Forgive Me. But I Must.

[GeddysMullet]

This is just too funny not to post:

 

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/i-tried-cosmos-weirdest-sex-tips-so-you-dont-have?page=0%2C0

[ThatLightInYourEyes]

"The d**k in question was average-sized and named Obama, because when I procured it, even though I hadn’t had sex in a while, I still had the audacity to hope." :o

[gangsterfurious]

Slapping? My husband would KILL me and have me arrested for domestic abuse if I slapped any sensitive area. lol

[umoveme]

The doughnut hole is too small, no??

[gangsterfurious]

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

[gangsterfurious]

The doughnut hole is too small, no??

 

You'd hope so.

[Rushchick10]

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

 

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!

[gangsterfurious]

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

 

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!

 

Well, to quote your quote....

 

"I wonder who invented donuts? I dunno, probably, probably some genius." - Geddy Lee

 

Hence the reason I'm kind of dying laughing over here.

[gangsterfurious]

“Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body—his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs.”

 

WHO DOES THIS?! And why do we have to be told not to break the skin? This is one of the funniest things I've read in such a long time.

[Maverick]

http://i874.photobucket.com/albums/ab301/LoweRider89/pics/I_can_not_fap_to_this_by_desertrick.jpg

[Tombstone Mountain]

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

[gangsterfurious]

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

 

Are there any forks or donuts?

[gangsterfurious]

"take a hot poker and gently press it against your lover's backside..."

[gangsterfurious]

"Pour some teriyaki sauce on their ass once you start to smell flesh sizzling. Ask them if they are getting turned on."

[Chronos]

Dafuq?

[Tombstone Mountain]

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

 

Are there any forks or donuts?

forks yes. Crab rangoon yes. Donuts no.

[gangsterfurious]

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

 

Are there any forks or donuts?

forks yes. Crab rangoon yes. Donuts no.

 

Well just wait for the crab rangoon to cool down before you try anything.

Edited May 3, 2014 by gangsterfurious

[Tombstone Mountain]

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

 

Are there any forks or donuts?

forks yes. Crab rangoon yes. Donuts no.

 

Well just wait for the crab rangoon to cool down before you try anything.

Too late...burned my tongue and actually had to spit it on a plate. Freakin' lava

[Rushchick10]

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

 

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!

 

Well, to quote your quote....

 

"I wonder who invented donuts? I dunno, probably, probably some genius." - Geddy Lee

 

Hence the reason I'm kind of dying laughing over here.

 

:LMAO: I didn't even think about that! EVEN BETTER! This wins the internet for the day.

[Rushchick10]

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

 

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!

 

Well, to quote your quote....

 

"I wonder who invented donuts? I dunno, probably, probably some genius." - Geddy Lee

 

Hence the reason I'm kind of dying laughing over here.

 

:LMAO: I didn't even think about that! EVEN BETTER! This wins the internet for the day.

 

And, just for the record, I have never thought of a donut as a sex toy. I'm glad to be expanding my horizons...I think.

[gangsterfurious]

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

 

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!

 

Well, to quote your quote....

 

"I wonder who invented donuts? I dunno, probably, probably some genius." - Geddy Lee

 

Hence the reason I'm kind of dying laughing over here.

 

:LMAO: I didn't even think about that! EVEN BETTER! This wins the internet for the day.

 

And, just for the record, I have never thought of a donut as a sex toy. I'm glad to be expanding my horizons...I think.

 

So uhm, I've done a few donut runs after sex but I don't think that I'll be incorporating them into the actual act itself.

Edited May 3, 2014 by gangsterfurious

[x1yyz]

And, just for the record, I have never thought of a donut as a sex toy. I'm glad to be expanding my horizons...I think.

 

Clearly you need to read Cosmo's tips more often ;)

 

But yeah, that was a pretty hilarious article.

[gangsterfurious]

Cosmo was one of my guilty little pleasures when I was a teenager. My grandma would buy it for me with other magazines like Vogue, Seventeen, and Elle, and let me keep them at her house. Eventually I became bored with it because it was like the same sex tips over and over, except for those weird ones. I vividly remember one that advised ladies to lick their partner's armpits, saying it was an erogenous zone for men. I have yet to find a man that wants me to lick his armpits.

[Rushchick10]

I vividly remember one that advised ladies to lick their partner's armpits, saying it was an erogenous zone for men. I have yet to find a man that wants me to lick his armpits.

 

And the moment I find that man I am running the other direction. :outtahere:

[gangsterfurious]

I vividly remember one that advised ladies to lick their partner's armpits, saying it was an erogenous zone for men. I have yet to find a man that wants me to lick his armpits.

 

And the moment I find that man I am running the other direction. :outtahere:

 

I know, right?