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Everything posted by IbanezJem

  1. I knew I'd disturb you... I knew I'd disturb you... It always happens... whenever I've found someone I really think I'm going to be able to get on with...
  2. Ah good, Sir Philip, thy sharp-tongued wit has not deserted thee. Come. Let us eat and drink. Stay with us awhile.
  3. Yes, yes, of course we are, yes, absolutely, you're absolutely right! That's positive thinking for you.
  4. We got something else for you as well, sir. Sorry it's another clock ...only there was a bit of a mix-up. Well, Nova thought he was buying the present, and 73 and I had already got the other one.
  5. That`ll teach them, if they are. Imagine not putting them on your head.
  6. I`ll allow it. But I`ll have a sixteen-tonne weight dropped on me the day that I start using the Taliban in my arguments. They have outlawed their Women`s Cricket Team, and that`s where I draw the line.
  7. England (hopeless buffoons, bereft of quality, confidence and fortitude) 3-0 New Zealand (Test World Champions) was the result we all called.
  8. Look - there, in the doorway. Aarghhh! Arthur X! Leader of the Pennine Gang!
  9. My cat is soooo lazy. He`s been asleep next to me all day whilst I have been busy lying on the sofa, eating and watching sport.
  10. It's German television. Isn't it exciting, Robert? They're doing a prize-winning documentary on me.
  11. Well, no, no. It wasn't on the form - they found it wasn't good for business. Anyway, we've got three hundredweight of dung in the van. Where do you want it?
  12. Among my Dad`s litany of complaints about Cricket being awful was the constant noise of the crowd. He thinks everything should be like the 1st tee at St. Andrews. He might have had a point about "Livin` On A Prayer" from the trumpeter though.
  13. I think it`s an act of folly if a public figure reveals themselves as incredibly thin-skinned, that`s for sure.
  14. These enquiries led to certain changes at TRF...while attendances at zoos boomed.
  15. Eh... I don`t have a doorbell, as it implies an openness to interaction. I might consider a different Rush tune, Limelight perhaps. Your point about animal-scaring is valid and I get enough filthy looks from my cats.
  16. Do you say it because you didn't know? Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Right!
  17. Headingley is a nightmare crowd. They really should get back to fighting each other, like the golden days of yore.
  18. I agree that your current President should be mocked. I also thought the last one should be. I think the Supreme Court should be, all political parties, the European Court of Human Rights; anyone that takes life seriously. Our job as the population is to mock anyone who has any influence or power. It`s why I`ve been such a terrible follower of any religion, a poor employee, and a very average son and husband too.
  19. I don`t know if you`re thinking of custard pies and banana skins, rather than satire.
  20. It`s no fun to be a satirist these days... so I cut them some slack. It was easier back in the 60s, Peter Cook , David Frost etc. What can you do with the events of 2022 to make them more comical, other than straight reporting?
  21. http://www.theonion.com/supreme-court-rules-5-4-to-ride-stephen-breyer-around-l-1849106931?utm_campaign=The Onion&utm_content=1656100500&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR1l5s-w1cQn8y71ektUobmpNZjXtmDzDd_awW599D9PqaEdHtfvydnInrg
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