Autism

[iluvgeddy05]

QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 6 2008, 10:17 AM)

His mother (my ex) hates it (which makes it that much sweeter).

haha, that made me laugh

[Cygnus The God Of Balance]

I figured it was such a cool picture that I'd put it in my signature.

[Sword and Armor]

This may be well covered ground but in seeing the pictures of the kids in this thread, I'm once again reminded that kids with autism look like any other kid and there is no way for anyone to know they have a disability. I was reminded of this fact again this past weekend.

 

Matthew decided that he didn't want to play baseball this year, he just didn't like it last year, but his brother Brian loves it. This past weekend my wife was away at school, so I had to bring all three kids to the game. When we got to the field Brian sprinted out on the field with his team and I took Matthew and the baby over to the playground. After a few minutes the playground got old so we went over to the ballfield because the game started. Matt knows a bunch of the kids on the team and the coach, so they let him hang around the bench during the game. He decided that he would play umpire and call balls and strikes for his brothers team. He was loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to be a nuisance and no one seemed to have a problem with it. The parents that were with the team last year know that Matt is autistic and they understand. When the other team was at bat, he kept calling balls and strikes. After an inning and a half he lost interest.

 

No harm, right? Wrong.

 

The next time Brian came up to bat, Matt decided to start calling balls and strikes on his brother. Being brothers, and taking the liberty that comes with it, Brian tells Matt to stop, in let's just say, a less than friendly way. With that I hear a father from the other team say in a sarcastic tone, "Yeah, good idea". This is a LL game with 6-8 year olds. This A-Hole then looks at me out of the corner of his eye, trying not to make eye contact but see if I'm looking at him. I bit my tongue and held in my anger and walked away with Matt and my now sleeping daughter. If I didn't walk away, I most certainly would have done something that I would have regretted.

[Cygnus The God Of Balance]

QUOTE (Sword and Armor @ May 6 2008, 11:38 AM)

This may be well covered ground but in seeing the pictures of the kids in this thread, I'm once again reminded that kids with autism look like any other kid and there is no way for anyone to know they have a disability. I was reminded of this fact again this past weekend. Matthew decided that he didn't want to play baseball this year, he just didn't like it last year, but his brother Brian loves it. This past weekend my wife was away at school, so I had to bring all three kids to the game. When we got to the field Brian sprinted out on the field with his team and I took Matthew and the baby over to the playground. After a few minutes the playground got old so we went over to the ballfield because the game started. Matt knows a bunch of the kids on the team and the coach, so they let him hang around the bench during the game. He decided that he would play umpire and call balls and strikes for his brothers team. He was loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to be a nuisance and no one seemed to have a problem with it. The parents that were with the team last year know that Matt is autistic and they understand. When the other team was at bat, he kept calling balls and strikes. After an inning and a half he lost interest. No harm, right? Wrong. The next time Brian came up to bat, Matt decided to start calling balls and strikes on his brother. Being brothers, and taking the liberty that comes with it, Brian tells Matt to stop, in let's just say, a less than friendly way. With that I hear a father from the other team say in a sarcastic tone, "Yeah, good idea". This is a LL game with 6-8 year olds. This A-Hole then looks at me out of the corner of his eye, trying not to make eye contact but see if I'm looking at him. I bit my tongue and held in my anger and walked away with Matt and my now sleeping daughter. If I didn't walk away, I most certainly would have done something that I would have regretted.

I know how you feel. I've said on here plenty of times how I used to be over protective of Tony, to the point where I'd have him at Wal Mart or in a restaurant just waiting for someone to say something if he decided it was time to act up.

 

Certainly the wrong approach by me.

 

Parents at sporting events can be cruel to the kids on the opposing team, regardless of whether the child has a disability or not. I know I've mellowed a lot the past couple of years, and I sometimes try to use those situations, that would have in the past been an altercation, as an opportunity to educate the individual about Autism.

 

In the same vein, but much more difficult, I also try to teach Tony what is 'appropriate' and 'inappropriate' public behavior. I'm not implying that what your son did was inappropriate in any means, so don't take that the wrong way, please. I think it's just as important, however, to teach our Autistic children what is and is not appropriate behavior in public. In the past, I would have given Tony a pass for his behavior and let him do whatever he did and chalk it up to Autism. However, as he's grown and gotten bigger, I think it's important for him to learn rules.

 

We went as a family to Ann Arbor, Michigan this past weekend to visit my girlfriend Sharon's son who's home from the Navy for two weeks. Michael asked us to go to church with him on Sunday. Now, church and Tony have NEVER mixed, so I stopped going years ago. But, I figured we'd give it a try and see what happened. Well, first off it was a college kids church, so the atmosphere was very relaxed. They had a Christian rock band (not really my cup of tea but they were good musicians) and Tony really enjoyed it. He kept checking out the drummer (making Papa very proud). A couple of times when it was more quiet, Tony asked for 'tickles' and was giggling, and I quietly corrected him and told him 'no tickles.....quiet' and made the "shhhh" sign with my finger to my mouth. A few times of that and he was fine.

 

Ironically, the sermon was about tolerance, and I was quite impressed at how tolerant the young man sitting in front of Tony was as he went through 30 seconds of kicking the back of this guy's seat.

 

I guess the point I'm trying to say is put your kids in these situations. Don't hide them from the world, and don't hide the world from them. They need to be exposed to life in our world and we'll get exposed to life in their world. Before this weekend, I never thought Tony would sit for 90 minutes through a church service. Am I going to run out next Sunday and sit him through Mass? No, but at least I know he CAN do that without a big meltdown every time. And if he did have a meltdown, we would have dealt with that.

 

Up next for Tony will be a dance recital that Sharon's kids are involved in. We decided that we'd try taking Tony to that. We'll sit close to the exit just in case.

[Sword and Armor]

QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 6 2008, 01:10 PM)

QUOTE (Sword and Armor @ May 6 2008, 11:38 AM) This may be well covered ground but in seeing the pictures of the kids in this thread, I'm once again reminded that kids with autism look like any other kid and there is no way for anyone to know they have a disability. I was reminded of this fact again this past weekend. Matthew decided that he didn't want to play baseball this year, he just didn't like it last year, but his brother Brian loves it. This past weekend my wife was away at school, so I had to bring all three kids to the game. When we got to the field Brian sprinted out on the field with his team and I took Matthew and the baby over to the playground. After a few minutes the playground got old so we went over to the ballfield because the game started. Matt knows a bunch of the kids on the team and the coach, so they let him hang around the bench during the game. He decided that he would play umpire and call balls and strikes for his brothers team. He was loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to be a nuisance and no one seemed to have a problem with it. The parents that were with the team last year know that Matt is autistic and they understand. When the other team was at bat, he kept calling balls and strikes. After an inning and a half he lost interest. No harm, right? Wrong. The next time Brian came up to bat, Matt decided to start calling balls and strikes on his brother. Being brothers, and taking the liberty that comes with it, Brian tells Matt to stop, in let's just say, a less than friendly way. With that I hear a father from the other team say in a sarcastic tone, "Yeah, good idea". This is a LL game with 6-8 year olds. This A-Hole then looks at me out of the corner of his eye, trying not to make eye contact but see if I'm looking at him. I bit my tongue and held in my anger and walked away with Matt and my now sleeping daughter. If  I didn't walk away, I most certainly would have done something that I would have regretted. I know how you feel. I've said on here plenty of times how I used to be over protective of Tony, to the point where I'd have him at Wal Mart or in a restaurant just waiting for someone to say something if he decided it was time to act up.   Certainly the wrong approach by me.   Parents at sporting events can be cruel to the kids on the opposing team, regardless of whether the child has a disability or not. I know I've mellowed a lot the past couple of years, and I sometimes try to use those situations, that would have in the past been an altercation, as an opportunity to educate the individual about Autism.   In the same vein, but much more difficult, I also try to teach Tony what is 'appropriate' and 'inappropriate' public behavior. I'm not implying that what your son did was inappropriate in any means, so don't take that the wrong way, please. I think it's just as important, however, to teach our Autistic children what is and is not appropriate behavior in public. In the past, I would have given Tony a pass for his behavior and let him do whatever he did and chalk it up to Autism. However, as he's grown and gotten bigger, I think it's important for him to learn rules.   We went as a family to Ann Arbor, Michigan this past weekend to visit my girlfriend Sharon's son who's home from the Navy for two weeks. Michael asked us to go to church with him on Sunday. Now, church and Tony have NEVER mixed, so I stopped going years ago. But, I figured we'd give it a try and see what happened. Well, first off it was a college kids church, so the atmosphere was very relaxed. They had a Christian rock band (not really my cup of tea but they were good musicians) and Tony really enjoyed it. He kept checking out the drummer (making Papa very proud). A couple of times when it was more quiet, Tony asked for 'tickles' and was giggling, and I quietly corrected him and told him 'no tickles.....quiet' and made the "shhhh" sign with my finger to my mouth. A few times of that and he was fine.   Ironically, the sermon was about tolerance, and I was quite impressed at how tolerant the young man sitting in front of Tony was as he went through 30 seconds of kicking the back of this guy's seat.   I guess the point I'm trying to say is put your kids in these situations. Don't hide them from the world, and don't hide the world from them. They need to be exposed to life in our world and we'll get exposed to life in their world. Before this weekend, I never thought Tony would sit for 90 minutes through a church service. Am I going to run out next Sunday and sit him through Mass? No, but at least I know he CAN do that without a big meltdown every time. And if he did have a meltdown, we would have dealt with that.   Up next for Tony will be a dance recital that Sharon's kids are involved in. We decided that we'd try taking Tony to that. We'll sit close to the exit just in case. Nothing taken the wrong way at all.   We do our best to point out acceptable and unacceptable behavior to all of our kids. In this situation, my issue was with the intolerance of some A-Hole living vicariously though his kid. What kind of J.O. does this at any sporting event that involves 6, 7 and 8 year old kids? I referee hockey, and I stay away from the younger kids for just this reason. I would rather do a college game where this is some measure of respect, not for me or my position specifically, but for the game.   If you can educate some of these people, more power to you!   I think it's great that you got Tony to sit through a church service and best of luck with the recital!

Edited May 6, 2008 by Sword and Armor

[ladirushfan80]

Here's a very cool Video of a story about a boy with autism.

 

 

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/th_McElway_basketball.jpg

 

 

 

[Cygnus The God Of Balance]

[iluvgeddy05]

I was just thinking today about a couple things, one being my poetry from college and my ex who had Aspergers. The two do go hand-in-hand because when I was with him, I had some tough times dealing with his A.S. I chalk it up to not knowing enough about the sydrome and immaturity. Anyhow, I thought I would share two poems I wrote about him in the following posts -- which is how I saw A.S. (Aspergers Syndrome)

[iluvgeddy05]

[iluvgeddy05]

With this one I actually won some college-wide poetry prizes:

 

Blank

 

 

 

Your mind is blank.

Explores nothing

while I walk its concave ceiling.

Today, tomorrow,

 

my goal is filling voids of newfound mystery,

weeding out all that's not you,

staining a bare canvas with my image.

 

"What are you thinking?"

 

is the question that jumps

from my heart to my voice.

My back, turned to you.

 

"My mind is blank,"

you say.

 

I know better.

I am staring into your mind,

waiting for it to blink.

 

[GhostGirl]

Thank you for sharing those, ILG.

 

I am smiling pretty big right now - Stephen got to go bowling with his grade today.

 

His wonderful teacher and aide worked with him all week to practice bowling in the gym - they have a ramp they use so that kids who can't manage a heavy ball can roll it and still bowl - and he went with his peers to the bowling lanes today. He did great!

 

I hope they took pictures. My baby went bowling - just like a regular kid. I'm so proud.

[gleamingalloyaircar81]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ May 15 2008, 03:37 PM)

Thank you for sharing those, ILG. I am smiling pretty big right now - Stephen got to go bowling with his grade today. His wonderful teacher and aide worked with him all week to practice bowling in the gym - they have a ramp they use so that kids who can't manage a heavy ball can roll it and still bowl - and he went with his peers to the bowling lanes today. He did great! I hope they took pictures. My baby went bowling - just like a regular kid. I'm so proud.

Aww thats so nice to hear that GG!

[Cygnus The God Of Balance]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ May 15 2008, 03:37 PM)

Thank you for sharing those, ILG. I am smiling pretty big right now - Stephen got to go bowling with his grade today. His wonderful teacher and aide worked with him all week to practice bowling in the gym - they have a ramp they use so that kids who can't manage a heavy ball can roll it and still bowl - and he went with his peers to the bowling lanes today. He did great! I hope they took pictures. My baby went bowling - just like a regular kid. I'm so proud.

That's AWESOME Michelle!!! There's nothing that Stephen can't do and you know it!!! When we take Tony bowling he uses a ramp just like that with the lane bumpers.

 

Sharon's kids, Brandon and Holly, have a dance recital this weekend, so I took Tony to the dress rehearsal last night and he LOVED it. He clapped for every number, tapped his feet to the music and really enjoyed himself. He even put his hands over his head like the ballerinas did.

 

I was very proud of him sitting there like a well behaved little boy.

 

GG, aren't you always amazed at what our little guys can do? It will be fun to look back a year from now and see how far they've come in that time period.

 

 

[GhostGirl]

QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 15 2008, 04:15 PM)

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ May 15 2008, 03:37 PM) Thank you for sharing those, ILG.  I am smiling pretty big right now - Stephen got to go bowling with his grade today. His wonderful teacher and aide worked with him all week to practice bowling in the gym - they have a ramp they use so that kids who can't manage a heavy ball can roll it and still bowl - and he went with his peers to the bowling lanes today.  He did great! I hope they took pictures.  My baby went bowling - just like a regular kid.  I'm so proud. That's AWESOME Michelle!!! There's nothing that Stephen can't do and you know it!!! When we take Tony bowling he uses a ramp just like that with the lane bumpers.   Sharon's kids, Brandon and Holly, have a dance recital this weekend, so I took Tony to the dress rehearsal last night and he LOVED it. He clapped for every number, tapped his feet to the music and really enjoyed himself. He even put his hands over his head like the ballerinas did.   I was very proud of him sitting there like a well behaved little boy.   GG, aren't you always amazed at what our little guys can do? It will be fun to look back a year from now and see how far they've come in that time period. Yes, I am amazed!!!   I'm going to hold on to feeling good like this about Stephen - it helps get through the not-so-good days.   But now maybe we can add one more activity to our family outings.

[GhostGirl]

I know Ernie Els' son has been mentioned...I hope this video clip isn't a duplicate.

 

Nice little piece on cnn.com http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/sports/20....els.autism.cnn

[RushRevisited]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ May 15 2008, 04:37 PM)

Thank you for sharing those, ILG. I am smiling pretty big right now - Stephen got to go bowling with his grade today. His wonderful teacher and aide worked with him all week to practice bowling in the gym - they have a ramp they use so that kids who can't manage a heavy ball can roll it and still bowl - and he went with his peers to the bowling lanes today. He did great! I hope they took pictures. My baby went bowling - just like a regular kid. I'm so proud.

VERY COOL!

[nettiesaur]

I know how you feel GG. I made it through the spring program with my student who might have Aspergers(still waiting on that, grr) without a meltdown from him. That is a BIG improvement.

Little stuff like this is such a big deal for these kids. One teeny step in the right direction.

[Cygnus The God Of Balance]

Here's a story that will make your blood boil

 

Autistic Boy Banned from Church

 

I saw this story this morning on Fox News. I have several thoughts on this story. First I feel for this family. Their son is 6', 225 pounds and 13 years old. As many of you know, Autistic children can be a handful, whether they are Autistic or not. Shouldn't the church be a source of comfort for this family, instead of just another barrier?

 

I do agree that the family has to make sure that their son understands what is 'correct' and 'incorrect' public behavior. We are working on that with Tony. We're trying to teach him that it's inappropriate to be loud and act up when we're at a restaurant, and that approach is working. It sounds like the family is trying, but with such an imposing child as Adam is, it must be profoundly difficult.

 

From the church's standpoint, it seems, like many Americans, they have no idea what raising an Autistic child is like. Pressure and joint compression is very soothing to Autistic children, as is evidenced in books written by Temple Grandin.

 

Most people shy away from uncomfortable situations. I wonder how many times that priest has gone to the house to console and pray with that family. It seems unfair. What about those who suffer from Turrets Syndrome? Other disabled people? Are they welcome in that church?

 

 

 

[iluvgeddy05]

QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 19 2008, 09:09 AM)

Here's a story that will make your blood boil Autistic Boy Banned from Church I saw this story this morning on Fox News. I have several thoughts on this story. First I feel for this family. Their son is 6', 225 pounds and 13 years old. As many of you know, Autistic children can be a handful, whether they are Autistic or not. Shouldn't the church be a source of comfort for this family, instead of just another barrier? I do agree that the family has to make sure that their son understands what is 'correct' and 'incorrect' public behavior. We are working on that with Tony. We're trying to teach him that it's inappropriate to be loud and act up when we're at a restaurant, and that approach is working. It sounds like the family is trying, but with such an imposing child as Adam is, it must be profoundly difficult. From the church's standpoint, it seems, like many Americans, they have no idea what raising an Autistic child is like. Pressure and joint compression is very soothing to Autistic children, as is evidenced in books written by Temple Grandin. Most people shy away from uncomfortable situations. I wonder how many times that priest has gone to the house to console and pray with that family. It seems unfair. What about those who suffer from Turrets Syndrome? Other disabled people? Are they welcome in that church?

Yeah ok ....and not to be politically charged here, but leave it to a church to be against anyone not "normal". No wonder attendance is down -- who wants to be a part of any establishment, religious or otherwise, if they are going to discriminate and bar certain people from being apart of it?? The Church should work with the family, not against it.

[GhostGirl]

QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 19 2008, 09:09 AM)

Here's a story that will make your blood boil Autistic Boy Banned from Church I saw this story this morning on Fox News. I have several thoughts on this story. First I feel for this family. Their son is 6', 225 pounds and 13 years old. As many of you know, Autistic children can be a handful, whether they are Autistic or not. Shouldn't the church be a source of comfort for this family, instead of just another barrier? I do agree that the family has to make sure that their son understands what is 'correct' and 'incorrect' public behavior. We are working on that with Tony. We're trying to teach him that it's inappropriate to be loud and act up when we're at a restaurant, and that approach is working. It sounds like the family is trying, but with such an imposing child as Adam is, it must be profoundly difficult. From the church's standpoint, it seems, like many Americans, they have no idea what raising an Autistic child is like. Pressure and joint compression is very soothing to Autistic children, as is evidenced in books written by Temple Grandin. Most people shy away from uncomfortable situations. I wonder how many times that priest has gone to the house to console and pray with that family. It seems unfair. What about those who suffer from Turrets Syndrome? Other disabled people? Are they welcome in that church?

Wow.

 

That breaks my heart.

[liquidcrystalcompass]

QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ May 20 2008, 08:52 AM)

QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 19 2008, 09:09 AM) Here's a story that will make your blood boil Autistic Boy Banned from Church I saw this story this morning on Fox News.  I have several thoughts on this story.  First I feel for this family.  Their son is 6', 225 pounds and 13 years old.  As many of you know, Autistic children can be a handful, whether they are Autistic or not.  Shouldn't the church be a source of comfort for this family, instead of just another barrier?  I do agree that the family has to make sure that their son understands what is 'correct' and 'incorrect' public behavior.  We are working on that with Tony.  We're trying to teach him that it's inappropriate to be loud and act up when we're at a restaurant, and that approach is working.  It sounds like the family is trying, but with such an imposing child as Adam is, it must be profoundly difficult.  From the church's standpoint, it seems, like many Americans, they have no idea what raising an Autistic child is like.  Pressure and joint compression is very soothing to Autistic children, as is evidenced in books written by Temple Grandin.  Most people shy away from uncomfortable situations.  I wonder how many times that priest has gone to the house to console and pray with that family.  It seems unfair.  What about those who suffer from Turrets Syndrome?  Other disabled people?  Are they welcome in that church? Yeah ok ....and not to be politically charged here, but leave it to a church to be against anyone not "normal". No wonder attendance is down -- who wants to be a part of any establishment, religious or otherwise, if they are going to discriminate and bar certain people from being apart of it?? The Church should work with the family, not against it. This topic is a doulbe-edged sword. No one should be discriminated by a church. Ever. But, people in church are trying to focus and tap into some things that should not be interrupted on a regular basis. If the child becomes hard to handle during service, and the family leaves the room, then good for the parents. If they don't, then the flow of the service is interrupted.   I have no idea how to raise a child with autism. I've never walked in those shoes. But I have a feeling that the frustration level is magnified when the child is entering puberty.   This story may not be as cut and dry as it seems. The problem in this case could be with the church AND the parents. This should be addressed and handled properly with open minds. If the family and the child are not allowed, then shame on the church. If the family doesn't do everything in their power not to disturb the service, then shame on them. The church should be understanding and patient with the family. And the family should do likewise. There will be times when the child becomes hard to handle. And everyone should be understanding of that FACT. The church and the family both have responsibilites in this matter.   I don't think that we have the full story. But if we do, then shame on the church.

[GhostGirl]

QUOTE (liquidcrystalcompass @ May 20 2008, 11:16 AM)

QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ May 20 2008, 08:52 AM) QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 19 2008, 09:09 AM) Here's a story that will make your blood boil Autistic Boy Banned from Church I saw this story this morning on Fox News.  I have several thoughts on this story.  First I feel for this family.  Their son is 6', 225 pounds and 13 years old.  As many of you know, Autistic children can be a handful, whether they are Autistic or not.  Shouldn't the church be a source of comfort for this family, instead of just another barrier?  I do agree that the family has to make sure that their son understands what is 'correct' and 'incorrect' public behavior.  We are working on that with Tony.  We're trying to teach him that it's inappropriate to be loud and act up when we're at a restaurant, and that approach is working.  It sounds like the family is trying, but with such an imposing child as Adam is, it must be profoundly difficult.  From the church's standpoint, it seems, like many Americans, they have no idea what raising an Autistic child is like.  Pressure and joint compression is very soothing to Autistic children, as is evidenced in books written by Temple Grandin.  Most people shy away from uncomfortable situations.  I wonder how many times that priest has gone to the house to console and pray with that family.  It seems unfair.  What about those who suffer from Turrets Syndrome?  Other disabled people?  Are they welcome in that church? Yeah ok ....and not to be politically charged here, but leave it to a church to be against anyone not "normal". No wonder attendance is down -- who wants to be a part of any establishment, religious or otherwise, if they are going to discriminate and bar certain people from being apart of it?? The Church should work with the family, not against it. This topic is a doulbe-edged sword. No one should be discriminated by a church. Ever. But, people in church are trying to focus and tap into some things that should not be interrupted on a regular basis. If the child becomes hard to handle during service, and the family leaves the room, then good for the parents. If they don't, then the flow of the service is interrupted.   I have no idea how to raise a child with autism. I've never walked in those shoes. But I have a feeling that the frustration level is magnified when the child is entering puberty.   This story may not be as cut and dry as it seems. The problem in this case could be with the church AND the parents. This should be addressed and handled properly with open minds. If the family and the child are not allowed, then shame on the church. If the family doesn't do everything in their power not to disturb the service, then shame on them. The church should be understanding and patient with the family. And the family should do likewise. There will be times when the child becomes hard to handle. And everyone should be understanding of that FACT. The church and the family both have responsibilites in this matter.   I don't think that we have the full story. But if we do, then shame on the church. Well, see...here's the thing.   It's quite possible that the parents ARE doing all they can. It comes down to the sad fact that there may be no perfect way to resolve such a situation. Either the family is going to stop coming to church and feel isolated and rejected, or the church will expand its understanding and somehow the family will find a place there - and mass may never be quiet.   It's just a bit hard to take, as the parent of a very loud and energetic autistic child, to be told that I "shouldn't let him act like that." [And this happens to me at times.] Merely making statements like that shows that someone doesn't understand even a minute fraction of what it's like to live with such a child. "Don't let him pull books off the bookstore shelves" or "Don't let him grab french fries off another child's plate."   It's a classic case of "Easy for YOU to say..."

[Cygnus The God Of Balance]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ May 20 2008, 11:45 AM)

It's a classic case of "Easy for YOU to say..."

People just don't understand sometimes.

 

You know it's wrong for Stephen to pull books off the shelf. I know it's wrong for Tony to steal french fries off someone's plate (they're like twins GG). We try to correct the behavior but it takes time, and since they're big boys, their actions can sometimes be, I guess, intimidating to others.

 

It's tiring enough taking care of our boys, let alone having to deal with other peoples' concerns.

 

 

[GhostGirl]

QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 20 2008, 12:03 PM)

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ May 20 2008, 11:45 AM) It's a classic case of "Easy for YOU to say..." People just don't understand sometimes.   You know it's wrong for Stephen to pull books off the shelf. I know it's wrong for Tony to steal french fries off someone's plate (they're like twins GG). We try to correct the behavior but it takes time, and since they're big boys, their actions can sometimes be, I guess, intimidating to others.   It's tiring enough taking care of our boys, let alone having to deal with other peoples' concerns. Truer words were never spoken, my friend.

[liquidcrystalcompass]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ May 20 2008, 11:45 AM)

QUOTE (liquidcrystalcompass @ May 20 2008, 11:16 AM) QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ May 20 2008, 08:52 AM) QUOTE (Cygnus The God Of Balance @ May 19 2008, 09:09 AM) Here's a story that will make your blood boil Autistic Boy Banned from Church I saw this story this morning on Fox News.  I have several thoughts on this story.  First I feel for this family.  Their son is 6', 225 pounds and 13 years old.  As many of you know, Autistic children can be a handful, whether they are Autistic or not.  Shouldn't the church be a source of comfort for this family, instead of just another barrier?  I do agree that the family has to make sure that their son understands what is 'correct' and 'incorrect' public behavior.  We are working on that with Tony.  We're trying to teach him that it's inappropriate to be loud and act up when we're at a restaurant, and that approach is working.  It sounds like the family is trying, but with such an imposing child as Adam is, it must be profoundly difficult.  From the church's standpoint, it seems, like many Americans, they have no idea what raising an Autistic child is like.  Pressure and joint compression is very soothing to Autistic children, as is evidenced in books written by Temple Grandin.  Most people shy away from uncomfortable situations.  I wonder how many times that priest has gone to the house to console and pray with that family.  It seems unfair.  What about those who suffer from Turrets Syndrome?  Other disabled people?  Are they welcome in that church? Yeah ok ....and not to be politically charged here, but leave it to a church to be against anyone not "normal". No wonder attendance is down -- who wants to be a part of any establishment, religious or otherwise, if they are going to discriminate and bar certain people from being apart of it?? The Church should work with the family, not against it. This topic is a doulbe-edged sword. No one should be discriminated by a church. Ever. But, people in church are trying to focus and tap into some things that should not be interrupted on a regular basis. If the child becomes hard to handle during service, and the family leaves the room, then good for the parents. If they don't, then the flow of the service is interrupted.   I have no idea how to raise a child with autism. I've never walked in those shoes. But I have a feeling that the frustration level is magnified when the child is entering puberty.   This story may not be as cut and dry as it seems. The problem in this case could be with the church AND the parents. This should be addressed and handled properly with open minds. If the family and the child are not allowed, then shame on the church. If the family doesn't do everything in their power not to disturb the service, then shame on them. The church should be understanding and patient with the family. And the family should do likewise. There will be times when the child becomes hard to handle. And everyone should be understanding of that FACT. The church and the family both have responsibilites in this matter.   I don't think that we have the full story. But if we do, then shame on the church. Well, see...here's the thing.   It's quite possible that the parents ARE doing all they can. It comes down to the sad fact that there may be no perfect way to resolve such a situation. Either the family is going to stop coming to church and feel isolated and rejected, or the church will expand its understanding and somehow the family will find a place there - and mass may never be quiet.   It's just a bit hard to take, as the parent of a very loud and energetic autistic child, to be told that I "shouldn't let him act like that." [And this happens to me at times.] Merely making statements like that shows that someone doesn't understand even a minute fraction of what it's like to live with such a child. "Don't let him pull books off the bookstore shelves" or "Don't let him grab french fries off another child's plate."   It's a classic case of "Easy for YOU to say..." True enough. But everyone's feelings should be taken into consideration. I have seen some things regarding autism first hand, and I know it's not all on the parents. Some things are out of their control.   You have an emotional attachment to this subject, and you should. I hope that you didn't take the bits that struck you emotionally to heart and threw the rest out. Do you see the other side of the coin on this?