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How Do You Deal With Rude People?


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#1 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 07:54 PM

Hello everyone!

I work overnight with the general public (Many of them are quite intoxicated.), and I have to deal with a lot of rude and malicious people. How do you handle a situation where you are put down and treated like garbage? I use the 'kill them with kindness' method, but after a while it's extremely difficult to force a smile and be nice to these people. How do you block it out and ignore them?

Thanks.
:hug2:

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#2 Cyclonus X-1

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:02 PM

I say "My kind!" and embrace them as comrades!

Join us, LG, and smite the polite and the generous!  :madra:

#3 BowlCity

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:03 PM

I slaughter them and feast on their entrails.

#4 Blue J

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:13 PM

Honestly, I would say that you're doing the best that you can do, to kill them with kindness, as you say. But there's no reason that you have to be exceedingly kind to them. Working with the general public is always dicey, but especially if they're drunk and obnoxious, you don't have to keep smiling a big smile at an obnoxious asshat like that.

Self-preservation has to win out. So if you're doing your job and doing it well, don't knock yourself out to be especially nice to a drunken dickhead. You won't be faulted for that.

#5 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:20 PM

View PostBlue J, on 08 February 2015 - 08:13 PM, said:

Working with the general public is always dicey, but especially if they're drunk and obnoxious, you don't have to keep smiling a big smile at an obnoxious asshat like that.

:D

I guess you're right... I should be nice to the customer, but not to the point where they take advantage of my kindness.

#6 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:21 PM

View PostCyclonus X-1, on 08 February 2015 - 08:02 PM, said:

I say "My kind!" and embrace them as comrades!

Join us, LG, and smite the polite and the generous!  :madra:

Aye. :madra:

#7 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:22 PM

View PostBowlCity, on 08 February 2015 - 08:03 PM, said:

I slaughter them and feast on their entrails.

Haha! :lol:

I'd like to keep my job though. :unsure:

#8 EagleMoon

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:23 PM

This is why I don't work with the public anymore. I just wanted to hit people sometimes not that I ever did. :lol: Especially if you're dealing with people that are drinking. Not the best place to be.

#9 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:33 PM

View PostEagleMoon, on 08 February 2015 - 08:23 PM, said:

This is why I don't work with the public anymore. I just wanted to hit people sometimes not that I ever did. :lol: Especially if you're dealing with people that are drinking. Not the best place to be.

I feel exactly the same way.

#10 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 08:48 PM

I am grateful for all who replied to my topic, because I was feeling very nervous about working tonight. After reading everyone's replies, I feel much better! So thank you. :)

#11 bathory

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 10:16 PM

I leave my dignity at the door when I go to work.

#12 bathory

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 10:17 PM

and other than at work I rarely come into contact with rude people

#13 Xanadu

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Posted 08 February 2015 - 10:40 PM

View PostEagleMoon, on 08 February 2015 - 08:23 PM, said:

This is why I don't work with the public anymore. I just wanted to hit people sometimes not that I ever did. :lol: Especially if you're dealing with people that are drinking. Not the best place to be.

I had to get out of doing customer service-type work for that reason. The customer is not always right. Whoever said that must be out of business by now from giving in to every customer's every demand. You have to know when to tell them no, it's not happening, unless you want to go bankrupt. I found that when you do that, they are less inclined to try to walk all over you. I am not saying be rude, be polite but be firm.

#14 Mara

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 12:21 AM

View PostLady Guinevere, on 08 February 2015 - 08:20 PM, said:

View PostBlue J, on 08 February 2015 - 08:13 PM, said:

Working with the general public is always dicey, but especially if they're drunk and obnoxious, you don't have to keep smiling a big smile at an obnoxious asshat like that.

:D

I guess you're right... I should be nice to the customer, but not to the point where they take advantage of my kindness.

When I worked retail and had an asshole customer, I found it quite helpful to give them the middle finger under the counter or otherwise out of sight.  Made me feel better to be quietly saying, "fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou" in a way that wouldn't get me fired.  And then, after they left, my coworkers and I would make fun of them and imitate them.
Only once did it ever get me canned.  It is OK to think, "will that be all today, you come-guzzling gutter slut?"  It is not OK to say it.  Really, though, it was kind of worth getting fired from that $5/hour drudgery.

#15 Principled Man

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 02:46 AM

View PostLady Guinevere, on 08 February 2015 - 07:54 PM, said:

Hello everyone!

I work overnight with the general public (Many of them are quite intoxicated.), and I have to deal with a lot of rude and malicious people. How do you handle a situation where you are put down and treated like garbage? I use the 'kill them with kindness' method, but after a while it's extremely difficult to force a smile and be nice to these people. How do you block it out and ignore them?

Thanks.
:hug2:

1.  Be a professional at all times.  Do not sink to their level.  
2.  NO ONE has the right to insult or abuse you.  Let the customer know this in very clear terms.  Let the customer know that you will refuse service to him/her if the abuse continues.  Let the customer know that the police will be called if it continues.  
3.  Inform your supervisor immediately, and make it known that you will not tolerate the abuse.  If your employer doesn't support you, then find a new employer ASAP.  
4.  Be ready to call the police at all times, and DO IT if it becomes necessary.

But Be Careful.  If there is any chance that these rude and abusive customers would physically assault you, then you should be very cautious.  Get your supervisor on the spot.  Get on the intercom and call for Security.  Protect yourself.

Edited by Principled Man, 09 February 2015 - 06:00 AM.


#16 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 07:23 AM

View PostXanadu, on 08 February 2015 - 10:40 PM, said:

View PostEagleMoon, on 08 February 2015 - 08:23 PM, said:

This is why I don't work with the public anymore. I just wanted to hit people sometimes not that I ever did. :lol: Especially if you're dealing with people that are drinking. Not the best place to be.

I had to get out of doing customer service-type work for that reason. The customer is not always right. Whoever said that must be out of business by now from giving in to every customer's every demand. You have to know when to tell them no, it's not happening, unless you want to go bankrupt. I found that when you do that, they are less inclined to try to walk all over you. I am not saying be rude, be polite but be firm.

I totally agree with you. I had a woman yell at me last night because we were out of a product. "Every night it's a problem. I'm going to report you to the manager." I kindly offered to call my manager, which I did... and she argued with them, even. :huh:

#17 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 07:28 AM

View PostMara, on 09 February 2015 - 12:21 AM, said:

View PostLady Guinevere, on 08 February 2015 - 08:20 PM, said:

View PostBlue J, on 08 February 2015 - 08:13 PM, said:

Working with the general public is always dicey, but especially if they're drunk and obnoxious, you don't have to keep smiling a big smile at an obnoxious asshat like that.

:D

I guess you're right... I should be nice to the customer, but not to the point where they take advantage of my kindness.

When I worked retail and had an asshole customer, I found it quite helpful to give them the middle finger under the counter or otherwise out of sight.  Made me feel better to be quietly saying, "fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou" in a way that wouldn't get me fired.  And then, after they left, my coworkers and I would make fun of them and imitate them.
Only once did it ever get me canned.  It is OK to think, "will that be all today, you come-guzzling gutter slut?"  It is not OK to say it.  Really, though, it was kind of worth getting fired from that $5/hour drudgery.

Five dollars per hour? That's terrible.

#18 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 07:33 AM

View PostPrincipled Man, on 09 February 2015 - 02:46 AM, said:

View PostLady Guinevere, on 08 February 2015 - 07:54 PM, said:

Hello everyone!

I work overnight with the general public (Many of them are quite intoxicated.), and I have to deal with a lot of rude and malicious people. How do you handle a situation where you are put down and treated like garbage? I use the 'kill them with kindness' method, but after a while it's extremely difficult to force a smile and be nice to these people. How do you block it out and ignore them?

Thanks.
:hug2:

1.  Be a professional at all times.  Do not sink to their level.  
2.  NO ONE has the right to insult or abuse you.  Let the customer know this in very clear terms.  Let the customer know that you will refuse service to him/her if the abuse continues.  Let the customer know that the police will be called if it continues.  
3.  Inform your supervisor immediately, and make it known that you will not tolerate the abuse.  If your employer doesn't support you, then find a new employer ASAP.  
4.  Be ready to call the police at all times, and DO IT if it becomes necessary.

But Be Careful.  If there is any chance that these rude and abusive customers would physically assault you, then you should be very cautious.  Get your supervisor on the spot.  Get on the intercom and call for Security.  Protect yourself.

I've never considered contacting the police; I'd hope to never be in a situation that would require that... though I have felt afraid a few times. Lately, rather than dealing with an unfriendly or unsatisfied customer on my own, I've been calling my manager to speak with them. I don't always; only if they are particularly rude or aggressive.

#19 Mara

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 10:07 AM

View PostLady Guinevere, on 09 February 2015 - 07:28 AM, said:

View PostMara, on 09 February 2015 - 12:21 AM, said:

View PostLady Guinevere, on 08 February 2015 - 08:20 PM, said:

View PostBlue J, on 08 February 2015 - 08:13 PM, said:

Working with the general public is always dicey, but especially if they're drunk and obnoxious, you don't have to keep smiling a big smile at an obnoxious asshat like that.

:D

I guess you're right... I should be nice to the customer, but not to the point where they take advantage of my kindness.

When I worked retail and had an asshole customer, I found it quite helpful to give them the middle finger under the counter or otherwise out of sight.  Made me feel better to be quietly saying, "fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou" in a way that wouldn't get me fired.  And then, after they left, my coworkers and I would make fun of them and imitate them.
Only once did it ever get me canned.  It is OK to think, "will that be all today, you come-guzzling gutter slut?"  It is not OK to say it.  Really, though, it was kind of worth getting fired from that $5/hour drudgery.

Five dollars per hour? That's terrible.

This was over 20 years ago.  Now, if I ever reach the point where the only employment option is retail/dealing with the general public, I'll saw off an arm and go on disability.

Edited by Mara, 09 February 2015 - 10:09 AM.


#20 Principled Man

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 03:52 PM

View PostLady Guinevere, on 09 February 2015 - 07:33 AM, said:

View PostPrincipled Man, on 09 February 2015 - 02:46 AM, said:

View PostLady Guinevere, on 08 February 2015 - 07:54 PM, said:

Hello everyone!

I work overnight with the general public (Many of them are quite intoxicated.), and I have to deal with a lot of rude and malicious people. How do you handle a situation where you are put down and treated like garbage? I use the 'kill them with kindness' method, but after a while it's extremely difficult to force a smile and be nice to these people. How do you block it out and ignore them?

Thanks.
:hug2:

1.  Be a professional at all times.  Do not sink to their level.  
2.  NO ONE has the right to insult or abuse you.  Let the customer know this in very clear terms.  Let the customer know that you will refuse service to him/her if the abuse continues.  Let the customer know that the police will be called if it continues.  
3.  Inform your supervisor immediately, and make it known that you will not tolerate the abuse.  If your employer doesn't support you, then find a new employer ASAP.  
4.  Be ready to call the police at all times, and DO IT if it becomes necessary.

But Be Careful.  If there is any chance that these rude and abusive customers would physically assault you, then you should be very cautious.  Get your supervisor on the spot.  Get on the intercom and call for Security.  Protect yourself.

I've never considered contacting the police; I'd hope to never be in a situation that would require that... though I have felt afraid a few times. Lately, rather than dealing with an unfriendly or unsatisfied customer on my own, I've been calling my manager to speak with them. I don't always; only if they are particularly rude or aggressive.

Night shift police officers always want to have something to do......  :lol:  

But seriously, if customers get nasty with you, spew profanity, and disrupt your business, that is disorderly conduct, and the police will take action.  Once the assholes in your neighborhood get the message that your store will call the police, they will probably leave you alone.  Probably....




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