ILSnwdog Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 What happens if you get scared half to death twice?You should still have 1/4 left. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 What happens if you get scared half to death twice?You should still have 1/4 left. http://i1239.photobucket.com/albums/ff508/blackcc/GIFs/3lFHq_zps742308eb.gif 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KennyLee Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KennyLee Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 What happens if you get scared half to death twice?You should still have 1/4 left. http://i1239.photobucket.com/albums/ff508/blackcc/GIFs/3lFHq_zps742308eb.gif :LMAO: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost In Xanadu Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. Is this going to turn into a Steven Wright thread? :D 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost In Xanadu Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. I intend to live forever. So far, so good. I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' What's another word for Thesaurus? Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!' Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 http://i1239.photobucket.com/albums/ff508/blackcc/EpinT.jpg 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost In Xanadu Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/13129771.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushman14 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Man with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingerHe who fart in church, sit in own pew. This is your 35,001 post. :)Wow. You know...you reach a point and you stop paying attention. Wow I remember a time when we were neck and neck in post count. That was during the "That's It" era. Ah the good 'ol days :) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. I intend to live forever. So far, so good. I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' What's another word for Thesaurus? Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!' Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. :clap: :clap: :clap: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost In Xanadu Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3426925/dwight-schrute-laughing-o.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umoveme Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I wear an extra medium. I lost a button hole. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I'm addicted to break fluid...but I can stop anytime. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Sawyer Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Why is it okay for a man to expose his straightend elbows but not his warm scrotum when they actually have the same look and feel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KennyLee Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 How did God create the universe in 6 days with every detail down to our central nervous system giving Adam reproductive organs and forget to create woman? seems like a pretty big oversight. And if we're created in his image... why does he have them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KennyLee Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I just saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILSnwdog Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 I don't trust women. Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILSnwdog Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 Why is it okay for a man to expose his straightend elbows but not his warm scrotum when they actually have the same look and feel?If your scrotum feels just like your elbow, I strongly urge you to see your physician. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Man Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 A friend asked me if I wanted to see a picture of them when they were younger. I told him every picture of you is from when you were younger. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya_Big_Tree Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) I don't trust women. Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. You should trust that… it means you won't have a parasite growing for 9 months. ;) Edited June 20, 2014 by Ya_Big_Tree 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost In Xanadu Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body only 2" taller. If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit. I had a friend who was a clown... when he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. I spilled Spot Remover on my dog... Now he's gone. I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age. I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information. She said they were behind the couch. She was right. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. Sponges grow in the ocean... that kills me. I wonder how much deeper they'd be if that didn't happen. I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue J Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Confucius say, "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KennyLee Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 When a mosquito lands on your testicle you suddenly figure out that there is a way to solve problems without violence. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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