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And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2


Citizen of the World
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it's worth it for the dung, isn't it?

In addition to this you can win a weekend for two with Peter Bonetti. :tongue:

No, no. I'll take the blow on the head. :yay:

That's a strange expression, Bruce. :blink:

Forty-two years I've been in the regular army and I've never heard that phrase.

They're spelt differently, mean different things but sound the same. :yes:

Ach, das deutsche klassenzimmer...ach! :popcorn:

And we soon had the joke by January, in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Germans could.

Ze stupid English. Zey are prisoners and all they do is the sport.

Podgorny prepares to serve again... :gumby:

we serve no animal flesh of any kind

Tish tish. No matter. Well, four ounces of Caerphilly, then, if you please, stout yeoman.

Use your own, you great poofy poonagger! :)

Well, that's settled then. Everyone eats me.

No, we'd like to see the menu please. I don't think it's a proper restaurant unless you have a proper menu and anyway I might be pregnant.

You haven't got a womb. :eh: Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

The Ulverston Road box was removed, leaving the wall box in Esher Road as the only box for the Ulverston Road area.

Open the box! :drool: Open the box!

All right, I confess, I'm a smuggler ... This whole case is crammed full of Swiss watches and clocks. I've been purposely trying to deceive Her Majesty's Customs and Excise. I've been a bloody fool. http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/sad/sad0004.gif

Oh, you dumb cluck! :bitchslap: We spent weeks organizing this job.
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it's worth it for the dung, isn't it?

In addition to this you can win a weekend for two with Peter Bonetti. :tongue:

No, no. I'll take the blow on the head. :yay:

That's a strange expression, Bruce. :blink:

Forty-two years I've been in the regular army and I've never heard that phrase.

They're spelt differently, mean different things but sound the same. :yes:

Ach, das deutsche klassenzimmer...ach! :popcorn:

And we soon had the joke by January, in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Germans could.

Ze stupid English. Zey are prisoners and all they do is the sport.

Podgorny prepares to serve again... :gumby:

we serve no animal flesh of any kind

Tish tish. No matter. Well, four ounces of Caerphilly, then, if you please, stout yeoman.

Use your own, you great poofy poonagger! :)

Well, that's settled then. Everyone eats me.

No, we'd like to see the menu please. I don't think it's a proper restaurant unless you have a proper menu and anyway I might be pregnant.

You haven't got a womb. :eh: Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

The Ulverston Road box was removed, leaving the wall box in Esher Road as the only box for the Ulverston Road area.

Open the box! :drool: Open the box!

All right, I confess, I'm a smuggler ... This whole case is crammed full of Swiss watches and clocks. I've been purposely trying to deceive Her Majesty's Customs and Excise. I've been a bloody fool. http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/sad/sad0004.gif

Oh, you dumb cluck! :bitchslap: We spent weeks organizing this job.

I'm afraid all the vacancies were filled several weeks ago. :LMAO:
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert: Edited by blackhawkrush
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D

Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between :Neil: and :syrinx:
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D

Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between :Neil: and :syrinx:

The white car represents :Neil: with the miracle ingredient, Macallan. The non-white car represents :syrinx: . Both drummers provide 30% satisfaction. At 60% satisfaction both drummers are doing well. And now at 90% satisfaction the ... wait! The non-white car is out, and :Neil: goes on to win with 100% satisfaction! Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose :Neil: . Edited by Citizen of the World
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D

Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between :Neil: and :syrinx:

The white car represents :Neil: with the miracle ingredient, Macallan. The non-white car represents :syrinx: . Both drummers provide 30% satisfaction. At 60% satisfaction both drummers are doing well. And now at 90% satisfaction the ... wait! The non-white car is out, and :Neil: goes on to win with 100% satisfaction! Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose :Neil: .

Well, the replay will start tomorrow at 7.30 am. :gg:
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D

Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between :Neil: and :syrinx:

The white car represents :Neil: with the miracle ingredient, Macallan. The non-white car represents :syrinx: . Both drummers provide 30% satisfaction. At 60% satisfaction both drummers are doing well. And now at 90% satisfaction the ... wait! The non-white car is out, and :Neil: goes on to win with 100% satisfaction! Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose :Neil: .

Well, the replay will start tomorrow at 7.30 am. :gg:

Well, it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On SOCN now it'll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it'll be ten o'clock and at 10.30 we'll be joining SOCN in time for 10.33
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D

Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between :Neil: and :syrinx:

The white car represents :Neil: with the miracle ingredient, Macallan. The non-white car represents :syrinx: . Both drummers provide 30% satisfaction. At 60% satisfaction both drummers are doing well. And now at 90% satisfaction the ... wait! The non-white car is out, and :Neil: goes on to win with 100% satisfaction! Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose :Neil: .

Well, the replay will start tomorrow at 7.30 am. :gg:

Well, it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On SOCN now it'll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it'll be ten o'clock and at 10.30 we'll be joining SOCN in time for 10.33

That came out a bit glib didn't it? Have you got an alarm clock in there, sir?
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D

Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between :Neil: and :syrinx:

The white car represents :Neil: with the miracle ingredient, Macallan. The non-white car represents :syrinx: . Both drummers provide 30% satisfaction. At 60% satisfaction both drummers are doing well. And now at 90% satisfaction the ... wait! The non-white car is out, and :Neil: goes on to win with 100% satisfaction! Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose :Neil: .

Well, the replay will start tomorrow at 7.30 am. :gg:

Well, it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On SOCN now it'll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it'll be ten o'clock and at 10.30 we'll be joining SOCN in time for 10.33

That came out a bit glib didn't it? Have you got an alarm clock in there, sir?

I'll be the alarm clock. When I go off, look at me and use the phrase, OK?
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D

Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between :Neil: and :syrinx:

The white car represents :Neil: with the miracle ingredient, Macallan. The non-white car represents :syrinx: . Both drummers provide 30% satisfaction. At 60% satisfaction both drummers are doing well. And now at 90% satisfaction the ... wait! The non-white car is out, and :Neil: goes on to win with 100% satisfaction! Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose :Neil: .

Well, the replay will start tomorrow at 7.30 am. :gg:

Well, it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On SOCN now it'll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it'll be ten o'clock and at 10.30 we'll be joining SOCN in time for 10.33

That came out a bit glib didn't it? Have you got an alarm clock in there, sir?

I'll be the alarm clock. When I go off, look at me and use the phrase, OK?

I don't know. I just don't know. I really just don't know. I'm afraid I really just don't know. I'm afraid even I really just don't know. :eh:
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So I said, if it happened again, I'd get very angry and talk to Lord Hill and... :rage:

I think I'd pay some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowdon

Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? :ebert:

Well, we're just in it for the lobbying, you know. We just love lobbying. :coy:

There's a dead bishop in the lobby

We was too late... The Rev. Neuk saw the light.

He's not completely dead. :Alex: No. But he's not at all well.

Since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent098.gif

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own Dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

He wants to put his bed in our room. :rage:

when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime! :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Oh Blackhawkrush, are you going to do anything or are you just going to show me films all evening?

Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. :D

Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between :Neil: and :syrinx:

The white car represents :Neil: with the miracle ingredient, Macallan. The non-white car represents :syrinx: . Both drummers provide 30% satisfaction. At 60% satisfaction both drummers are doing well. And now at 90% satisfaction the ... wait! The non-white car is out, and :Neil: goes on to win with 100% satisfaction! Yes, do like all smart motorists. Choose :Neil: .

Well, the replay will start tomorrow at 7.30 am. :gg:

Well, it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On SOCN now it'll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it'll be ten o'clock and at 10.30 we'll be joining SOCN in time for 10.33

That came out a bit glib didn't it? Have you got an alarm clock in there, sir?

I'll be the alarm clock. When I go off, look at me and use the phrase, OK?

I don't know. I just don't know. I really just don't know. I'm afraid I really just don't know. I'm afraid even I really just don't know. :eh:

You think you know it all, eh?
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