Married With Friends Of Opposite Sex

[Can-Utility]

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 03:32 PM)

The question is why does this happen?

Ask Katie and Derek

[shail]

it's a tad over the top to have the woman go for a ride on the man's motorcycle. i would never ask the woman to begin with. that's just being a dick. sounds like the two have a little chemistry going.

 

all my friends are married with kids. we all hang out with each other. kids and all. sometimes not with the kids cause they are annoying little shits. a few of the wives are very attractive. they look very good for having a few kids. yup milfs. yet i have no sexual feelings for them cause i'm best friends with the husbands. it would gross me out if i ever did have any sexual relations with them. also don't want to be where my buddies have been. yuck. i'm happy with the woman i'm married to. i live the simple life.

 

 

[Tick]

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:34 PM)

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 03:32 PM) The question is why does this happen? Ask Katie and Derek That's was not right.

[Can-Utility]

QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 03:44 PM)

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:34 PM) QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 03:32 PM) The question is why does this happen? Ask Katie and Derek That's was not right. How do you figure, it's relevant to the question.

[PhilCastro]

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:34 PM)

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 03:32 PM) The question is why does this happen? Ask Katie and Derek That wouldn't do anything.     They have their reasons to be together and that's all that matters.     But it's another case in showing how this happens all the time. Believe it or not, humans have natural urges.

[Blenderhead]

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 06:45 PM)

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:34 PM) QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 03:32 PM) The question is why does this happen? Ask Katie and Derek That wouldn't do anything.     They have their reasons to be together and that's all that matters.     But it's another case in showing how this happens all the time. Believe it or not, humans have natural urges. I think you are going about it far more rationally. I think most of this threads flak came from tick making claims like "it happens 99/100 times!" or "it's irrefutable!", which are obviously BS.

Edited October 19, 2011 by Blenderhead

[Fred Star]

[Steel Rat]

"Do you think its a good idea for a married man or woman to be close friends with members of the opposite sex?"

 

Yes. If you say "No," you have trust/control issues, because you're accusing someone of being guilty until proven innocent. It doesn't matter if it does end up in an affair 99% of the time; if you can't trust your spouse to have a good friend of the opposite sex, then you shouldn't be together.

 

[treeduck]

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 05:32 PM)

I know it shouldn't happen. I believe it's wrong and disgusting to cheat on your wife/husband, but it happens and there is no denying that. The question is why does this happen?

It happens because some people want to have their cake and eat it too.

 

In this case it's a flesh cake.

 

[PhilCastro]

QUOTE (treeduck @ Oct 19 2011, 07:31 PM)

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 05:32 PM) I know it shouldn't happen. I believe it's wrong and disgusting to cheat on your wife/husband, but it happens and there is no denying that. The question is why does this happen? It happens because some people want to have their cake and eat it too.   In this case it's a flesh cake.   Everybody loves cake!

[Tick]

QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 07:27 PM)

"Do you think its a good idea for a married man or woman to be close friends with members of the opposite sex?" Yes. If you say "No," you have trust/control issues, because you're accusing someone of being guilty until proven innocent. It doesn't matter if it does end up in an affair 99% of the time; if you can't trust your spouse to have a good friend of the opposite sex, then you shouldn't be together.

I don't agree. Obviously.

[1 of the 7]

If the friends conduct themselves in a manner the couple has agreed is appropriate, then it's fine. If not, then it's over the line. Personally, I'd be uncomfortable with my boyfriend going on multi-day trips with other people who could be attracted to him, but I'm lucky in that he's never done that and I don't think he would. Neither would I. He's very up-front about telling me when he's tried to contact old women friends on business trips, etc., and I've never seen a pattern that would suggest he's spending any measurable time with anyone. Likewise, I have a bunch of male customers (no not that kind!) who I talk to about Rush a lot, and a few I'm even friends with on Facebook, but I generally tell my boyfriend about each and every conversation we have, and if any of them made either one of us uncomfortable, I'd put a stop to it. He does make comments on the physical appearance of women he sees when we're out, but so have I, and I'm always talking about Geddy's tight jeans and how flattering they are, etc., etc. I suppose we trust/know that none of it is going beyond ogling, and in four and a half years, if it was, it would be obvious.

 

Maybe I'm being totally naive and he's hiding a ton of stuff from me, but I figure I'm astute enough to tell. I trust my instincts and him and so far, so good...

[HowItIs]

It's never been a problem for my husband and I

[Janie]

Edited October 20, 2011 by Janie

[Lost In Xanadu]

I pretty much agree with everything said so far... especially by WCM and Janie.

 

 

I have a coworker that is also a close neighbor - only lives a few block from me. I coach football with her husband, and I still call my wife if we go to lunch together. Just out of respect. If it's a group of us going and one of them is a female - no big deal... but anytime it's a 1-on-1 thing, I always let my wife know. She always says "I don't care" but the one time I don't call is the the time it'll be an issue... because we both put a high value on trust.

[metaldad]

QUOTE (Gompers @ Oct 19 2011, 10:38 AM)

QUOTE (metaldad @ Oct 19 2011, 11:28 AM) QUOTE (Gompers @ Oct 19 2011, 09:33 AM) I am divorced because of my ex's relationship with someone who was "just a really good friend". I won't elaborate. It is just trouble brewing. Shit like This is absolutely heartbreaking. It all depends on the situation I guess. There is nothing worse than betrayed trust. I am glad you got back on your feet and i assume , became a stronger person because of it.

[CMWriter]

I've never seen it be an issue with either of my parents - at least as far as I'm concerned. One of my mom's best friends is a guy, and they've known each other since they were like.. in elementary school. I more or less grew up with his and his wife's kids. My dad's really good friends with my aunt (who's really just my mom's best friend like... EVER) and, again, never noticed any issues.

 

Besides, pretty much all of my parents' friends are happily married, many for 20+ years like my folks. I don't see why it has to be an issue.

[Gompers]

QUOTE (metaldad @ Oct 20 2011, 12:09 PM)

QUOTE (Gompers @ Oct 19 2011, 10:38 AM) QUOTE (metaldad @ Oct 19 2011, 11:28 AM) QUOTE (Gompers @ Oct 19 2011, 09:33 AM) I am divorced because of my ex's relationship with someone who was "just a really good friend". I won't elaborate. It is just trouble brewing. Shit like This is absolutely heartbreaking. It all depends on the situation I guess. There is nothing worse than betrayed trust. I am glad you got back on your feet and i assume , became a stronger person because of it. I did. Thanks. I am not as naive as I once was though.

[fledgehog]

QUOTE (CMWriter @ Oct 20 2011, 12:23 PM)

I've never seen it be an issue with either of my parents - at least as far as I'm concerned. One of my mom's best friends is a guy, and they've known each other since they were like.. in elementary school. I more or less grew up with his and his wife's kids. My dad's really good friends with my aunt (who's really just my mom's best friend like... EVER) and, again, never noticed any issues. Besides, pretty much all of my parents' friends are happily married, many for 20+ years like my folks. I don't see why it has to be an issue.

they'll understand when they are older.

[thesweetscience]

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:09 PM)

And yet again, tick refers to the younger = invalid opinion argument

Well in all honesty is someone who is 20 going to have anywhere close to the insights of someone who is 40 on just about any subject? Probably not.

 

Someone who is young is entitled to an opinion but its skewed by their lack of life experience. Like it or not that's just the way it is. I am pushing 40 and looking back I recognize that I didn't know shit back when I was 21. I was a total walking moron and so was just about everyone that i associated with at the time.

 

 

[Mr. Not]

I think we're all treating this too much as if it were one set simple scenario.

 

We're all attuned to different relationships, different levels of fidelity, jealousy, and love.

[Tick]

QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Oct 20 2011, 02:02 PM)

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:09 PM) And yet again, tick refers to the younger = invalid opinion argument Well in all honesty is someone who is 20 going to have anywhere close to the insights of someone who is 40 on just about any subject? Probably not.   Someone who is young is entitled to an opinion but its skewed by their lack of life experience. Like it or not that's just the way it is. I am pushing 40 and looking back I recognize that I didn't know shit back when I was 21. I was a total walking moron and so was just about everyone that i associated with at the time. Truer words have not been spoken oh wise one!

[ILSnwdog]

QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Oct 20 2011, 01:02 PM)

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:09 PM) And yet again, tick refers to the younger = invalid opinion argument Well in all honesty is someone who is 20 going to have anywhere close to the insights of someone who is 40 on just about any subject? Probably not.   Someone who is young is entitled to an opinion but its skewed by their lack of life experience. Like it or not that's just the way it is. I am pushing 40 and looking back I recognize that I didn't know shit back when I was 21. I was a total walking moron and so was just about everyone that i associated with at the time. That's the facts jack! I've found that the vast majority of those who are in their early 20's or younger really don't know how the real world works. Plus, many (not all) think that they know everything, when in fact none of us do...even someone in their 80s doesn't know shit in the grand scheme of things. And many younger people are very ideological, and that really skews thinking.   That's just my observation. Take it for what it's worth.

[Tick]

QUOTE (ILSnwdog @ Oct 20 2011, 02:27 PM)

QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Oct 20 2011, 01:02 PM) QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:09 PM) And yet again, tick refers to the younger = invalid opinion argument Well in all honesty is someone who is 20 going to have anywhere close to the insights of someone who is 40 on just about any subject? Probably not.   Someone who is young is entitled to an opinion but its skewed by their lack of life experience. Like it or not that's just the way it is. I am pushing 40 and looking back I recognize that I didn't know shit back when I was 21. I was a total walking moron and so was just about everyone that i associated with at the time. That's the facts jack! I've found that the vast majority of those who are in their early 20's or younger really don't know how the real world works. Plus, many (not all) think that they know everything, when in fact none of us do...even someone in their 80s doesn't know shit in the grand scheme of things. And many younger people are very ideological, and that really skews thinking.   That's just my observation. Take it for what it's worth. I take it as gospel!

[Mr. Not]

QUOTE (ILSnwdog @ Oct 20 2011, 11:27 AM)

QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Oct 20 2011, 01:02 PM) QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:09 PM) And yet again, tick refers to the younger = invalid opinion argument Well in all honesty is someone who is 20 going to have anywhere close to the insights of someone who is 40 on just about any subject? Probably not.   Someone who is young is entitled to an opinion but its skewed by their lack of life experience. Like it or not that's just the way it is. I am pushing 40 and looking back I recognize that I didn't know shit back when I was 21. I was a total walking moron and so was just about everyone that i associated with at the time. That's the facts jack! I've found that the vast majority of those who are in their early 20's or younger really don't know how the real world works. Plus, many (not all) think that they know everything, when in fact none of us do...even someone in their 80s doesn't know shit in the grand scheme of things. And many younger people are very ideological, and that really skews thinking.   That's just my observation. Take it for what it's worth. very true