Ungrateful Friends

[Boots]

A friend of mine has been having a lot of personal struggles lately. So I bought him some art supplies worth about $150.00. I went to his studio to drop them off, but he wasn’t there at the time. I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there. I ended up dropping the supplies on a stool with a note attached. I never heard back if he liked or hated them. No words of appreciation or gratitude. That reminded me of a friend from high school who didn’t send me a thank you card after I bought her a wedding present. Why do I bother doing nice things for people? Has anyone else had similar experiences?

[Narps]

The question I would ask is.... Did it make you feel good to give?

[Lorraine]

A friend of mine has been having a lot of personal struggles lately. So I bought him some art supplies worth about $150.00. I went to his studio to drop them off, but he wasn’t there at the time. I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there. I ended up dropping the supplies on a stool with a note attached. I never heard back if he liked or hated them. No words of appreciation or gratitude. That reminded me of a friend from high school who didn’t send me a thank you card after I bought her a wedding present. Why do I bother doing nice things for people? Has anyone else had similar experiences?

 

Yes. More times than I care to remember. But please don't let it stop you from being kind and thoughtful. You won't regret it, and I have lived long enough to know that what goes around, comes around.

 

Gratitude is becoming more and more rare as the "entitlement" mentality grows.

Edited July 8, 2014 by Lorraine

[Lorraine]

By the way, I think that was a very nice thing that you did for your friend.

[troutman]

So called friends like that I weeded out of my life many years ago!!

[thesweetscience]

A friend of mine has been having a lot of personal struggles lately. So I bought him some art supplies worth about $150.00. I went to his studio to drop them off, but he wasn’t there at the time. I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there. I ended up dropping the supplies on a stool with a note attached. I never heard back if he liked or hated them. No words of appreciation or gratitude. That reminded me of a friend from high school who didn’t send me a thank you card after I bought her a wedding present. Why do I bother doing nice things for people? Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Many times. People suck and that is why I live for me and me alone.

[Boots]

Thanks everyone for their thoughts and kind words. It makes up for my bad experience.

This ordeal brought a whole new meaning to that QOTSA song in my siggy.

[Chicken hawk]

Don't Let

Negative and toxic people

Rent Space in your head.

 

 

Raise the rent and

Kick them out!

Edited July 8, 2014 by Chicken hawk

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

A friend of mine has been having a lot of personal struggles lately. So I bought him some art supplies worth about $150.00. I went to his studio to drop them off, but he wasn’t there at the time. I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there. I ended up dropping the supplies on a stool with a note attached. I never heard back if he liked or hated them. No words of appreciation or gratitude. That reminded me of a friend from high school who didn’t send me a thank you card after I bought her a wedding present. Why do I bother doing nice things for people? Has anyone else had similar experiences?

 

I had a friend who was WAY more troubled than I was because of her excessive partying. She said that she always wanted a llama (She was 36, so I don't know either.) so I decided to do the next best thing and buy a share of one from Heifer International as a gift. Well, she did thank me, but that didn't stop her from getting offended later when I told her that leaving the state in her car to escape her family and her debts was probably a sign that she needed help. So, I guess we stopped communicating. :eyeroll:

[troutman]

Thanks everyone for their thoughts and kind words. It makes up for my bad experience.

This ordeal brought a whole new meaning to that QOTSA song in my siggy.

 

I found this one on the internet,

 

There ae many more examples. I realized many years ago that if you don't address this issue. The people at least who I was dealing with will only drag you down and set you back. You my find yourself in trouble with the law ect.

 

Sorry,

 

Forgot the link.

 

 

http://observer.com/2004/06/weeding-out-your-friends/

Edited July 8, 2014 by troutman

[Johnny Gilbert]

 

"All that you can do is wish them well..."

 

 

[Principled Man]

I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there.

 

Next time you encounter these two D-bags, have your Taser with you.....and USE it..... ;)

 

Finding real friends used to be fairly easy. Not in today's world. So much narcissism, self-centeredness, and eroding social skills.......good people such as yourself are an endangered species. :o

Edited July 8, 2014 by Principled Man

[RushCanuck]

Nice gesture on your part.

Did your friend receive the art supplies? The 2 acquaintences didn't take them?

Anyways, it's better to give than receive. Don't let the negative 2 get you down.. I ignore negative people, but I try very hard not to be negative about them. This is hard to do but I believe what goes around comes around.

[Boots]

Nice gesture on your part.

Did your friend receive the art supplies? The 2 acquaintences didn't take them?

Anyways, it's better to give than receive. Don't let the negative 2 get you down.. I ignore negative people, but I try very hard not to be negative about them. This is hard to do but I believe what goes around comes around.

I still don't know. I don't wanna bug him. He's been through a lot...which was why I did what I did in the first place.

I was originally gonna post this thread at an arts forum, but then I was scared he might find it.

I consider this chapter of my life to be over now. Moving on.

[goose]

I never ever expect anything in return for a gesture of kindness.

 

In regards to the thank you card thing, I also resent that expectation. I say thank you at the moment, why is a card necessary? If I do send a thank you card, shouldn't I receive a card in return for that act of kindness? (You can see where this will go)

 

Be sincere. Give freely. Give time instead of things. That's my view of gifting.

[Cygnus 2112]

If you buy me a gift for my grad or wedding and I thank you for it when I receive it, what's the point in sending out a card to thank you again. Doesn't it become a little redundant saying thanks multiple times. You bought me a coffee pot, I thanked you for it, and then a week later you came over and we had coffee that didn't taste like shit and I thanked you for it again. Yet you are mad at me for not sending you a card. WTF. Edited July 9, 2014 by Cygnus 2112

[Aikenrooster]

I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there.

 

Next time you encounter these two D-bags, have your Taser with you.....and USE it..... ;)

 

Finding real friends used to be fairly easy. Not in today's world. So much narcissism, self-centeredness, and eroding social skills.......good people such as yourself are an endangered species. :o

What's wrong with this? And, I'd argue that one gives to make oneself feel better. Also, isn't the OP being self-centered for expecting a thank you card? Of course she is, and that is why she gave in the first place, and I don't see anything wrong with that. No one has friends for altruistic purposes. They have friends to make themselves happy. Hopefully, the friendship is reciprocal, and both parties are happier having friendship with one another.

I'd also argue that if you're looking for virtuous people to be friends with, you'll only find 4 or 5 of those in this entire life.

[tx_rush]

I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there.

 

Next time you encounter these two D-bags, have your Taser with you.....and USE it..... ;)

 

Finding real friends used to be fairly easy. Not in today's world. So much narcissism, self-centeredness, and eroding social skills.......good people such as yourself are an endangered species. :o

What's wrong with this? And, I'd argue that one gives to make oneself feel better. Also, isn't the OP being self-centered for expecting a thank you card? Of course she is, and that is why she gave in the first place, and I don't see anything wrong with that. No one has friends for altruistic purposes. They have friends to make themselves happy. Hopefully, the friendship is reciprocal, and both parties are happier having friendship with one another.

I'd also argue that if you're looking for virtuous people to be friends with, you'll only find 4 or 5 of those in this entire life.

 

I would consider myself very lucky, I have a significantly more than 4 or 5 of those people in my life. I think you are being a bit cynical. I have seen way too much good in people in my life. To me, love is wanting what is best for another person. If you are wanting something in return for your deed, that is not necessarily bad, but its not really loving, its more reciprocal like you said.

[J2112YYZ]

The problem you have here is that you don't know if your friend even got these supplies. These two other people could have taken them or threw them in the thrash for all you know. The best thing to do is at least send your friend a text message and just ask him if he got the stuff you dropped off? Since you said he's going through some stuff, it's possible he doesn't really know how to react to what you did if he got the things you left. Some people have never had family or friends who do nice things like that for them. If this is the case, he may just not be used to those kind of nice gestures and doesn't really know what to say. Don't give up on the friendship until you've got the full story of what happened to the things you left at his place. As for being upset about not getting a thank you card for a wedding gift, I wouldn't worry about that. There's usually a lot of people and gifts at wedding's and it's not always possible for the bride and groom to thank everybody or even remember who bought them what. There's a lot going on for a couple leading up to getting married and especially on the day of the wedding. So, the simple fact that it could've slipped their minds as who got them what is very likely.

 

I've had ungrateful friends in the past and those people aren't my friends anymore. As time goes by you learn how to weed these kind of people out of your life. But it doesn't mean you'll never stop encountering people like that.

Edited July 9, 2014 by J2112YYZ

[Principled Man]

I'd also argue that if you're looking for virtuous people to be friends with, you'll only find 4 or 5 of those in this entire life.

 

This is true because so many people these days are narcissistic, self-centered, and have eroding social skills. Thanks for proving my point. :)

 

 

Having 4-5 really good friends - people who actually care for and respect you, people in whom you have absolute trust, people who are happy to say "THANK YOU" for gifts that you give them - would be a godsend for anyone.

[Aikenrooster]

I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there.

 

Next time you encounter these two D-bags, have your Taser with you.....and USE it..... ;)

 

Finding real friends used to be fairly easy. Not in today's world. So much narcissism, self-centeredness, and eroding social skills.......good people such as yourself are an endangered species. :o

What's wrong with this? And, I'd argue that one gives to make oneself feel better. Also, isn't the OP being self-centered for expecting a thank you card? Of course she is, and that is why she gave in the first place, and I don't see anything wrong with that. No one has friends for altruistic purposes. They have friends to make themselves happy. Hopefully, the friendship is reciprocal, and both parties are happier having friendship with one another.

I'd also argue that if you're looking for virtuous people to be friends with, you'll only find 4 or 5 of those in this entire life.

 

I would consider myself very lucky, I have a significantly more than 4 or 5 of those people in my life. I think you are being a bit cynical. I have seen way too much good in people in my life. To me, love is wanting what is best for another person. If you are wanting something in return for your deed, that is not necessarily bad, but its not really loving, its more reciprocal like you said.

Yes, if you have more than 4 or 5 people in your life who are truly virtuous and whom you are truly friends with, then you are VERY lucky indeed.

[Lorraine]

I think someone is lucky enough just to find one, let alone four or five. Four or five is a goldmine. Edited July 9, 2014 by Lorraine

[Narps]

I think someone is lucky enough just to find one, let alone four or five. Four or five is a goldmine.

Agreed. I don't have even one. All my "friends" turned out to be co-workers. Now I am left with nothing....

[Lorraine]

I think someone is lucky enough just to find one, let alone four or five. Four or five is a goldmine.

Agreed. I don't have even one. All my "friends" turned out to be co-workers. Now I am left with nothing....

 

Mine died thirty-four years ago. Never found another.

[OGr8imL84AD8inF8sBlackSedan]

A friend of mine has been having a lot of personal struggles lately. So I bought him some art supplies worth about $150.00. I went to his studio to drop them off, but he wasn’t there at the time. I ran into 2 of his acquaintances. I didn’t know them. They put me through the third degree and gave me a really hard time just for being there. I ended up dropping the supplies on a stool with a note attached. I never heard back if he liked or hated them. No words of appreciation or gratitude. That reminded me of a friend from high school who didn’t send me a thank you card after I bought her a wedding present. Why do I bother doing nice things for people? Has anyone else had similar experiences?

 

Have you ever had employees?