Crushing depression

[Gompers]

It's good to have some answers and be given some expectations. This should help alleviate future panics about the blues. Understanding is key to controlling it.

 

The best thing to do, IMO, is firmly believe that you will not let this get the best of you. All you need is one little victory over beating a spell to come to your aid next time it happens. Focus on the wins over relapses and let the confidence build. Do not let yourself sink into that helpless feeling. Meds do help for sure, but to be med free, you must use 'tools' and make those tools your aids. Remember to say "I can do it!' but more importantly, believe it.

[Digital Man]

Glad to hear your appt went well and that you have a Dr that actually listens. Hopefully the meds and therapy work well and you get some relief. Been down this road myself before, be completely honest about your meds and side effects, try another if there are odd side effects.

 

Thank you for keeping us in the loop, I just found this thread 2 days ago and have been hoping you get the help you need. Keep us updated.

[Tick]

We love you, Mara.

[1 of the 7]

Hope your treatment goes well! Hopefully the meds will help lay down a healthy pattern that you can then learn to repeat

[HowItIs]

Very happy for you! It's great to find a doctor who will sit down and spend time with you. Hard to find anymore.

 

Here's to the Lexapro doing its job. We're still gonna be here for you, though. No matter what.

[nobodys hero]

I'm glad your appointment went well. I've tried Lexapro, I hope it works well for you and things start to look up for you soon.

[librarian]

QUOTE (Mara @ Sep 29 2011, 08:55 AM)

Well, I LOVE my GP/internist.  She spent 45 minutes with me, getting my history and explaining a lot.  I told her that one thing really compounding the whole situation is that I feel guilty about it, as if I have no right to feel this way.  Sure, I've got problems and worries, but nothing that warrants the tears and panic and feelings of numbed joylessness. She said that's very common in clinically depressed people and is almost a symptom itself.  So I have a prescription for Lexapro and a recommendation to a psychologist she knows.  I expressed my concerns about medication without therapy and she said yes, therapy is recommended, BUT it is generally not a cure when depression is pathological in nature.  In other words, I may have "relapses" and need to go back on meds from time to time.  She compared it to being diabetic or any other chronic condition - it's a physiological thing that can be managed long term, and managed well, but not necessarily "cured".  She agrees that therapy will give me a few more "tools" to work with.

I'm glad things went well with your GP. I always like having a counselor of some sort if I'm on meds, to talk to someone and just to get all that weight off your shoulders and that person is not judgmental. You end up sorting things out for yourself.

From reading your posts, you have been through a lot, and you are an incredibly strong person, and I wish you nothing but good health and happiness.

[GhostGirl]

So glad things are on the upswing...it helps so much to have someone to talk to.

 

[Mara]

Yowza, I am SO sleepy today, and had a bit of a tough time getting decent sleep last night. Both are mentioned as possible side effects of Lexapro (but should diminish after 1-3 weeks).

 

I've taken Celexa, Lexapro's predecessor, before, and don't remember having these side effects - all I had were the weird and vivid dreams. And would just one dose knock me sideways? I only took my first tablet last night!

[ridertoo98]

Glad you are on a "up". Sucks being that way.

[GhostGirl]

QUOTE (Mara @ Sep 30 2011, 01:45 PM)

Yowza, I am SO sleepy today, and had a bit of a tough time getting decent sleep last night. Both are mentioned as possible side effects of Lexapro (but should diminish after 1-3 weeks). I've taken Celexa, Lexapro's predecessor, before, and don't remember having these side effects - all I had were the weird and vivid dreams. And would just one dose knock me sideways? I only took my first tablet last night!

That's what my doctor put me on. Celexa, I mean. Just started it about 4 days ago, and I haven't noticed anything, good or bad.

 

Feeling majorly down. I don't want to hijack your thread though, K... I guess it's just knowing you (and others who've posted) understand.

 

Stephen had a good weekend - remarkably good, in fact, because a book I'd ordered for him that he was anticipating on Saturday didn't come, and he didn't freak - but still, I feel so low.

 

I keep reading on Facebook about all the get-togethers people have to watch games on Saturdays. Nobody ever invites my family. I guess we're just too complicated.

 

Now that I think about it...maybe there's no medicine to fix this.

[Mara]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Oct 2 2011, 08:54 AM)

QUOTE (Mara @ Sep 30 2011, 01:45 PM) Yowza, I am SO sleepy today, and had a bit of a tough time getting decent sleep last night.  Both are mentioned as possible side effects of Lexapro (but should diminish after 1-3 weeks).  I've taken Celexa, Lexapro's predecessor, before, and don't remember having these side effects - all I had were the weird and vivid dreams. And would just one dose knock me sideways?  I only took my first tablet last night! That's what my doctor put me on. Celexa, I mean. Just started it about 4 days ago, and I haven't noticed anything, good or bad.   Feeling majorly down. I don't want to hijack your thread though, K... I guess it's just knowing you (and others who've posted) understand.   Stephen had a good weekend - remarkably good, in fact, because a book I'd ordered for him that he was anticipating on Saturday didn't come, and he didn't freak - but still, I feel so low.   I keep reading on Facebook about all the get-togethers people have to watch games on Saturdays. Nobody ever invites my family. I guess we're just too complicated.   Now that I think about it...maybe there's no medicine to fix this. Hijack away.   I feel for you, though there's no way I can even begin to comprehend the challenges your life presents. At least with me it's just me, mostly. While I can't say it doesn't affect my family when I'm in one of my "states", it's not like I'm under pressure to keep things together so the whole shebang doesn't fall to bits. I.e., no kids depending on me.

[Digital Man]

Hey Mara, hope all is going well. Just wanted to check in and see how things are going.

 

 

 

[Mara]

QUOTE (Digital Man @ Oct 4 2011, 09:08 AM)

Hey Mara, hope all is going well. Just wanted to check in and see how things are going.

Aw, thanks! I can tentatively say I THINK I've noticed improvements, though it's only been 5 days since I started the stuff. I am a bit calmer and more "even-keeled", I think. Also my sleep schedule seems to be starting to normalize a little. Thank god for that, as I was so tired at work yesterday I could barely keep my eyes open! Took a 3-hour nap when I got home and still had a decent night's sleep.

 

 

Medications have certainly advanced in the past 20 years. The first time I was "treated" for depression in 1987 all they could give me was Librium.

[Digital Man]

QUOTE (Mara @ Oct 4 2011, 10:30 AM)

QUOTE (Digital Man @ Oct 4 2011, 09:08 AM) Hey Mara, hope all is going well.  Just wanted to check in and see how things are going. Aw, thanks! I can tentatively say I THINK I've noticed improvements, though it's only been 5 days since I started the stuff. I am a bit calmer and more "even-keeled", I think. Also my sleep schedule seems to be starting to normalize a little. Thank god for that, as I was so tired at work yesterday I could barely keep my eyes open! Took a 3-hour nap when I got home and still had a decent night's sleep.     Medications have certainly advanced in the past 20 years. The first time I was "treated" for depression in 1987 all they could give me was Librium. That's great you're seeing some improvement already. If I recall it usually takes about 3 weeks for the meds to really kick in.   Keep us up to date.

[Test4VitalSigns]

hope you feel better Mara....Back in the early to mid 90's I went thru suicidal depression hell but now proud to say I'm a survivor. It is very true that things DO get better and that you have to hang tough. So glad those dark days are very much behind me and hope the same for you.

[Digital Man]

How's everything going mara? Hope things are starting to even out and you are getting some relief.

[Mara]

Thanks so much for asking.

 

I nearly gave up on the Lexapro at one point because I didn't like what it was doing to me - I was just WIRED 24/7 and having a hard time getting to sleep. Plus it's banjaxed my appetite, and it takes a lot to put me off food.

 

But now I think I'm starting to adjust finally, after a little over 2 weeks. I wasn't as crashy-bangy all over the place today, and right now I am really, really sleepy. So I hope to be able to drift right off to sleep.

 

Mood-wise, I've been very, very on edge, but I am not sure if that the meds or my state of mind - probably both. But I am starting to even out some, I think; keeping my fingers crossed! I know there are other options med-wise, so I am not giving up.

[Rolinda Bonz]

dood, my thought and prayers are with you.

 

i realize my opinion has no respect on this board

and that my faith appears counter-itelligent to most

 

but if you reach a place where you have no hope in anything else

call upon the God of Abraham to save you!

 

medicine may seem to do for a time, but the One who created you

knows exactly what you need in your heart. He is faithful. He will do it.

 

He is good for it!

 

 

 

[Mara]

^^^ Thank you for the good thoughts and prayers.

 

But I did want to address one part of your post. I'm not sure how you meant it, and I may be a bit sensitive to it because I do have a very religious brother-in-law who subscribes to the "too blessed to be depressed" simplistic mindset. He sees the need for medication as a crutch and a sign of weakness. Anxiety and depression, according to him, is a sin because it means one is not putting enough faith in God. (He does not know my current state - his wife takes meds. I've seen the grief he gives her and prefer not to subject myself to same).

 

There are still a number of people who fail to understand that chronic depression is a physiological condition, much like diabetes or high blood pressure. No one tells people with those conditions to "just pray to God about it and don't be dependent on medications." And it's not like the medications commonly taken for depression cause euphoria - it's not like I'm dosing myself with heroin every morning.

 

I don't think you meant it that way, but I just wanted to clarify.

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

[Gompers]

[LeaveMyThingAlone]

QUOTE (Mara @ Oct 15 2011, 10:27 PM)

Thanks so much for asking. I nearly gave up on the Lexapro at one point because I didn't like what it was doing to me - I was just WIRED 24/7 and having a hard time getting to sleep. Plus it's banjaxed my appetite, and it takes a lot to put me off food. But now I think I'm starting to adjust finally, after a little over 2 weeks. I wasn't as crashy-bangy all over the place today, and right now I am really, really sleepy. So I hope to be able to drift right off to sleep. Mood-wise, I've been very, very on edge, but I am not sure if that the meds or my state of mind - probably both. But I am starting to even out some, I think; keeping my fingers crossed! I know there are other options med-wise, so I am not giving up.

That's an interesting reaction you're having to Lexapro. I have never been on any anti-depressants but everyone I know that has has talked about the opposite effect. It makes them almost zombie like with no real energy...seems you are experiencing some sort of paradoxial affect to it?

[Mara]

Just updating.

 

I can officially say I had a weekend, at least relative to how I've been feeling for the past 6 weeks or so. Got a lot done - some rearranging of furniture, "fall cleaning", dogs bathed. It's nice to have a prolonged (more than a few hours of one day) period of feeling good.

 

My husband bought me a magnetic arrow for the fridge. I point it up or down depending on my frame of mind, so he knows what to expect! It pointed "up" mostly this weekend.

Edited October 24, 2011 by Mara

[Janie]

QUOTE (Mara @ Oct 23 2011, 08:45 PM)

Just updating. I can officially say I had a weekend, at least relative to how I've been feeling for the past 6 weeks or so. Got a lot done - some rearranging of furniture, "fall cleaning", dogs bathed. It's nice to have a prolonged (more than a few hours of one day) period of feeling good. My husband bought me a magnetic arrow for the fridge. I point it up or down depending on my frame of mind, so he knows what to expect! It pointed "up" mostly this weekend.

Good! So glad to hear that things are looking up. You deserve it.