Dear Blank

[*Limelight*]

Dear (unnamed person)

 

Get off your high lil pedestal thinking you're above everyone else, when you're no better then them and are far too obsessed with how you look. This is life, it's not a beauty contest, be as nice looking as you want, but with that personality good luck being happy.

 

Go f**k yourself.

 

Signed Limey.

Edited October 28, 2010 by *Limelight*

[Queen of Megadon]

Dear Hospital Staff,

 

The food provided at lunchtime is for the Medical Residents, since they must sit through lecture during lunch, and paid for by the Department of Medicine. It is not a FREE LUNCH for everyone. That said...

 

STUDENTS: You are welcome to join us if you sit for the lecture. You have less work to do than Residents, which puts you at the front of the line every day. Do not take advantage of your low place on the totem pole by trying to muscle in first. This lunch is a courtesy, not a right.

 

RESIDENTS: It's not the last meal you'll ever eat, stop piling on 6 servings when you can PLAINLY see another 60 residents behind you. A little consideration if you please.

 

FELLOWS: I know, you are fledglings from our Residency program, but you're OUT now. I can forgive you now and then, but when you get nasty, as if you were entitled, my sympathy wanes. I "protected" the food from people like you when you were a resident. Try to remember that.

 

ATTENDINGS: Are you serious? You're an ATTENDING PHYSICIAN, with a salary to match. Stop taking proverbial "candy from the babies" wouldya? It's embarrassing.

 

REMAINING STAFF: Yes, you all know there is lunch in the Main Conference room, every day. And sometimes, though rare, there is some left. That DOES NOT mean come with leftover tins from home and pile it on. And then complain if there isnt any left! That DOES NOT mean if there is a few half empty trays you should dump all the rest of the other half empty trays into it and take the whole thing HOME. Come, take a plate. By all means. But save some for the rest of your fellow scavengers.

 

Edited to sign*

"The Food Nazi"

Edited October 28, 2010 by Queen of Megadon

[Mara]

QUOTE (Queen of Megadon @ Oct 28 2010, 12:35 PM)

Dear Hospital Staff, The food provided at lunchtime is for the Medical Residents, since they must sit through lecture during lunch, and paid for by the Department of Medicine. It is not a FREE LUNCH for everyone. That said... STUDENTS: You are welcome to join us if you sit for the lecture. You have less work to do than Residents, which puts you at the front of the line every day. Do not take advantage of your low place on the totem pole by trying to muscle in first. This lunch is a courtesy, not a right. RESIDENTS: It's not the last meal you'll ever eat, stop piling on 6 servings when you can PLAINLY see another 60 residents behind you. A little consideration if you please. FELLOWS: I know, you are fledglings from our Residency program, but you're OUT now. I can forgive you now and then, but when you get nasty, as if you were entitled, my sympathy wanes. I "protected" the food from people like you when you were a resident. Try to remember that. ATTENDINGS: Are you serious? You're an ATTENDING PHYSICIAN, with a salary to match. Stop taking proverbial "candy from the babies" wouldya? It's embarrassing. REMAINING STAFF: Yes, you all know there is lunch in the Main Conference room, every day. And sometimes, though rare, there is some left. That DOES NOT mean come with leftover tins from home and pile it on. And then complain if there isnt any left! That DOES NOT mean if there is a few half empty trays you should dump all the rest of the other half empty trays into it and take the whole thing HOME. Come, take a plate. By all means. But save some for the rest of your fellow scavengers. Edited to sign* "The Food Nazi"

What is it about free food that turns people into primitive beasts?

[missionman]

Dear law firm,

I'm glad you sent me a check for 8 thousand some odd dollars for something my dad messed with a LONG time ago but, well, THANKS!!!!

 

Gotta LOVE that!

[Boots]

Dear bitch who has the same name as me:

 

Leave Christopher alone. He's mine. You're 15 years older than him and you're divorced. You had your chance already and you blew it. He deserves better than that. I don't think I need to remind you that you're also a grandmother. Just sayin'

[Mara]

Dear Dell,

 

I know when I call your 800 line that I'm talking to a Bangladeshi. That you make him tell me his name is Jeff isn't fooling me.

[thing2jordan]

Dear guys from school,

 

I'm perfectly aware I fell off the ugly tree and hit a few branches on the way down. You don't have to remind me on every other picture I put on Facebook.

 

Signed,

 

Your future employer

Edited October 31, 2010 by thing2jordan

[nettiesaur]

Dear Boss,

Thanks for making my Sunday a real joy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

changed to protect the innocent.

Edited October 31, 2010 by nettiesaur

[missionman]

Dear all the people I cut off and ran off the road,

 

I was taking my little boy to the ER and had to get there FAST!!! The next time I drive like that, get the f**k OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!

 

*To the Lake St. Louis Police*

FU(K YOU GUYS!!!!!! KISS MY ASS!!!!!!!!

 

That light was only PINK!!!!!!!

[HowItIs]

Dear body,

 

It is 5:00 AM. Why won't you let me sleep?

 

Yours,

Insomniac

 

 

[Queen of Megadon]

QUOTE (Mara @ Oct 28 2010, 01:39 PM)

QUOTE (Queen of Megadon @ Oct 28 2010, 12:35 PM) Dear Hospital Staff, The food provided at lunchtime is for the Medical Residents, since they must sit through lecture during lunch, and paid for by the Department of Medicine.  It is not a FREE LUNCH for everyone.  That said... STUDENTS: You are welcome to join us if you sit for the lecture.  You have less work to do than Residents, which puts you at the front of the line every day. Do not take advantage of your low place on the totem pole by trying to muscle in first.  This lunch is a courtesy, not a right. RESIDENTS:  It's not the last meal you'll ever eat, stop piling on 6 servings when you can PLAINLY see another 60 residents behind you.  A little consideration if you please. FELLOWS:  I know, you are fledglings from our Residency program, but you're OUT now.  I can forgive you now and then, but when you get nasty, as if you were entitled, my sympathy wanes.  I "protected" the food from people like you when you were a resident.  Try to remember that. ATTENDINGS:  Are you serious?  You're an ATTENDING PHYSICIAN, with a salary to match.  Stop taking proverbial "candy from the babies" wouldya?  It's embarrassing. REMAINING STAFF:  Yes, you all know there is lunch in the Main Conference room, every day.  And sometimes, though rare, there is some left.  That DOES NOT mean come with leftover tins from home and pile it on. And then complain if there isnt any left! That DOES NOT mean if there is a few half empty trays you should dump all the rest of the other half empty trays into it and take the whole thing HOME.  Come, take a plate.  By all means.  But save some for the rest of your fellow scavengers. Edited to sign* "The Food Nazi" What is it about free food that turns people into primitive beasts? Dear RN who was standing in front of the clearly empty tray that once held egg rolls bemoaning the fact that there were no more and wondering to where on earth said egg rolls could have possibly disappeared ...     1) See Above   2) Addendum-Where do you THINK they went you jackwagon?   Have a nice day... Me

[Queen of Megadon]

QUOTE (thing2jordan @ Oct 31 2010, 03:12 PM)

Dear guys from school, I'm perfectly aware I fell off the ugly tree and hit a few branches on the way down. You don't have to remind me on every other picture I put on Facebook. Signed, Your future employer

First, you are perfectly lovely. Please recognize that.

 

Second, if these boys are the same age as you, puberty has either taken its own "ugly stick" to them, or will soon. No worries.

 

Third, you may friend me on FB if you wish, and I will bash them with a heavier stick anytime they have something to say!

 

Finally...boyz iz stoopid. Dont let them get to you.

[nettiesaur]

QUOTE (missionman @ Nov 1 2010, 12:11 AM)

Dear all the people I cut off and ran off the road, I was taking my little boy to the ER and had to get there FAST!!! The next time I drive like that, get the f**k OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!!!!! *To the Lake St. Louis Police* FU(K YOU GUYS!!!!!! KISS MY ASS!!!!!!!! That light was only PINK!!!!!!!

Is he o.k????

[Boots]

Dear uneducated idiot:

 

You're jealous of me becuase I'm smarter than you.

All you have is a high school diploma.

I hate you because you're an a**hole.

What comes around goes around, and karma is a b*tch.

 

Signed,

Your intellectual superior

[TullSkull]

Dear Stepson...

 

 

Do use caution as that rope around your neck is getting kind of tight, hope you don't climb onto the horse too, cause then, you'll just about hung yourself...

Oh the poor little ones... and you don't seem to give a sh*t..

 

 

 

 

Signed,

Not Giving NO More...

[neil#2]

Dear Dumbass,

 

You graduated from High School and have yet to distinguish the difference between there, their and they're. Also, even though I'm over her now, I still hate you.

 

Sincerely,

Glad you're out of this god-forsaken school

[Boots]

Dear a**hole:

 

It's pretty clear your meds haven't been working or you forgot to take them. You're the biggest jerk on the planet. Go stick your head in a toilet & flush.

 

Someday you'll get yours.

Karma is a bitch.

[garbo]

Dear Youngish Boy Roommate,

 

I know you don't have to have a job and it's awesome that your parents pay for everything so you haven't had to do anything but sleep and be merry. But you can do your dishes. It's not that hard. See? Take dish towel, put under water, add dish soap, scrub, rinse. Not hard.

 

Sincerely,

 

Your older cranky female roommate

[nettiesaur]

Dear Client,

After confirming your appointment, then rescheduling it twice, and reconfirming it, you didn't show up. After 25 minutes I left, and you show up at the original time.! Then you how up out of the blue this morning, and want to talk. All the translators are off for the day. That was lovely. I hope you understood what I was talking about.

Your social service professional.

 

 

 

 

P.S. The four of you who didn't show up at all now have to be tracked down at some point this week. These were mandatory appointments.

Thanks for making my job easier...not!

Edited November 5, 2010 by nettiesaur

[Janie]

Dear IcyHot,

 

You suck on a level that is unfathomable.

 

Sincerely,

Gonna Poke My Hand With a Syringe Full of Novocain

 

[neil#2]

Dear Beautiful,

 

I had my chance right there. I could've taken it. I swear, the next time I get it, I'm not going to hesitate. I've waited too long for this and I need you to see how I really feel. It's time I do something for myself for once. You'll see very soon.

 

Sincerely,

Clearly still in love with you

[CMWriter]

Dear Jeffrey Peter Malashok,

Oh, my dear, fictional character.. You were around before any of the other creations of my imagination. You've been in too many scenarios to count, you've gone through friendships, relationships, and breakups, and you've basically lived a life like most other 17-28-year-olds. You've been in original and weird fan fiction; romances, mysteries, comedies, and...

Well, I have a confession to make.

You're never going to get past the age 28 no matter what I write.

I created you way back in middle school, back when my writing was more atrocious than Stephanie Meyer's, and it didn't take me long to realize this one thing:

You're the perfect tragic hero.

Thus, you're always going to die at the end of the story.

You're the Kenny of my stories. I can't not let you be shot/slashed across the face/stabbed in the heart/freeze to death, or any other number of scenarios. It just won't work that way.

Yes, even in your cameo as a security guard in 2113, you will die. Sorry for getting your hopes up. But don't feel bad, because a much more important character will die, too.

 

Your loving creator,

Christine

 

P.S. There's nothing you can do to convince me to stop killing you off in my stories. But again, don't worry, because you'll never die dishonorably.

[Mara]

Dear Stupid Woman In The Range Rover,

 

I know - it's perhaps a redundancy to call someone in a Range Rover "stupid" - after all, only the intellectually-challenged waste that kind of money on a vehicle that is perenially at the top of any list of Crappiest, Most Unreliable Cars In Production.

 

But I digress. Today you were in front of me in the left turn lane, and there were maybe eight cars ahead of you. The light changed, the eight cars turned left, you. . .sat there, not paying attention, and caused the rest of us to miss the light. And you had the audacity to make a rude gesture at me when I tapped the horn to zap you out of your reverie.

 

So we sat through another round of light changing. Then , when the green arrow lit up again FINALLY. . .you were out of it once more! You'd have sat right through that one!

 

Oh yeah, I leaned on the horn.

 

Either get off the road, or put down the phone, or go home and get some sleep. Whatever it is you need to do to get your focus back, because you are dangerous.

[Babycat]

To all the former teachers in the schools I went to: Where the Hell were you when I got bullied every day & you just did nothing?!

[nettiesaur]

Dear Honey,

Why did you even volunteer to help me tomorrow when you KNEW you weren't going to be available? Now people are counting on you and you won't be there.

Real nice.