IbanezJem

I knew I'd disturb you... I knew I'd disturb you... It always happens... whenever I've found someone I really think I'm going to be able to get on with...

Ah good, Sir Philip, thy sharp-tongued wit has not deserted thee. Come. Let us eat and drink. Stay with us awhile.

Yes, yes, of course we are, yes, absolutely, you're absolutely right! That's positive thinking for you.

They sound "Spursy".

We got something else for you as well, sir. Sorry it's another clock ...only there was a bit of a mix-up. Well, Nova thought he was buying the present, and 73 and I had already got the other one.

That`ll teach them, if they are. Imagine not putting them on your head.

I`ll allow it. But I`ll have a sixteen-tonne weight dropped on me the day that I start using the Taliban in my arguments. They have outlawed their Women`s Cricket Team, and that`s where I draw the line.

England (hopeless buffoons, bereft of quality, confidence and fortitude) 3-0 New Zealand (Test World Champions) was the result we all called.

Look - there, in the doorway. Aarghhh! Arthur X! Leader of the Pennine Gang!

Hey, I thought you two weren`t talking!

My cat is soooo lazy. He`s been asleep next to me all day whilst I have been busy lying on the sofa, eating and watching sport.

It's German television. Isn't it exciting, Robert? They're doing a prize-winning documentary on me.

You name it, he doesn`t like it!

Well, no, no. It wasn't on the form - they found it wasn't good for business. Anyway, we've got three hundredweight of dung in the van. Where do you want it?

Among my Dad`s litany of complaints about Cricket being awful was the constant noise of the crowd. He thinks everything should be like the 1st tee at St. Andrews. He might have had a point about "Livin` On A Prayer" from the trumpeter though.