Principled Man Posted August 15, 2024 Author Posted August 15, 2024 I'm Forrest....Forrest Gump. My name is Bond....James Bond. Dent....Arthur Dent.
Principled Man Posted August 17, 2024 Author Posted August 17, 2024 What do you say during sex at sunrise? GOOD MOANING!!
Chicken hawk Posted August 17, 2024 Posted August 17, 2024 What do you call marijuana on the beach? Sea weed
BastillePark Posted August 17, 2024 Posted August 17, 2024 A guy takes his wife to the airport for a business trip. As she's getting out of the car she asks, "Is there anything you'd like me to bring you?" He laughs and says, "How about an Italian girl?" About a week later she returns and on the way home from the airport he asks, "Well, what did you being me? I don't see a girl." She replies, "I'll let you know in about nine months, but I can't guarantee it will be a girl." 1
Principled Man Posted August 27, 2024 Author Posted August 27, 2024 Who is the best Muppet of all time? It has to be the Vampire Muppet. None of the other Muppets count. 1
Principled Man Posted August 27, 2024 Author Posted August 27, 2024 Who was the first to earn a PhD in palindromes? -- Dr. Awkward 1
Principled Man Posted September 3, 2024 Author Posted September 3, 2024 A turtle and a snail had a head-on collision. The snail was crushed. The investigating officer asked, "Mr. Turtle, how did the accident happen?" The turtle replied, "I don't know. It happened so fast."
Principled Man Posted September 3, 2024 Author Posted September 3, 2024 I don't care what people say. You can never top a plain pizza.
Principled Man Posted September 4, 2024 Author Posted September 4, 2024 When one door closes, another door opens. Aside from that, my car is great!
invisible airwave Posted September 7, 2024 Posted September 7, 2024 (edited) 80s action movies did a lot of fear mongering around punks, but in reality they were only a minor threat. Spoiler Repo Man being an exception. Edited September 7, 2024 by invisible airwave 1
blackhawkrush Posted September 7, 2024 Posted September 7, 2024 We interrupt this thread in order to pay for it.
blackhawkrush Posted September 20, 2024 Posted September 20, 2024 Man: Are you married? Second man: No, I was just peeling onions.
invisible airwave Posted September 21, 2024 Posted September 21, 2024 What does Billie Joe Armstrong have as a nickname for September? Labor Month.
blackhawkrush Posted September 21, 2024 Posted September 21, 2024 Coming to your Cinema soon, Amityville 2 Luton Town 3
invisible airwave Posted September 25, 2024 Posted September 25, 2024 A female plays a presumed male God in Kevin Smith's 1999 film, Dogma. Ironic, don't you think?
Principled Man Posted October 1, 2024 Author Posted October 1, 2024 Did you know that Captain James T. Kirk has three ears? The left ear, the right ear and the final frontier. 1
blackhawkrush Posted October 4, 2024 Posted October 4, 2024 Poor Mr. Smith, threw himself onto the tracks. Died of old age.
blackhawkrush Posted October 4, 2024 Posted October 4, 2024 Expedition journal: "April the 51st. This month seems to be dragging on forever." 1
BastillePark Posted October 4, 2024 Posted October 4, 2024 This is plagiarized from Mark Normand. "A lot of comedians talk about getting cancelled or 'woke" crowds. You who really doesn't like woke people? Bill Cosby."
blackhawkrush Posted October 4, 2024 Posted October 4, 2024 Waiter: On the menu tonight we have David Niven, Orson Welles, Sofia Loren... Wife to husband: You've had that one before.
Principled Man Posted October 8, 2024 Author Posted October 8, 2024 Did you know that 90% of all the Fords ever produced are still on the road? The remaining 10% made it home. 2
invisible airwave Posted October 14, 2024 Posted October 14, 2024 Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. 1
Principled Man Posted October 14, 2024 Author Posted October 14, 2024 1 hour ago, invisible airwave said: Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. 1
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