And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2

[Citizen of the World]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

[blackhawkrush]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

[Citizen of the World]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush? Edited August 26, 2016 by Citizen of the World

[blackhawkrush]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

[Your_Lion]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

[blackhawkrush]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

[Citizen of the World]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

[blackhawkrush]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

[Your_Lion]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

Welcome to a new half-hour chat show in which me, viz the man what's talking to you now, and Brooky - to wit my flat mate - and nothing else, I'd like to emphasize that - discuss current affairs issues of burning import.

[blackhawkrush]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

Welcome to a new half-hour chat show in which me, viz the man what's talking to you now, and Brooky - to wit my flat mate - and nothing else, I'd like to emphasize that - discuss current affairs issues of burning import.

Where could Mary be? He looked everywhere. Under the stones and behind the bushes...

[Your_Lion]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

Welcome to a new half-hour chat show in which me, viz the man what's talking to you now, and Brooky - to wit my flat mate - and nothing else, I'd like to emphasize that - discuss current affairs issues of burning import.

Where could Mary be? He looked everywhere. Under the stones and behind the bushes...

Early this morning he finished combing the outskirts of Lisbon and now he seems to have staked everything on one final desperate seek here in the Tagus valley. But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

[Citizen of the World]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

Welcome to a new half-hour chat show in which me, viz the man what's talking to you now, and Brooky - to wit my flat mate - and nothing else, I'd like to emphasize that - discuss current affairs issues of burning import.

Where could Mary be? He looked everywhere. Under the stones and behind the bushes...

Early this morning he finished combing the outskirts of Lisbon and now he seems to have staked everything on one final desperate seek here in the Tagus valley. But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

Your_Lion, I believe you're interested in shouting?

[Your_Lion]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

Welcome to a new half-hour chat show in which me, viz the man what's talking to you now, and Brooky - to wit my flat mate - and nothing else, I'd like to emphasize that - discuss current affairs issues of burning import.

Where could Mary be? He looked everywhere. Under the stones and behind the bushes...

Early this morning he finished combing the outskirts of Lisbon and now he seems to have staked everything on one final desperate seek here in the Tagus valley. But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

Your_Lion, I believe you're interested in shouting?

The times in the last eighteen years I've wanted to shout and sing and scream my name out! Oh, I'm alive! :yay:

[Citizen of the World]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

Welcome to a new half-hour chat show in which me, viz the man what's talking to you now, and Brooky - to wit my flat mate - and nothing else, I'd like to emphasize that - discuss current affairs issues of burning import.

Where could Mary be? He looked everywhere. Under the stones and behind the bushes...

Early this morning he finished combing the outskirts of Lisbon and now he seems to have staked everything on one final desperate seek here in the Tagus valley. But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

Your_Lion, I believe you're interested in shouting?

The times in the last eighteen years I've wanted to shout and sing and scream my name out! Oh, I'm alive! :yay:

Here...he says he's not dead!

[blackhawkrush]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

Welcome to a new half-hour chat show in which me, viz the man what's talking to you now, and Brooky - to wit my flat mate - and nothing else, I'd like to emphasize that - discuss current affairs issues of burning import.

Where could Mary be? He looked everywhere. Under the stones and behind the bushes...

Early this morning he finished combing the outskirts of Lisbon and now he seems to have staked everything on one final desperate seek here in the Tagus valley. But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

Your_Lion, I believe you're interested in shouting?

The times in the last eighteen years I've wanted to shout and sing and scream my name out! Oh, I'm alive! :yay:

Here...he says he's not dead!

He's bluffing. You're mind's gone, Your_Lion. You're rubbish. :codger:

[Citizen of the World]

I'd like to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on Saturday. Here's the ticket

..and at the line it's Mrs Casey who's got it by a short head from Mrs Penguin in second place, Mrs Parkinson in third, Mrs Rudd, Mrs Colyer, Mrs Warner and there's Mrs Griffiths who's remained unswapped.

Oh, Mrs n*****-Baiter's exploded.

Yes, it was the middle one. :hi: :hi:

This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body...

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

We dropped our pencils. :boohoo:

Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, Blackhawkrush?

Oh, sir. Why don't you ask Stebbins? He's a gynaecologist.

You wouldn't rather just have it combed, would you sir?

No, no, no, no. At nine o'clock tomorrow, I want to be in there, taming!

Well it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine.

Er, look, would you mind running along for ten minutes? Make it half an hour.

Welcome to a new half-hour chat show in which me, viz the man what's talking to you now, and Brooky - to wit my flat mate - and nothing else, I'd like to emphasize that - discuss current affairs issues of burning import.

Where could Mary be? He looked everywhere. Under the stones and behind the bushes...

Early this morning he finished combing the outskirts of Lisbon and now he seems to have staked everything on one final desperate seek here in the Tagus valley. But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

Your_Lion, I believe you're interested in shouting?

The times in the last eighteen years I've wanted to shout and sing and scream my name out! Oh, I'm alive! :yay:

Here...he says he's not dead!

He's bluffing. You're mind's gone, Your_Lion. You're rubbish. :codger:

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

[Your_Lion]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

[Citizen of the World]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

And now...Number seventeen. The top of the head.

[blackhawkrush]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

And now...Number seventeen. The top of the head.

Oh my God, what a mess. 'Ere, did you do this?

[Your_Lion]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

And now...Number seventeen. The top of the head.

Oh my God, what a mess. 'Ere, did you do this?

Oh, sorry, mum ... Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you.

[Citizen of the World]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

And now...Number seventeen. The top of the head.

Oh my God, what a mess. 'Ere, did you do this?

Oh, sorry, mum ... Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you.

Mother, could I have a quick cup of tea please. I have an important statement on Rhodesia to make in the Commons at six.

[blackhawkrush]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

And now...Number seventeen. The top of the head.

Oh my God, what a mess. 'Ere, did you do this?

Oh, sorry, mum ... Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you.

Mother, could I have a quick cup of tea please. I have an important statement on Rhodesia to make in the Commons at six.

This would give a large boost to farmers, and a lot of fun for him his friends :eh: and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge.

[Citizen of the World]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

And now...Number seventeen. The top of the head.

Oh my God, what a mess. 'Ere, did you do this?

Oh, sorry, mum ... Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you.

Mother, could I have a quick cup of tea please. I have an important statement on Rhodesia to make in the Commons at six.

This would give a large boost to farmers, and a lot of fun for him his friends :eh: and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge.

he's going to enjoy a joke with Lady Arabella Plunkett

[Your_Lion]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

And now...Number seventeen. The top of the head.

Oh my God, what a mess. 'Ere, did you do this?

Oh, sorry, mum ... Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you.

Mother, could I have a quick cup of tea please. I have an important statement on Rhodesia to make in the Commons at six.

This would give a large boost to farmers, and a lot of fun for him his friends :eh: and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge.

he's going to enjoy a joke with Lady Arabella Plunkett

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden ...violent ... comedy. Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard's crack inspector is with me now.

[Citizen of the World]

You ought to go and see a psychiatrist. You're a loony. You might even need a new brain.

:tsk: No, no, no. My brain in my head.

And now...Number seventeen. The top of the head.

Oh my God, what a mess. 'Ere, did you do this?

Oh, sorry, mum ... Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you.

Mother, could I have a quick cup of tea please. I have an important statement on Rhodesia to make in the Commons at six.

This would give a large boost to farmers, and a lot of fun for him his friends :eh: and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge.

he's going to enjoy a joke with Lady Arabella Plunkett

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden ...violent ... comedy. Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard's crack inspector is with me now.

Now, alduce me to introlow myslef. I'm sorry. Alself me to myduce introlow myslef. Introme -to-lose mlow alself. Alme to you introself mylowduce. Excuse me a moment.... Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Inspector Tiger.