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#1 DonnaWanna

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    ANY Hockey!..LOVE to see the RANGERS lose! Im a Devils fan! 420,MY Digi Cam,Movies,Concerts, Hangin with friends, Meetin New Friends, Backgamon,Dominos....other stuff just ask if u REALLY need to know more ;) NOSEY!

Posted 05 June 2005 - 07:23 PM

Ok dont want everyone to think this is for man bashing ohmy.gif
just a few lil chuckles we can add here an there about them  wink.gif  





CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS - REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY  July 1.  
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1:   How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
                Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2:   The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
                Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 to 2:00 PM.  

Class 3:    Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding
                the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice.
                Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
                (Note: this class meets at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street)

Class 4:   Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
                Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
                Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5:   After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
                Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2
                hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 6:   Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
               Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.

Class 7:   Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of
               turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8:   Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
               Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 9:   Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials.
               Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 10:   Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel  parks?
                 Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11:   Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
                 Online Classes and role-playing.

Class 12:   How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
                 Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
                 Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13:   How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
                 Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
                 Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
                 Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 14:   The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
                    Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.  

Sponsored Post

#2 happysmiles007

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Posted 05 June 2005 - 08:27 PM

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LOL  icon_really_happy_guy.gif  

#3 rushengal

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Posted 05 June 2005 - 08:31 PM

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I'll have to see if any of these courses are offered at the local community college here.

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#4 DonnaWanna

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    ANY Hockey!..LOVE to see the RANGERS lose! Im a Devils fan! 420,MY Digi Cam,Movies,Concerts, Hangin with friends, Meetin New Friends, Backgamon,Dominos....other stuff just ask if u REALLY need to know more ;) NOSEY!

Posted 06 June 2005 - 07:05 AM

This is a story from a clay shooter named
> Kirk. Men and there "toys"  laugh.gif
>
>       Dear Friends,
>
>       My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last
> words on this earth will be something akin to, " Hey
> y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"
>
>       Well, I have outdone myself once again. No
> doubt, you will see this true story chronicled in a
> Lifetime movie in the near future.
>
>       Here goes:
>
>       Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol
> and Pawn that tickled my fancy.  (Note: Keep in mind
> that my "fancy" is easily tickled).
>
>       I bought something really cool for Toni.
>
>       The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I
> was looking for a little something extra for my
> sweet girl.
>
>       What I came across was a 100,000-volt,
> pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip.  For those
> of you who are not familiar with this product, it is
> a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs
> designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock
> of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you
> flee to safety.
>
>       The effects are supposed to be short lived,
> with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant,
> but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety.
>  You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb.
> Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will
> render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed,
> muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek.
>
>       If you've never seen one of these things in
> action, then you're truly missing out-way too cool!
>
>
>       Long story short, I bought the device and
> brought it home.  I loaded two triple-a batteries in
> the darn thing and pushed the button.
>
>       Nothing!  I was so disappointed.  Upon reading
> the directions (we don't need no stinkin'
> directions),  I found much to my chagrin that this
> particular model would not create an arch between
> the prongs.  How disappointing!  I do love fire for
> effect.  I learned that if I pushed the button,
> however, and pressed it against a metal surface that
> I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back
> and forth between the prongs that I was so looking
> forward to.  I did so.  Awesome!!!  Sparks, a blue
> arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!!
>
>       Yipeeeeee.  I'm easily amused, just for your
> information, but I have yet to explain to Toni what
> that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
>
>       Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy,
> thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad
> with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc.
>
>       There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie
> looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading
> the directions (that would be me, not Gracie) and
> thinking that I really needed to try this thing out
> on a flesh and blood target.  I must admit I thought
> about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and
> thought better of it.  She is such a sweet kitty,
> after all.
>
>       But, if I was going to give this thing to Toni
> to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some
> assurance that it would work as advertised.
>
>       Am I wrong?  Was I wrong to think that?
> Seemed reasonable to me at the time.
>
>       So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank
> top with my reading glasses perched delicately on
> the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer
> in another.  The directions said that a one-second
> burst would shock and disorient your assailant.  A
> two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms
> and a loss of bodily control.  A three-second burst
> would purportedly make your assailant flop on the
> ground like a fish out of water.  All the while I'm
> looking at this little device (measuring about 5"
> long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty
> cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy
> triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin'
> way!"   Friggin' way-trust me, but I'm getting
> ahead of myself.
>
>       What happened next is almost beyond
> description, but I'll do my best.  Those of you who
> know me well have got a pretty good idea of what
> followed.  I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking
> on with her head cocked to one side as to say,
> "don't do it buddy", reasoning that a one-second
> burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt
> all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the
> circumstances, wouldn't you agree?).  I decided to
> give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of
> it.
>
>       (Note: You know, a bad decision is like
> hindsight-always twenty-twenty.  It is so obvious
> that it was a bad decision after the fact, even
> though it seemed so right at the time.  Don't ya
> hate that?)
>
>       I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed
> the button, and HOLY S***********!  DAaaaauuuMN!!!
>
>       I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in
> through the front door, picked me up out of that
> recliner, and then body slammed me on the carpet
> over and over again.  I vaguely recall waking up on
> my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire,
> testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my
> left arm tucked under my body in the oddest
> position.  Gracie was standing over me making
> meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my
> face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again,
> do it again!"
>
>       (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug
> yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is
> no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap
> yourself.  You're not going to let go of that thing
> until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent
> thrashing about on the floor.  Then, if you're
> lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4"
> deep in your thigh like yours truly.)
>
>       SON-OF-A-***** that hurt!
>
>       A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time
> was a relative thing at this point), I collected my
> wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed
> the landscape.  My reading glasses were on the
> mantel of the fireplace.  How did they get there???
>
>       My triceps, right thigh and both titties were
> still twitching.  My face felt like it had been shot
> up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
> give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure.
>
>       By the way, has anyone seen my testicles?  I
> think they ran away.  I'm offering a reward.
>
>       Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em
> back.  icon_really_happy_guy.gif  

#5 rushgoober

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:32 PM

speaking as a man (hey, how did i get IN this forum???), this is HILARIOUS.  i could use some (not all) of these classes myself.

i consider myself a pretty liberated non-sexist man, but one thing i can't seem to let go of is the remote control - why won't my wife understand that it's MINE and it belongs to ME???

peace & love,
gary (aka rushgoober)

#6 NeilPeartFan2112

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Posted 07 June 2005 - 08:14 AM

QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 6 2005, 03:32 PM)
speaking as a man (hey, how did i get IN this forum???), this is HILARIOUS.  i could use some (not all) of these classes myself.

i consider myself a pretty liberated non-sexist man, but one thing i can't seem to let go of is the remote control - why won't my wife understand that it's MINE and it belongs to ME???

peace & love,
gary (aka rushgoober)

The remote control is ours!!! firedevil.gif

#7 Daylin

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Posted 07 June 2005 - 02:53 PM

  goodpost.gif  goodpost.gif
icon_really_happy_guy.gif  icon_really_happy_guy.gif

These are both great.   rofl3.gif  

#8 Slacker

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Posted 08 June 2005 - 05:23 AM

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#9 Asian Rush Fan

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Posted 08 June 2005 - 01:49 PM

QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Jun 5 2005, 07:23 PM)
Ok dont want everyone to think this is for man bashing ohmy.gif
just a few lil chuckles we can add here an there about them  wink.gif 





CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS - REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY  July 1. 
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1:   How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
                Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2:   The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
                Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 to 2:00 PM. 

Class 3:    Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding
                the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice.
                Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
                (Note: this class meets at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street)

Class 4:   Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
                Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
                Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5:   After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
                Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2
                hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 6:   Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
               Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.

Class 7:   Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of
               turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8:   Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
               Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 9:   Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials.
               Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 10:   Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel  parks?
                 Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11:   Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
                 Online Classes and role-playing.

Class 12:   How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
                 Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
                 Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13:   How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
                 Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
                 Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
                 Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 14:   The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
                    Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

I think I failed ALL them classes

As for: Men!, Can we live with them or without them? Without men, there would be no Geddy (Gary) Lee (Weinrib) GeddyFinal.gif  Alex (Zivojinovich) Lifeson AlexFinal.gif or Neil Peart NeilFinal.gif wink.gif So yes, you need men or you’ll be twiddling your thumbs. Imagine that? No Rush concerts.

#10 Tom Sawyer

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Posted 08 June 2005 - 02:40 PM

QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Jun 8 2005, 11:49 AM)
Imagine that? No Rush concerts.

ohmy.gif No... NO! I can't imagine that!! Even John Lennon didn't ask us to do THAT!

#11 Asian Rush Fan

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Posted 08 June 2005 - 03:12 PM

Exactly! And I failed most if not all of the questions above confused13.gif  

#12 Rolinda Bonz

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Posted 08 June 2005 - 03:13 PM

Barbecuing

Barbecuing is the only type of cooking a real man will do.  When a man declares he will BBQ the following chain of events is put into motion:

1) The woman goes to the store and buys everything.

2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.

4) The man places the meat on the grill.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.

7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off. And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing a woman.

#13 Daylin

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Posted 08 June 2005 - 03:22 PM

QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Jun 8 2005, 03:13 PM)
Barbecuing

Barbecuing is the only type of cooking a real man will do.  When a man declares he will BBQ the following chain of events is put into motion:

1) The woman goes to the store and buys everything.

2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.

4) The man places the meat on the grill.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.

7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off. And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing a woman.

  goodpost.gif  applaudit.gif
Yes, that's about it! rofl3.gif  

#14 sullysue

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Posted 08 June 2005 - 03:45 PM

QUOTE (pinkfloyd1973 @ Jun 8 2005, 02:40 PM)
QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Jun 8 2005, 11:49 AM)
Imagine that? No Rush concerts.

ohmy.gif No... NO! I can't imagine that!! Even John Lennon didn't ask us to do THAT!

...and no Pink!  sad.gif


wink.gif  

#15 sundog

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Posted 10 June 2005 - 08:59 AM

user posted image

#16 Alsgalpal

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Posted 10 June 2005 - 10:44 AM

QUOTE (sundog @ Jun 10 2005, 08:59 AM)
user posted image

  rofl3.gif  goodpost.gif  

#17 Digital Man

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Posted 10 June 2005 - 10:50 AM

Wow, all these posts about how men can't do anything...at least we know enough to look before we sit when we need the toilet seat down. rofl3.gif rofl3.gif   unsure.gif  ph34r.gif  rofl3.gif  rofl3.gif  

#18 Alsgalpal

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Posted 10 June 2005 - 10:57 AM

QUOTE (Digital Man @ Jun 10 2005, 10:50 AM)
Wow, all these posts about how men can't do anything...at least we know enough to look before we sit when we need the toilet seat down. rofl3.gif rofl3.gif   unsure.gif  ph34r.gif  rofl3.gif  rofl3.gif

True that, but hey, you are supposed to remember to PUT the seat down...   tongue.gif  laugh.gif

#19 sullysue

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Posted 10 June 2005 - 11:12 AM

QUOTE (Digital Man @ Jun 10 2005, 10:50 AM)
Wow, all these posts about how men can't do anything...at least we know enough to look before we sit when we need the toilet seat down. rofl3.gif rofl3.gif   unsure.gif  ph34r.gif  rofl3.gif  rofl3.gif

Well, DM, you realize you are exempt from these generalizations due to your generous contributions to the Alex, Geddy and Neil threads?

trink39.gif

Actually, most of the guys on TRF are true gentlemen, and we aren't referring to any of you!  wub.gif  

#20 Alsgalpal

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Posted 10 June 2005 - 11:14 AM

QUOTE (sullysue @ Jun 10 2005, 11:12 AM)
QUOTE (Digital Man @ Jun 10 2005, 10:50 AM)
Wow, all these posts about how men can't do anything...at least we know enough to look before we sit when we need the toilet seat down. rofl3.gif rofl3.gif   unsure.gif  ph34r.gif  rofl3.gif  rofl3.gif

Well, DM, you realize you are exempt from these generalizations due to your generous contributions to the Alex, Geddy and Neil threads?

trink39.gif

Actually, most of the guys on TRF are true gentlemen, and we aren't referring to any of you!  wub.gif

  wink.gif  cool.gif  




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