Narps Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Being ignored as a sexual being hurts and it builds and builds over time. The sex almost becomes secondary to the desire to just want to be desired.... Sex aside, knowing you are wanted and the need for physical contact (hugs, touching, etc.) are basic human needs. To be denied these things is wrong. Narp, I know you said your marriage was good in non-physical ways, but is that good enough? Are you sure it's the right relationship for you at this point in time? (Well, after you recover.) Let me know if I'm overstepping boundaries here...No you are not overstepping any boundaries at all. The fact that you care enough to respond is touching. For me its been so many years (33) that I don't know what to feel at this point. It just seems easier to put up with it... Thanks 2
Narps Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Being ignored as a sexual being hurts and it builds and builds over time. The sex almost becomes secondary to the desire to just want to be desired.... Sex aside, knowing you are wanted and the need for physical contact (hugs, touching, etc.) are basic human needs. To be denied these things is wrong. Narp, I know you said your marriage was good in non-physical ways, but is that good enough? Are you sure it's the right relationship for you at this point in time? (Well, after you recover.) Let me know if I'm overstepping boundaries here... There are plenty of good women who would be more than happy to make Narp their priority...he's a good man.She is always right.... :D 2
Slack jaw gaze Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 OK so... back on topic. I would think that if a man denies his wife sex and has all of these problems that he just isn't that into her, what do you guys think?I believe you are correct, and I'll add that it is easy to see why.
Babycat Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Being ignored as a sexual being hurts and it builds and builds over time. The sex almost becomes secondary to the desire to just want to be desired.... Sex aside, knowing you are wanted and the need for physical contact (hugs, touching, etc.) are basic human needs. To be denied these things is wrong. Narp, I know you said your marriage was good in non-physical ways, but is that good enough? Are you sure it's the right relationship for you at this point in time? (Well, after you recover.) Let me know if I'm overstepping boundaries here...No you are not overstepping any boundaries at all. The fact that you care enough to respond is touching. For me its been so many years (33) that I don't know what to feel at this point. It just seems easier to put up with it... Thanks Aw, Narp..... 1
Ya_Big_Tree Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 How am I just seeing this thread now?!!! First of all, anti depressants especially Zoloft are HORRIBLE for f***ing with sex drive, orgasms and energy levels so if you're on them and aren't getting any then it's most likely not you but the side effect of the drug. Secondly, I think this article was written as an insight into what other women might be experiencing but are too scared to ask about and so the writer has shown them that they are not alone. Thirdly, if you and your partner are having issues aligning your sexual energy then maybe a good conversation is an order. Like hobo said; don't be afraid to have these discussions with your partner. I think a lot of the problem is people don't feel comfortable talking about their frustrations with their partners. But they are YOUR partners, chances are if you're feeling frustrated they are too. They might be feeling scared to approach the subject as well but if neither of you communicate then nothing will be addressed and nothing will be changed. There are the exceptions of course: illness, confidence issues (which can be helped by a supportive and loving partner making them feel beautiful) or if your partner is being a flat out turd. Nobody wants to f**k a turd. 4
umoveme Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I'd just like to say it's never ever too late to turn relationships around. If counselors aren't "working" go to a new one. Really.<3 3
Principled Man Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I think a lot of the problem is people don't feel comfortable talking about their frustrations with their partners. But they are YOUR partners, chances are if you're feeling frustrated they are too. They might be feeling scared to approach the subject as well but if neither of you communicate then nothing will be addressed and nothing will be changed. Way back in the day, I used to subscribe to Playboy Magazine. I will never forget reading the Playboy Advisor column one day (yes, I did actually read the articles in Playboy ). A guy wrote in about his difficulty in finding out what his girlfriend wanted and liked in bed. He kept asking, "How do I find out _____?" The Advisor gave a simple, two-word answer: Ask her. :ebert: :ebert: :ebert: 5
Alsgalpal Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I'd just like to say it's never ever too late to turn relationships around. If counselors aren't "working" go to a new one. Really.<3 Amen.
Alsgalpal Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Being ignored as a sexual being hurts and it builds and builds over time. The sex almost becomes secondary to the desire to just want to be desired.... Sex aside, knowing you are wanted and the need for physical contact (hugs, touching, etc.) are basic human needs. To be denied these things is wrong. Narp, I know you said your marriage was good in non-physical ways, but is that good enough? Are you sure it's the right relationship for you at this point in time? (Well, after you recover.) Let me know if I'm overstepping boundaries here...No you are not overstepping any boundaries at all. The fact that you care enough to respond is touching. For me its been so many years (33) that I don't know what to feel at this point. It just seems easier to put up with it... Thanks There's a couple books I've read lately that help with this feeling. One's called Emotional Focused Therapy for Dummies (it's really a great book!) by Brent Bradley, PHD and James Furrow, PHD. The other one is called Hold me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson. Read these. You will be floored and will know how to deal with what you are feeling or not feeling. 1
Ya_Big_Tree Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I just read a very interesting article in Cosmo (yes I read that rag :P ) on the study of exercise combatting the effects of anti-depressant/ SSRIs like Lexapro and Zoloft. It was determined that working out 20-30 mins before having sex leads to more desire, arousal and orgasm satisfaction because exercise increases your sympathetic nervous system firing which controls genital stimulation and that's what SSRI's inhibit. Hmm.. no wonder so many couples enjoy working out together. ;) 1
treeduck Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I had a dream the other night about Chrissie, Kris and Jaime...all of them were naked and they seemed to be sleepwalking and they all kept repeating the same thing over and over like a mantra: "I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me"...and they just kept walking about like that for hours and hours... http://xn--applejnger-feb.de/html/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/smiley_emoticons_joint.gif 1
Alsgalpal Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I had a dream the other night about Chrissie, Kris and Jaime...all of them were naked and they seemed to be sleepwalking and they all kept repeating the same thing over and over like a mantra: "I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me"...and they just kept walking about like that for hours and hours... http://xn--applejnger-feb.de/html/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/smiley_emoticons_joint.gif I love me. :P 1
treeduck Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I had a dream the other night about Chrissie, Kris and Jaime...all of them were naked and they seemed to be sleepwalking and they all kept repeating the same thing over and over like a mantra: "I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me"...and they just kept walking about like that for hours and hours... http://xn--applejnger-feb.de/html/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/smiley_emoticons_joint.gif I love me. :P 1
Ya_Big_Tree Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I had a dream the other night about Chrissie, Kris and Jaime...all of them were naked and they seemed to be sleepwalking and they all kept repeating the same thing over and over like a mantra: "I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me"...and they just kept walking about like that for hours and hours... http://xn--applejnger-feb.de/html/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/smiley_emoticons_joint.gif :spitwater: I DO love me :) Today anyway 1
treeduck Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I had a dream the other night about Chrissie, Kris and Jaime...all of them were naked and they seemed to be sleepwalking and they all kept repeating the same thing over and over like a mantra: "I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me"...and they just kept walking about like that for hours and hours... http://xn--applejnger-feb.de/html/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/smiley_emoticons_joint.gif :spitwater: I DO love me :) Today anyway :clap: :hi: :hi: 1
Alsgalpal Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 I had a dream the other night about Chrissie, Kris and Jaime...all of them were naked and they seemed to be sleepwalking and they all kept repeating the same thing over and over like a mantra: "I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me"...and they just kept walking about like that for hours and hours... http://xn--applejnger-feb.de/html/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/smiley_emoticons_joint.gif :spitwater: I DO love me :) Today anyway I loff you always! 1
rushfanforever! Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Now I KNOW you're mad!! :P Nahh, it's just the 420 haze.... :laughing guy: :laughing guy: C'mon Ducky...no one ever told you that it's not nice not to share? :P 1
rushfanforever! Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I wish the hubby WOULD think about how sex really works. His idea of foreplay is turning off the light switch!!! No wonder he's been aching if you know what I mean...go ahead....go watch these porn DVD's and leave me alone!!
The Analog Grownup Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I just read a very interesting article in Cosmo (yes I read that rag :P ) on the study of exercise combatting the effects of anti-depressant/ SSRIs like Lexapro and Zoloft. It was determined that working out 20-30 mins before having sex leads to more desire, arousal and orgasm satisfaction because exercise increases your sympathetic nervous system firing which controls genital stimulation and that's what SSRI's inhibit. Hmm.. no wonder so many couples enjoy working out together. ;) There is some truth to that
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