1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..." Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. Don't beg Jack Bauer to shoot you. He will simply shoot your wife. No man tells Jack Bauer what to do. Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes. When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30. The Black Eyed Peas were just The Peas until Jack Bauer heard their music. Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes. On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f**king do it. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day." Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f**king dead." Jack would never have given up the wet list... no one takes potential kills away from Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball. Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent. Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first. If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink. All men are created equal. They are all vastly inferior to Jack Bauer. Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him. Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg. Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Jan 11 2007, 06:18 PM) Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..." Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. Don't beg Jack Bauer to shoot you. He will simply shoot your wife. No man tells Jack Bauer what to do. Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes. When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30. The Black Eyed Peas were just The Peas until Jack Bauer heard their music. Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes. On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f**king do it. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day." Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f**king dead." Jack would never have given up the wet list... no one takes potential kills away from Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball. Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent. Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first. If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink. All men are created equal. They are all vastly inferior to Jack Bauer. Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him. Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg. Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treeduck Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I've never watched this series... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostGirl Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 QUOTE (treeduck @ Jan 12 2007, 02:59 PM) I've never watched this series... No...you'd be much too busy eating Snickers bars and taunting Snicker-deprived women to watch '24.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treeduck Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Jan 12 2007, 04:16 PM) QUOTE (treeduck @ Jan 12 2007, 02:59 PM) I've never watched this series... No...you'd be much too busy eating Snickers bars and taunting Snicker-deprived women to watch '24.' Aye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vital signz Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Just saw the two hour season premiere and all I can say is wow....unbelievable. I didn't know Jack had become a vampire while in China! It was very good and I can not wait until tomorrow night!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 QUOTE (vital signz @ Jan 15 2007, 12:48 AM) Just saw the two hour season premiere and all I can say is wow....unbelievable. I didn't know Jack had become a vampire while in China! It was very good and I can not wait until tomorrow night!!! I taped it and just watched it now. The production value of this show is off the charts. Awesome premiere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midway Hawker Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 All I can say is WOW, and now in reverse ... WOW.. I can't wait until tomorrow night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i havent watched it yet!!! man! i can't wait!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobodys hero Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Well worth the wait. Jack Bauer again saves the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 Well, that was something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
launchpad67a Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Jan 15 2007, 08:04 PM) Well, that was something. You can say that again. That was the heaviest 4 hours of TV I've seen in a long, long time. Congrats to the writers of this show. Once again they have a winner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 QUOTE (launchpad67a @ Jan 16 2007, 12:24 AM) QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Jan 15 2007, 08:04 PM) Well, that was something. You can say that again. That was the heaviest 4 hours of TV I've seen in a long, long time. Congrats to the writers of this show. Once again they have a winner! i've only watched the first 2 hour of this 4 hour opener... all i can say is... WOW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
queenshall Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 My son has copied the first few episodes but has not dropped them off yet...I'm getting the shakes !!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Jack Bauer once lost his car keys. He tortured himself for twenty minutes until he divulged their location. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JDL2112 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ Jan 16 2007, 06:00 AM) Jack Bauer once lost his car keys. He tortured himself for twenty minutes until he divulged their location. He had to point a gun at his head...and jab a knife into his knee first...but he did finally give it up to himself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 This is going to be the Best Season yet !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midway Hawker Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 "Mr. President, a nuclear bomb has gone off.. BRAVADO would not be any better than fear at this point.." Gawd I love this show... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bardan Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Another great episode tonight! Graham is Jack's brother, how crazy is that?! I'm also wondering if the kid, Josh, is actually Jack's son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostGirl Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 Thanks to 1001 I'm all caught up! I'm ready for tonight's ep...in.... 5 minutes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ES-335 Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 'bout time Jack killed someone ... I was beginning to feel he was getting soft Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ES-335 Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 wow ... I am numb ... comfortably, of course 2 hrs next weeK!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostGirl Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 QUOTE (ES-335 @ Feb 5 2007, 09:01 PM) wow ... I am numb ... comfortably, of course 2 hrs next weeK!!! Me too, Lee! Nice with the Floyd ref! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanWinchester Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 QUOTE (bardan @ Jan 23 2007, 01:17 AM) Another great episode tonight! Graham is Jack's brother, how crazy is that?! I'm also wondering if the kid, Josh, is actually Jack's son. I was wondering that, what with all the meaningful glances and the fact that graeme's wife was pissed at Jack Bauer. (maybe he tortured her, until she had sex with him) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how COULD you?????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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