, however there is but one spokeswoman for the group, Robin Redbreasts. In her right hand she holds six leashes, each one attached to a SCOG dancer. It’s obvious she’s in charge. With this first installment, we probe into the minds of the Seven Cities of Gold dancers:

 

YBG: Thanks for the opportunity to meet you all today. Wow, you all look great. I love the tattoos. Turns out you all appear to be “granola girls”, not afraid of living in the elements I see. Fair to say the world is waiting for some insight into this mess. One thing people are dying to know, why? Why did you follow Rush Goober to Neverland and become a part of this cult

RR: Well, it was just a tough situation. The Orbit Room melee marked a defining moment for us. When we found out the band was giving the BRAWL’rs these stimulants called Todem, it explained away some of the mystery for their overly aggressive behavior. It made our workplace environment more stressful than it needed to be. Alex thought it was this big freaking joke when he mentioned it to us when the BRAWL’rs band was playing.

 

YBG: What was the name of the make shift band of midgets?

RR: Oedipus Complex 4. Pretty good I gotta admit! Slamming dwarf metal.

 

YBG: Ok, back to my question. You all should be use to being the objects of affection, I mean, you’re strippers. What was the straw that broke the camel’s back?

RR: Yeah, we’re used to not having eye contact when we speak to men, always checking out our racks, but the BRAWL’rs are dwarfs. They’re looking up our skirts. Bit annoying. However Goobs didn’t do any of that. He seemed to understand our situation. So we felt he was “different” than the rest of the trolls. After we got canned, he offered up this plan to help dilute the pain and disappointment of being let go. It worked for a little while, that was until he wanted us to pose naked on the animals at the Ranch—that’s where we drew the line. f**k his calendar idea!

 

YBG: You trained endlessly for the CA gig. What was it like to play with the icons of Canada?

RR: Awesome at first. Every time we played our instruments it was a blast. We loved rocking out to Manhattan Project and The Wreckers. And the dancing was even better. We were practically drooling over the chance to do our thing at a Rush concert. It’s all men and we knew the tips would flow endlessly. When the subject came up about collecting the money, which was a real fly in the ointment, the band said those funds were going to be used for their pet charity project, the Toronto Urban Resource Developmental League. It’s a reform program for incarcerated teen gangbangers from inner city Toronto. They made a big deal out of it. Even brought in Mayor Rob Ford during one of our rehearsals. It was fun watching him dry hump Neil’s bass drum during YYZ. I wonder how he’s doing now?

 

YBG: Not too well. Now, back to the story at hand. There are rumors that Rush tried to distribute a medication to the dance group to help with PMS symptoms…I believe it was called “Hand over Fist”, is that true?

RR: Yes. To their credit it got rid of the cramps, but just gave us splitting headaches instead. Overall, most women prefer cramps over a splitting migraine

 

YBG: Hmmm OK. Now you were documented chanting what appear to be lyrics from a Rush album called Vapor Trails while incarcerated…why?

RR: Honestly after eating Michael Jackson’s nose, we felt we were imbued with special powers. We kept repeating the lyrics to “Secret Touch” and “One Little Victory” with the hopes that Goobs would telepathically sense our group chants, thus experiencing endless torture …did it work?

YBG: I dunno…it sure puzzled the hell out of the investigators.

 

YBG: ok, Larry Flynt posted your bail. You all know of him, I see that a couple of you have made films for him. What’s he like to hang out with?

RR: Oh just like the BRAWL’rs, except he’s not getting out of that wheelchair to harass us.

 

 

 

--End of Part I--

 

This is getting juicy folks with the most interesting of questions to come. The Yukon Blade Grinder has been invited to spend the evening here at the safe house, free from the parameters of an interview. I do hope my cohorts at the Thistle Dew Motel understand when I don’t show up this evening with dinner. This is earth-shaking material I’m uncovering and someone needs to step in the breach to report the news…I hope I’m up for the task![/size]

[HomesickAlien]

THE THISTLE DEW

 

-Yet another pointless update

 

Forgive me for posting such a late update, but it's been a busy day here in Santa Barbara, and the lights are burning late at the Thistle Dew. In an effort to unwind, Lorraine is presently watching Forbidden Paradise, the Pola Negri film she won in the poker game with Larry Flynt the other night. I'm not a fan of silent films, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to recount the day's events.

 

I had a brief, and somewhat curious, encounter with Norman this afternoon. As I retrieved more vintage Milk Duds from the vending machine for Lorraine, I found Norman in an uncharacteristically affable mood. He informed me that I wouldn't be required to perform any more chores around the motel, and that we could stay as long as we liked. When I asked if he had been successful in extracting payment from Tombstone, he returned a lecherous smile and said I shouldn't concern myself with such things. I would soon learn the reason for his change of heart.

 

Lorraine spent the afternoon exploring some of the shops in the area. While she was searching for finger cymbals to complete her 7COG dancer ensemble, she stumbled across a boutique that deals exclusively in Pez dispensers. Aware of Goober's obsession with them, and unable to find the elusive Vapor Troll model, she settled on a two-headed Vivian Leigh/Clark Gable dispenser. Cheap trinket in hand, she returned to the Thistle Dew to prepare for our candlelight vigil at the jail.

 

We arrived at the jail shortly after dusk, and were surprised to find the grounds deserted. I didn't expect the media to be there at night, but what happened to all of the new age types who were enamored of the Neverland cult? Could it be that Goober was truly seen as a self-important little troll? A post made on TRF earlier in the day by LIX suddenly sprang to mind: "Wake me when I should give a shit." Were we alone? If only those hippie progsters hadn't gone off the cliff. . .

 

Undeterred, we spread our blanket under a date palm and lit our candles. I put the boombox we found in our room in the center of the blanket and placed the Vapor Trails Remixed CD into the machine. Miraculously, my spirits soared as OLV rang across the courtyard. It must have had a similar effect on Lorraine, as I noticed a tear running down her cheek. Our spirits were sufficiently buoyed after several hours, and since it was getting late, we called it a night and returned to the Thistle Dew.

 

Upon our return, Lorraine said she wanted to search online for finger cymbals, so I decided to take a short walk around our neighborhood. The hour was late, so forgive me if some of the details of my experience escape me, but it may be relevant to Goober's quandary.

 

As I made my way along the sidewalk not far from the entrance to the Thistle Dew, I noticed a diminutive man ambling toward me in the glow of the streetlights. I approached cautiously, as I've learned to avoid strangers in this town. He appeared to have been drinking, and asked if I could give him directions to the Best Western. I told him he wasn't in the vicinity of such luxurious accommodations, and suggested he call a taxi.

 

This didn't appease the little fellow, and he went on to say that his name was Warwick (I forget his last name), and he not only claimed to have been in a film with Jennifer Aniston, but also to have once played an ewok. He said he had heard about Goober's case on the news, and had come to "collect his fee". In the midst of his lunatic ravings, he mentioned something about being shot out of a canon during Headlong Flight, and called Goober a filthy liar. At this point my only desire was to be within the comparatively safe and sane confines of the Thistle Dew, so I immediately sprinted toward "The Dew", expletives cutting through the crisp night air behind me.

 

I was never so happy to see the reception area of our lodgings. As I walked past the counter next to the vending machine, I noticed several shirtless photos of a decidedly familiar man spread across the surface. Norman had been taking photos of me while I was working on the roof! The reason for his sudden pleasant demeanor became apparent. Since our only alternative place to stay would be the seedy Soak and Poke, I decided to keep Norman at arm's length, and hope for the best.

 

The trial has yet to begin, and loyalty to our hapless Rush brother Goober is being tested beyond comprehension. I certainly hope our mission isn't a fool's errand.

 

 

 

 

I understand this doesn't sound like such tripe if you read it in the voice of Orson Welles.

[H. P. L.]

ok guys, BIG breakthrough here in the land where Dante feared to tread.

When money, power, politics, ideals, intimidation, sheer physical force... when all these fail you, you know whom you can turn to. Your old auntie Clara, who used to do the laundry for the priest of the town. And who, with a couple of calls, can turn you to a bishop that can give you the number of an archbishop who can report a message to a diacono...

To cut it short, the Pope himself, Francesco "Big Guy", will address the matter of Goober during coming Sunday mass.

Turn on your CNNs and keep an eye for that holy balcony you all know so well: on Sunday Papa Bregoglio will make a plea for Goober's freedom! He will ask the US Government to give peace a chance and let the wild run free. I'm sure even Judge Hi won't be able to hold off against the power of love!

 

Due to family matters, I will be offline during the weekend, so I'll see you all on monday... and surely will join in the celebration of Goober's freedom! I know it's hard but, as Bon Jovi used to say, Keep the Faith!

[Tombstone Mountain]

THE THISTLE DEW

 

-Yet another pointless update

 

Forgive me for posting such a late update, but it's been a busy day here in Santa Barbara, and the lights are burning late at the Thistle Dew. In an effort to unwind, Lorraine is presently watching Forbidden Paradise, the Pola Negri film she won in the poker game with Larry Flynt the other night. I'm not a fan of silent films, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to recount the day's events.

 

I had a brief, and somewhat curious, encounter with Norman this afternoon. As I retrieved more vintage Milk Duds from the vending machine for Lorraine, I found Norman in an uncharacteristically affable mood. He informed me that I wouldn't be required to perform any more chores around the motel, and that we could stay as long as we liked. When I asked if he had been successful in extracting payment from Tombstone, he returned a lecherous smile and said I shouldn't concern myself with such things. I would soon learn the reason for his change of heart.

 

Lorraine spent the afternoon exploring some of the shops in the area. While she was searching for finger cymbals to complete her 7COG dancer ensemble, she stumbled across a boutique that deals exclusively in Pez dispensers. Aware of Goober's obsession with them, and unable to find the elusive Vapor Troll model, she settled on a two-headed Vivian Leigh/Clark Gable dispenser. Cheap trinket in hand, she returned to the Thistle Dew to prepare for our candlelight vigil at the jail.

 

We arrived at the jail shortly after dusk, and were surprised to find the grounds deserted. I didn't expect the media to be there at night, but what happened to all of the new age types who were enamored of the Neverland cult? Could it be that Goober was truly seen as a self-important little troll? A post made on TRF earlier in the day by LIX suddenly sprang to mind: "Wake me when I should give a shit." Were we alone? If only those hippie progsters hadn't gone off the cliff. . .

 

Undeterred, we spread our blanket under a date palm and lit our candles. I put the boombox we found in our room in the center of the blanket and placed the Vapor Trails Remixed CD into the machine. Miraculously, my spirits soared as OLV rang across the courtyard. It must have had a similar effect on Lorraine, as I noticed a tear running down her cheek. Our spirits were sufficiently buoyed after several hours, and since it was getting late, we called it a night and returned to the Thistle Dew.

 

Upon our return, Lorraine said she wanted to search online for finger cymbals, so I decided to take a short walk around our neighborhood. The hour was late, so forgive me if some of the details of my experience escape me, but it may be relevant to Goober's quandary.

 

As I made my way along the sidewalk not far from the entrance to the Thistle Dew, I noticed a diminutive man ambling toward me in the glow of the streetlights. I approached cautiously, as I've learned to avoid strangers in this town. He appeared to have been drinking, and asked if I could give him directions to the Best Western. I told him he wasn't in the vicinity of such luxurious accommodations, and suggested he call a taxi.

 

This didn't appease the little fellow, and he went on to say that his name was Warwick (I forget his last name), and he not only claimed to have been in a film with Jennifer Aniston, but also to have once played an ewok. He said he had heard about Goober's case on the news, and had come to "collect his fee". In the midst of his lunatic ravings, he mentioned something about being shot out of a canon during Headlong Flight, and called Goober a filthy liar. At this point my only desire was to be within the comparatively safe and sane confines of the Thistle Dew, so I immediately sprinted toward "The Dew", expletives cutting through the crisp night air behind me.

 

I was never so happy to see the reception area of our lodgings. As I walked past the counter next to the vending machine, I noticed several shirtless photos of a decidedly familiar man spread across the surface. Norman had been taking photos of me while I was working on the roof! The reason for his sudden pleasant demeanor became apparent. Since our only alternative place to stay would be the seedy Soak and Poke, I decided to keep Norman at arm's length, and hope for the best.

 

The trial has yet to begin, and loyalty to our hapless Rush brother Goober is being tested beyond comprehension. I certainly hope our mission isn't a fool's errand.

 

 

 

 

I understand this doesn't sound like such tripe if you read it in the voice of Orson Welles.

Bravo!!!! Outstanding reporting sir!

[Tombstone Mountain]

ok guys, BIG breakthrough here in the land where Dante feared to tread.

When money, power, politics, ideals, intimidation, sheer physical force... when all these fail you, you know whom you can turn to. Your old auntie Clara, who used to do the laundry for the priest of the town. And who, with a couple of calls, can turn you to a bishop that can give you the number of an archbishop who can report a message to a diacono...

To cut it short, the Pope himself, Francesco "Big Guy", will address the matter of Goober during coming Sunday mass.

Turn on your CNNs and keep an eye for that holy balcony you all know so well: on Sunday Papa Bregoglio will make a plea for Goober's freedom! He will ask the US Government to give peace a chance and let the wild run free. I'm sure even Judge Hi won't be able to hold off against the power of love!

 

Due to family matters, I will be offline during the weekend, so I'll see you all on monday... and surely will join in the celebration of Goober's freedom! I know it's hard but, as Bon Jovi used to say, Keep the Faith!

And Italy has summoned the power of God to free Rushgoober. Wow! Talk about bringing in the big guns.

Have a great weekend young man—may the farce be with you!

[Babycat]

ok guys, BIG breakthrough here in the land where Dante feared to tread.

When money, power, politics, ideals, intimidation, sheer physical force... when all these fail you, you know whom you can turn to. Your old auntie Clara, who used to do the laundry for the priest of the town. And who, with a couple of calls, can turn you to a bishop that can give you the number of an archbishop who can report a message to a diacono...

To cut it short, the Pope himself, Francesco "Big Guy", will address the matter of Goober during coming Sunday mass.

Turn on your CNNs and keep an eye for that holy balcony you all know so well: on Sunday Papa Bregoglio will make a plea for Goober's freedom! He will ask the US Government to give peace a chance and let the wild run free. I'm sure even Judge Hi won't be able to hold off against the power of love!

 

Due to family matters, I will be offline during the weekend, so I'll see you all on monday... and surely will join in the celebration of Goober's freedom! I know it's hard but, as Bon Jovi used to say, Keep the Faith!

And Italy has summoned the power of God to free Rushgoober. Wow! Talk about bringing in the big guns.

Have a great weekend young man—may the farce be with you!

Farce..! :P

[H. P. L.]

ok guys, BIG breakthrough here in the land where Dante feared to tread.

When money, power, politics, ideals, intimidation, sheer physical force... when all these fail you, you know whom you can turn to. Your old auntie Clara, who used to do the laundry for the priest of the town. And who, with a couple of calls, can turn you to a bishop that can give you the number of an archbishop who can report a message to a diacono...

To cut it short, the Pope himself, Francesco "Big Guy", will address the matter of Goober during coming Sunday mass.

Turn on your CNNs and keep an eye for that holy balcony you all know so well: on Sunday Papa Bregoglio will make a plea for Goober's freedom! He will ask the US Government to give peace a chance and let the wild run free. I'm sure even Judge Hi won't be able to hold off against the power of love!

 

Due to family matters, I will be offline during the weekend, so I'll see you all on monday... and surely will join in the celebration of Goober's freedom! I know it's hard but, as Bon Jovi used to say, Keep the Faith!

And Italy has summoned the power of God to free Rushgoober. Wow! Talk about bringing in the big guns.

Have a great weekend young man—may the farce be with you!

Farce..! :P

 

Farce ten!

Though times demand though....

[Tombstone Mountain]

ok guys, BIG breakthrough here in the land where Dante feared to tread.

When money, power, politics, ideals, intimidation, sheer physical force... when all these fail you, you know whom you can turn to. Your old auntie Clara, who used to do the laundry for the priest of the town. And who, with a couple of calls, can turn you to a bishop that can give you the number of an archbishop who can report a message to a diacono...

To cut it short, the Pope himself, Francesco "Big Guy", will address the matter of Goober during coming Sunday mass.

Turn on your CNNs and keep an eye for that holy balcony you all know so well: on Sunday Papa Bregoglio will make a plea for Goober's freedom! He will ask the US Government to give peace a chance and let the wild run free. I'm sure even Judge Hi won't be able to hold off against the power of love!

 

Due to family matters, I will be offline during the weekend, so I'll see you all on monday... and surely will join in the celebration of Goober's freedom! I know it's hard but, as Bon Jovi used to say, Keep the Faith!

And Italy has summoned the power of God to free Rushgoober. Wow! Talk about bringing in the big guns.

Have a great weekend young man—may the farce be with you!

Farce..! :P

Babycat—we've missed you. Our friends from Europe have been active on this thread, making outstanding contributions.

[Babycat]

ok guys, BIG breakthrough here in the land where Dante feared to tread.

When money, power, politics, ideals, intimidation, sheer physical force... when all these fail you, you know whom you can turn to. Your old auntie Clara, who used to do the laundry for the priest of the town. And who, with a couple of calls, can turn you to a bishop that can give you the number of an archbishop who can report a message to a diacono...

To cut it short, the Pope himself, Francesco "Big Guy", will address the matter of Goober during coming Sunday mass.

Turn on your CNNs and keep an eye for that holy balcony you all know so well: on Sunday Papa Bregoglio will make a plea for Goober's freedom! He will ask the US Government to give peace a chance and let the wild run free. I'm sure even Judge Hi won't be able to hold off against the power of love!

 

Due to family matters, I will be offline during the weekend, so I'll see you all on monday... and surely will join in the celebration of Goober's freedom! I know it's hard but, as Bon Jovi used to say, Keep the Faith!

And Italy has summoned the power of God to free Rushgoober. Wow! Talk about bringing in the big guns.

Have a great weekend young man—may the farce be with you!

Farce..! :P

Babycat—we've missed you. Our friends from Europe have been active on this thread, making outstanding contributions.

As much as I love this thread, I don't have the imagination to come up with the posts I've been reading..! :P

[losingit2k]

It's official: Italy has its own teleportation device, pretty much USS Enterprise kinda stuff.

And, it's located in President Berlusconi's office.

Today (it's 9 pm here right now) I called in a few favours and managed to get a hearing in Berlusconi's manor, which btw is very near where I live.

Knowing the Presidente's world famous love for female beauty, I got to his personal segretario with a BIG picture of the 7COG dancers in their outfits into my hands.

"Oh yes", said the secretary, "Mr. Berlusconi will surely be interested in getting these fine young women out of prison..."

"Actually" said I, "They're already out of prison. Goober is still in there".

"Who is Goober?"

"He's a guy..."

Just like that - ZAP! - I found myself, in less than a blink of an eye, in the local piazza.

"... that loves making endless lists that start with Amon Dhuul..."

A couple of old crones, going to church, gave me a chilling stare of accusation. A small dog barked at me. A Mini Cooper conducted by a 16 years old, playing Lana del Rey at uncanny power, nearly turned me into roadkill.

I got my bearings back together, snarked, and got home. Had to play VT Remixed all afternoon to let the shock wear out.

So the political solution is a no no. But never fear. We Italians always have an ace up our sleeves. I already have another plan...

What's all white and lives in Rome? Yeah, you guessed right.

THE POPE!!!!!

You Italian men. American women are putty in your hands. Do you have putty in Italy? If not then you will have no clue what I'm talking about. But who cares? You've got a pope!

Of course we have putty! Where do you think Michelangelo came from?

The Sewer? http://zeimg.com/uploads/wallpapers/6/Filmes/MichelAngelo-Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-TMNT.jpg

[losingit2k]

It's official: Italy has its own teleportation device, pretty much USS Enterprise kinda stuff.

And, it's located in President Berlusconi's office.

Today (it's 9 pm here right now) I called in a few favours and managed to get a hearing in Berlusconi's manor, which btw is very near where I live.

Knowing the Presidente's world famous love for female beauty, I got to his personal segretario with a BIG picture of the 7COG dancers in their outfits into my hands.

"Oh yes", said the secretary, "Mr. Berlusconi will surely be interested in getting these fine young women out of prison..."

"Actually" said I, "They're already out of prison. Goober is still in there".

"Who is Goober?"

"He's a guy..."

Just like that - ZAP! - I found myself, in less than a blink of an eye, in the local piazza.

"... that loves making endless lists that start with Amon Dhuul..."

A couple of old crones, going to church, gave me a chilling stare of accusation. A small dog barked at me. A Mini Cooper conducted by a 16 years old, playing Lana del Rey at uncanny power, nearly turned me into roadkill.

I got my bearings back together, snarked, and got home. Had to play VT Remixed all afternoon to let the shock wear out.

So the political solution is a no no. But never fear. We Italians always have an ace up our sleeves. I already have another plan...

What's all white and lives in Rome? Yeah, you guessed right.

THE POPE!!!!!

I need to warn you guys that everytime one of us mentions Vapor Trails this happens: at the prison:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJZbduE6X1I

Edited November 22, 2013 by losingit2k

[Tombstone Mountain]

It's official: Italy has its own teleportation device, pretty much USS Enterprise kinda stuff.

And, it's located in President Berlusconi's office.

Today (it's 9 pm here right now) I called in a few favours and managed to get a hearing in Berlusconi's manor, which btw is very near where I live.

Knowing the Presidente's world famous love for female beauty, I got to his personal segretario with a BIG picture of the 7COG dancers in their outfits into my hands.

"Oh yes", said the secretary, "Mr. Berlusconi will surely be interested in getting these fine young women out of prison..."

"Actually" said I, "They're already out of prison. Goober is still in there".

"Who is Goober?"

"He's a guy..."

Just like that - ZAP! - I found myself, in less than a blink of an eye, in the local piazza.

"... that loves making endless lists that start with Amon Dhuul..."

A couple of old crones, going to church, gave me a chilling stare of accusation. A small dog barked at me. A Mini Cooper conducted by a 16 years old, playing Lana del Rey at uncanny power, nearly turned me into roadkill.

I got my bearings back together, snarked, and got home. Had to play VT Remixed all afternoon to let the shock wear out.

So the political solution is a no no. But never fear. We Italians always have an ace up our sleeves. I already have another plan...

What's all white and lives in Rome? Yeah, you guessed right.

THE POPE!!!!!

I need to warn you guys that everytime one of us mentions Vapor Trails this happens: at the prison:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJZbduE6X1I

TRF needs to issue a special award for this post!

[Tombstone Mountain]

It's official: Italy has its own teleportation device, pretty much USS Enterprise kinda stuff.

And, it's located in President Berlusconi's office.

Today (it's 9 pm here right now) I called in a few favours and managed to get a hearing in Berlusconi's manor, which btw is very near where I live.

Knowing the Presidente's world famous love for female beauty, I got to his personal segretario with a BIG picture of the 7COG dancers in their outfits into my hands.

"Oh yes", said the secretary, "Mr. Berlusconi will surely be interested in getting these fine young women out of prison..."

"Actually" said I, "They're already out of prison. Goober is still in there".

"Who is Goober?"

"He's a guy..."

Just like that - ZAP! - I found myself, in less than a blink of an eye, in the local piazza.

"... that loves making endless lists that start with Amon Dhuul..."

A couple of old crones, going to church, gave me a chilling stare of accusation. A small dog barked at me. A Mini Cooper conducted by a 16 years old, playing Lana del Rey at uncanny power, nearly turned me into roadkill.

I got my bearings back together, snarked, and got home. Had to play VT Remixed all afternoon to let the shock wear out.

So the political solution is a no no. But never fear. We Italians always have an ace up our sleeves. I already have another plan...

What's all white and lives in Rome? Yeah, you guessed right.

THE POPE!!!!!

You Italian men. American women are putty in your hands. Do you have putty in Italy? If not then you will have no clue what I'm talking about. But who cares? You've got a pope!

Of course we have putty! Where do you think Michelangelo came from?

The Sewer? http://zeimg.com/uploads/wallpapers/6/Filmes/MichelAngelo-Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-TMNT.jpg

Hero #1 in my household...my 8 year old is nuts about him!

 

[Tombstone Mountain]

Hey Hector! Did you know the leader of the Seven Cities of Gold dancers is gonna run an article today? Isn't that exciting?

[losingit2k]

Hey Hector! Did you know the leader of the Seven Cities of Gold dancers is gonna run an article today? Isn't that exciting?

Who's the leader?

Edited November 22, 2013 by losingit2k

[Tombstone Mountain]

Hey Hector! Did you know the leader of the Seven Cities of Gold dancers is gonna run an article today? Isn't that exciting?

Who's the leader?

Robin Redbreasts.

[Lorraine]

ok guys, BIG breakthrough here in the land where Dante feared to tread.

When money, power, politics, ideals, intimidation, sheer physical force... when all these fail you, you know whom you can turn to. Your old auntie Clara, who used to do the laundry for the priest of the town. And who, with a couple of calls, can turn you to a bishop that can give you the number of an archbishop who can report a message to a diacono...

To cut it short, the Pope himself, Francesco "Big Guy", will address the matter of Goober during coming Sunday mass.

Turn on your CNNs and keep an eye for that holy balcony you all know so well: on Sunday Papa Bregoglio will make a plea for Goober's freedom! He will ask the US Government to give peace a chance and let the wild run free. I'm sure even Judge Hi won't be able to hold off against the power of love!

 

Due to family matters, I will be offline during the weekend, so I'll see you all on monday... and surely will join in the celebration of Goober's freedom! I know it's hard but, as Bon Jovi used to say, Keep the Faith!

 

 

:o :o :ebert: The pope!!! Why didn't I think of that? Of course!! This is right up his alley. He has a soft spot in his heart for the little people. But he better be careful what he says in his little ferverino - they're getting him into trouble.

 

Let's hope for the best, and I am so glad we have an on-the-spot reporter right there in Italiano.

 

HPL, tell Francis I said "Hiya!" and that I am still waiting for his phone call. :)

[Lorraine]

As you all may or may not be aware, dancers aren't known for their brains. Which is why they are professional dancers. I mean, what else can they do to earn money? (don't answer that please!)

 

Well, it occurred to them that although their official name is the Seven Cities of Gold dancers, they only have six dancers. Which one of those six had the light bulb go off in her pea brain, I do not know, but whoever it was must be the brains of the operation, which isn't saying much. But, I digress.

 

The first person they turned to (natch! :) ) was me. But, you know, as much as I enjoy running around dressed like something out of Arabian Nights and ringing my little finger bells in everyones face (don't try it with Norman - what a temper! phew!) I am just too busy saving mankind from itself to indulge in frivolity. I suggested, ever so nicely, that they audition for #7. I had to break out the dictionary to show them what the word "audition" meant. Where did Rush find these airhead women anyway?

 

:o News Bulletin Alert! Gotta go. Maybe it is Goob news. Be back with the rest of this sordid story later. :outtahere:

[Lorraine]

False alarm! But guess what? The chimp in the negligee escaped from the Flynt Estate. Last seen running down Wilshire Boulevard! No wonder why they call California the land of empty - once we get this RushGoober business settled (please let it be soon - our hope is in Francis, the POTUS and the United Nations...not necessarily in that order), I'm never coming back here again. No wonder why Neil lives here. He fits right in.

 

Back to the audition (still can't get over anyone not knowing what the word means)...since some of them can't read well ("well" is a euphemism for "not at all" but I am being kind...if comes naturally to me you know :) ), I had to go through the applications for the seventh dancer. A few that I had to throw immediately out (Sheldon Cooper applied and some guy from Denmark called AnalogGrownup).

 

:o Another News Bulletin Alert!! Maybe they caught the chimp! I'll be back.