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Remember Danny, Two wrongs don't make a right...


librarian
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Oh, this is the ugliest hat I've ever seen...I bet you buy a hat like this you get a free bowl of soup. [sees Judge Smails wearing the hat] Oh it looks good on you, though.
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This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

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Hello? Anybody home? Hello, Mr. Gopher! Its me, Mr. Squirrel. Just a harmless squirrel. Not a plastic explosive or anything. Nothing to be worried about. I'm just here to make your last hours on earth as peaceful as possible. Don't mind this. This is doctors orders.
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Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.

Angie D'Annunzio: A looper?

Carl Spackler: A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

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Oh, Mrs. Crane, I'm looking at you... You wore green so you could hide. I don't blame you - you're a tramp! Ooh! That was right where you wanted it! Ooh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman you know that? You're a little monkey woman... You're lean and you're mean and you're not too far between either I bet, are ya? Would you like to wrap your spikes around my head?
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This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.
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