Married With Friends Of Opposite Sex

[Mara]

[workingcinderellaman]

[ILSnwdog]

[tangy]

[fledgehog]

say what you want about my opinion or my age, I still think it's controlling and in this case quite frankly borderline-sexist to dictate so explicitly who your significant other can or can't hang out with. Obviously it depends on the scenario -- a motorcycle ride alone with someone else is a little bit sketchy, but the general idea of having an opposite-sex best friend isn't ridiculous at all.

 

looking forward to the impending condescending response. I guess one of the parts of still being young and innocent is that I haven't developed a superiority complex yet.

[Mara]

It is odd how the rules change once someone is older and married.

Why is it that when I was 18, 19, 22, whatever, and unmarried, no one batted an eyelash or wondered if "something is up" if I hung out with my straight and unattached guy friends? Or even if we were both dating others and just wanted to, say, go to a Rush show together without our SO's (because for one thing, the SO's hated Rush. Hey, it happens).

 

But once that ring is there everyone gets all suspicious and gossipy. It's not like suddenly being married makes someone more of a hormone-driven beast.

 

*edit for minor grammar error that still drove me nuts when I saw it

Edited October 19, 2011 by Mara

[umoveme]

It depends on a lot of things...

 

Are/were there and honesty issues regarding the opposite sex?

 

Are there resonalble reasons for one feeling uncomfortable eg (is the friend a flirty whore)?

 

Trust is trust and its pretty much 100% necessary in a healthy relationship.

If a spouse passes these situations and someone is uncomfortable solely because the friend is of the opposite sex, then they are being insecure and they should work on that.

 

 

[Principled Man]

QUOTE (On TheRoad To Adventure @ Oct 19 2011, 12:42 PM)

My husband and I have been married for over 20 years.  I would never consider spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex (except my own brother, of course) and my husband agrees totally.  He would never spend time alone with another woman.  It is just unhealthy and asking for trouble.  However, I have single female friends and my husband has single male friends who love to hang out with both of us together.  There is nothing wrong with that.

Very well said.

 

The key word here is "alone". Spending time together with several people, married or unmarried, is fine. It's when two people spend time alone that trouble can start. It could come from the "friend", or the married person, or from other people who start gossipping about the "friendship".

 

The friend could get too attached.

The married person could get too attached.

The spouse could get too jealous or offended.

It could confuse or anger the kids.

The possibilities for misunderstandings and arguments are many.

It's just not feasible.

[danielmclark]

QUOTE (Blenderhead @ Oct 19 2011, 10:30 AM)

QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 10:02 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. There is no foundation in reality? Really? You may think you're above it, but statistics say there sure as hell IS a foundation in reality. If you think otherwise your wrong. Are there really statistics showing that?   I can confirm that I'm not like that, but I don't know what goes on in other guys' heads, so I can't make conclusions like that. I'll just say I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though. Of course there aren't any statistics backing that up; only tick's delusions and projections. Exactly right. Only the most cynical, burned out people would seriously believe this tripe, and it's the perpetuation of this MYTH that makes it harder for people to have decent relationships.   Your wife has her arms around some other guy on a motorcycle - OH NO!!! CALL THE DIVORCE LAWYERS! Clearly she doesn't love you anymore, clearly she is having an affair with that man and clearly... clearly nothing. Clearly, some people in this thread are paranoid to the point of lunacy.   I'm sick of the stereotyping. All men love sports. All men love power tools and fast cars. All men are pigs, all men are social retards, all men are idiots, all men want to screw every woman they meet. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT and you have no DATA to back this up, only our warped sense of what's "true" based on your own VERY limited experience.   ...unless you're going to suggest that you've spent your life polling every man you've ever met about his intentions toward every woman he's ever met? No, didn't think so.

[danielmclark]

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 11:16 AM)

QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. No.     Tick has a point actually.     You have to remember that we are still simply animals. Are main goal in life is to survive and reproduce. The only thing that separates us from other animals is the ability of conscience though and reasoning. This ability has to be strong enough to overcome our natural urges and not all humans can do that.     According to Aristotle, humans are constantly after the 'good life' and I bet if this guy thinks he will be able to hook up with his buddy's wife he will do it.     IMO, its okay to have friends of the opposite sex, but there has to be a limit to how much they do together. No, tick doesn't have a fking point, actually. What tick has is x years of watching the media in this country try to convince us all that men are unintelligent beasts as soon as a woman walks in the room. It's not true. Not remotely. And you, apparently, are no different.

[PhilCastro]

QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:38 PM)

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 11:16 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. No.     Tick has a point actually.     You have to remember that we are still simply animals. Are main goal in life is to survive and reproduce. The only thing that separates us from other animals is the ability of conscience though and reasoning. This ability has to be strong enough to overcome our natural urges and not all humans can do that.     According to Aristotle, humans are constantly after the 'good life' and I bet if this guy thinks he will be able to hook up with his buddy's wife he will do it.     IMO, its okay to have friends of the opposite sex, but there has to be a limit to how much they do together. No, tick doesn't have a fking point, actually. What tick has is x years of watching the media in this country try to convince us all that men are unintelligent beasts as soon as a woman walks in the room. It's not true. Not remotely. And you, apparently, are no different. How can you say it's not remotely true when we have an actually case of it happening to one of our members here?     No, not all men are unintelligent beasts... but a lot of them still base their action off of natural instincts. It's just the way it goes.     If you want to be completely oblivious to the truth, so be it.

[thesweetscience]

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 05:27 PM)

QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:38 PM) QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 11:16 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. No.     Tick has a point actually.     You have to remember that we are still simply animals. Are main goal in life is to survive and reproduce. The only thing that separates us from other animals is the ability of conscience though and reasoning. This ability has to be strong enough to overcome our natural urges and not all humans can do that.     According to Aristotle, humans are constantly after the 'good life' and I bet if this guy thinks he will be able to hook up with his buddy's wife he will do it.     IMO, its okay to have friends of the opposite sex, but there has to be a limit to how much they do together. No, tick doesn't have a fking point, actually. What tick has is x years of watching the media in this country try to convince us all that men are unintelligent beasts as soon as a woman walks in the room. It's not true. Not remotely. And you, apparently, are no different. How can you say it's not remotely true when we have an actually case of it happening to one of our members here?     No, not all men are unintelligent beasts... but a lot of them still base their action off of natural instincts. It's just the way it goes.     If you want to be completely oblivious to the truth, so be it. And it isn't just men. Women initiate this type of thing too. Its human nature.

[PhilCastro]

QUOTE (thesweetscience @ Oct 19 2011, 05:30 PM)

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 05:27 PM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:38 PM) QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 11:16 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. No.     Tick has a point actually.     You have to remember that we are still simply animals. Are main goal in life is to survive and reproduce. The only thing that separates us from other animals is the ability of conscience though and reasoning. This ability has to be strong enough to overcome our natural urges and not all humans can do that.     According to Aristotle, humans are constantly after the 'good life' and I bet if this guy thinks he will be able to hook up with his buddy's wife he will do it.     IMO, its okay to have friends of the opposite sex, but there has to be a limit to how much they do together. No, tick doesn't have a fking point, actually. What tick has is x years of watching the media in this country try to convince us all that men are unintelligent beasts as soon as a woman walks in the room. It's not true. Not remotely. And you, apparently, are no different. How can you say it's not remotely true when we have an actually case of it happening to one of our members here?     No, not all men are unintelligent beasts... but a lot of them still base their action off of natural instincts. It's just the way it goes.     If you want to be completely oblivious to the truth, so be it. And it isn't just men. Women initiate this type of thing too. Its human nature. Yes Sir

[danielmclark]

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 03:27 PM)

How can you say it's not remotely true when we have an actually case of it happening to one of our members here? No, not all men are unintelligent beasts... but a lot of them still base their action off of natural instincts. It's just the way it goes. If you want to be completely oblivious to the truth, so be it.

Because it's not a matter of a member coming in and saying "my spouse cheated on me" and that's it. This entire thread, with a few exceptions, is member after member coming in here saying that all men are sex-obsessed uncontrollable horn dogs. Go back and read the comments. It's a perpetuation of the myth that as soon as a woman gives us any attention we'll get "ideas" and start planning how to best get her into bed and hide it from our wives.

 

It's insulting.

[Tick]

QUOTE (fledgehog @ Oct 19 2011, 03:39 PM)

say what you want about my opinion or my age, I still think it's controlling and in this case quite frankly borderline-sexist to dictate so explicitly who your significant other can or can't hang out with. Obviously it depends on the scenario -- a motorcycle ride alone with someone else is a little bit sketchy, but the general idea of having an opposite-sex best friend isn't ridiculous at all. looking forward to the impending condescending response. I guess one of the parts of still being young and innocent is that I haven't developed a superiority complex yet.

If you came in and read the thread and made an intelligent well thought out post I would not have made light of how ridiculous your post was. It wasn't intended to be objective, it was just an ill informed rant. Now you bring up the motorcycle might be questionable which means you have decided to actually think a little bit more then to just go off on an immature tangent.

[Tick]

QUOTE (Mara @ Oct 19 2011, 04:05 PM)

It is odd how the rules change once someone is older and married.

Its not odd at all. It generally means they have a better understanding of a topic that they know nothing about in practical terms. Read Fledges first post and it proves my point.

[Can-Utility]

And yet again, tick refers to the younger = invalid opinion argument

[Tick]

QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:34 PM)

QUOTE (Blenderhead @ Oct 19 2011, 10:30 AM) QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 10:02 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. There is no foundation in reality? Really? You may think you're above it, but statistics say there sure as hell IS a foundation in reality. If you think otherwise your wrong. Are there really statistics showing that?   I can confirm that I'm not like that, but I don't know what goes on in other guys' heads, so I can't make conclusions like that. I'll just say I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though. Of course there aren't any statistics backing that up; only tick's delusions and projections. Exactly right. Only the most cynical, burned out people would seriously believe this tripe, and it's the perpetuation of this MYTH that makes it harder for people to have decent relationships.   Your wife has her arms around some other guy on a motorcycle - OH NO!!! CALL THE DIVORCE LAWYERS! Clearly she doesn't love you anymore, clearly she is having an affair with that man and clearly... clearly nothing. Clearly, some people in this thread are paranoid to the point of lunacy.   I'm sick of the stereotyping. All men love sports. All men love power tools and fast cars. All men are pigs, all men are social retards, all men are idiots, all men want to screw every woman they meet. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT and you have no DATA to back this up, only our warped sense of what's "true" based on your own VERY limited experience.   ...unless you're going to suggest that you've spent your life polling every man you've ever met about his intentions toward every woman he's ever met? No, didn't think so. Are you married Daniel? If so tell me you would welcome you're wife wrapped around some dude as they ride around on his motorcycle. and then have him come over again when your not home to hang out and watch movies, and then again when your not home, and again, and again, and again.   No worries right?   and I'm sure she would love it it some hot girl friend of yours came over to hang out a couple times a week.   Its all perfectly normal activity for married couples. (who will be divorced soon)

[Can-Utility]

QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 03:17 PM)

QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:34 PM) QUOTE (Blenderhead @ Oct 19 2011, 10:30 AM) QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 10:02 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. There is no foundation in reality? Really? You may think you're above it, but statistics say there sure as hell IS a foundation in reality. If you think otherwise your wrong. Are there really statistics showing that?   I can confirm that I'm not like that, but I don't know what goes on in other guys' heads, so I can't make conclusions like that. I'll just say I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though. Of course there aren't any statistics backing that up; only tick's delusions and projections. Exactly right. Only the most cynical, burned out people would seriously believe this tripe, and it's the perpetuation of this MYTH that makes it harder for people to have decent relationships.   Your wife has her arms around some other guy on a motorcycle - OH NO!!! CALL THE DIVORCE LAWYERS! Clearly she doesn't love you anymore, clearly she is having an affair with that man and clearly... clearly nothing. Clearly, some people in this thread are paranoid to the point of lunacy.   I'm sick of the stereotyping. All men love sports. All men love power tools and fast cars. All men are pigs, all men are social retards, all men are idiots, all men want to screw every woman they meet. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT and you have no DATA to back this up, only our warped sense of what's "true" based on your own VERY limited experience.   ...unless you're going to suggest that you've spent your life polling every man you've ever met about his intentions toward every woman he's ever met? No, didn't think so. Are you married Daniel? If so tell me you would welcome you're wife wrapped around some dude as they ride around on his motorcycle. and then have him come over again when your not home to hang out and watch movies, and then again when your not home, and again, and again, and again.   No worries right?   and I'm sure she would love it it some hot girl friend of yours came over to hang out a couple times a week.   Its all perfectly normal activity for married couples. (who will be divorced soon) Well, enjoy the divorce then. At least it leaves you more time to not be fretting over your wife having friends.   yes, YOUR wife, not you're wife

Edited October 19, 2011 by Can-Utility

[Blenderhead]

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:18 PM)

QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 03:17 PM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:34 PM) QUOTE (Blenderhead @ Oct 19 2011, 10:30 AM) QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 10:02 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. There is no foundation in reality? Really? You may think you're above it, but statistics say there sure as hell IS a foundation in reality. If you think otherwise your wrong. Are there really statistics showing that?   I can confirm that I'm not like that, but I don't know what goes on in other guys' heads, so I can't make conclusions like that. I'll just say I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though. Of course there aren't any statistics backing that up; only tick's delusions and projections. Exactly right. Only the most cynical, burned out people would seriously believe this tripe, and it's the perpetuation of this MYTH that makes it harder for people to have decent relationships.   Your wife has her arms around some other guy on a motorcycle - OH NO!!! CALL THE DIVORCE LAWYERS! Clearly she doesn't love you anymore, clearly she is having an affair with that man and clearly... clearly nothing. Clearly, some people in this thread are paranoid to the point of lunacy.   I'm sick of the stereotyping. All men love sports. All men love power tools and fast cars. All men are pigs, all men are social retards, all men are idiots, all men want to screw every woman they meet. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT and you have no DATA to back this up, only our warped sense of what's "true" based on your own VERY limited experience.   ...unless you're going to suggest that you've spent your life polling every man you've ever met about his intentions toward every woman he's ever met? No, didn't think so. Are you married Daniel? If so tell me you would welcome you're wife wrapped around some dude as they ride around on his motorcycle. and then have him come over again when your not home to hang out and watch movies, and then again when your not home, and again, and again, and again.   No worries right?   and I'm sure she would love it it some hot girl friend of yours came over to hang out a couple times a week.   Its all perfectly normal activity for married couples. (who will be divorced soon) Well, enjoy the divorce then. At least it leaves you more time to not be fretting over your wife having friends.   yes, YOUR wife, not you're wife   X2 for your post about tick resorting to ageism again.

[danielmclark]

QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 04:17 PM)

QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:34 PM) QUOTE (Blenderhead @ Oct 19 2011, 10:30 AM) QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 10:02 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. There is no foundation in reality? Really? You may think you're above it, but statistics say there sure as hell IS a foundation in reality. If you think otherwise your wrong. Are there really statistics showing that?   I can confirm that I'm not like that, but I don't know what goes on in other guys' heads, so I can't make conclusions like that. I'll just say I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though. Of course there aren't any statistics backing that up; only tick's delusions and projections. Exactly right. Only the most cynical, burned out people would seriously believe this tripe, and it's the perpetuation of this MYTH that makes it harder for people to have decent relationships.   Your wife has her arms around some other guy on a motorcycle - OH NO!!! CALL THE DIVORCE LAWYERS! Clearly she doesn't love you anymore, clearly she is having an affair with that man and clearly... clearly nothing. Clearly, some people in this thread are paranoid to the point of lunacy.   I'm sick of the stereotyping. All men love sports. All men love power tools and fast cars. All men are pigs, all men are social retards, all men are idiots, all men want to screw every woman they meet. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT and you have no DATA to back this up, only our warped sense of what's "true" based on your own VERY limited experience.   ...unless you're going to suggest that you've spent your life polling every man you've ever met about his intentions toward every woman he's ever met? No, didn't think so. Are you married Daniel? If so tell me you would welcome you're wife wrapped around some dude as they ride around on his motorcycle. and then have him come over again when your not home to hang out and watch movies, and then again when your not home, and again, and again, and again.   No worries right?   and I'm sure she would love it it some hot girl friend of yours came over to hang out a couple times a week.   Its all perfectly normal activity for married couples. (who will be divorced soon) I'm 36, married with two kids, and I trust myself and my wife implicitly. That includes both of us being good judges of character and knowing that neither of us would spend an inordinate amount of time with someone of questionable character.   That's to say, my wife wouldn't hang with someone that she suspected of harboring feelings about her, and I wouldn't hang with a woman who thought that way of me. And since, contrary to your ridiculous point of view, I am not going to compromise my marriage and I trust my wife to not compromise it either...   No, I wouldn't care if my wife rode on the back of a guy's motorcycle. Likewise, she didn't care that the Best Man at our wedding was actually a Best WoMan, my best friend, Allison - someone I've known for 20 years and wouldn't dream of trying to sleep with. We're not as close as we used to be, but I still see her once every month or two, we go have dinner or go shopping or something.   Let's hear a rant from you now about how my marriage is at risk.

[Can-Utility]

QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 03:28 PM)

QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 04:17 PM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:34 PM) QUOTE (Blenderhead @ Oct 19 2011, 10:30 AM) QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 10:02 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. There is no foundation in reality? Really? You may think you're above it, but statistics say there sure as hell IS a foundation in reality. If you think otherwise your wrong. Are there really statistics showing that?   I can confirm that I'm not like that, but I don't know what goes on in other guys' heads, so I can't make conclusions like that. I'll just say I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though. Of course there aren't any statistics backing that up; only tick's delusions and projections. Exactly right. Only the most cynical, burned out people would seriously believe this tripe, and it's the perpetuation of this MYTH that makes it harder for people to have decent relationships.   Your wife has her arms around some other guy on a motorcycle - OH NO!!! CALL THE DIVORCE LAWYERS! Clearly she doesn't love you anymore, clearly she is having an affair with that man and clearly... clearly nothing. Clearly, some people in this thread are paranoid to the point of lunacy.   I'm sick of the stereotyping. All men love sports. All men love power tools and fast cars. All men are pigs, all men are social retards, all men are idiots, all men want to screw every woman they meet. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT and you have no DATA to back this up, only our warped sense of what's "true" based on your own VERY limited experience.   ...unless you're going to suggest that you've spent your life polling every man you've ever met about his intentions toward every woman he's ever met? No, didn't think so. Are you married Daniel? If so tell me you would welcome you're wife wrapped around some dude as they ride around on his motorcycle. and then have him come over again when your not home to hang out and watch movies, and then again when your not home, and again, and again, and again.   No worries right?   and I'm sure she would love it it some hot girl friend of yours came over to hang out a couple times a week.   Its all perfectly normal activity for married couples. (who will be divorced soon) I'm 36, married with two kids, and I trust myself and my wife implicitly. That includes both of us being good judges of character and knowing that neither of us would spend an inordinate amount of time with someone of questionable character.   That's to say, my wife wouldn't hang with someone that she suspected of harboring feelings about her, and I wouldn't hang with a woman who thought that way of me. And since, contrary to your ridiculous point of view, I am not going to compromise my marriage and I trust my wife to not compromise it either...   No, I wouldn't care if my wife rode on the back of a guy's motorcycle. Likewise, she didn't care that the Best Man at our wedding was actually a Best WoMan, my best friend, Allison - someone I've known for 20 years and wouldn't dream of trying to sleep with. We're not as close as we used to be, but I still see her once every month or two, we go have dinner or go shopping or something.   Let's hear a rant from you now about how my marriage is at risk. Allison is obviously trying to ruin your marriage. The only logical course of action is to kill her and bring her heart to the shrine of matrimony, deep in the heart of the Brazilian wilderness, and to bless it there and consume it. Quick! Before your marriage is ruined!

[Tick]

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:18 PM)

QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 03:17 PM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:34 PM) QUOTE (Blenderhead @ Oct 19 2011, 10:30 AM) QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 10:02 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. There is no foundation in reality? Really? You may think you're above it, but statistics say there sure as hell IS a foundation in reality. If you think otherwise your wrong. Are there really statistics showing that?   I can confirm that I'm not like that, but I don't know what goes on in other guys' heads, so I can't make conclusions like that. I'll just say I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though. Of course there aren't any statistics backing that up; only tick's delusions and projections. Exactly right. Only the most cynical, burned out people would seriously believe this tripe, and it's the perpetuation of this MYTH that makes it harder for people to have decent relationships.   Your wife has her arms around some other guy on a motorcycle - OH NO!!! CALL THE DIVORCE LAWYERS! Clearly she doesn't love you anymore, clearly she is having an affair with that man and clearly... clearly nothing. Clearly, some people in this thread are paranoid to the point of lunacy.   I'm sick of the stereotyping. All men love sports. All men love power tools and fast cars. All men are pigs, all men are social retards, all men are idiots, all men want to screw every woman they meet. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT and you have no DATA to back this up, only our warped sense of what's "true" based on your own VERY limited experience.   ...unless you're going to suggest that you've spent your life polling every man you've ever met about his intentions toward every woman he's ever met? No, didn't think so. Are you married Daniel? If so tell me you would welcome you're wife wrapped around some dude as they ride around on his motorcycle. and then have him come over again when your not home to hang out and watch movies, and then again when your not home, and again, and again, and again.   No worries right?   and I'm sure she would love it it some hot girl friend of yours came over to hang out a couple times a week.   Its all perfectly normal activity for married couples. (who will be divorced soon) Well, enjoy the divorce then. At least it leaves you more time to not be fretting over your wife having friends.   yes, YOUR wife, not you're wife Correcting my grammar is all you got?

[PhilCastro]

QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 05:57 PM)

QUOTE (PhilCastro @ Oct 19 2011, 03:27 PM) How can you say it's not remotely true when we have an actually case of it happening to one of our members here? No, not all men are unintelligent beasts... but a lot of them still base their action off of natural instincts. It's just the way it goes. If you want to be completely oblivious to the truth, so be it. Because it's not a matter of a member coming in and saying "my spouse cheated on me" and that's it. This entire thread, with a few exceptions, is member after member coming in here saying that all men are sex-obsessed uncontrollable horn dogs. Go back and read the comments. It's a perpetuation of the myth that as soon as a woman gives us any attention we'll get "ideas" and start planning how to best get her into bed and hide it from our wives.   It's insulting. That isn't the point of this thread...   At least not how I saw it.   I never said all men look at women and try to get them into bed. I'm just saying that if a man and woman are friends and start to get close, chances of their naturally urges taking control is greater. It's up to the man to use his intelligence to realize "oh this is dumb and i shouldn't sleep with my friend's wife." Apparently you have this intelligence and you realize that it shouldn't happen. Good. I applaud you for it. All I'm saying is that there are men out there that can't control their natural instincts. Some men are built to have female friends, and some men are not.   I know it shouldn't happen. I believe it's wrong and disgusting to cheat on your wife/husband, but it happens and there is no denying that. The question is why does this happen?

[Can-Utility]

QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 03:32 PM)

QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 19 2011, 06:18 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 03:17 PM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 04:34 PM) QUOTE (Blenderhead @ Oct 19 2011, 10:30 AM) QUOTE (Steel Rat @ Oct 19 2011, 12:06 PM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 10:02 AM) QUOTE (danielmclark @ Oct 19 2011, 10:32 AM) QUOTE (tick @ Oct 19 2011, 06:30 AM) I told him man have one thing on there mind if they are hanging out with an attractive women and sooner or later they will act upon there feelings. Its inevitable. Human are of a carnal nature and that beast is in there waiting to come out. Bullshit. Absolute, total and complete bullshit. It's a stereotype of men that has absolutely no foundation in reality. We are not ALL like that. There is no foundation in reality? Really? You may think you're above it, but statistics say there sure as hell IS a foundation in reality. If you think otherwise your wrong. Are there really statistics showing that?   I can confirm that I'm not like that, but I don't know what goes on in other guys' heads, so I can't make conclusions like that. I'll just say I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though. Of course there aren't any statistics backing that up; only tick's delusions and projections. Exactly right. Only the most cynical, burned out people would seriously believe this tripe, and it's the perpetuation of this MYTH that makes it harder for people to have decent relationships.   Your wife has her arms around some other guy on a motorcycle - OH NO!!! CALL THE DIVORCE LAWYERS! Clearly she doesn't love you anymore, clearly she is having an affair with that man and clearly... clearly nothing. Clearly, some people in this thread are paranoid to the point of lunacy.   I'm sick of the stereotyping. All men love sports. All men love power tools and fast cars. All men are pigs, all men are social retards, all men are idiots, all men want to screw every woman they meet. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT and you have no DATA to back this up, only our warped sense of what's "true" based on your own VERY limited experience.   ...unless you're going to suggest that you've spent your life polling every man you've ever met about his intentions toward every woman he's ever met? No, didn't think so. Are you married Daniel? If so tell me you would welcome you're wife wrapped around some dude as they ride around on his motorcycle. and then have him come over again when your not home to hang out and watch movies, and then again when your not home, and again, and again, and again.   No worries right?   and I'm sure she would love it it some hot girl friend of yours came over to hang out a couple times a week.   Its all perfectly normal activity for married couples. (who will be divorced soon) Well, enjoy the divorce then. At least it leaves you more time to not be fretting over your wife having friends.   yes, YOUR wife, not you're wife Correcting my grammar is all you got? No, see my other post. Also see fledgehog's post.