Moonraker Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 QUOTE (barney_rebel @ Sep 4 2004, 06:01 AM) http://www.ebaumsworld.com/buddiesforever.html lol, someone doesnt like Michael Moore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chasartymac Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 When wiping is simply not enough!! http://img38.exs.cx/img38/9094/ClagGone.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 4, 2004 Share Posted September 4, 2004 http://media.ebaumsworld.com/MissYourDressIverse.wmv Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 A wonderful Message by George Carlin: The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more co mputers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 omg too funny http://www.gimpcity.com/movies/britneys_breasts.swf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 Da plane...DA plane http://www.gimpcity.com/movies/midget_movie.mpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 (edited) ok this one starts off slow but oman if u just give it some time an watch it all way threw ...crazy trainin vid http://www.gimpcity.com/movies/forklift.htm Edited September 5, 2004 by DonnaWanna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 http://www.bruceandtheresa.com/hardfunnypics/defeat.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 http://www.bruceandtheresa.com/hardfunnypics/arguing.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 5, 2004 Share Posted September 5, 2004 http://www.bruceandtheresa.com/hardfunnypics/acdc.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 A man walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself." So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostGirl Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Sep 6 2004, 01:22 AM) A man walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself." So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!" OMG....too funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RushRevisited Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Sep 6 2004, 02:22 AM) A man walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself." So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowdog Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Sep 6 2004, 02:22 AM) A man walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself." So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!" Gee, I wonder how that night ended? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madra sneachta Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 QUOTE (Snowdog @ Sep 6 2004, 07:58 PM) QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Sep 6 2004, 02:22 AM) A man walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself." So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!" Gee, I wonder how that night ended? Methinks the iron was used.....but not on the neglige Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barney_rebel Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 So there was this old guy that was just diagnosed with cancer. The doctor tells him that he only has about a month to live. Sadly, he realized he has done nothing in his lifetime to serve his country. So he enlists in the army. The recruiter tells him that he is too old to enlist. The old guy sadly asks, "Is there anything I can do for my country?" The recruiter thinks for a second and answers, "Yes - you can donate some sperm. We are trying to develop steroids for our soldiers through growth hormones. Go see the nurse if you are interested." So the old guy is excited of this opportunity and goes and sees the nurse. The nurse hands him a jar and tells him to use the back room. The old guy takes the jar and goes into the back room. The nurse hears moaning and growning for about 10 minutes straight. Finally the old guy pops out of the room and she sees that the jar is empty. He says to her, "look - I tried with my right hand, I tried with my left hand... and I even tried with both hands.... But I can't open the goddamn jar..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 QUOTE (barney_rebel @ Sep 7 2004, 11:46 AM) So there was this old guy that was just diagnosed with cancer. The doctor tells him that he only has about a month to live. Sadly, he realized he has done nothing in his lifetime to serve his country. So he enlists in the army. The recruiter tells him that he is too old to enlist. The old guy sadly asks, "Is there anything I can do for my country?" The recruiter thinks for a second and answers, "Yes - you can donate some sperm. We are trying to develop steroids for our soldiers through growth hormones. Go see the nurse if you are interested." So the old guy is excited of this opportunity and goes and sees the nurse. The nurse hands him a jar and tells him to use the back room. The old guy takes the jar and goes into the back room. The nurse hears moaning and growning for about 10 minutes straight. Finally the old guy pops out of the room and she sees that the jar is empty. He says to her, "look - I tried with my right hand, I tried with my left hand... and I even tried with both hands.... But I can't open the goddamn jar..." GROAN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 http://img72.exs.cx/img72/870/myfirstmethlab2wsq.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowdog Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Sep 7 2004, 09:30 PM) http://img72.exs.cx/img72/870/myfirstmethlab2wsq.jpg That is sooooooooooo wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madra sneachta Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. ---------------------------- When I decorate I use my step ladder, because I don't get on with my real one. .....btw, the funniest thing about this thread is the idea that I would decorate!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/functoons3.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/functoons4.jpg thanx to my friend eric for emailing these to me.... there's more to come, but i didn't want to post them all today...wayyyyy to many.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest,meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says, "Grandpa,....... Go home, You're drunk." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 Weeniesavers Inc. WOMAN CHOPS OFF SLEEPING HUSBAND'S PENIS, DROPS IT FROM MOVING CAR! DON'T LAUGH, IT'S TRUE! IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!! Right now, thousands of agitated, irate women have read this headline and are contemplating similar action against you the next time you make an unwanted sexual advance, look at them the wrong way, or just generally piss them off! MEN, PROTECT YOURSELF NOW! If you found yourself a victim of CDS (Chop and Drop Syndrome), could you be sure the appropriate authorities would find your chopped member in time, and intact! Could you be sure the penis part they found was even yours? INQUIRE NOW ABOUT OUR LOW COST PENIS PROTECTION PLAN! Plan A - The "Basic Package" We will register your penis and scrotum and tattoo them with their own unique registration numbers, insuring that in case of separation, you will get a perfect match EVERY TIME! Plan B - The "Jurassic Prick" program. We will take a cell sample from your penis and clone replacement parts for you in the event a tractor-trailer rig runs over your penis, or some wild animal mistakes your detached member for a chew toy! Plan C - "Balls of Steel" For those of you who believe in prevention, we offer a one-size-fits-all battery operated stainless steel jock strap that can be worn when necessary. When you are asleep, an alarm will be activated when metal or other hazardous objects come within one foot of the jock strap. This will guarantee you a full night's sleep, free of worry! DON'T GET CAUGHT SHORT...... ORDER TODAY! CALL 1-800-SAV-A-DIK Our operators are standing by for your order Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Notorious B.S.G. Posted September 10, 2004 Author Share Posted September 10, 2004 Tough Love Much has been said about "tough love" for misbehaving children. Most of America's populace thinks it very improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of "those moments". One that we found very effective is for me just take the child for a car ride and talk. They usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our little car ride together. I've included the photo below of one of my sessions, with our son, in case you would like to use the technique. KEEP GOING DOWN. KEEP GOING DOWN. KEEP GOING DOWN. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v411/bsg2112/bsg2112/CarRide.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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